3665: A beauty to watch, A danger to touch - Harry, Michael Henry Potter
- The link of the day is Why Mary Sues Suck and How to Avoid Creating One.
- Flashback Sue
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.
TITLE: A beauty to watch, A danger to touch
PERPETRATOR:
SUE-O-METER: Toxic
COVER/BANNER ART: None
SUMMARY:”Harry runs away after he's overlooked by his parents in favour of his twin brother Michael. Growing up in an Orphanage has warped Harry's nature and he begins to make a name for himself in the upper echelons of the international political scenes, all the while avoiding the detection of his DADA teacher and fellow Slytherins. HP/TMR DarkHarry”
FULL NAME: Michael Henry Potter, Harry
SPECIES: Harry's twin, and of course Harry.
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: n/a
CONNECTION TO CANON: Lily gives birth, and James decides the prophecy has nothing to do with Harry, but has to do with his brother. Michael is a cry baby whom their House Elf named Minky can't handle, so the boy gets special treatment. His magical core is special. (We're supposed to believe his brother gets special treatment, but “Lily would always read this book to Harry specifically before bedtime because she knew he had a greater love for books than his brother- who would end up tearing the pages in boredome...” Later on she's suddenly to busy for Harry, and so Harry runs away. (Or will. They're still in cribs!) Lily is of course still alive. (She shouldn't be.) James is alive as well. (Shouldn't be either.) He runs away, finds a snake, and decides to go evil on his family, or the other orphans he got caught up with. I thin it's both.
ORIGIN: We've got another story where Harry is overlooked for his twin brother. Why writer's think this is a good story, I do not know.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: “Ahh. Michael it appears has a very big magical core, just above above average and strong as well. Hmmm... Has he shown any signs of accidental magic yet?” He did at eleven months. Harry's core is unstable, and thus must be weak. Apparently prepared to sacrifice is now as good as actually sacrificing. He's supper good at magic.
NOTES: It's bad when I think I've read the story before, but quickly find it actually hasn't been featured. Magical cores are a sure sign you've got at least one Mary Sue or Gary Stu on your hands. Actually, magical cores is a sure sign you've got a writer who doesn't get the canon material either.
SAMPLE:
'Come on Lily! Push! PUSH!'' The Healer at St Mungo's urged.
Screams of pain tore through the small hospital room as Lily Potter gave birth to two twin boys at 11: 55 PM. Meanwhile, her husband James waited outside, running a hand through his hair frustratedly. From time to time, he'd dart a glance to the clock at the front reception before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. All he could think about were the new additions to his family. And also how the Saviour of the Light could be currently exiting his wife.
The prophecy echoed in his mind. Of course not all of it, just the first part. Albus said it would be dangerous to know the whole thing altogether and said not to think on it too much; but he did.
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...
Of course it didn't have to be one of James' and Lily's twins, the Saviour could be Neville who was born just a few hours ago. Both Frank and Alice had also faced the Dark Lord three times and got away with just surface wounds and their lives barely intact. However, Dumbledore wasn't too sure on who the Chosen One would be and so it could be either Neville or the twins. The matter was indefinite and drew Lily, James, Frank and Alice round the bend.
''One last push! And there we go!'' The nurse inside beamed at the exhausted red head and Lily smiled back weakly. ''They're absolutely gorgeous Ms Potter! Now why don't I go get your husband, I'm sure he's quite worried; I see no reason to keep him from you!'' The nurse had to yell slightly over the wails of the newborns but eventually, she just silencio'd them
The midwife bustled around the room but whilst she was gushing about her first delivery, she accidentally mixed up the times of which the twins were born. Nurse Duffy peered at the tag saying 11:56 PM then at the one saying 11:59 PM before gazing at the two boys in front of her. She figured the time didn't matter and stuck the wrong label on what she thought was the right baby then poked her head outside the door.
Suddenly, James burst into the room and sighed in obvious relief as he saw his wife resting on the bed with two identical cribs placed near her. Lily's eyes were closed but James knew she wasn't really asleep, just embracing the feeling of motherhood. He placed delicate kiss on her forehead and whispered in her ear, ''How are you love?''
''Just dandy thanks.'' Came the short, tired reply. James chuckled softly and moved over to the cots to give his wife some peace. He looked over at the twin boys and muttered to himself, ''I'm a father.'' A goofy smile stretched his face and a satisfied hum escaped his lips.
On the left was Michael Henry Potter he decided, with a sprinkling of red hair spread over head and was a healthy pink. James observed how his oldest son had Lily's flaming red hair but his warm, chocolate eyes. The shape of Michael's lips were also his and so was the wide nose and square jaw. On the right, a total contrast to his brother, was Harry James Potter.
The difference between the two startled James and he unconsciously took a step back.
Harry was nearly as pale as a ghost and already had a large tuft of raven back hair on his head. Despite still having baby fat, Harry's chin was obviously pointier with slightly more prominent cheekbones. His lips were like Lily's, pale pink and his nose straight and slightly turned up. What shocked James the most was Harry's eyes. They were green, of course like Lily's but whereas Lily's were emerald Harry's weren't. Both weren't even the same colour! One eye was a deep emerald with gold shards and the other was a light grey with darker grey shards but both were encircled by a deep black. It was unnatural.
James took a deep breath. He refused to judge his son by his appearance. He'd made enough mistakes by doing that. No, he'd love Harry no less than Michael.
"Welcome to the world my sons.'' He murmured softly.
- Flashback Sue
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.
TITLE: A beauty to watch, A danger to touch
PERPETRATOR:
SUE-O-METER: Toxic
COVER/BANNER ART: None
SUMMARY:”Harry runs away after he's overlooked by his parents in favour of his twin brother Michael. Growing up in an Orphanage has warped Harry's nature and he begins to make a name for himself in the upper echelons of the international political scenes, all the while avoiding the detection of his DADA teacher and fellow Slytherins. HP/TMR DarkHarry”
FULL NAME: Michael Henry Potter, Harry
SPECIES: Harry's twin, and of course Harry.
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: n/a
CONNECTION TO CANON: Lily gives birth, and James decides the prophecy has nothing to do with Harry, but has to do with his brother. Michael is a cry baby whom their House Elf named Minky can't handle, so the boy gets special treatment. His magical core is special. (We're supposed to believe his brother gets special treatment, but “Lily would always read this book to Harry specifically before bedtime because she knew he had a greater love for books than his brother- who would end up tearing the pages in boredome...” Later on she's suddenly to busy for Harry, and so Harry runs away. (Or will. They're still in cribs!) Lily is of course still alive. (She shouldn't be.) James is alive as well. (Shouldn't be either.) He runs away, finds a snake, and decides to go evil on his family, or the other orphans he got caught up with. I thin it's both.
ORIGIN: We've got another story where Harry is overlooked for his twin brother. Why writer's think this is a good story, I do not know.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: “Ahh. Michael it appears has a very big magical core, just above above average and strong as well. Hmmm... Has he shown any signs of accidental magic yet?” He did at eleven months. Harry's core is unstable, and thus must be weak. Apparently prepared to sacrifice is now as good as actually sacrificing. He's supper good at magic.
NOTES: It's bad when I think I've read the story before, but quickly find it actually hasn't been featured. Magical cores are a sure sign you've got at least one Mary Sue or Gary Stu on your hands. Actually, magical cores is a sure sign you've got a writer who doesn't get the canon material either.
SAMPLE:
'Come on Lily! Push! PUSH!'' The Healer at St Mungo's urged.
Screams of pain tore through the small hospital room as Lily Potter gave birth to two twin boys at 11: 55 PM. Meanwhile, her husband James waited outside, running a hand through his hair frustratedly. From time to time, he'd dart a glance to the clock at the front reception before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. All he could think about were the new additions to his family. And also how the Saviour of the Light could be currently exiting his wife.
The prophecy echoed in his mind. Of course not all of it, just the first part. Albus said it would be dangerous to know the whole thing altogether and said not to think on it too much; but he did.
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...
Of course it didn't have to be one of James' and Lily's twins, the Saviour could be Neville who was born just a few hours ago. Both Frank and Alice had also faced the Dark Lord three times and got away with just surface wounds and their lives barely intact. However, Dumbledore wasn't too sure on who the Chosen One would be and so it could be either Neville or the twins. The matter was indefinite and drew Lily, James, Frank and Alice round the bend.
''One last push! And there we go!'' The nurse inside beamed at the exhausted red head and Lily smiled back weakly. ''They're absolutely gorgeous Ms Potter! Now why don't I go get your husband, I'm sure he's quite worried; I see no reason to keep him from you!'' The nurse had to yell slightly over the wails of the newborns but eventually, she just silencio'd them
The midwife bustled around the room but whilst she was gushing about her first delivery, she accidentally mixed up the times of which the twins were born. Nurse Duffy peered at the tag saying 11:56 PM then at the one saying 11:59 PM before gazing at the two boys in front of her. She figured the time didn't matter and stuck the wrong label on what she thought was the right baby then poked her head outside the door.
Suddenly, James burst into the room and sighed in obvious relief as he saw his wife resting on the bed with two identical cribs placed near her. Lily's eyes were closed but James knew she wasn't really asleep, just embracing the feeling of motherhood. He placed delicate kiss on her forehead and whispered in her ear, ''How are you love?''
''Just dandy thanks.'' Came the short, tired reply. James chuckled softly and moved over to the cots to give his wife some peace. He looked over at the twin boys and muttered to himself, ''I'm a father.'' A goofy smile stretched his face and a satisfied hum escaped his lips.
On the left was Michael Henry Potter he decided, with a sprinkling of red hair spread over head and was a healthy pink. James observed how his oldest son had Lily's flaming red hair but his warm, chocolate eyes. The shape of Michael's lips were also his and so was the wide nose and square jaw. On the right, a total contrast to his brother, was Harry James Potter.
The difference between the two startled James and he unconsciously took a step back.
Harry was nearly as pale as a ghost and already had a large tuft of raven back hair on his head. Despite still having baby fat, Harry's chin was obviously pointier with slightly more prominent cheekbones. His lips were like Lily's, pale pink and his nose straight and slightly turned up. What shocked James the most was Harry's eyes. They were green, of course like Lily's but whereas Lily's were emerald Harry's weren't. Both weren't even the same colour! One eye was a deep emerald with gold shards and the other was a light grey with darker grey shards but both were encircled by a deep black. It was unnatural.
James took a deep breath. He refused to judge his son by his appearance. He'd made enough mistakes by doing that. No, he'd love Harry no less than Michael.
"Welcome to the world my sons.'' He murmured softly.