Anna Cunnington
Here's the second Sue I promised. Forgive me.
TITLE: In the Life of Anna Cunnington
CULPRIT: Agey Again.
SUMMARY: "Penniless Anna Cunnington lives on the streets of Port Royal. In the midst of her days on the streets and corners, she has experienced much. But something unexpected happens to Anna. She is engulfed in a life of piracy and love. JackAnna"
BEST LINE: "Why Anna, you are quite the gypsy. With your insane garb. Any woman would think twice before wearing such a display of colors. Who in their right mind would wear a purple corset atop a white blouse? As to my understanding, corsets are to be worn on the inside. And anyone whom is sane would agree that such jewelry is a sure sign of witchery. And if not witchery than insanity." - Commodore James Norrington, Fashionista
THE VERDICT
Walk the plank, bitch.
NAME: Anna Cunnington
EYES: not described
HAIR: not described
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Uhm... she's wearing a purple corset over a white blouse, and accessorizing with garish jewelry.
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: none
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: She's been living "penniless" on the streets of Port Royal. Norrington thinks she's a gypsy, but apparently, she's the daughter of Governor Cunnington of Port Williams.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: Jack's One Twu Wuv. Will pities her and comforts her when they're all arrested.
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: None so far.
NOTES: Remember the absurd anachronistic dialogue from the previous Sue? Well, this is at the opposite end of the spectrum. This time Ms. Agey tries waaaay too hard for period-appropriate dialogue. It stinks of someone who ran everything through the thesaurus at Dictionary.com then picked out "smart sounding" words to replace mundane ones, the issue being that she had absolutely no idea what those smart words meant. Also, she goes through the entire four chapters, with much dialogue, and never once uses "said" as an attribution. Said-bookisms are teh 3bil.
Though, there's evil!Norrington (the bane of my existence), the canon-rape isn't as severe as last time. Though, what could be? It really doesn't make much sense, considering that since Will and Jack know each other it must take place after the movie, yet we still have this same stupid issue where Norrington desperately wants to arrest Jack and Will. Also, he buys Elizabeth's whole "I'll marry you" thing again.
I showed this one to my mother, fellow PotC fan and the person from whom I inherited my hatred for all things subpar. She had some comments. I've included them in the first excerpt.
Oh, I almost forgot. calico321 and visp, Elizabeth refers to her "fiancée" in chapter four. Make of that what you will.
EXCERPT:
Hello there! Well, this is my first story! I hope you enjoy it!
A/N: I do not own these characters except and Anna and whomever else are not in POTC. And yada, yada, yada.
Chapter 1: Confrontations and Accusations
"May I ask; have you actually ever bestowed eyes upon a pirate?" Mama!PotCSues: "I should hope that she's never gouged out someone's eyes and given them to a pirate. That's disgusting." Commodore Norrington of Port Royal questioned.
"No, I can't say that I have, Commodore," I retorted. The Commodore looked at me in disbelief with just a hint of disgust.
I reached out my hand, gesturing for him to help me up from the dusty grounds of the street. He hesitated, sighed, and grabbed my hand. I stood up, the top of my forehead reaching the tip of his chin. He wiped off his hand on a handkerchief that was placed in the pocket of his attire. I brushed off my black skirt and looked him boldly in the eyes.
"Why would you inquire such a question?" I tilted my head, pondering. Why would the Commodore come up to me, a penniless woman, and ask such a bizarre question.
"My business is my own, but, I believe an exception is in order. The governor and I are searching for a pirate upon Port Royal. It is said that he had spoken with a gypsy... near William Turner's blacksmith shop," he paused, tilted his head and arched an eyebrow. "Isn't remarkable that we found a gypsy, nigh this wonderful blacksmith shop? Oh and would you look at that, it just so happens to be owned by William Turner. Can you take a probable guess as to whom this gypsy is?" I did not appreciate the sarcasm or the accusation.
"You know Commodore, for one as brilliant as you, you can be quite obtuse. It is remarkable that you found a gypsy nigh this blacksmith shop. Mama!PotCSues: "Since she's so nigh Will's shop why doesn't she go in so that Will can take a cue from your icon. But I can't say that I have ever seen one here before," I hastily rejoinder.
"Why Anna, you are quite the gypsy. With your insane garb. Any woman would think twice before wearing such a display of colors. Who in their right mind would wear a purple corset atop a white blouse? As to my understanding, corsets are to be worn on the inside. And anyone whom is sane would agree that such jewelry is a sure sign of witchery. And if not witchery than insanity.
"I do believe that lying to the Commodore of this port is not right with the law, especially such a severe lie as this. You aided in the hiding of Captain Jack Sparrow. Although, Jack will not be in hiding for long. I am under strict rule to barricade you in the jail of Port Royal after you inform us where he is hiding. If you refuse, which I doubt you will, you will be hung aside your dear friend Jack," as he said the word 'hung', a satisfied smile came about his forbidding face.
"How dare you judge and threaten me. I am no gypsy. I apologize for not having a vast amount of clothing. In fact, these are without doubt the only clothes that I possess. And how I where my clothes does not define my profession or who I am. If that is what you would designate a gypsy nevertheless.
"Even if I do know where Jack Sparrow is, I would never tell the likes of you. And if being hung is my punishment, than so be it. But I do not see any assistance as to catching me," I declare. A devilish smirk approaches his face. My eyes widen as four red coats take stand beside him. Mama!PotCSues: "Why are objects of clothing and facial expressions moving independently down the street?" I hesitate, but regain my thoughts. I quickly alter to run. I turn the corner as fast as my stout legs will allow. Places to hide sketch through my mind. I rapidly think of somewhere to go. "I know just the place," I smile.
Chapter Three: Mourning
The three of us sit on the floor of the cell, gazing down. Will is most likely thinking about the friends he'll never see again and the swords he'll never get to finish. But I can see in his eyes, that show so much emotion, whom he is truly thinking about. The love of his life is etched into his mind. A single tear falls from his soft brown eyes. A tear for Elizabeth. My heart melts.
I crawl over and lay my head on his shoulder. He places his arm around me and we cry together.
I cry for the love I will never experience, the family that I will never have. And the life that was such a waste. Norrington's words beat down in my mind. 'You are the filth of this port.' I cry even harder, for my heart knows it's true.
I glance at Jack. His tri-cornered hat is drawn over his coal-lined eyes. I wonder whom he mourns for, or if he mourns at all. He probably mourns over the rum he'll never drink and the wenches he'll never have. Or maybe, just maybe, he mourns for his crew and his beautiful ship. The Black Pearl was an amazing ship. Will always told me that it was a ship of freedom. A kind of freedom that I will never encounter.
I hear Jack clear his throat. Perhaps he is trying to grasp his tears. I call to him. "Jack?"
He takes a minute to respond. "Yes, luv?"
"Come here. Please?" I plea. He glances at me, seeming to be surprised. "Please?" He removes his hat, stands up with his head still held down, and sets beside me. He looks down at me. I look him in the eyes. "Don't be afraid, Jack. If you need to cry, please do so. It helps, Sweetie," I gingerly express.
"Thanks for caring, luv. But pirates don't cry."
"Jack, everyone cries. I'm crying and you yourself called me a pirate," Will enlightened.
"Yes, but ye be a sap, Will."
"I like men who are saps," I smile. Probably my final one before my death wish. My smile quickly fades at the thought. "I can't believe that I am to die tomorrow. I am only eighteen. I want a family and an undying love," I cry.
"Well, at least we will be together," A remorseful smile comes to William's face as he yet again attempts to brighten the moment. "I know what you feel, Anna. I have a shop that will be let run down for no one will tend to it. And most of all, I am in love with someone whom I will never see again. Even though she could never love me back. But I guess I'll never know, now will I?"
"I have a ship that will 'ave no captain. A crew with no captain, most of all. I must die with the fact tha' I never had loved or was ever loved at all," Jack sighed, tears caught tight in his throat, "I did nothing with meself."
"Oh Jack, don't say that. You are a remarkable person. You have my love. Even if it is the love of a friend," Will solaced. He directed his attention towards me. "Anna, I wished I had known you better."
"And, I," Jack added. "You are quite a woman, Anna. My kind a woman."
"Thank you," I whispered. Tears caught in my throat as well. Jack placed his arm around me where Will's had once rested. I laid my head on his shoulder this time. His strength was comforting. "Jack, you smell of the sea," I breathed in his scent. "It smells sweet and fresh."
"Thanks, luv. You smell of sweet plums. My favorite fruit," he smiled. I love his smile. Something draws me to him. I cried into his chest. His grip grew tighter. He pulled me into a cuddle. I don't know what it was; maybe the fact that we were to meet our destiny tomorrow, but Captain Jack Sparrow shed tears.
Oh, and this is attached to the last chapter:
"A/N: Guys, you're killing me! I need some reviews. I don't freakin' care if you hate the damn story. Please criticize! I love it, truly! I need advice. Thanks bunches for those who have. Even if it's only a whole big whoppin' two! But believe me, I'm the utmost appreciative!"
I wanted to... but I just can't. I'm sure my comments would be considered a flame. Though, I must wonder should people really invite flames in that way?
TITLE: In the Life of Anna Cunnington
CULPRIT: Agey Again.
SUMMARY: "Penniless Anna Cunnington lives on the streets of Port Royal. In the midst of her days on the streets and corners, she has experienced much. But something unexpected happens to Anna. She is engulfed in a life of piracy and love. JackAnna"
BEST LINE: "Why Anna, you are quite the gypsy. With your insane garb. Any woman would think twice before wearing such a display of colors. Who in their right mind would wear a purple corset atop a white blouse? As to my understanding, corsets are to be worn on the inside. And anyone whom is sane would agree that such jewelry is a sure sign of witchery. And if not witchery than insanity." - Commodore James Norrington, Fashionista
THE VERDICT
Walk the plank, bitch.
NAME: Anna Cunnington
EYES: not described
HAIR: not described
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Uhm... she's wearing a purple corset over a white blouse, and accessorizing with garish jewelry.
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: none
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: She's been living "penniless" on the streets of Port Royal. Norrington thinks she's a gypsy, but apparently, she's the daughter of Governor Cunnington of Port Williams.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: Jack's One Twu Wuv. Will pities her and comforts her when they're all arrested.
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: None so far.
NOTES: Remember the absurd anachronistic dialogue from the previous Sue? Well, this is at the opposite end of the spectrum. This time Ms. Agey tries waaaay too hard for period-appropriate dialogue. It stinks of someone who ran everything through the thesaurus at Dictionary.com then picked out "smart sounding" words to replace mundane ones, the issue being that she had absolutely no idea what those smart words meant. Also, she goes through the entire four chapters, with much dialogue, and never once uses "said" as an attribution. Said-bookisms are teh 3bil.
Though, there's evil!Norrington (the bane of my existence), the canon-rape isn't as severe as last time. Though, what could be? It really doesn't make much sense, considering that since Will and Jack know each other it must take place after the movie, yet we still have this same stupid issue where Norrington desperately wants to arrest Jack and Will. Also, he buys Elizabeth's whole "I'll marry you" thing again.
I showed this one to my mother, fellow PotC fan and the person from whom I inherited my hatred for all things subpar. She had some comments. I've included them in the first excerpt.
Oh, I almost forgot. calico321 and visp, Elizabeth refers to her "fiancée" in chapter four. Make of that what you will.
EXCERPT:
Hello there! Well, this is my first story! I hope you enjoy it!
A/N: I do not own these characters except and Anna and whomever else are not in POTC. And yada, yada, yada.
Chapter 1: Confrontations and Accusations
"May I ask; have you actually ever bestowed eyes upon a pirate?" Mama!PotCSues: "I should hope that she's never gouged out someone's eyes and given them to a pirate. That's disgusting." Commodore Norrington of Port Royal questioned.
"No, I can't say that I have, Commodore," I retorted. The Commodore looked at me in disbelief with just a hint of disgust.
I reached out my hand, gesturing for him to help me up from the dusty grounds of the street. He hesitated, sighed, and grabbed my hand. I stood up, the top of my forehead reaching the tip of his chin. He wiped off his hand on a handkerchief that was placed in the pocket of his attire. I brushed off my black skirt and looked him boldly in the eyes.
"Why would you inquire such a question?" I tilted my head, pondering. Why would the Commodore come up to me, a penniless woman, and ask such a bizarre question.
"My business is my own, but, I believe an exception is in order. The governor and I are searching for a pirate upon Port Royal. It is said that he had spoken with a gypsy... near William Turner's blacksmith shop," he paused, tilted his head and arched an eyebrow. "Isn't remarkable that we found a gypsy, nigh this wonderful blacksmith shop? Oh and would you look at that, it just so happens to be owned by William Turner. Can you take a probable guess as to whom this gypsy is?" I did not appreciate the sarcasm or the accusation.
"You know Commodore, for one as brilliant as you, you can be quite obtuse. It is remarkable that you found a gypsy nigh this blacksmith shop. Mama!PotCSues: "Since she's so nigh Will's shop why doesn't she go in so that Will can take a cue from your icon. But I can't say that I have ever seen one here before," I hastily rejoinder.
"Why Anna, you are quite the gypsy. With your insane garb. Any woman would think twice before wearing such a display of colors. Who in their right mind would wear a purple corset atop a white blouse? As to my understanding, corsets are to be worn on the inside. And anyone whom is sane would agree that such jewelry is a sure sign of witchery. And if not witchery than insanity.
"I do believe that lying to the Commodore of this port is not right with the law, especially such a severe lie as this. You aided in the hiding of Captain Jack Sparrow. Although, Jack will not be in hiding for long. I am under strict rule to barricade you in the jail of Port Royal after you inform us where he is hiding. If you refuse, which I doubt you will, you will be hung aside your dear friend Jack," as he said the word 'hung', a satisfied smile came about his forbidding face.
"How dare you judge and threaten me. I am no gypsy. I apologize for not having a vast amount of clothing. In fact, these are without doubt the only clothes that I possess. And how I where my clothes does not define my profession or who I am. If that is what you would designate a gypsy nevertheless.
"Even if I do know where Jack Sparrow is, I would never tell the likes of you. And if being hung is my punishment, than so be it. But I do not see any assistance as to catching me," I declare. A devilish smirk approaches his face. My eyes widen as four red coats take stand beside him. Mama!PotCSues: "Why are objects of clothing and facial expressions moving independently down the street?" I hesitate, but regain my thoughts. I quickly alter to run. I turn the corner as fast as my stout legs will allow. Places to hide sketch through my mind. I rapidly think of somewhere to go. "I know just the place," I smile.
Chapter Three: Mourning
The three of us sit on the floor of the cell, gazing down. Will is most likely thinking about the friends he'll never see again and the swords he'll never get to finish. But I can see in his eyes, that show so much emotion, whom he is truly thinking about. The love of his life is etched into his mind. A single tear falls from his soft brown eyes. A tear for Elizabeth. My heart melts.
I crawl over and lay my head on his shoulder. He places his arm around me and we cry together.
I cry for the love I will never experience, the family that I will never have. And the life that was such a waste. Norrington's words beat down in my mind. 'You are the filth of this port.' I cry even harder, for my heart knows it's true.
I glance at Jack. His tri-cornered hat is drawn over his coal-lined eyes. I wonder whom he mourns for, or if he mourns at all. He probably mourns over the rum he'll never drink and the wenches he'll never have. Or maybe, just maybe, he mourns for his crew and his beautiful ship. The Black Pearl was an amazing ship. Will always told me that it was a ship of freedom. A kind of freedom that I will never encounter.
I hear Jack clear his throat. Perhaps he is trying to grasp his tears. I call to him. "Jack?"
He takes a minute to respond. "Yes, luv?"
"Come here. Please?" I plea. He glances at me, seeming to be surprised. "Please?" He removes his hat, stands up with his head still held down, and sets beside me. He looks down at me. I look him in the eyes. "Don't be afraid, Jack. If you need to cry, please do so. It helps, Sweetie," I gingerly express.
"Thanks for caring, luv. But pirates don't cry."
"Jack, everyone cries. I'm crying and you yourself called me a pirate," Will enlightened.
"Yes, but ye be a sap, Will."
"I like men who are saps," I smile. Probably my final one before my death wish. My smile quickly fades at the thought. "I can't believe that I am to die tomorrow. I am only eighteen. I want a family and an undying love," I cry.
"Well, at least we will be together," A remorseful smile comes to William's face as he yet again attempts to brighten the moment. "I know what you feel, Anna. I have a shop that will be let run down for no one will tend to it. And most of all, I am in love with someone whom I will never see again. Even though she could never love me back. But I guess I'll never know, now will I?"
"I have a ship that will 'ave no captain. A crew with no captain, most of all. I must die with the fact tha' I never had loved or was ever loved at all," Jack sighed, tears caught tight in his throat, "I did nothing with meself."
"Oh Jack, don't say that. You are a remarkable person. You have my love. Even if it is the love of a friend," Will solaced. He directed his attention towards me. "Anna, I wished I had known you better."
"And, I," Jack added. "You are quite a woman, Anna. My kind a woman."
"Thank you," I whispered. Tears caught in my throat as well. Jack placed his arm around me where Will's had once rested. I laid my head on his shoulder this time. His strength was comforting. "Jack, you smell of the sea," I breathed in his scent. "It smells sweet and fresh."
"Thanks, luv. You smell of sweet plums. My favorite fruit," he smiled. I love his smile. Something draws me to him. I cried into his chest. His grip grew tighter. He pulled me into a cuddle. I don't know what it was; maybe the fact that we were to meet our destiny tomorrow, but Captain Jack Sparrow shed tears.
Oh, and this is attached to the last chapter:
"A/N: Guys, you're killing me! I need some reviews. I don't freakin' care if you hate the damn story. Please criticize! I love it, truly! I need advice. Thanks bunches for those who have. Even if it's only a whole big whoppin' two! But believe me, I'm the utmost appreciative!"
I wanted to... but I just can't. I'm sure my comments would be considered a flame. Though, I must wonder should people really invite flames in that way?