The Merry Widow
You know what's coming already, don't you?
In fact, I think this has been touched on already, in at least one very fine post about cannon(no, for once, NOT canon)-fodder husbands who get done in in a whole variety of unpleasant ways so that the heroine (who is usually Hermione) can fall into the waiting arms of a kindly man who's ready to discuss his own similar traumas in a sexual and yet unthreatening way, and who knows how to deal with crying females (who, against all the odds, is generally Snape). It's very unfair on the poor husband, created only to be destroyed in freakish and unnatural ways to further his own wife's future romantic encounters...
But that's not actually what I want to talk about.
Let's stick to Snape-Hermione for now, as this is the most common place for this sort of stuff. Though I've seen it elsewhere.
What bothers me about this scenario is the way that this traumatised and desperately unhappy woman ends up in bed with someone who is palpably unsuitable for her in many ways, has MOUNTAINS of unresolved issues of his own and a particularly sharp line in sarcasm when dealing with the unhappinesses and traumas of others. If you think I'm being unnecessarily harsh to Snape, consider his treatment of the defenceless Neville Longbottom, his reaction to Hermione's enormous teeth, or the way he dealt with Harry's invasion of his Pensieve.
Now I've nothing against mind-blowing sex - quite the reverse. I daresay that if the circumstances are right, it can blot out quite a lot of unhappiness - at least while the sex is going on. What I would question, though, is the way that a few bouts of said glorious sex somehow make everything all right. In the post-coital glow, a few confessions along the lines of always having had a crush on them at school (not necessarily a point in this ship's favour, in my view) and the husband having occasionally displayed an insensitive indifference to some of the things she loves, all this then leads in short order to declarations of undying love and [insert tacky handfasting ceremony of your choice].
Everyone (except Ron, if he's somehow survived the holocaust) seems to think this is lovely, and gathers round to offer congratulations and chivvy the whole distasteful business on.
NO-ONE EVER ASKS HER IF SHE'S SURE, OR QUESTIONS WHETHER SHE'S READY.
I've never been unlucky enough to experienced the death of a partner. But I do know a couple of people who have been widowed or divorced, and in the confusion and disturbance of mind that followed, attempted to strike up with me. These were not people who were ready for another marriage with me or anyone else (whatever they might have believed at the time) - they were just desperate to get back what they'd lost, even if it was in the most ludicrous and unsatisfactory form imaginable. And even someone like me (who really does have the emotional range of a teaspoon) could sense it.
I know it's dangerous to draw sweeping conclusions from a couple of examples. But still, if someone close to me, recently widowed, took up very quickly with someone like Snape, I would be concerned for her. And if they ended up married very shortly afterwards (as often happens in the crappier end of this kind of fic) I would also be concerned for him.
In fact, I think this has been touched on already, in at least one very fine post about cannon(no, for once, NOT canon)-fodder husbands who get done in in a whole variety of unpleasant ways so that the heroine (who is usually Hermione) can fall into the waiting arms of a kindly man who's ready to discuss his own similar traumas in a sexual and yet unthreatening way, and who knows how to deal with crying females (who, against all the odds, is generally Snape). It's very unfair on the poor husband, created only to be destroyed in freakish and unnatural ways to further his own wife's future romantic encounters...
But that's not actually what I want to talk about.
Let's stick to Snape-Hermione for now, as this is the most common place for this sort of stuff. Though I've seen it elsewhere.
What bothers me about this scenario is the way that this traumatised and desperately unhappy woman ends up in bed with someone who is palpably unsuitable for her in many ways, has MOUNTAINS of unresolved issues of his own and a particularly sharp line in sarcasm when dealing with the unhappinesses and traumas of others. If you think I'm being unnecessarily harsh to Snape, consider his treatment of the defenceless Neville Longbottom, his reaction to Hermione's enormous teeth, or the way he dealt with Harry's invasion of his Pensieve.
Now I've nothing against mind-blowing sex - quite the reverse. I daresay that if the circumstances are right, it can blot out quite a lot of unhappiness - at least while the sex is going on. What I would question, though, is the way that a few bouts of said glorious sex somehow make everything all right. In the post-coital glow, a few confessions along the lines of always having had a crush on them at school (not necessarily a point in this ship's favour, in my view) and the husband having occasionally displayed an insensitive indifference to some of the things she loves, all this then leads in short order to declarations of undying love and [insert tacky handfasting ceremony of your choice].
Everyone (except Ron, if he's somehow survived the holocaust) seems to think this is lovely, and gathers round to offer congratulations and chivvy the whole distasteful business on.
NO-ONE EVER ASKS HER IF SHE'S SURE, OR QUESTIONS WHETHER SHE'S READY.
I've never been unlucky enough to experienced the death of a partner. But I do know a couple of people who have been widowed or divorced, and in the confusion and disturbance of mind that followed, attempted to strike up with me. These were not people who were ready for another marriage with me or anyone else (whatever they might have believed at the time) - they were just desperate to get back what they'd lost, even if it was in the most ludicrous and unsatisfactory form imaginable. And even someone like me (who really does have the emotional range of a teaspoon) could sense it.
I know it's dangerous to draw sweeping conclusions from a couple of examples. But still, if someone close to me, recently widowed, took up very quickly with someone like Snape, I would be concerned for her. And if they ended up married very shortly afterwards (as often happens in the crappier end of this kind of fic) I would also be concerned for him.