3946: Beautiful Innocence - Alyssana Lilliana Charles
- The link of the day is Confessions of An Anti-Pedo Basil Fan.
- Flashback Sue
TITLE: Beautiful Innocence
PERPETRATOR: Nicole779
SUE-O-METER: Toxic
COVER/BANNER ART: The writer's avatar is a girl dressed in a long, white flowing dress.
SUMMARY:”Alyssana is thirteen years old. She had just moved to Previt Drive. On a trip alone to the park, she meets the Harry Potter. Harry is about to start his fith year at Hogwarts. What happends when she meets this famous wizard?”
FULL NAME: Alyssana Lilliana Charles (what a mouthful)
SPECIES: Half-Veela, adopted, transfer from Beaxbatons, half-werewolf, daughter of Regulus Black, but everyone thinks it is Sirius Black
HAIR: “silvery blond hair”
EYES: “bright, blue eyes”
MARKINGS: “She had curves that models would kill for, and white, creamy skin. She had soft looking, pinks lips, high cheekbones, long lashes, and thin eyebrows.”
POSSESSIONS: “She wore a blue shirt, a pink shirt, black leggings, and a white cardigan with a gold locket and black flats.” She has a bag dedicated just to candy. She also has an mp3 player with speakers. “She hooked them up and powered the speakers using a spell she had invented.” she also “switched the music to the FM radio.”
CONNECTION TO CANON: She moves to Previt Drive, and meets Harry. Later on Dudley flits with her. They bond over not having their real parents, and she way to cheerfully asks if she's his friend. “Harry jumped started at her mood swings.” In chapter two they meet up again on the train. Ron thinks she's a Veela because she is so beautiful. She says Harry is as sane as she is. She changes into a werewolf in chapter three passes out from the blood loss, and then after wards “skipped up to Harry Potter and his friends with a bright smile on her face.” Some random character named Jason takes her on a date, and the main characters are forgotten about. In the sixth chapter she and Harry kiss despite the fact they barely know each other. Chapter seven, we remember it was dark in the cave.
ORIGIN: The Sue is supposed to be thirteen, but acts like she's five. We find out she was adopted when she was eight. She's also sorted into Ravenclaw. She was Regulus Black's daughter because “he's dead”. Sorry, but it should still be is, as the fact he's her father does not change with his death.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: I'm guessing the Suethor was trying to go with a character who has mood swings so that she can act whatever way the Suethor wants them to, and get away with it, but not only is the character unrealistic, the behavior is really off putting. I mean, she's telling a fifteen year old “we're going to have sleepovers, roas marshmallows, and accidentally burn down a house.” We also get, “A demonic part of her thoughts showed up like they usually do around this time of the month, and she wasn't thinking about her period. It thirst for a kill. Alyssa is a half a werewolf.”
NOTES: The story is a poor attempt at doing a character with an ADHD.
SAMPLE:
"I like your scar," she said out of the blue that it startled Harry. He self-consciously lifted a hand to his forehead and touched the lightening shaped scar.
"Thanks," he said hesitantly. She began to swing her kegs slightly. That's when Harry noticed how short she was. She was around five feet. She did look around his age too a little bit younger though. Then, he looked Alyssana up and down.
She was very beautiful. She had silvery blond hair and bright, blue eyes. She had curves that models would kill for, and white, creamy skin. She had soft looking, pinks lips, high cheekbones, long lashes, and thin eyebrows. She wore a blue shirt, a pink shirt, black leggings, and a white cardigan with a gold locket and black flats. "Tell me about yourself, Harry Potter!" she demanded. He looked startled at first, though he ignored her demand.
"How old are you?" he asked. Alyssa looked at him strangely but told him she was thirteen. He seemed surprised, but he told her he was almost fifteen.
"What time is it?" she asked him seeing as he had a watch on. He glanced at his watch and told her the time. She jumped out of the swing mid-flight and landed perfectly on her feet.
"I gotta go!" she exclaimed and began running away. She tuned to look at him and waved bye.
- Flashback Sue
TITLE: Beautiful Innocence
PERPETRATOR: Nicole779
SUE-O-METER: Toxic
COVER/BANNER ART: The writer's avatar is a girl dressed in a long, white flowing dress.
SUMMARY:”Alyssana is thirteen years old. She had just moved to Previt Drive. On a trip alone to the park, she meets the Harry Potter. Harry is about to start his fith year at Hogwarts. What happends when she meets this famous wizard?”
FULL NAME: Alyssana Lilliana Charles (what a mouthful)
SPECIES: Half-Veela, adopted, transfer from Beaxbatons, half-werewolf, daughter of Regulus Black, but everyone thinks it is Sirius Black
HAIR: “silvery blond hair”
EYES: “bright, blue eyes”
MARKINGS: “She had curves that models would kill for, and white, creamy skin. She had soft looking, pinks lips, high cheekbones, long lashes, and thin eyebrows.”
POSSESSIONS: “She wore a blue shirt, a pink shirt, black leggings, and a white cardigan with a gold locket and black flats.” She has a bag dedicated just to candy. She also has an mp3 player with speakers. “She hooked them up and powered the speakers using a spell she had invented.” she also “switched the music to the FM radio.”
CONNECTION TO CANON: She moves to Previt Drive, and meets Harry. Later on Dudley flits with her. They bond over not having their real parents, and she way to cheerfully asks if she's his friend. “Harry jumped started at her mood swings.” In chapter two they meet up again on the train. Ron thinks she's a Veela because she is so beautiful. She says Harry is as sane as she is. She changes into a werewolf in chapter three passes out from the blood loss, and then after wards “skipped up to Harry Potter and his friends with a bright smile on her face.” Some random character named Jason takes her on a date, and the main characters are forgotten about. In the sixth chapter she and Harry kiss despite the fact they barely know each other. Chapter seven, we remember it was dark in the cave.
ORIGIN: The Sue is supposed to be thirteen, but acts like she's five. We find out she was adopted when she was eight. She's also sorted into Ravenclaw. She was Regulus Black's daughter because “he's dead”. Sorry, but it should still be is, as the fact he's her father does not change with his death.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: I'm guessing the Suethor was trying to go with a character who has mood swings so that she can act whatever way the Suethor wants them to, and get away with it, but not only is the character unrealistic, the behavior is really off putting. I mean, she's telling a fifteen year old “we're going to have sleepovers, roas marshmallows, and accidentally burn down a house.” We also get, “A demonic part of her thoughts showed up like they usually do around this time of the month, and she wasn't thinking about her period. It thirst for a kill. Alyssa is a half a werewolf.”
NOTES: The story is a poor attempt at doing a character with an ADHD.
SAMPLE:
"I like your scar," she said out of the blue that it startled Harry. He self-consciously lifted a hand to his forehead and touched the lightening shaped scar.
"Thanks," he said hesitantly. She began to swing her kegs slightly. That's when Harry noticed how short she was. She was around five feet. She did look around his age too a little bit younger though. Then, he looked Alyssana up and down.
She was very beautiful. She had silvery blond hair and bright, blue eyes. She had curves that models would kill for, and white, creamy skin. She had soft looking, pinks lips, high cheekbones, long lashes, and thin eyebrows. She wore a blue shirt, a pink shirt, black leggings, and a white cardigan with a gold locket and black flats. "Tell me about yourself, Harry Potter!" she demanded. He looked startled at first, though he ignored her demand.
"How old are you?" he asked. Alyssa looked at him strangely but told him she was thirteen. He seemed surprised, but he told her he was almost fifteen.
"What time is it?" she asked him seeing as he had a watch on. He glanced at his watch and told her the time. She jumped out of the swing mid-flight and landed perfectly on her feet.
"I gotta go!" she exclaimed and began running away. She tuned to look at him and waved bye.