Damn It's Been Forever

[potsmoker85]

I miss you guys so much. I don't have a life or friends anymore. I have been dating a boy for like 3 months now. He's really nice, but he doesn't hardly pay any attention to me anymore. It would not bother me execpt for the fact that I don't have a car and no one hardly to hang out with. The only places I go to are work for 10 hours a day 5-6 sometimes 7 days a week. Then I go home and hang out with myself since my roommate moved out and left me to take care of his fucking dog. He has been gone for like 2 months and his dog pisses and shits all in the floor. I have to clean it up. All his shit is still at my house and I have to pay all the rent and bills since I don't have a roommate. I did stay with my friend Cindy from work for a few nights, but she let her asshole boyfriend move in and I hate him. My boyfriend comes over sometimes, but it seems like he only comes over when he wants sex or money. I think he gets bored at my house because I don't have a phone, cable, or a Playstation. I figured he would be bored though and try to spend time with me... Guess I thought wrong. You all know what I would love to do? Go to the grocery store. I don't have anyone to take me and I don't have a car. I haven't asked my boy to take me, but I have said comments like, "I sure would love to go to the store..." *hint hint*, but he still don't fucking offer. I have a car in Wolfe county if I can ever get up there to get it. He won't take me to go and get my car either. I haven't asked, but I talk about it all the time and he never offers. That might be my fault though because he was threatening to kick the girl who sold it to me her boyfriend's ass because they tried to rip me off. Shit, I sure am a sucker for people. I should put a sign on my back that says, "Take advantage of me please. I am practically begging for it. I think people are good." I was so depressed today I cried. I am just happy that I am quitting my job on Friday. My mom is supposed to take me to get my car on Saturday and I get to drive it all the way here with an extremely fucked up axle. Oh, since you all have been gone my roommate (ex-roommate) got drunk and messed around with my 45 year old guidance counselor from when I was in high school. That was forever ago and that's been the most wild I have been since I wrote the last journal entry. I don't really do drugs anymore (maybe weed every once in a while). I can't drink because my boyfriend says I am a mean drunk. Yeah, I almost forgot...my best friend that I ever had deserted me. My Thomas. He was my love. He stayed all night with Brian and me and his big fat ugly boyfriend got mad. Thomas chose his easy life in Lexington over me. I can't say I blame him for being a sellout though. When he stayed with us I was really uncomfortable because I was jealous of Brian. Thomas was jealous of my boys too; he was also less tolerant of me making out in front of him too. Sometimes I think Thomas only used me as an alibi and transportation to see guys. He was the one person I really thought I could trust and put my faith into because I couldn't think of any reason for him to use me at the time. It wasn't like we were fucking or anything and he always held me in suck high esteem. Thomas broke my heart. I hope he misses me more than I miss him. Well, you know what kids? The fucking world is just full of dissapointments. Never trust anyone. Everyone is only using you for something. Maybe that's not true, but you get hurt a lot less. Now that I am done being whiney and pathetic I will let you all go.
Love you all,
Jessi