Finally!...I'm NOT crazy!
I had deleted this diary because I thought Joe and I were back together and I honestly thought that he was "in love" with me still. So, I wanted to make him feel special and appeciated by getting rid of all the negative insecure entries about him. I was honestly going to do whatever it took to be with him again...because i love him and for the baby's sake. But, here is why I cannot.
**Pay CLOSE attention to the BOLD areas....
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Britney (1/30/06 5:14:14 PM): FYI on that one.... he referred to you as his ex when i talked to him this morning
Britney (1/30/06 5:14:37 PM): and I don't want to cause drama between you two, but I really think you deserve better
Elaina (1/30/06 5:14:49 PM): all i know is he is confusing me to death
Elaina (1/30/06 5:14:59 PM): one day he says he loves me the next he doesnt want to even hear it from my mouth
Elaina (1/30/06 5:15:35 PM): the day he tells me he loves me he is all i miss you etc....then the next day he just is all distant like i have a problem
Elaina (1/30/06 5:16:01 PM): i told him on the phone that what he was doing to me was killing me emotionally that he really needed to stop telling me that he loves me if he doesnt want me
Elaina (1/30/06 5:16:08 PM): and i have told him that for weeks now
Elaina (1/30/06 5:16:28 PM): but....he got online last night after that convo and told me he loved me and wanted me back
Elaina (1/30/06 5:16:36 PM): i was sure it was over....so i am lost
Britney (1/30/06 5:17:05 PM): I dont know what to tell you, but if he's travelling to another city to see another girl, i think that is cause for concern
Elaina (1/30/06 5:17:24 PM): he says i am paranoid and its creepy and psychotic if i am insecure about iola
Elaina (1/30/06 7:43:19 PM): i sent u an email of the conversation we just had about him wanting iola as a roomate, while he is dating me
Elaina (1/30/06 7:43:32 PM): to show u what he expects me to deal with and not be jealous
Britney (1/30/06 7:43:58 PM): ok, just so you know though... i think you have every right to be jealous
Elaina (1/30/06 7:44:29 PM): he actually called me psychotically jealous on the phone before we starting dating again
Britney (1/30/06 7:45:00 PM): hun, i think your crazy to stay with him
Elaina (1/30/06 7:45:31 PM): out of curiousity....how did he talk about me...before he knew u emailed me?
Britney (1/30/06 7:46:38 PM): he didn't ever talk about you.... he never even really talked about the baby
Britney (1/30/06 7:46:46 PM): thats the thing that causes a lot of worry for me
Britney (1/30/06 7:47:11 PM): and my guess would be that he is going to let her move in with him, and tell you otherwise
Elaina (1/30/06 7:48:01 PM): then why did he even take me back?
Elaina (1/30/06 7:48:05 PM): he confuses me so much
Elaina (1/30/06 7:48:11 PM): why yoyo me if he wants her
Britney (1/30/06 7:48:47 PM): he feels less guilt if he convinces you that you are still dating
Elaina (1/30/06 7:49:22 PM): he already tells me things that i would never have known if he hadnt told me...so why tell me?
Elaina (1/30/06 7:49:37 PM): i mean....if he wanted me to think we were together and be happy....why tell me these things?
Britney (1/30/06 7:49:59 PM): he's bragging, he wants you to know exactly what you can't have
Britney (1/30/06 7:50:12 PM): guys are horrible little creatures
Elaina (1/30/06 7:50:22 PM): ugh....
Elaina (1/30/06 7:50:30 PM): and i keep giving him my trust
Elaina (1/30/06 7:50:35 PM): hoping that he wont want to hurt me
Britney (1/30/06 7:51:07 PM): hun, he will
Britney (1/30/06 7:51:10 PM): that's what they do
Britney (1/30/06 7:51:27 PM): and im very sure that he is still seeing iola
Elaina (1/30/06 7:51:30 PM): when i met him....none of my family or i would have ever dreamed he would do this to me
Britney (1/30/06 7:51:44 PM): indeed, he seems like a good kid
Elaina (1/30/06 7:51:56 PM): i mean he met my family
Elaina (1/30/06 7:52:01 PM): we were engaged!
Britney (1/30/06 7:52:17 PM): i dont believe he ever mentioned that
Britney (1/30/06 7:52:30 PM): has he ever sent you anything to support you with the baby?
Elaina (1/30/06 7:52:39 PM): no
Elaina (1/30/06 7:53:03 PM): in fact he usually only asks about the baby when i finally decide i dont want to hear from him anymore...and he uses the baby as an excuse to talk to me again
Elaina (1/30/06 7:53:10 PM): and then i feel guilty....
Britney (1/30/06 7:53:19 PM): oh hun..
Britney (1/30/06 7:53:40 PM): i really really don't like this
Elaina (1/30/06 7:53:47 PM): tell me about it
Elaina (1/30/06 7:54:14 PM): when i first saw that someone on his buddy list had emailed me...i was prepared to hear an earful of whatever he told them about me
Elaina (1/30/06 7:54:32 PM): i have no idea what his faimly thinks of me
Elaina (1/30/06 7:54:36 PM): i never met any of them
Britney (1/30/06 7:55:00 PM): i tend to look deeper into the situation when someone talks bad about someone else... i too have a HORRIBLE ex
Britney (1/30/06 7:55:04 PM): so I know how people can be
Britney (1/30/06 7:55:12 PM): but he didn't say anything bad about you
Elaina (1/30/06 7:55:18 PM): did he try to flirt with u....be honest...
Britney (1/30/06 7:55:22 PM): yes
Elaina (1/30/06 7:55:42 PM): u know....we were engaged only 2 months ago
Elaina (1/30/06 7:55:50 PM): and he cant see why i am so upset
Elaina (1/30/06 7:56:04 PM): i am not upset with u
Britney (1/30/06 7:56:08 PM): he didnt mention that
Elaina (1/30/06 7:56:22 PM): i mean a girl cant help what a guy doesnt tell her
Britney (1/30/06 7:56:38 PM): I was NEVER interested in him like that
Elaina (1/30/06 7:57:09 PM): it wouldnt matter if u ever were honestly...i still wouldnt be upset at u cause u are an inocent party
Elaina (1/30/06 7:57:28 PM): like i said u cant help what he didnt tellu
Elaina (1/30/06 7:58:03 PM): how long has he known u...like how long ago did he start flirting?
Britney (1/30/06 7:58:54 PM): oh ive only known him for a couple weeks, but the first time i talked to him online he was very sure to make it known that he is well endowed... i found that to be a bit taky
Elaina (1/30/06 7:59:30 PM): sadly....even though i know u wouldnt make that up....he was never like that with me....
Elaina (1/30/06 7:59:43 PM): its like he is a completely different guy
Britney (1/30/06 7:59:52 PM): and maybe he is
Elaina (1/30/06 7:59:58 PM): and i am the one who filled his head with how big he was
Elaina (1/30/06 8:00:01 PM): but anyways
Britney (1/30/06 8:00:26 PM): he was very full of himself on that idea
Elaina (1/30/06 8:00:40 PM): how on earth did he bring it up?
Britney (1/30/06 8:01:17 PM): i don't even remember how it started... it was one of those things that just kinda came outta no where
Elaina (1/30/06 8:01:45 PM): when i told him that u emailed me...he instantly called me...and started explaining your friendship
Elaina (1/30/06 8:01:49 PM): to make sure i wasnt jealous
Elaina (1/30/06 8:02:04 PM): i was like...joe....she told me u were just freinds
Britney (1/30/06 8:02:20 PM): so tell me... why do you stay with him?
Elaina (1/30/06 8:02:41 PM): because i honestly didnt know what he was saying to other girls online
Elaina (1/30/06 8:02:48 PM): he would always close his laptop so i couldtn see
Elaina (1/30/06 8:02:56 PM): then get mad at me and call me paranoid
Elaina (1/30/06 8:03:00 PM): and i beleived him
Britney (1/30/06 8:03:20 PM): dont trust guys who insist on hiding things
Britney (1/30/06 8:03:26 PM): they are hiding things for a reason
Elaina (1/30/06 8:04:03 PM): i know he wants iola...i am not stupid...he admitted it to me once then tried to recant his statement when i wouldnt take any of his calls, messages on yahoo, or emails
Elaina (1/30/06 8:04:21 PM): and called me crazy for being jealous and thinking such a thing
Britney (1/30/06 8:05:05 PM): brb sorry
Elaina (1/30/06 8:05:07 PM): i mean shoot he told me...according to him...that she held his hand and admits to letting her...that she kissed him but swears he didnt kiss back....
Elaina (1/30/06 8:05:10 PM): ok
Britney (1/30/06 8:06:51 PM): he did, he told me all aboutit
Elaina (1/30/06 8:07:07 PM): what version did he tellu/
Elaina (1/30/06 8:07:08 PM): ?
Britney (1/30/06 8:07:48 PM): just that they had kissed and then he asked her if they were dating now and she said yes... my heavens i feel like i should be back in middle school.. im sorry but he is very very immature
Elaina (1/30/06 8:08:03 PM): he told me they werent dating
Elaina (1/30/06 8:08:07 PM): he swore to it
Britney (1/30/06 8:08:14 PM): he told me that they are
Elaina (1/30/06 8:08:43 PM): please send me the conversation in an email....so he cant accuse me of being paranoid and psycho for accusing him
Britney (1/30/06 8:08:57 PM): i dont know if i saved it
Elaina (1/30/06 8:09:00 PM): i cant beleive he is doing this to me
Elaina (1/30/06 8:09:21 PM): he has lied to me so much
Elaina (1/30/06 8:09:24 PM): i feel so stupid
Britney (1/30/06 8:09:57 PM): i don't have it saved, im sorry
Britney (1/30/06 8:10:04 PM): but I promise that I would not lie to you
Elaina (1/30/06 8:10:13 PM): i know u have nothing to gain from lying
Elaina (1/30/06 8:10:15 PM): he does
Britney (1/30/06 8:10:20 PM): ok
Britney (1/30/06 8:10:46 PM): and I am not going to have any further communication with him
Elaina (1/30/06 8:10:50 PM): u know his timing on taking me back....
Elaina (1/30/06 8:11:14 PM): as soon as i told him that if he didnt know if he wanted me back that he had better get a hotel room cause he wasnt sleeping in my house
Elaina (1/30/06 8:11:33 PM): for the baby's birth that is
Britney (1/30/06 8:11:49 PM): indeed, your a quaranteed booty call
Elaina (1/30/06 8:11:55 PM): not anymore
Elaina (1/30/06 8:12:10 PM): u have no idea how greatful i am that i met u
Elaina (1/30/06 8:12:32 PM): i have felt like i was crazy cause i had no proof of anything i suspected
Britney (1/30/06 8:12:36 PM): im glad too, as long as you don't put up with his trash anymore
Elaina (1/30/06 8:12:50 PM): no...he has lied to me for the last time
Britney (1/30/06 8:12:57 PM): good
Elaina (1/30/06 8:13:00 PM): i am sure iola doesnt even know how he talks to me
Britney (1/30/06 8:13:06 PM): and feel free to tell him that you heard it all from me
Elaina (1/30/06 8:13:13 PM): i am 100% certain she doesnt know he tells me he loves me
Britney (1/30/06 8:13:24 PM): oh im sure he doesnt
Britney (1/30/06 8:13:37 PM): she wouldnt want him if she knew how he treated you
Elaina (1/30/06 8:13:51 PM): she is suicidal....in a mental hospital suicidal
Elaina (1/30/06 8:13:59 PM): he shouldnt have done this to her
Elaina (1/30/06 8:14:02 PM): of all people
Britney (1/30/06 8:14:06 PM): i knew she was in warm springs but he wouldnt tell me why
Elaina (1/30/06 8:14:32 PM): he called me...while he was still in warm springs visiting her
Elaina (1/30/06 8:14:35 PM): during that visit
Elaina (1/30/06 8:14:40 PM): to tell me that he loved me
Britney (1/30/06 8:14:49 PM): thats horrible
Elaina (1/30/06 8:14:53 PM): tell me about it
Elaina (1/30/06 8:15:00 PM): ooo he is so not the joe i thought he was
Elaina (1/30/06 8:15:05 PM): or i wouldnt have hung on this long
Britney (1/30/06 8:15:56 PM): don't take this the wrong way... but what really attracted you to him in the first place? Call me shallow but he's really not much to look at, he has HORRIBLE teeth, and he has a really bad stutter
Elaina (1/30/06 8:16:22 PM): i met him online...and he was so sweet he swept even my mom off her feet
Britney (1/30/06 8:16:25 PM): and I've seen pics of you, your very very pretty
Britney (1/30/06 8:16:31 PM): oh
Elaina (1/30/06 8:16:40 PM): we met after two months of chatting
Elaina (1/30/06 8:16:44 PM): he was never vulgar with me
Elaina (1/30/06 8:16:48 PM): because i am a christian
Britney (1/30/06 8:16:56 PM): ah
Elaina (1/30/06 8:16:57 PM): he even swore he was a virgin when i met him
Britney (1/30/06 8:16:57 PM): i see
Britney (1/30/06 8:17:04 PM): interesting
Elaina (1/30/06 8:17:14 PM): which....with his stutter...and stuff....wasnt hard to beleive
Britney (1/30/06 8:17:22 PM): true
Elaina (1/30/06 8:17:26 PM): but it took him only 2 weeks to bed me......God forgive me
Britney (1/30/06 8:17:35 PM): but, he told me he has slept with 2 people
Britney (1/30/06 8:17:43 PM): so there was either one before you, or one after
Elaina (1/30/06 8:17:51 PM): omg....
Elaina (1/30/06 8:17:55 PM): if he wasnt lying to me
Britney (1/30/06 8:18:03 PM): ??
Elaina (1/30/06 8:18:10 PM): if he wasnt lying to me about being a virgin
Britney (1/30/06 8:18:15 PM): oh
Elaina (1/30/06 8:18:15 PM): he has to have slept with iola
Elaina (1/30/06 8:18:21 PM): or someone between us
Britney (1/30/06 8:18:43 PM): if it was iola, it had to have been before she went to warm springs
Elaina (1/30/06 8:18:58 PM): ok...then it was new years eve
Elaina (1/30/06 8:19:07 PM): the night he swears he didnt do anythign with anyone
Elaina (1/30/06 8:19:13 PM): but he reeked of guilt
Elaina (1/30/06 8:19:17 PM): and cursed me out
Elaina (1/30/06 8:19:20 PM): with the F word
Britney (1/30/06 8:19:24 PM): what, why?
Elaina (1/30/06 8:19:25 PM): whcih he had never used on me before
Elaina (1/30/06 8:19:37 PM): simply because i asked what he did for new years
Britney (1/30/06 8:19:46 PM): yeah, thats guilt
Elaina (1/30/06 8:21:32 PM): i cant beleive he is still lying to me
Elaina (1/30/06 8:21:40 PM): after all the devotion i have shown him
Elaina (1/30/06 8:22:03 PM): i tell u what though....thank u
Elaina (1/30/06 8:22:12 PM): i have been trying to find the proof that i am not crazy
Britney (1/30/06 8:22:24 PM): you aren't
Britney (1/30/06 8:22:27 PM): i promise
Elaina (1/30/06 8:22:35 PM): a reason to let go...because i havent been able to convince myself to let go...since God forgives all sins
Elaina (1/30/06 8:22:48 PM): i tried to love him that way
Elaina (1/30/06 8:23:00 PM): man....why me? cause i am a sucker
Elaina (1/30/06 8:24:21 PM):i know u have no reason to lie to me
Elaina (1/30/06 8:24:27 PM): and i am so thankful for that
Britney (1/30/06 8:24:35 PM): you are welcome
Elaina (1/30/06 8:24:42 PM): joe has everything to lose by not lying to me
Britney (1/30/06 8:24:47 PM): I'm just glad i could help you before you moved out here to be with him
Elaina (1/30/06 8:25:21 PM): ooo he makes me mad
Britney (1/30/06 8:25:30 PM): i imagine so
Elaina (1/30/06 8:29:27 PM): no wonder he got upset over my blogs
Elaina (1/30/06 8:29:37 PM): how many other girls is he affraid to figure out who i am
Britney (1/30/06 8:29:54 PM): indeed
Elaina (1/30/06 8:29:59 PM): he doesnt want any of the others telling me what he is saying or doing
Elaina (1/30/06 8:30:19 PM): i knew that was fishy
Elaina (1/30/06 8:30:22 PM): i knew it i knew it
Britney (1/30/06 8:30:39 PM): and you were right, always trust your instinct
Elaina (1/30/06 8:30:52 PM): i needed a good enough excuse to let go of the love that i have for him....and now i finally have it
Britney (1/30/06 8:31:00 PM): good
Elaina (1/30/06 8:32:47 PM): sadly....
Elaina (1/30/06 8:32:56 PM): he either slept with a girl he barely knew after me
Elaina (1/30/06 8:32:59 PM): or a girl before me
Elaina (1/30/06 8:33:03 PM): and lied to me
Britney (1/30/06 8:33:15 PM): either way, he lied
Britney (1/30/06 8:33:21 PM): or withheld the truth
Elaina (1/30/06 8:33:24 PM): because we have only be apart for 2 months....and just got back together
Elaina (1/30/06 8:33:37 PM): been*
Britney (1/30/06 8:34:05 PM): do you know why he doesn't have contact with his family?
Elaina (1/30/06 8:34:44 PM): he does talk to his brother
Elaina (1/30/06 8:34:51 PM): and he does talk to his sister
Elaina (1/30/06 8:34:56 PM): his sister lives up there
Britney (1/30/06 8:35:01 PM): right
Elaina (1/30/06 8:35:02 PM): his brother lives in indiana
Elaina (1/30/06 8:35:06 PM): with his mom
Britney (1/30/06 8:35:30 PM): i think little mister joe dug himself a hole, if you ask me
Elaina (1/30/06 8:35:43 PM): did he tell u that he doesnt talk to his family?
Britney (1/30/06 8:35:47 PM): yes
Britney (1/30/06 8:35:59 PM): he said he talks to a half sister
Britney (1/30/06 8:36:01 PM): the one here
Elaina (1/30/06 8:36:04 PM): his twin brother just mailed him a bunch of games
Elaina (1/30/06 8:36:14 PM): i know he talks to him
Elaina (1/30/06 8:36:20 PM): he talked to him once a week when he was here
Britney (1/30/06 8:36:29 PM): hmm
Elaina (1/30/06 8:41:18 PM): so who cares really what he is doing
Elaina (1/30/06 8:41:21 PM): he better call me
Britney (1/30/06 8:41:37 PM): don't call him
Britney (1/30/06 8:41:49 PM): act uninterested, that will make him call
Elaina (1/30/06 8:45:03 PM): wow joe is just full of secrets and lies
Elaina (1/30/06 8:45:10 PM): i am flabbergasted
Elaina (1/30/06 8:45:22 PM): i feel so niave
Britney (1/30/06 8:45:24 PM): ugh, brb again baby is awake
Elaina (1/30/06 8:45:30 PM): no problem
**Pay CLOSE attention to the BOLD areas....
-----------------------------------------
Britney (1/30/06 5:14:14 PM): FYI on that one.... he referred to you as his ex when i talked to him this morning
Britney (1/30/06 5:14:37 PM): and I don't want to cause drama between you two, but I really think you deserve better
Elaina (1/30/06 5:14:49 PM): all i know is he is confusing me to death
Elaina (1/30/06 5:14:59 PM): one day he says he loves me the next he doesnt want to even hear it from my mouth
Elaina (1/30/06 5:15:35 PM): the day he tells me he loves me he is all i miss you etc....then the next day he just is all distant like i have a problem
Elaina (1/30/06 5:16:01 PM): i told him on the phone that what he was doing to me was killing me emotionally that he really needed to stop telling me that he loves me if he doesnt want me
Elaina (1/30/06 5:16:08 PM): and i have told him that for weeks now
Elaina (1/30/06 5:16:28 PM): but....he got online last night after that convo and told me he loved me and wanted me back
Elaina (1/30/06 5:16:36 PM): i was sure it was over....so i am lost
Britney (1/30/06 5:17:05 PM): I dont know what to tell you, but if he's travelling to another city to see another girl, i think that is cause for concern
Elaina (1/30/06 5:17:24 PM): he says i am paranoid and its creepy and psychotic if i am insecure about iola
Elaina (1/30/06 7:43:19 PM): i sent u an email of the conversation we just had about him wanting iola as a roomate, while he is dating me
Elaina (1/30/06 7:43:32 PM): to show u what he expects me to deal with and not be jealous
Britney (1/30/06 7:43:58 PM): ok, just so you know though... i think you have every right to be jealous
Elaina (1/30/06 7:44:29 PM): he actually called me psychotically jealous on the phone before we starting dating again
Britney (1/30/06 7:45:00 PM): hun, i think your crazy to stay with him
Elaina (1/30/06 7:45:31 PM): out of curiousity....how did he talk about me...before he knew u emailed me?
Britney (1/30/06 7:46:38 PM): he didn't ever talk about you.... he never even really talked about the baby
Britney (1/30/06 7:46:46 PM): thats the thing that causes a lot of worry for me
Britney (1/30/06 7:47:11 PM): and my guess would be that he is going to let her move in with him, and tell you otherwise
Elaina (1/30/06 7:48:01 PM): then why did he even take me back?
Elaina (1/30/06 7:48:05 PM): he confuses me so much
Elaina (1/30/06 7:48:11 PM): why yoyo me if he wants her
Britney (1/30/06 7:48:47 PM): he feels less guilt if he convinces you that you are still dating
Elaina (1/30/06 7:49:22 PM): he already tells me things that i would never have known if he hadnt told me...so why tell me?
Elaina (1/30/06 7:49:37 PM): i mean....if he wanted me to think we were together and be happy....why tell me these things?
Britney (1/30/06 7:49:59 PM): he's bragging, he wants you to know exactly what you can't have
Britney (1/30/06 7:50:12 PM): guys are horrible little creatures
Elaina (1/30/06 7:50:22 PM): ugh....
Elaina (1/30/06 7:50:30 PM): and i keep giving him my trust
Elaina (1/30/06 7:50:35 PM): hoping that he wont want to hurt me
Britney (1/30/06 7:51:07 PM): hun, he will
Britney (1/30/06 7:51:10 PM): that's what they do
Britney (1/30/06 7:51:27 PM): and im very sure that he is still seeing iola
Elaina (1/30/06 7:51:30 PM): when i met him....none of my family or i would have ever dreamed he would do this to me
Britney (1/30/06 7:51:44 PM): indeed, he seems like a good kid
Elaina (1/30/06 7:51:56 PM): i mean he met my family
Elaina (1/30/06 7:52:01 PM): we were engaged!
Britney (1/30/06 7:52:17 PM): i dont believe he ever mentioned that
Britney (1/30/06 7:52:30 PM): has he ever sent you anything to support you with the baby?
Elaina (1/30/06 7:52:39 PM): no
Elaina (1/30/06 7:53:03 PM): in fact he usually only asks about the baby when i finally decide i dont want to hear from him anymore...and he uses the baby as an excuse to talk to me again
Elaina (1/30/06 7:53:10 PM): and then i feel guilty....
Britney (1/30/06 7:53:19 PM): oh hun..
Britney (1/30/06 7:53:40 PM): i really really don't like this
Elaina (1/30/06 7:53:47 PM): tell me about it
Elaina (1/30/06 7:54:14 PM): when i first saw that someone on his buddy list had emailed me...i was prepared to hear an earful of whatever he told them about me
Elaina (1/30/06 7:54:32 PM): i have no idea what his faimly thinks of me
Elaina (1/30/06 7:54:36 PM): i never met any of them
Britney (1/30/06 7:55:00 PM): i tend to look deeper into the situation when someone talks bad about someone else... i too have a HORRIBLE ex
Britney (1/30/06 7:55:04 PM): so I know how people can be
Britney (1/30/06 7:55:12 PM): but he didn't say anything bad about you
Elaina (1/30/06 7:55:18 PM): did he try to flirt with u....be honest...
Britney (1/30/06 7:55:22 PM): yes
Elaina (1/30/06 7:55:42 PM): u know....we were engaged only 2 months ago
Elaina (1/30/06 7:55:50 PM): and he cant see why i am so upset
Elaina (1/30/06 7:56:04 PM): i am not upset with u
Britney (1/30/06 7:56:08 PM): he didnt mention that
Elaina (1/30/06 7:56:22 PM): i mean a girl cant help what a guy doesnt tell her
Britney (1/30/06 7:56:38 PM): I was NEVER interested in him like that
Elaina (1/30/06 7:57:09 PM): it wouldnt matter if u ever were honestly...i still wouldnt be upset at u cause u are an inocent party
Elaina (1/30/06 7:57:28 PM): like i said u cant help what he didnt tellu
Elaina (1/30/06 7:58:03 PM): how long has he known u...like how long ago did he start flirting?
Britney (1/30/06 7:58:54 PM): oh ive only known him for a couple weeks, but the first time i talked to him online he was very sure to make it known that he is well endowed... i found that to be a bit taky
Elaina (1/30/06 7:59:30 PM): sadly....even though i know u wouldnt make that up....he was never like that with me....
Elaina (1/30/06 7:59:43 PM): its like he is a completely different guy
Britney (1/30/06 7:59:52 PM): and maybe he is
Elaina (1/30/06 7:59:58 PM): and i am the one who filled his head with how big he was
Elaina (1/30/06 8:00:01 PM): but anyways
Britney (1/30/06 8:00:26 PM): he was very full of himself on that idea
Elaina (1/30/06 8:00:40 PM): how on earth did he bring it up?
Britney (1/30/06 8:01:17 PM): i don't even remember how it started... it was one of those things that just kinda came outta no where
Elaina (1/30/06 8:01:45 PM): when i told him that u emailed me...he instantly called me...and started explaining your friendship
Elaina (1/30/06 8:01:49 PM): to make sure i wasnt jealous
Elaina (1/30/06 8:02:04 PM): i was like...joe....she told me u were just freinds
Britney (1/30/06 8:02:20 PM): so tell me... why do you stay with him?
Elaina (1/30/06 8:02:41 PM): because i honestly didnt know what he was saying to other girls online
Elaina (1/30/06 8:02:48 PM): he would always close his laptop so i couldtn see
Elaina (1/30/06 8:02:56 PM): then get mad at me and call me paranoid
Elaina (1/30/06 8:03:00 PM): and i beleived him
Britney (1/30/06 8:03:20 PM): dont trust guys who insist on hiding things
Britney (1/30/06 8:03:26 PM): they are hiding things for a reason
Elaina (1/30/06 8:04:03 PM): i know he wants iola...i am not stupid...he admitted it to me once then tried to recant his statement when i wouldnt take any of his calls, messages on yahoo, or emails
Elaina (1/30/06 8:04:21 PM): and called me crazy for being jealous and thinking such a thing
Britney (1/30/06 8:05:05 PM): brb sorry
Elaina (1/30/06 8:05:07 PM): i mean shoot he told me...according to him...that she held his hand and admits to letting her...that she kissed him but swears he didnt kiss back....
Elaina (1/30/06 8:05:10 PM): ok
Britney (1/30/06 8:06:51 PM): he did, he told me all aboutit
Elaina (1/30/06 8:07:07 PM): what version did he tellu/
Elaina (1/30/06 8:07:08 PM): ?
Britney (1/30/06 8:07:48 PM): just that they had kissed and then he asked her if they were dating now and she said yes... my heavens i feel like i should be back in middle school.. im sorry but he is very very immature
Elaina (1/30/06 8:08:03 PM): he told me they werent dating
Elaina (1/30/06 8:08:07 PM): he swore to it
Britney (1/30/06 8:08:14 PM): he told me that they are
Elaina (1/30/06 8:08:43 PM): please send me the conversation in an email....so he cant accuse me of being paranoid and psycho for accusing him
Britney (1/30/06 8:08:57 PM): i dont know if i saved it
Elaina (1/30/06 8:09:00 PM): i cant beleive he is doing this to me
Elaina (1/30/06 8:09:21 PM): he has lied to me so much
Elaina (1/30/06 8:09:24 PM): i feel so stupid
Britney (1/30/06 8:09:57 PM): i don't have it saved, im sorry
Britney (1/30/06 8:10:04 PM): but I promise that I would not lie to you
Elaina (1/30/06 8:10:13 PM): i know u have nothing to gain from lying
Elaina (1/30/06 8:10:15 PM): he does
Britney (1/30/06 8:10:20 PM): ok
Britney (1/30/06 8:10:46 PM): and I am not going to have any further communication with him
Elaina (1/30/06 8:10:50 PM): u know his timing on taking me back....
Elaina (1/30/06 8:11:14 PM): as soon as i told him that if he didnt know if he wanted me back that he had better get a hotel room cause he wasnt sleeping in my house
Elaina (1/30/06 8:11:33 PM): for the baby's birth that is
Britney (1/30/06 8:11:49 PM): indeed, your a quaranteed booty call
Elaina (1/30/06 8:11:55 PM): not anymore
Elaina (1/30/06 8:12:10 PM): u have no idea how greatful i am that i met u
Elaina (1/30/06 8:12:32 PM): i have felt like i was crazy cause i had no proof of anything i suspected
Britney (1/30/06 8:12:36 PM): im glad too, as long as you don't put up with his trash anymore
Elaina (1/30/06 8:12:50 PM): no...he has lied to me for the last time
Britney (1/30/06 8:12:57 PM): good
Elaina (1/30/06 8:13:00 PM): i am sure iola doesnt even know how he talks to me
Britney (1/30/06 8:13:06 PM): and feel free to tell him that you heard it all from me
Elaina (1/30/06 8:13:13 PM): i am 100% certain she doesnt know he tells me he loves me
Britney (1/30/06 8:13:24 PM): oh im sure he doesnt
Britney (1/30/06 8:13:37 PM): she wouldnt want him if she knew how he treated you
Elaina (1/30/06 8:13:51 PM): she is suicidal....in a mental hospital suicidal
Elaina (1/30/06 8:13:59 PM): he shouldnt have done this to her
Elaina (1/30/06 8:14:02 PM): of all people
Britney (1/30/06 8:14:06 PM): i knew she was in warm springs but he wouldnt tell me why
Elaina (1/30/06 8:14:32 PM): he called me...while he was still in warm springs visiting her
Elaina (1/30/06 8:14:35 PM): during that visit
Elaina (1/30/06 8:14:40 PM): to tell me that he loved me
Britney (1/30/06 8:14:49 PM): thats horrible
Elaina (1/30/06 8:14:53 PM): tell me about it
Elaina (1/30/06 8:15:00 PM): ooo he is so not the joe i thought he was
Elaina (1/30/06 8:15:05 PM): or i wouldnt have hung on this long
Britney (1/30/06 8:15:56 PM): don't take this the wrong way... but what really attracted you to him in the first place? Call me shallow but he's really not much to look at, he has HORRIBLE teeth, and he has a really bad stutter
Elaina (1/30/06 8:16:22 PM): i met him online...and he was so sweet he swept even my mom off her feet
Britney (1/30/06 8:16:25 PM): and I've seen pics of you, your very very pretty
Britney (1/30/06 8:16:31 PM): oh
Elaina (1/30/06 8:16:40 PM): we met after two months of chatting
Elaina (1/30/06 8:16:44 PM): he was never vulgar with me
Elaina (1/30/06 8:16:48 PM): because i am a christian
Britney (1/30/06 8:16:56 PM): ah
Elaina (1/30/06 8:16:57 PM): he even swore he was a virgin when i met him
Britney (1/30/06 8:16:57 PM): i see
Britney (1/30/06 8:17:04 PM): interesting
Elaina (1/30/06 8:17:14 PM): which....with his stutter...and stuff....wasnt hard to beleive
Britney (1/30/06 8:17:22 PM): true
Elaina (1/30/06 8:17:26 PM): but it took him only 2 weeks to bed me......God forgive me
Britney (1/30/06 8:17:35 PM): but, he told me he has slept with 2 people
Britney (1/30/06 8:17:43 PM): so there was either one before you, or one after
Elaina (1/30/06 8:17:51 PM): omg....
Elaina (1/30/06 8:17:55 PM): if he wasnt lying to me
Britney (1/30/06 8:18:03 PM): ??
Elaina (1/30/06 8:18:10 PM): if he wasnt lying to me about being a virgin
Britney (1/30/06 8:18:15 PM): oh
Elaina (1/30/06 8:18:15 PM): he has to have slept with iola
Elaina (1/30/06 8:18:21 PM): or someone between us
Britney (1/30/06 8:18:43 PM): if it was iola, it had to have been before she went to warm springs
Elaina (1/30/06 8:18:58 PM): ok...then it was new years eve
Elaina (1/30/06 8:19:07 PM): the night he swears he didnt do anythign with anyone
Elaina (1/30/06 8:19:13 PM): but he reeked of guilt
Elaina (1/30/06 8:19:17 PM): and cursed me out
Elaina (1/30/06 8:19:20 PM): with the F word
Britney (1/30/06 8:19:24 PM): what, why?
Elaina (1/30/06 8:19:25 PM): whcih he had never used on me before
Elaina (1/30/06 8:19:37 PM): simply because i asked what he did for new years
Britney (1/30/06 8:19:46 PM): yeah, thats guilt
Elaina (1/30/06 8:21:32 PM): i cant beleive he is still lying to me
Elaina (1/30/06 8:21:40 PM): after all the devotion i have shown him
Elaina (1/30/06 8:22:03 PM): i tell u what though....thank u
Elaina (1/30/06 8:22:12 PM): i have been trying to find the proof that i am not crazy
Britney (1/30/06 8:22:24 PM): you aren't
Britney (1/30/06 8:22:27 PM): i promise
Elaina (1/30/06 8:22:35 PM): a reason to let go...because i havent been able to convince myself to let go...since God forgives all sins
Elaina (1/30/06 8:22:48 PM): i tried to love him that way
Elaina (1/30/06 8:23:00 PM): man....why me? cause i am a sucker
Elaina (1/30/06 8:24:21 PM):i know u have no reason to lie to me
Elaina (1/30/06 8:24:27 PM): and i am so thankful for that
Britney (1/30/06 8:24:35 PM): you are welcome
Elaina (1/30/06 8:24:42 PM): joe has everything to lose by not lying to me
Britney (1/30/06 8:24:47 PM): I'm just glad i could help you before you moved out here to be with him
Elaina (1/30/06 8:25:21 PM): ooo he makes me mad
Britney (1/30/06 8:25:30 PM): i imagine so
Elaina (1/30/06 8:29:27 PM): no wonder he got upset over my blogs
Elaina (1/30/06 8:29:37 PM): how many other girls is he affraid to figure out who i am
Britney (1/30/06 8:29:54 PM): indeed
Elaina (1/30/06 8:29:59 PM): he doesnt want any of the others telling me what he is saying or doing
Elaina (1/30/06 8:30:19 PM): i knew that was fishy
Elaina (1/30/06 8:30:22 PM): i knew it i knew it
Britney (1/30/06 8:30:39 PM): and you were right, always trust your instinct
Elaina (1/30/06 8:30:52 PM): i needed a good enough excuse to let go of the love that i have for him....and now i finally have it
Britney (1/30/06 8:31:00 PM): good
Elaina (1/30/06 8:32:47 PM): sadly....
Elaina (1/30/06 8:32:56 PM): he either slept with a girl he barely knew after me
Elaina (1/30/06 8:32:59 PM): or a girl before me
Elaina (1/30/06 8:33:03 PM): and lied to me
Britney (1/30/06 8:33:15 PM): either way, he lied
Britney (1/30/06 8:33:21 PM): or withheld the truth
Elaina (1/30/06 8:33:24 PM): because we have only be apart for 2 months....and just got back together
Elaina (1/30/06 8:33:37 PM): been*
Britney (1/30/06 8:34:05 PM): do you know why he doesn't have contact with his family?
Elaina (1/30/06 8:34:44 PM): he does talk to his brother
Elaina (1/30/06 8:34:51 PM): and he does talk to his sister
Elaina (1/30/06 8:34:56 PM): his sister lives up there
Britney (1/30/06 8:35:01 PM): right
Elaina (1/30/06 8:35:02 PM): his brother lives in indiana
Elaina (1/30/06 8:35:06 PM): with his mom
Britney (1/30/06 8:35:30 PM): i think little mister joe dug himself a hole, if you ask me
Elaina (1/30/06 8:35:43 PM): did he tell u that he doesnt talk to his family?
Britney (1/30/06 8:35:47 PM): yes
Britney (1/30/06 8:35:59 PM): he said he talks to a half sister
Britney (1/30/06 8:36:01 PM): the one here
Elaina (1/30/06 8:36:04 PM): his twin brother just mailed him a bunch of games
Elaina (1/30/06 8:36:14 PM): i know he talks to him
Elaina (1/30/06 8:36:20 PM): he talked to him once a week when he was here
Britney (1/30/06 8:36:29 PM): hmm
Elaina (1/30/06 8:41:18 PM): so who cares really what he is doing
Elaina (1/30/06 8:41:21 PM): he better call me
Britney (1/30/06 8:41:37 PM): don't call him
Britney (1/30/06 8:41:49 PM): act uninterested, that will make him call
Elaina (1/30/06 8:45:03 PM): wow joe is just full of secrets and lies
Elaina (1/30/06 8:45:10 PM): i am flabbergasted
Elaina (1/30/06 8:45:22 PM): i feel so niave
Britney (1/30/06 8:45:24 PM): ugh, brb again baby is awake
Elaina (1/30/06 8:45:30 PM): no problem