3632: Beautiful Control - Evelyn Greyarc
- The link of the day is marysuefacepalm, a twitter account which finds Sues.
- Flashback Sue
TITLE: Beautiful Control
PERPETRATOR: LaFay97
SUE-O-METER: Toxic, big time
COVER/BANNER ART: Egads. “sometimes the shards of two broken hearts fit together perfectly” I think... so, we've got the woods in the background, one side blue, the other orange, the title splashed on top. Then we've got the Sue in shadow, and down below the poem cut off. It's as bad as the fic.
SUMMARY:”Evelyn Greyarc has a dark destiny that could lead to the rise or fall of the Dark Lord. To ensure the light succeeds, she must be dragged into the pits of hell and risk her life and sanity. But strange magic has surfaced and Evelyn knows she can rely on only one; Severus Snape. The two find solace in each other. This is war, and someone has to pay the price.”
FULL NAME: Evelyn Greyarc
SPECIES: Godmode Sue
HAIR: “Her inky black hair cascaded over folded body.”
EYES: “Her eyes, one a silvery blue, and the other honey brown looked at him in surprise.”
MARKINGS: “Her pale face was sunken and dirty.” Also, “ Angry red marks covered her arms and legs, as though she had been picking at her skin. Which is exactly what it was. Her breaths were erratic and sharp, she trembled slightly from cold. Due to the fear stigma around her, the Orphanage barely fed her, didn't clothe her like they should.”
POSSESSIONS:
CONNECTION TO CANON: Dumbledore rescues our Sue from the orphanage in chapter one. Remus gets to take her in, and she gets a hot bath, not to mention she's completely comfortable around him despite all of the abuse that's gone on. (Oh, and the fact he's a werewolf has been forgotten!) Chapter two we find her on the train, and that she is in Ravenclaw. Randomly she gets detention in the woods from Snape. Chapter three, more detention. Chapter four, she conveniently show up and starts lecturing Harry and company about trolls, and how to properly use the spell. (You've got to be kidding me. Oh, and I've had enough, as the writer can't be bothered to format their story properly.
ORIGIN: Says the author's note in the first chapter, which is the third thing I read for this story - first the summary, then the reviews - “A/N: So, I've started this story and it's actually very close to my heart. I'm going to warn you all before you start however that this will not be a nice story, our heroine will have to go through some truly gruelling tasks, both out and inside of her mind. This story may be a trigger for a variety of things. It explores a couple mental illness' though they are not the main train of this story. This is a slow growing Romance, so please be patient! Later chapters will have themes of BDSM, though not 50 shades style, this one will be more intimate and very consensual. Warnings: Abuse, Depression, Eating Disorders, Self Harm, Dark Themes and any others that pop up along the way.” Also, haven't we discussed whether there were orphanages in Great Britian at this point in time, and decided based on research there weren't? Even if there were, no way they would be as bad as the writer makes them out.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She has a prophesy which reads, “The girl born of Two Spirits shall one day be the downfall or rise of Darkness. / A harmonised body to give and take life / two sides of a mind / one heart.” Forth thing I read, and - wow, this is bad, not to mention already at the Toxic rating. The Sue isn't yet eleven, and she's already self harming herself. (Really?) Also, “sudden bright lights can hurt my blue eye, sir,” and she doesn't talk like someone her age. What ever that actually is.
NOTES: All of the writer's stories contain an OC except for a one-shot slash piece. A lot of them also involve the OC saving the world. I also took a glance at the reviews before I started, and find a review saying the Sue gets raped in chapter 34, that she gets her name drawn in chapter 21, that we likely have a manipulative Dumbledore in chapter 17, she's protective of the Dark Lord, chapter 31, a review for chapter 23, saying “too bad that snape is not her escort to the ball. But he could be her special for mermaids to take” - which makes me realize this is another teacher/student story before getting into the story. Also, some review asking “so she is some kind of phoenix but in human form?” in chapter 10. I'VE NOT EVEN STARTED READING THE STORY PEOPLE, AND I'VE ALREADY DREDGED UP THIS MUCH!
SAMPLE:
Silence was all that could be heard at the Orphanage. On the outside it was unassuming, however, on the inside fear gripped the children and staff alike. It wasn't an outspoken, or a realistic fear. It was one of uncertainty. Fear of the unknown. Fear of a girl named Evelyn Greyarc. A girl who feared herself just as much as everyone else.
The small girl sat in the corner of her falsely bright room, a stark contrast to her own pale form. Her inky black hair cascaded over folded body. Angry red marks covered her arms and legs, as though she had been picking at her skin. Which is exactly what it was. Her breaths were erratic and sharp, she trembled slightly from cold. Due to the fear stigma around her, the Orphanage barely fed her, didn't clothe her like they should.
Outside the Orphanage, a man in long robes approached the door. His white beard and hair stood out in contrast to his dark blue robes. Half moon glasses sat upon a crooked nose and bright blue eyes shone from behind them. A small smile rested on his old lips. The strange old man knocked on the large wooden doors and patiently waited. Within a few seconds the door opened, revealing a tired looking Matron. Her faded red hair pulled back into a bun, white streaks shot out from her temples. Her brown eyes had heavy bags beneath them. Her expression was stern and vicious as she looked to the older man.
"Can I help you?" she asked in a snappish voice. The man smiled politely.
"Yes, I am Professor Albus Dumbledore and I have come to inquire about a position in my school for one of the children here."
"Oh? Which one?" She asked, resting her hand on her plump hip.
"A miss Evelyn Greyarc," Albus replied kindly.
"Oh, must be a crazy school. To be honest, we'll be happy to be rid of her. Follow me, I'll take you to her, but keep a distance...she bites." Albus frowned, but otherwise followed the nasty woman.
They walked through the silent halls, every step of the way, Albus was feeling less optimistic and more appalled at the state of the Orphanage. They eventually reached a room at the back of the building, one that had a rusted deadbolt on the outside. The Matron unlocked the door and carefully pushed in open, making the hall echo with the screeching of it's hinges.
"At your own leisure," she sneered and turned away, not wanting to be anywhere near the crazy girl. Albus lightly stepped into the room, looking around for the girl in questions. There was a small cot that looked like it had holes in it, stuffing coming out al over the place, a scratchy looking blanket was all that dressed it. A small set of drawers and a wardrobe without a door. Glass shattered on the ground where a mirror used to be. His eyes finally fell on a form in the corner. The tiny girl was curled in on herself, seemingly hiding in her hair. He couldn't see from where he was, but she was doing something strange with her hands and arms.
The old professor approached the girl.
"Hello, Evelyn," he spoke as calmly as he could. The girl stopped her strange movements and looked up slowly. Her eyes, one a silvery blue, and the other honey brown looked at him in surprise. Her pale face was sunken and dirty.
"My name is Professor Albus Dumbledore, I run a school for people like you," he told her. Evelyn cocked her head.
"For freaks?" she asked. Not with malice, or bitterness, just fact.
"No, for Witches and Wizards." She frowned at the old man. "I would very much like it if you would come to this school. You will be taken care of there," he added, taking pity on her skinny body. She gave a small smile.
"I am a witch?"
"That's right."
"Will I be burnt?" Albus blinked in surprise.
"No. At this school you will learn how to use magic. You'll be around people just like you." Evelyn smiled, looking down at the ground.
"I think I would like to go..." she told him quietly.
"First things first, you need to leave this place. I will take you to somewhere you can stay for the next seven years when you're not at school." He held out his hand to the girl. She stared at it in confusion, before going with her instincts and delicately placing her hand into his.
- Flashback Sue
TITLE: Beautiful Control
PERPETRATOR: LaFay97
SUE-O-METER: Toxic, big time
COVER/BANNER ART: Egads. “sometimes the shards of two broken hearts fit together perfectly” I think... so, we've got the woods in the background, one side blue, the other orange, the title splashed on top. Then we've got the Sue in shadow, and down below the poem cut off. It's as bad as the fic.
SUMMARY:”Evelyn Greyarc has a dark destiny that could lead to the rise or fall of the Dark Lord. To ensure the light succeeds, she must be dragged into the pits of hell and risk her life and sanity. But strange magic has surfaced and Evelyn knows she can rely on only one; Severus Snape. The two find solace in each other. This is war, and someone has to pay the price.”
FULL NAME: Evelyn Greyarc
SPECIES: Godmode Sue
HAIR: “Her inky black hair cascaded over folded body.”
EYES: “Her eyes, one a silvery blue, and the other honey brown looked at him in surprise.”
MARKINGS: “Her pale face was sunken and dirty.” Also, “ Angry red marks covered her arms and legs, as though she had been picking at her skin. Which is exactly what it was. Her breaths were erratic and sharp, she trembled slightly from cold. Due to the fear stigma around her, the Orphanage barely fed her, didn't clothe her like they should.”
POSSESSIONS:
CONNECTION TO CANON: Dumbledore rescues our Sue from the orphanage in chapter one. Remus gets to take her in, and she gets a hot bath, not to mention she's completely comfortable around him despite all of the abuse that's gone on. (Oh, and the fact he's a werewolf has been forgotten!) Chapter two we find her on the train, and that she is in Ravenclaw. Randomly she gets detention in the woods from Snape. Chapter three, more detention. Chapter four, she conveniently show up and starts lecturing Harry and company about trolls, and how to properly use the spell. (You've got to be kidding me. Oh, and I've had enough, as the writer can't be bothered to format their story properly.
ORIGIN: Says the author's note in the first chapter, which is the third thing I read for this story - first the summary, then the reviews - “A/N: So, I've started this story and it's actually very close to my heart. I'm going to warn you all before you start however that this will not be a nice story, our heroine will have to go through some truly gruelling tasks, both out and inside of her mind. This story may be a trigger for a variety of things. It explores a couple mental illness' though they are not the main train of this story. This is a slow growing Romance, so please be patient! Later chapters will have themes of BDSM, though not 50 shades style, this one will be more intimate and very consensual. Warnings: Abuse, Depression, Eating Disorders, Self Harm, Dark Themes and any others that pop up along the way.” Also, haven't we discussed whether there were orphanages in Great Britian at this point in time, and decided based on research there weren't? Even if there were, no way they would be as bad as the writer makes them out.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She has a prophesy which reads, “The girl born of Two Spirits shall one day be the downfall or rise of Darkness. / A harmonised body to give and take life / two sides of a mind / one heart.” Forth thing I read, and - wow, this is bad, not to mention already at the Toxic rating. The Sue isn't yet eleven, and she's already self harming herself. (Really?) Also, “sudden bright lights can hurt my blue eye, sir,” and she doesn't talk like someone her age. What ever that actually is.
NOTES: All of the writer's stories contain an OC except for a one-shot slash piece. A lot of them also involve the OC saving the world. I also took a glance at the reviews before I started, and find a review saying the Sue gets raped in chapter 34, that she gets her name drawn in chapter 21, that we likely have a manipulative Dumbledore in chapter 17, she's protective of the Dark Lord, chapter 31, a review for chapter 23, saying “too bad that snape is not her escort to the ball. But he could be her special for mermaids to take” - which makes me realize this is another teacher/student story before getting into the story. Also, some review asking “so she is some kind of phoenix but in human form?” in chapter 10. I'VE NOT EVEN STARTED READING THE STORY PEOPLE, AND I'VE ALREADY DREDGED UP THIS MUCH!
SAMPLE:
Silence was all that could be heard at the Orphanage. On the outside it was unassuming, however, on the inside fear gripped the children and staff alike. It wasn't an outspoken, or a realistic fear. It was one of uncertainty. Fear of the unknown. Fear of a girl named Evelyn Greyarc. A girl who feared herself just as much as everyone else.
The small girl sat in the corner of her falsely bright room, a stark contrast to her own pale form. Her inky black hair cascaded over folded body. Angry red marks covered her arms and legs, as though she had been picking at her skin. Which is exactly what it was. Her breaths were erratic and sharp, she trembled slightly from cold. Due to the fear stigma around her, the Orphanage barely fed her, didn't clothe her like they should.
Outside the Orphanage, a man in long robes approached the door. His white beard and hair stood out in contrast to his dark blue robes. Half moon glasses sat upon a crooked nose and bright blue eyes shone from behind them. A small smile rested on his old lips. The strange old man knocked on the large wooden doors and patiently waited. Within a few seconds the door opened, revealing a tired looking Matron. Her faded red hair pulled back into a bun, white streaks shot out from her temples. Her brown eyes had heavy bags beneath them. Her expression was stern and vicious as she looked to the older man.
"Can I help you?" she asked in a snappish voice. The man smiled politely.
"Yes, I am Professor Albus Dumbledore and I have come to inquire about a position in my school for one of the children here."
"Oh? Which one?" She asked, resting her hand on her plump hip.
"A miss Evelyn Greyarc," Albus replied kindly.
"Oh, must be a crazy school. To be honest, we'll be happy to be rid of her. Follow me, I'll take you to her, but keep a distance...she bites." Albus frowned, but otherwise followed the nasty woman.
They walked through the silent halls, every step of the way, Albus was feeling less optimistic and more appalled at the state of the Orphanage. They eventually reached a room at the back of the building, one that had a rusted deadbolt on the outside. The Matron unlocked the door and carefully pushed in open, making the hall echo with the screeching of it's hinges.
"At your own leisure," she sneered and turned away, not wanting to be anywhere near the crazy girl. Albus lightly stepped into the room, looking around for the girl in questions. There was a small cot that looked like it had holes in it, stuffing coming out al over the place, a scratchy looking blanket was all that dressed it. A small set of drawers and a wardrobe without a door. Glass shattered on the ground where a mirror used to be. His eyes finally fell on a form in the corner. The tiny girl was curled in on herself, seemingly hiding in her hair. He couldn't see from where he was, but she was doing something strange with her hands and arms.
The old professor approached the girl.
"Hello, Evelyn," he spoke as calmly as he could. The girl stopped her strange movements and looked up slowly. Her eyes, one a silvery blue, and the other honey brown looked at him in surprise. Her pale face was sunken and dirty.
"My name is Professor Albus Dumbledore, I run a school for people like you," he told her. Evelyn cocked her head.
"For freaks?" she asked. Not with malice, or bitterness, just fact.
"No, for Witches and Wizards." She frowned at the old man. "I would very much like it if you would come to this school. You will be taken care of there," he added, taking pity on her skinny body. She gave a small smile.
"I am a witch?"
"That's right."
"Will I be burnt?" Albus blinked in surprise.
"No. At this school you will learn how to use magic. You'll be around people just like you." Evelyn smiled, looking down at the ground.
"I think I would like to go..." she told him quietly.
"First things first, you need to leave this place. I will take you to somewhere you can stay for the next seven years when you're not at school." He held out his hand to the girl. She stared at it in confusion, before going with her instincts and delicately placing her hand into his.