Angeline Ward and Calintz Sparrow
After the boring!Sue yesterday, I thought I'd find you guys something truly awful. It's depressing how well I succeeded. This author has many other fics... most are also PotC Sues.
TITLE: Pirates of the Caribbean: the Jewel of Deception
CULPRIT: DemonicLittleGirl Indeed.
SUMMARY: "COMPLETED! Warning! Dark content in later chapters! Jack goes in search of some lost treasure, and finds a completely different treasure. JackOC WillElizabeth Plz RR!"
BEST LINE: "[Jack's] chocolate eyes were glazed and he seemed somewhat troubled." This wasn't really the most absurd line, but I thought I'd feature it since it gave me a major junk food craving.
THE VERDICT
It's a short drop and a sudden stop for you.
Sue #1
NAME: Angeline Ward
EYES: sparkling blue eyes
HAIR: "raven-haired" "pure black hair cupped at her face" I have no idea what exactly that's supposed to mean.
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: "the light from the sky cast against her face it gave her an unearthly glow" People insist on continually saying that she's aptly named since she's so angelic *vomit*.
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: A "small pinkish rock on a silver chain" that she picked up at the "Dark Coves" which is the titular "Jewel of Deception".
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: She's the daughter of some random plot contrivance named Mr. Ward who helps Jack find a new crew after the author conveniently gets rid of the old crew. Apparently, she was also kidnapped by pirates when she was six. Why? Just so she can have met Bootstrap Bill.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: Jack's one true love. Friends with Will and Elizabeth.
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: She possesses the Jewel of Deception: "It is a jewel that is thought to have been in the possession of the sea queen Nidia, before her corruption by Neptune. The sea God had wanted Nidia’s kingdom but that’s not the point. The jewel is supposed to hold all of Nidia’s powers. Including that to control the waters and the power to heal all life." I consider Nidia a bonus!Sue.
Sue #2
NAME: Calintz Sparrow
EYES: "warm chocolate colour"
HAIR: "pure black and braided in much the same fashion as Jack’s"
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: "her demeanour, her nature, the way she held herself, it was all similar to Jack." Being a female version of Jack, down to "the same drunken swagger".
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: none
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: She's conveniently with the crew of Captain Cobbs, an evil pirate, so that she may defect and join Jack on the Black Pearl.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: Jack's younger sister.
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: Being descended from Neptune. Yes, you read that right.
NOTES: Jack and sister!Sue are descended from Neptune. I felt that bore repeating.
Besides Suedom of the nth degree, the author is also guilty of sending people to the Wasteland of Forgotten Characters (tm Pottersues), making Jack talk in that stupid faux pirate accent, perpetuating the lie of evil!Norrington, having the Black Pearl plan to sail to Europe (didn't piratesues have a rant about such silliness?), and innumerable counts of canon-rape. Oh and the only bit of sailing knowledge she seems to have has to do with ships "dropping mast"... I'm no expert and tell me if I'm wrong, but I think she meant dropping sails.
I'm going to tell you the story. The whole story. Some madness drove me to read the entire 35 chapters. And now I must share that harrowing experience with you.
Will has decided to go with Jack on a random pillaging because he's been banished from Port Royal for trying to save Jack from being hung. The author has gotten rid of all of the named members of Jack's crew: Anamaria, Mr. Gibbs, and Cotton, so that twuwuv!Sue's father can be required to round Jack up a new crew at the cost of sailing on the Black Pearl with him and bringing along twuwuv!Sue. The Black Pearl goes to Port Royal for supplies or something and Will picks up Elizabeth and gets her to run away with him, so that the author can make evil!Norrington give chase in his "navel ship". This particular evil!Norrington doesn't just want to kill Jack and Will and make Elizabeth marry him. He's also a glory-hog obsessed with getting rid of the last great pirate threat in the Caribbean since it would be such a great accomplishment. *sigh*
Anyway, Jack and crew are sailing the "Dark Waters" to get to the "Dark Coves" where I'm guessing there was supposed to be some "dark treasure" or something. All it did was make me think this might be a crossover with that cartoon: The Pirates of Dark Water. I used to like that show. Anyway, as it turns out it's all a trap set up by twuwuv!Sue's evil father to marry her off to her for his debts. This falls through because twuwuv!Sue and Jack lie and say they've slept together since the pirate captain wanted her "untouched". The evil pirates are so up in arms about this that they don't notice when Jack and company leave... since the only real reason for that whole digression was to pick up sister!Sue who serves as a Yenta Sue for Jack and twuwuv!Sue.
There's some chasing of the Black Pearl by the evil pirates, who wish to kill sister!Sue, and evil!Norrington, who wants to kill Jack and Will, but they're staved off by a storm that twuwuv!Sue unwittingly conjures up. Elizabeth is struck "ill" by Contrivance, so they sail to the "Isle of Hallow" which is apparently supposed to be Jack and his sister!Sue's home. Elizabeth is, predicatably, pregnant. Their stay on the "Isle of Hallow" goes on and on, the Sues angst and angst, I get more and more bored. Everyone's captured by evil!Norrington who for some reason agrees to let everyone go in exchange for sister!Sue. Then the fic goes on and on and on and on and I begin to think it will never end and it goes on and on and on and I scream "When will it end?!" and it persists in going on and on and on.
sister!Sue is tortured and raped by the evil pirate captain and then, somehow, a week later, knows that she's pregnant. Jack kills evil!Norrington and has his injuries healed by twuwuv!Sue with her l33t godd3z powahz which also gives them a magical soulbond or some shit and puts him in a coma, for no apparent reason. When he wakes up he goes and kills the evil pirate captain and rescues sister!Sue who is comatose for a while but twuwuv!Sue doesn't heal her. I guess because sister!Sue killed twuwuv!Sue's evil father thus causing twuwuv!Sue to angst about Jack loving his sister!Sue more than her. Then, the author gets "inspired" by Lord of the Rings and has twuwuv!Sue pull a Gollum/Smeagol and start talking to herself about her angst. They find a doctor to tend to sister!Sue so that the author has an excuse to phonetically write out a "German" accent that's even more annoying than Jack's pirate-speak. twuwuv!Sue is possessed by Nidia through the Jewel of Deception. She then tries to kill sister!Sue as revenge on Neptune for stealing the seas from her. *sigh* Jack knocks her out, everyone lets her wake back up so that they can spend another chapter trying to knock her out again in order to get the Jewel of Deception from her. A random boy they picked up from the evil pirates gets killed in this endeavour so that sister!Sue can angst about how it should have been her. sister!Sue decides to stay on Tortuga, Will and Elizabeth all of a sudden decide that Governor Swann can pull some strings so that Will won't be hung upon return to Port Royal so that they can be married there, and the fic ends on this sickening line: "Captain Jack Sparrow had his Pearl, his rum, his freedom and something that few pirates could ever claim to have achieved. Love."
I need brain-bleach.
Oh, and the most frightening part? There's a sequel:
Pirates of the Caribbean: Neptunes BloodLine
Summary: "My sequel to Jewel of Deception. What happens when another heir to another God enters the scene? JSOC ESWT slight JackAna in later chapters."
EXCERPT:
twuwuv!Sue appears, and there's porny talk of her ass
Next morning Jack and Will were standing in front of six men. Ward had said they were the only ones who were decent enough to go anywhere.
“Ah suppose they’ll do. Six of ‘em plus you makes seven and that’ll be jus’ fine.” Jack said looking at the new additions to his crew.
“Actually Jack, there’ll be eight of us. Me daughter. Ah just can’t leave her here.” Alex Ward looked almost desperately at Jack.
“Can she sail?” Will asked.
“Aye, she can handle a ship about as well as I can. Taught ‘er everything ah know.” Jack looked almost thoughtful. “Here Jack. Let me introduce you to her. Angel!” A young woman who was sitting on the dock letting her feet bathe in the water stood up and walked towards Ward.
“Yes father.” The girl wore a loose dress that fell to her ankles. the waist hugged her body showing off her smooth curves and tight butt.
“Jack Sparrow, this is my daughter, Angeline Ward. Angeline this is Captain Jack Sparrow.” Angeline smiled.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Captain Sparrow.” Jack grinned.
“Pleasures all mine luv. alright, she can come.” Jack nodded his head dramatically and quickly turned on his heal. “Right! Load up the Pearl.” Will started helping get the crates of food, rum and gun powder loaded up. to his surprise Angeline helped to lift a particularly heavy crate. smiling at him they heaved it and threw it into the boat to get hoisted up to the ship. Angeline turned to Will.
“I’m Angeline Ward.” She offered her hand.
“Will Turner.” Will took the offered hand and shook it. “Welcome to the Pearl.” She smiled wider and Will had to smile back. It would appear that she was well named.
More talk of twuwuv!Sue's ass, as everyone stares at it. This must be some sort of fetish with the author.
Angeline was standing in front of a battered up mirror in the small cabin that she and Elizabeth were to share. She had been trying on the new clothes that Jack had bought for her. There was no way her father would allow her to walk around like this. Instead of her plain dress she was now wearing a crimson red shirt that was too big for her and a pair of tight black pants. The shirt held loosely together at the neck by some black string and the pants clung to her like a second skin, showing her shapely butt and well toned thighs. She had never worn pants before in her life. Her father would never allow it. But Jack had insisted that if she plan on helping around the ship she would have to wear something that wouldn’t constrict her movement. Tying the black scarf Jack got her around her head to her hair out her face, Angeline took a breath and headed for the deck. She hated the way that everyone was looking at her. All the men on board had stopped what they were doing and there was total silence. Elizabeth didn’t look too shocked but still she was staring. Angeline looked around for her father.
*snicker* Chocolate orbs! And look, sex.
Angeline went to Jack’s cabin to talk. She wanted to know what Calintz had meant. If Jack truly cared for her as more than just a member of his crew.
"Jack? Captain?" Angeline cautiously entered the cabin.
"What’s up lass?" Jack said. He was standing in the dark corner of the cabin, as he walked out into Angeline’s view she had to bit back a gasp or any other reaction that might embarrass her. He was standing there, in all his glory wearing nothing but his pants and make shift belt. Angeline attempted to avert her gaze from his well-toned chest, but it was in vain.
"I had, umm, wondered if you had any rum?" Angeline rushed out bringing her eyes to meet his. There was a spark of something in his chocolate orbs, but it disappeared as soon as it appeared.
"Aye." Jack picked up a bottle and moved to stand in front of Angeline. "Here ye go." Handing her the bottle Angeline quickly took a gulp. She inhaled sharply as the liquid seared down her throat, burning along her insides. "Easy there lass." Jack’s hand moved to her waist as he tried to keep her steady.
"That was new." Angeline cradled the bottle to her chest while her other hand helped to steady herself pressing against Jack’s chest. Angeline stared at her hand, his skin was smooth and sun-kissed and firm to the touch. Angeline’s delicate fingers traced along the sea of scars covering his abdomen.
"What happened?" She whispered. Jack’s once welcoming eyes clouded to a dark brown that was almost black.
"Troubled childhood." Was the short reply. Angeline placed the bottle on the table beside her and brought her other hand to his face.
"Still perfect." She murmured before being as bold as she could be and kissing him. He was unresponsive at first, as if shocked that she had been so forward. But soon he was returning her passion with force. Angeline’s hands wrapped themselves in his hair while Jack held her close to him with her hips. Her hips were rubbing against his and she could tell that there was more than simple care for a member of the crew. It was the care for a woman. Jack broke the kiss as they both needed air. Looking straight into her eyes she could see he was questioning what she wanted.
"Jack, I want you to find out just where that spot that ‘gets me going’ is." Jack knew what she meant. And within minutes she was under his perfect form, on his bed, screaming out his name.
sister!Sue takes center stage... to angst
As night fell, Calintz felt the pull at her heart. She got up off the sofa in the sitting room and looked into the kitchen. The candle was no longer burning; meaning Jack had either passed out or had headed off to sleep. Quietly she left the house and headed into the cemetery joined to the garden. It had been three years since she last visited the island. But she hadn’t been to see the grave. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. There were fresh lilies on the grave as she sat in front of it. Looking at the fading name and the little message she had begged Jack to have she felt the hot tears sting at her face. Her mother had made her promise to keep away from pirates. To be a proper lady, and marry a nice man whom could provide for her. But she had been more like her father than anyone had thought possible. Calintz knew why she wasn’t to be like her father; he ad lied to his wife. Beat his only son and tried to do the same to his daughter. Her mother had never forgiven him for that. She had always said she was a widow that her husband had died on the journey from England, in a sense it was true. The man she had married didn’t exist anymore. He had been a pirate; he had been thought to be different from other pirates. Not the cruel hearted man that pirates were thought to be, but still no one knew save his family. He was just like the cold-hearted villains that people believe pirates to be. Calintz knew that her mother wanted her to stay away from pirates. But she had ended up becoming one, and her brother. It seemed to run in the family.
"I’m sorry mother, but I couldn’t do it." She let the tears roll, not brushing them away. "But, it was too hard not to. You couldn’t expect me to live here. Not really. Not like that, I would have been miserable. A hollow shell." She took in a shaky breath. "You always said I was a rebel. I didn’t come to see you last time. But I was here, could you feel me? I came to see Sarah; she’s doing better. I doubt she’ll have much time left." Calintz felt the wind whip at her hair, some of the beads she had lashed at her face, leaving a small slash that bled. There was a roar of thunder and a hand clamped down on Cal’s shoulder.
"What ye doing sis?" Jack asked. Calintz turned and saw that he was still sober, which surprised her.
"Just talking to mother." Jack raised and eyebrow. "Okay, so I’m apologising. Is that a crime?"
"Tis for a pirate." Jack stated simply.
"So is falling in love." Calintz snipped back. She knew how much Jack tried not to show his emotions. And he knew how well he could read her, or at least he should by now.
"That was below the belt luv." Jack stated quietly.
"Well so was yours. You know how much I want her to know that I’m sorry, you know how hard it was for me. How much I tried to ignore it. And if ye can’t remember then ye’ve taken to many blows tae that thick skull of yours." Calintz pulled her shoulder out of Jack’s hand. Jack sighed but made no move to take back what he said. Cal knew that he thought she was stupid, the way she thought that Kathryn Wilson could still hear her daughter speak to her. But Cal thought that it was the only way she could make amends. Calintz suddenly loathed her brother’s presence. "Do us all a favour Jack, tell the lass. Before ye break her. Put yer pride to the side long enough to let the girl in." Calintz walked away from Jack, her hair dancing behind her. It took her five minutes to realise she had walked in the wrong direction. Instead of heading back to Sarah’s she was heading into the town. Well that suited her fine, Jack wasn’t in the town, he’d leave her be for a while. There’d be no point in angering her further; she’d likely enough kill him.
evil!Norrington deals with sister!Sue. Does this make a modicum of sense to anyone?
"How can you ask that of me?" Calintz stood, causing the chair to fall to the hard wood floor.
"Miss Wilson it was you who offered the proposition in the first place, I am mearly making my request, otherwise, the Black Pearl will be burnt and Mr Cobbs’ ship will be called for. Both you and Miss Ward will be handed over to a fate decided by the pirate and the girl’s father. And Sparrow and Turner will be hung in Port Royal." Norrington said calmly not even looking at her. Calintz saw the man that Jack had described to her the night they had talked aboard the Pearl. When she had asked how he met Will and Elizabeth, and how he got the Pearl back. He wasn’t a noble Navy man with a temper, like Elizabeth had said. He was a ruthless man who would stop at nothing to get Jack in a noose. And Calintz didn’t want to be any part of that.
"What about another deal? Make another request. Please, you can’t ask that of me." Calintz was almost desperate. She didn’t want to do anything that would cause Jack’s trust to falter any further.
"And just why wouldn’t you want to do this? You’re a pirate are you not?" Norrington turned to her now. Face cold and expressionless. "I am asking one thing of you. I am requesting you to do something that is your nature. And in return I am giving to you your freedom and the last pirate ship that is of any real threat to the navel fleet." Norrington snarled at her. "Just why can’t you do this?"
"You are asking me to kill one of my friends, and make it look like Jack did it. I refuse to murder the girl, and I refuse to help you in this perspective. Angeline and I would find a way to avade Cobbs, and Jack has escaped from the gallows many a times. What makes you think this time will be any different?" Calintz marched towards Norrington, letting her rage show.
"Because this time my dear, Jack Sparrow will have his legs broken previous to the hanging, and Turner may just have his arm broken, thus making it impossible for them to escape. And as for yourself and Miss Ward, as far as I am aware Mr Cobbs plans to kill you at first sight, and then you shall be of now help to Miss Ward at all." Norrington considered for a moment. "Alright, since it’s the girl you’re worried about, I won’t have you kill her, one of the guards perhaps, then I will be able to shoot Sparrow and hang Turner, although I would rather see them bother hang, I would make do with just one." Calintz felt the colour drain from her face.
"What about another deal entirely?" Calintz said. "What about if you let Jack and Will go with Angeline and Elizabeth? And you get something else in return?" Calintz knew she was selling her soul. But for Jack and the others to be safe it was worth it.
"And just what would be better than hanging Sparrow and Turner?" Norrington asked sneering at her. She already knew that he would accept her offer, she figured he was just like a pirate, a Navy man with a dark side. But he liked the authority that came with the uniform and title, she had meet his kind, and loathed them.
"You get me." Calintz saw the feral smile on his face. "As a willing captive." Norrington knew what that meant. And she was proved right. The wolf in sheep’s clothing nodded.
"Done."
TITLE: Pirates of the Caribbean: the Jewel of Deception
CULPRIT: DemonicLittleGirl Indeed.
SUMMARY: "COMPLETED! Warning! Dark content in later chapters! Jack goes in search of some lost treasure, and finds a completely different treasure. JackOC WillElizabeth Plz RR!"
BEST LINE: "[Jack's] chocolate eyes were glazed and he seemed somewhat troubled." This wasn't really the most absurd line, but I thought I'd feature it since it gave me a major junk food craving.
THE VERDICT
It's a short drop and a sudden stop for you.
Sue #1
NAME: Angeline Ward
EYES: sparkling blue eyes
HAIR: "raven-haired" "pure black hair cupped at her face" I have no idea what exactly that's supposed to mean.
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: "the light from the sky cast against her face it gave her an unearthly glow" People insist on continually saying that she's aptly named since she's so angelic *vomit*.
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: A "small pinkish rock on a silver chain" that she picked up at the "Dark Coves" which is the titular "Jewel of Deception".
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: She's the daughter of some random plot contrivance named Mr. Ward who helps Jack find a new crew after the author conveniently gets rid of the old crew. Apparently, she was also kidnapped by pirates when she was six. Why? Just so she can have met Bootstrap Bill.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: Jack's one true love. Friends with Will and Elizabeth.
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: She possesses the Jewel of Deception: "It is a jewel that is thought to have been in the possession of the sea queen Nidia, before her corruption by Neptune. The sea God had wanted Nidia’s kingdom but that’s not the point. The jewel is supposed to hold all of Nidia’s powers. Including that to control the waters and the power to heal all life." I consider Nidia a bonus!Sue.
Sue #2
NAME: Calintz Sparrow
EYES: "warm chocolate colour"
HAIR: "pure black and braided in much the same fashion as Jack’s"
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: "her demeanour, her nature, the way she held herself, it was all similar to Jack." Being a female version of Jack, down to "the same drunken swagger".
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: none
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: She's conveniently with the crew of Captain Cobbs, an evil pirate, so that she may defect and join Jack on the Black Pearl.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: Jack's younger sister.
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: Being descended from Neptune. Yes, you read that right.
NOTES: Jack and sister!Sue are descended from Neptune. I felt that bore repeating.
Besides Suedom of the nth degree, the author is also guilty of sending people to the Wasteland of Forgotten Characters (tm Pottersues), making Jack talk in that stupid faux pirate accent, perpetuating the lie of evil!Norrington, having the Black Pearl plan to sail to Europe (didn't piratesues have a rant about such silliness?), and innumerable counts of canon-rape. Oh and the only bit of sailing knowledge she seems to have has to do with ships "dropping mast"... I'm no expert and tell me if I'm wrong, but I think she meant dropping sails.
I'm going to tell you the story. The whole story. Some madness drove me to read the entire 35 chapters. And now I must share that harrowing experience with you.
Will has decided to go with Jack on a random pillaging because he's been banished from Port Royal for trying to save Jack from being hung. The author has gotten rid of all of the named members of Jack's crew: Anamaria, Mr. Gibbs, and Cotton, so that twuwuv!Sue's father can be required to round Jack up a new crew at the cost of sailing on the Black Pearl with him and bringing along twuwuv!Sue. The Black Pearl goes to Port Royal for supplies or something and Will picks up Elizabeth and gets her to run away with him, so that the author can make evil!Norrington give chase in his "navel ship". This particular evil!Norrington doesn't just want to kill Jack and Will and make Elizabeth marry him. He's also a glory-hog obsessed with getting rid of the last great pirate threat in the Caribbean since it would be such a great accomplishment. *sigh*
Anyway, Jack and crew are sailing the "Dark Waters" to get to the "Dark Coves" where I'm guessing there was supposed to be some "dark treasure" or something. All it did was make me think this might be a crossover with that cartoon: The Pirates of Dark Water. I used to like that show. Anyway, as it turns out it's all a trap set up by twuwuv!Sue's evil father to marry her off to her for his debts. This falls through because twuwuv!Sue and Jack lie and say they've slept together since the pirate captain wanted her "untouched". The evil pirates are so up in arms about this that they don't notice when Jack and company leave... since the only real reason for that whole digression was to pick up sister!Sue who serves as a Yenta Sue for Jack and twuwuv!Sue.
There's some chasing of the Black Pearl by the evil pirates, who wish to kill sister!Sue, and evil!Norrington, who wants to kill Jack and Will, but they're staved off by a storm that twuwuv!Sue unwittingly conjures up. Elizabeth is struck "ill" by Contrivance, so they sail to the "Isle of Hallow" which is apparently supposed to be Jack and his sister!Sue's home. Elizabeth is, predicatably, pregnant. Their stay on the "Isle of Hallow" goes on and on, the Sues angst and angst, I get more and more bored. Everyone's captured by evil!Norrington who for some reason agrees to let everyone go in exchange for sister!Sue. Then the fic goes on and on and on and on and I begin to think it will never end and it goes on and on and on and I scream "When will it end?!" and it persists in going on and on and on.
sister!Sue is tortured and raped by the evil pirate captain and then, somehow, a week later, knows that she's pregnant. Jack kills evil!Norrington and has his injuries healed by twuwuv!Sue with her l33t godd3z powahz which also gives them a magical soulbond or some shit and puts him in a coma, for no apparent reason. When he wakes up he goes and kills the evil pirate captain and rescues sister!Sue who is comatose for a while but twuwuv!Sue doesn't heal her. I guess because sister!Sue killed twuwuv!Sue's evil father thus causing twuwuv!Sue to angst about Jack loving his sister!Sue more than her. Then, the author gets "inspired" by Lord of the Rings and has twuwuv!Sue pull a Gollum/Smeagol and start talking to herself about her angst. They find a doctor to tend to sister!Sue so that the author has an excuse to phonetically write out a "German" accent that's even more annoying than Jack's pirate-speak. twuwuv!Sue is possessed by Nidia through the Jewel of Deception. She then tries to kill sister!Sue as revenge on Neptune for stealing the seas from her. *sigh* Jack knocks her out, everyone lets her wake back up so that they can spend another chapter trying to knock her out again in order to get the Jewel of Deception from her. A random boy they picked up from the evil pirates gets killed in this endeavour so that sister!Sue can angst about how it should have been her. sister!Sue decides to stay on Tortuga, Will and Elizabeth all of a sudden decide that Governor Swann can pull some strings so that Will won't be hung upon return to Port Royal so that they can be married there, and the fic ends on this sickening line: "Captain Jack Sparrow had his Pearl, his rum, his freedom and something that few pirates could ever claim to have achieved. Love."
I need brain-bleach.
Oh, and the most frightening part? There's a sequel:
Pirates of the Caribbean: Neptunes BloodLine
Summary: "My sequel to Jewel of Deception. What happens when another heir to another God enters the scene? JSOC ESWT slight JackAna in later chapters."
EXCERPT:
twuwuv!Sue appears, and there's porny talk of her ass
Next morning Jack and Will were standing in front of six men. Ward had said they were the only ones who were decent enough to go anywhere.
“Ah suppose they’ll do. Six of ‘em plus you makes seven and that’ll be jus’ fine.” Jack said looking at the new additions to his crew.
“Actually Jack, there’ll be eight of us. Me daughter. Ah just can’t leave her here.” Alex Ward looked almost desperately at Jack.
“Can she sail?” Will asked.
“Aye, she can handle a ship about as well as I can. Taught ‘er everything ah know.” Jack looked almost thoughtful. “Here Jack. Let me introduce you to her. Angel!” A young woman who was sitting on the dock letting her feet bathe in the water stood up and walked towards Ward.
“Yes father.” The girl wore a loose dress that fell to her ankles. the waist hugged her body showing off her smooth curves and tight butt.
“Jack Sparrow, this is my daughter, Angeline Ward. Angeline this is Captain Jack Sparrow.” Angeline smiled.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Captain Sparrow.” Jack grinned.
“Pleasures all mine luv. alright, she can come.” Jack nodded his head dramatically and quickly turned on his heal. “Right! Load up the Pearl.” Will started helping get the crates of food, rum and gun powder loaded up. to his surprise Angeline helped to lift a particularly heavy crate. smiling at him they heaved it and threw it into the boat to get hoisted up to the ship. Angeline turned to Will.
“I’m Angeline Ward.” She offered her hand.
“Will Turner.” Will took the offered hand and shook it. “Welcome to the Pearl.” She smiled wider and Will had to smile back. It would appear that she was well named.
More talk of twuwuv!Sue's ass, as everyone stares at it. This must be some sort of fetish with the author.
Angeline was standing in front of a battered up mirror in the small cabin that she and Elizabeth were to share. She had been trying on the new clothes that Jack had bought for her. There was no way her father would allow her to walk around like this. Instead of her plain dress she was now wearing a crimson red shirt that was too big for her and a pair of tight black pants. The shirt held loosely together at the neck by some black string and the pants clung to her like a second skin, showing her shapely butt and well toned thighs. She had never worn pants before in her life. Her father would never allow it. But Jack had insisted that if she plan on helping around the ship she would have to wear something that wouldn’t constrict her movement. Tying the black scarf Jack got her around her head to her hair out her face, Angeline took a breath and headed for the deck. She hated the way that everyone was looking at her. All the men on board had stopped what they were doing and there was total silence. Elizabeth didn’t look too shocked but still she was staring. Angeline looked around for her father.
*snicker* Chocolate orbs! And look, sex.
Angeline went to Jack’s cabin to talk. She wanted to know what Calintz had meant. If Jack truly cared for her as more than just a member of his crew.
"Jack? Captain?" Angeline cautiously entered the cabin.
"What’s up lass?" Jack said. He was standing in the dark corner of the cabin, as he walked out into Angeline’s view she had to bit back a gasp or any other reaction that might embarrass her. He was standing there, in all his glory wearing nothing but his pants and make shift belt. Angeline attempted to avert her gaze from his well-toned chest, but it was in vain.
"I had, umm, wondered if you had any rum?" Angeline rushed out bringing her eyes to meet his. There was a spark of something in his chocolate orbs, but it disappeared as soon as it appeared.
"Aye." Jack picked up a bottle and moved to stand in front of Angeline. "Here ye go." Handing her the bottle Angeline quickly took a gulp. She inhaled sharply as the liquid seared down her throat, burning along her insides. "Easy there lass." Jack’s hand moved to her waist as he tried to keep her steady.
"That was new." Angeline cradled the bottle to her chest while her other hand helped to steady herself pressing against Jack’s chest. Angeline stared at her hand, his skin was smooth and sun-kissed and firm to the touch. Angeline’s delicate fingers traced along the sea of scars covering his abdomen.
"What happened?" She whispered. Jack’s once welcoming eyes clouded to a dark brown that was almost black.
"Troubled childhood." Was the short reply. Angeline placed the bottle on the table beside her and brought her other hand to his face.
"Still perfect." She murmured before being as bold as she could be and kissing him. He was unresponsive at first, as if shocked that she had been so forward. But soon he was returning her passion with force. Angeline’s hands wrapped themselves in his hair while Jack held her close to him with her hips. Her hips were rubbing against his and she could tell that there was more than simple care for a member of the crew. It was the care for a woman. Jack broke the kiss as they both needed air. Looking straight into her eyes she could see he was questioning what she wanted.
"Jack, I want you to find out just where that spot that ‘gets me going’ is." Jack knew what she meant. And within minutes she was under his perfect form, on his bed, screaming out his name.
sister!Sue takes center stage... to angst
As night fell, Calintz felt the pull at her heart. She got up off the sofa in the sitting room and looked into the kitchen. The candle was no longer burning; meaning Jack had either passed out or had headed off to sleep. Quietly she left the house and headed into the cemetery joined to the garden. It had been three years since she last visited the island. But she hadn’t been to see the grave. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. There were fresh lilies on the grave as she sat in front of it. Looking at the fading name and the little message she had begged Jack to have she felt the hot tears sting at her face. Her mother had made her promise to keep away from pirates. To be a proper lady, and marry a nice man whom could provide for her. But she had been more like her father than anyone had thought possible. Calintz knew why she wasn’t to be like her father; he ad lied to his wife. Beat his only son and tried to do the same to his daughter. Her mother had never forgiven him for that. She had always said she was a widow that her husband had died on the journey from England, in a sense it was true. The man she had married didn’t exist anymore. He had been a pirate; he had been thought to be different from other pirates. Not the cruel hearted man that pirates were thought to be, but still no one knew save his family. He was just like the cold-hearted villains that people believe pirates to be. Calintz knew that her mother wanted her to stay away from pirates. But she had ended up becoming one, and her brother. It seemed to run in the family.
"I’m sorry mother, but I couldn’t do it." She let the tears roll, not brushing them away. "But, it was too hard not to. You couldn’t expect me to live here. Not really. Not like that, I would have been miserable. A hollow shell." She took in a shaky breath. "You always said I was a rebel. I didn’t come to see you last time. But I was here, could you feel me? I came to see Sarah; she’s doing better. I doubt she’ll have much time left." Calintz felt the wind whip at her hair, some of the beads she had lashed at her face, leaving a small slash that bled. There was a roar of thunder and a hand clamped down on Cal’s shoulder.
"What ye doing sis?" Jack asked. Calintz turned and saw that he was still sober, which surprised her.
"Just talking to mother." Jack raised and eyebrow. "Okay, so I’m apologising. Is that a crime?"
"Tis for a pirate." Jack stated simply.
"So is falling in love." Calintz snipped back. She knew how much Jack tried not to show his emotions. And he knew how well he could read her, or at least he should by now.
"That was below the belt luv." Jack stated quietly.
"Well so was yours. You know how much I want her to know that I’m sorry, you know how hard it was for me. How much I tried to ignore it. And if ye can’t remember then ye’ve taken to many blows tae that thick skull of yours." Calintz pulled her shoulder out of Jack’s hand. Jack sighed but made no move to take back what he said. Cal knew that he thought she was stupid, the way she thought that Kathryn Wilson could still hear her daughter speak to her. But Cal thought that it was the only way she could make amends. Calintz suddenly loathed her brother’s presence. "Do us all a favour Jack, tell the lass. Before ye break her. Put yer pride to the side long enough to let the girl in." Calintz walked away from Jack, her hair dancing behind her. It took her five minutes to realise she had walked in the wrong direction. Instead of heading back to Sarah’s she was heading into the town. Well that suited her fine, Jack wasn’t in the town, he’d leave her be for a while. There’d be no point in angering her further; she’d likely enough kill him.
evil!Norrington deals with sister!Sue. Does this make a modicum of sense to anyone?
"How can you ask that of me?" Calintz stood, causing the chair to fall to the hard wood floor.
"Miss Wilson it was you who offered the proposition in the first place, I am mearly making my request, otherwise, the Black Pearl will be burnt and Mr Cobbs’ ship will be called for. Both you and Miss Ward will be handed over to a fate decided by the pirate and the girl’s father. And Sparrow and Turner will be hung in Port Royal." Norrington said calmly not even looking at her. Calintz saw the man that Jack had described to her the night they had talked aboard the Pearl. When she had asked how he met Will and Elizabeth, and how he got the Pearl back. He wasn’t a noble Navy man with a temper, like Elizabeth had said. He was a ruthless man who would stop at nothing to get Jack in a noose. And Calintz didn’t want to be any part of that.
"What about another deal? Make another request. Please, you can’t ask that of me." Calintz was almost desperate. She didn’t want to do anything that would cause Jack’s trust to falter any further.
"And just why wouldn’t you want to do this? You’re a pirate are you not?" Norrington turned to her now. Face cold and expressionless. "I am asking one thing of you. I am requesting you to do something that is your nature. And in return I am giving to you your freedom and the last pirate ship that is of any real threat to the navel fleet." Norrington snarled at her. "Just why can’t you do this?"
"You are asking me to kill one of my friends, and make it look like Jack did it. I refuse to murder the girl, and I refuse to help you in this perspective. Angeline and I would find a way to avade Cobbs, and Jack has escaped from the gallows many a times. What makes you think this time will be any different?" Calintz marched towards Norrington, letting her rage show.
"Because this time my dear, Jack Sparrow will have his legs broken previous to the hanging, and Turner may just have his arm broken, thus making it impossible for them to escape. And as for yourself and Miss Ward, as far as I am aware Mr Cobbs plans to kill you at first sight, and then you shall be of now help to Miss Ward at all." Norrington considered for a moment. "Alright, since it’s the girl you’re worried about, I won’t have you kill her, one of the guards perhaps, then I will be able to shoot Sparrow and hang Turner, although I would rather see them bother hang, I would make do with just one." Calintz felt the colour drain from her face.
"What about another deal entirely?" Calintz said. "What about if you let Jack and Will go with Angeline and Elizabeth? And you get something else in return?" Calintz knew she was selling her soul. But for Jack and the others to be safe it was worth it.
"And just what would be better than hanging Sparrow and Turner?" Norrington asked sneering at her. She already knew that he would accept her offer, she figured he was just like a pirate, a Navy man with a dark side. But he liked the authority that came with the uniform and title, she had meet his kind, and loathed them.
"You get me." Calintz saw the feral smile on his face. "As a willing captive." Norrington knew what that meant. And she was proved right. The wolf in sheep’s clothing nodded.
"Done."