Drunk. Again.
Hi. Remember me? No? Don't feel bad. I don't remember what I had for breakfast this morning. My boss callsme goldfish because of the whole 3 second memory thing. Go figure.
Anyway, to be honest, I'm only writing now because I'm drunk. I wish I could write more often, but I think it's better to be irregular and seldom. Keep them wanting more, I always say. Really, I figure the few of you that read my journal either a) read it because they find it remotely funny and laugh either at me or with me, or b) aren't very bright. Therefore, without a semblence of vanity, I put it down to my humour.
But I digress...
Due to this, I figure if I have nothing funny, witty, cynical or entertaining to say, really, it just ain't worth saying. That's the reason for my disappearance - my imagination has disappeared. However, I've found that somewhere between the beer flowing down (then due to the whole equal but opposite reaction thing), back up again, the imagination runs wild. So I grace you with what I like to call post-beer, pre-spew. Now don't get me wrong - I'm probably not all that humourous, but Gosh-darnit, I feel it!
So my rant today is about idiots. What else is new, I hear you say. Well, nothing, but if it's any consolation, we're talking a different breed of idiot. This guy at my work ain't all that bright. You've heard the saying 'Few fries short of a Happy Meal'? Well, this guy's missing his Cheeseburger and small Coke as well. I don't wanna go into it, but whatever happened to natural selection? I've encountered mould more intelligent than this guy.
On another thought, I realized monkeys rule. They hang around in trees and shit, and do nothing. I want that life. Plus, when they get grumpy (or bored) they fling shit at people or their mates. I can think of worse things. And if they were shitty (no pun intended) and started a shit-fight, the worst thing that can happen is it smells. And then the shit really hits the fan.
Anyway, to be honest, I'm only writing now because I'm drunk. I wish I could write more often, but I think it's better to be irregular and seldom. Keep them wanting more, I always say. Really, I figure the few of you that read my journal either a) read it because they find it remotely funny and laugh either at me or with me, or b) aren't very bright. Therefore, without a semblence of vanity, I put it down to my humour.
But I digress...
Due to this, I figure if I have nothing funny, witty, cynical or entertaining to say, really, it just ain't worth saying. That's the reason for my disappearance - my imagination has disappeared. However, I've found that somewhere between the beer flowing down (then due to the whole equal but opposite reaction thing), back up again, the imagination runs wild. So I grace you with what I like to call post-beer, pre-spew. Now don't get me wrong - I'm probably not all that humourous, but Gosh-darnit, I feel it!
So my rant today is about idiots. What else is new, I hear you say. Well, nothing, but if it's any consolation, we're talking a different breed of idiot. This guy at my work ain't all that bright. You've heard the saying 'Few fries short of a Happy Meal'? Well, this guy's missing his Cheeseburger and small Coke as well. I don't wanna go into it, but whatever happened to natural selection? I've encountered mould more intelligent than this guy.
On another thought, I realized monkeys rule. They hang around in trees and shit, and do nothing. I want that life. Plus, when they get grumpy (or bored) they fling shit at people or their mates. I can think of worse things. And if they were shitty (no pun intended) and started a shit-fight, the worst thing that can happen is it smells. And then the shit really hits the fan.