(no subject)
What a boring couple of days. Yesterday and today have been possibly the least productive in my entire college career. I suppose that isn't saying much at this point, but nonetheless, it's a precedent. On account of the fact it's president's day, I couldn't even go to my job educating poor, orphaned, inner city, ebola virus infected leper children. I can see them now, tears streaming down their pock-marked faces in my absence. Who will swab Hojo's infected wrist stump? Who will teach little Thalamidia revisionist history? They can't all grow up learning that Columbus discovered America and that the Revolutionary war was fought over "democracy"! They will learn the sad tale of the oppressed Viking minority that founded this nation, and the misbegotten war fought against the unsuspecting British to install the Reptilian Conspiracy leaders into the highest ranks of their colonial government! I will shine a ray of hope into their poor, myopic eyes. They will know my font of truth as the only word to be obeyed, and they will follow like so many children to the tune of the Pied Piper. With the blessing of the Lord and Lyndon LaRouche at my back, I will lead a dread army of bent and suppurating men with a rally cry as we march over the ashes of the White House. The scaly corpse of the George Bush lizard will dry in the sun, a foul carapace upon which we will draft a new Declaration, one in which equality is truly guaranteed for every real human, with the natural exception of the blacks and irish. Then, I will be lifted up upon a bed of stumpy arms, and carried to my rightful station, as ruler of the new lepocracy.
Tomorrow, anyhow. I'm going back to playing video games and masturbating until I have real work to do. I hope this demonstrates that I haven't totally abandoned this blog, and also that I have nothing useful left to contribute through the medium of the written word. If you actually read through that hogwash, it is my pleasure to present you with this "World's Greatest Dad" Certificate, good for one free Grand Slam at all participating Peoria area Denny's. Earn free iPods!
Tomorrow, anyhow. I'm going back to playing video games and masturbating until I have real work to do. I hope this demonstrates that I haven't totally abandoned this blog, and also that I have nothing useful left to contribute through the medium of the written word. If you actually read through that hogwash, it is my pleasure to present you with this "World's Greatest Dad" Certificate, good for one free Grand Slam at all participating Peoria area Denny's. Earn free iPods!
