(no subject)
today was mixed for sure. i was all pumped to go back to ballet. and i got there, and waited an hour. class should have started at 4:30. normally people are definitely there by 4:15. no one showed up. so i left at 5. kinda annoyed cuz its half an hour away. but whatever. i found my copies of all 7 chronicals of narnia under my bed. i havent read them, new i had them and randomly over winter break wanted to read them. and now i can. actually i almost finished the first book in under 2 hours. then katherine came over and we watched return of the jedi. oooh star wars. the originals will always be the best.
ive been doing a lot of thinking lately cuz ive had nothing else to do. and ive realized how long it really takes me to trust and be comfortable with people. its why i make the decisions i do. course its always been pretty subconscious. but i understand why i do things better now. there are few people i really trust and really feel 'at home' around. it takes such a long time and so many trials for people to get there. then, with one it took nothing. that person has tried that trust time and time again. but i know them better than they know themselves. they ALWAYS come back. it would just be nice if they hung around once in a while. didnt make the same bad decision over and over again.
we always choose the wrong people to put ourselves into.
and we rarely see who is going to be there every step of the way, who's really someone to...look to.
ive been doing a lot of thinking lately cuz ive had nothing else to do. and ive realized how long it really takes me to trust and be comfortable with people. its why i make the decisions i do. course its always been pretty subconscious. but i understand why i do things better now. there are few people i really trust and really feel 'at home' around. it takes such a long time and so many trials for people to get there. then, with one it took nothing. that person has tried that trust time and time again. but i know them better than they know themselves. they ALWAYS come back. it would just be nice if they hung around once in a while. didnt make the same bad decision over and over again.
we always choose the wrong people to put ourselves into.
and we rarely see who is going to be there every step of the way, who's really someone to...look to.