(no subject)

[pothica]

last time i had sex it was rape.
and not really the fun kind.
well. it ended up being fun.
but how can it be fun when the person thats there thought it was a dream?
he wasn't half awake and was tearing my body to shreds.

does he love me or am i an object.

am i just there to do things with when he feels like it?
am i just a body?

-----------------------
one more year.
asking for one more year.
hasn't it been almost 7?

she got one month.
and had you wrapped around her little finger.
but i deal with one more year.

"i want to know for sure"
you say.
she got one month.
not even probably.

"she made me get her a promise ring"
am i good enough for even that?

i have to deal with all of your mistakes
i have to make sure that you're okay.
i have to keep the house in order and support you
and for my efforts i don't even really get sex anymore.

i go from sex every day
and then we moved
and then a month went by
and now nothing.
i have to iniciate..
unless i'm part of a dream i guess.

i'm not good enough to have that kind of amazing sex with when you're awake?
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this is how i deal.
i write it all down and then it goes away forever.

i guess i should get you up now.
its noon.