"Capitain" Morgane Black [Mary-You #1]
So here we are at the beginning of YouJack week. I'll admit, I'm not that big a fan of second person in the first place. Generally, I find it awkward and just entirely unnecessary. It always strikes me as a gimmick perspective. That said, it takes a skilled writer to convince me otherwise. There aren't that many skilled writers at The Pit of Voles. There seem to be even fewer than normal in the Pirates of the Caribbean section. However, they are out there... and you will not see a one of them this week.
Here's YouJack #1:
TITLE: Run From Me If only I could.
CULPRIT: Nature's Mistake ...Nah. Too easy.
SUMMARY: "JackYou fic. You are a ruthless female pirate, Morgane Black, Princess of the high seas. Then you meet Jack.... But when your first mate steppes back into your life, what will you choose: A life you've been dreaming of or a life you know? Maby PG-13."
BEST LINE: "Finally, Jack and the crew got to see that you where NOT a wittle pewfect gewl, killing almost a dozen people in one battle made sure of THAT."
THE VERDICT
Thsi shot is meant for you, Sue.
NAME: "Capitain" Morgane Black
EYES: not described
HAIR: not described
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: none
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: A ship called The Silence, which sunk, as all ships belonging to Lady Pirates do. All she has left of it is "one of the grips from the wheel" that has an extremely accurate carving of her on it and her name.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: A "dreadded" pirate captain.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: Is Jack's new true love.
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: "you could beat everyone on her ship at any tipe of wrestling, plus pretty mutch any man you had ever met."
THE "PLOT": Of course, Sue's boat sinks. She decides to go down with her ship. She wakes up on the Black Pearl. She does the bravado thing where she threatens Jack with a knife, but he overpowers her. She joins the crew. She cries alone at night. Jack finds her, of course. She tells him the story of how she dressed up in a frilly pink dress one night then slept with her best friend Sam. In the actual flashback it says that "you went [too] far" which implies consent, but Sue acts as though she was raped. Jack comforts her. He assures her that nothing like that will ever happen on the Black Pearl and punctuates this by kissing her. Yeah, Sue logic. Anamaria witnesses this. She finds it humorous. Sue throws a knife at her and threatens her. It's nice to see that Anamaria-bashing is back. Jack tells Anamaria that he was just trying to cheer Sue up. Sue is all of a sudden in love with Jack, so she's crushed by this news. She runs up on deck and melodramatically throws herself into the sea and swims away. No, I'm not kidding.
NOTES: YouJack fics are very draining for me, since I have to expend a lot of energy ignoring the fact that the author is spending chapter after chapter telling me that I'm a Sue.
As for this fic in particular... I have three words:
Spellcheck. Spellcheck. Spellcheck.
EXCERPT:
Paragraphs, people. Paragraphs.
Life on the high seas was rough. You stood at the stern of your ship, The Silence, your pride and joy. "Capitain! Shes takin' in water!" Your first mate, Sam, yelled through the pouring rain, maby if you had listened to him then, you wouldn't had met Jack.... "Keep going." You yelled at him. Thats when the lightning struck, frying up two of your crew members Did it also prepare side dishes? and putting a rowboat-sised hole in the side of your ship. You still stood at the wheel. "Capitain! Help!" Shouted a few of your crew members as they tryed to move rowboats. With a sigh you came and losened enough rowboats for your crew to get off safely, then walk to the wheel again. Because they couldn't have untied a knot themselves? "Capn', Morgane, aren't you coming?" Sam yelled to you. "A good Capitain always goes down with her ship." You turned to him, "Bye, Sammy." You shout, your tears wiped from your face by the rain... Oh, please. *~*~*~*~*
You felt the wood beneth you splinter. You felt your body become enguphed by water. How can I feel my body "enguphed" by water if I have no idea what "enguphed" is? Then you felt no more. *~*~*~*~*
"'Lright, luv?" You slowly came back to your senses and started caughing hard. "Woah, 'salright, there. Calm.... I be Jack Sparrow, now, ye just stay there, I'll be back." You where Here we go with this again. delirious, so that name didn't quite register in your brain at the moment. You felt the warm presence of a body move away, whoever was beside you pulled up a soft comforter. It was then that you realized that you where lieing on a hammock, and a comfy one at that. You decide to figure these things out when you wake up, you where exausted now. You pull the covers up over your head and fall asleep. *~*~*~*~*
You woke up at dawn, as usual. "Sam... get me the... oh..." You sat up, memories flooding back, you had never wanted to hear Sam's annoying blabbing more. The hammock you where sitting on rocked dangerously and you lie down. "There y'are, luv! So slepin' beauty has finally awoken." Came a low male voice from the derection of the door, you didn't quite remember the voice just yet, so years of learning fast reflexes sprang you out of the hammock and you pulled a small dagger out of the bandanna around your head. Pushing it to his throat you said incredibly quickly: "Who are you and where in God's name am I?!?!" You yelled right at his face, he frounes and knockes your dagger away, pins your arms to your sides and puts his face right next to your ear. "Now listen, luv, I saved you. So just calm down and I'll tell you everything." You where wrigling beneth his grasp, it was almost insane, his strenghth, you could beat everyone on her ship at any tipe of wrestling, plus pretty mutch any man you had ever met, but he was holding your arms against your sides like it didn't bother him at all. *rollseyes* He sat you on the hammock and you stop fighting. "Now, I be Capitain Jack Sparrow. I saw you near the ruins of one pretty ship. Ye where clinging te this, you wouldn't let go 'o it." He held up a small oddly-carved peice of wood, you quickly grabed it from his hand, looking carefully at it. It was one of the grips from the wheel of your ship. On the side was an amazingly accurate carving of none other than... you. Beneth that was a carving of your name. See! Another random object to angst over. "So, ye must be Morgane then, I've heard 'o ye." He said, though you couldn't see his face. You look back at him, he was probably the best looking man that you have ever seen, mahogany skin, deep blue eyes, Oh, so this isn't Jack at all. Thank God. I was hoping the poor man could catch a break. I do feel sorry for this guy though. Whoever he is. and black hair from wich hung many-colored beads and other sutch trinkets that make a soft tinkling sound as they bumped together. "Thank you." You whisper as he smiles his goden toothed grin. "Any time, luv." He was staring deep into your eyes and there was an expression that you had never seen in his... "Ahem..." You clear your throat and Jack snappes out of his daze. "Erm... ye be hungry, luv?" He asks, walking towards a wardrobe and starting to rummage through it. "Yes, a bit." You looked down at yourself, noiticing that you where only wearing your black slip, a reminder of what had taken place about a day ago... How convenient. "Well, Anna-maria is taking care 'o that, I sure hope ye like salted pork, 'cause ats pretty much as good as it gets 'ere." He comes back with a shirt, belt and a pair of breeches. "This good enough? 'O course, if you prefer dresses, I think 'eres a few 'ere..." "No! I wear shirts and the like just like any man, the other night.. I-I was just fooling arouned with my first mate, just being idiots as usual." You looked down, not wanting to think about it. "Aye..." Jack came back up to you. "Remember, luv, if ye want te talk, I'm here te listen..." Jack said kindly. "Thank you." You smiled away tears and Jack walked out the door, closing it behind him. You sighed and pushed the thoughts to the back of your mind. You searched arouned and found a changing screen behind your hammock, I'm sure those are in great supply on a pirate ship. set it up and go behind it. Never trust a ship full of men, you had learned that the hard way.
WTF?!
Jack kissed your forehead, more like a father than like a lover, but then he moved down, kissing your closed eyelids, then the tip of your nose, then he managed to finally find your mouth, once again you melted, here you find a pirate off guard. He slowly and hesitantly broke the kiss, smiling, "now, 'ats pretty mutch as bad as it will get 'ere." He whispered. "THAT was BAD?" You ask. Then you heard something, a snicker coming from the door, turning, you saw Annamaria standing, trying to smother her giggles. "Oh, don't mind ME! It was just getting interesting." She said, big grin on her face. Humiliated, you threw a knife that landed about an inch from her face, "the first ones a warning." You mutter icily, Annamaria shot you an eaqually evil glare. With a speed that defied description Anamaria had drawn her cutlass and marched over to you. A scathing remark formed on your lips. You were going to dare her to strike you. You were going to tell her what would happen to her if she tried. You never had a chance. She plunged the sword into your chest before you could utter the first syllable. You felt pain. You felt cold. Then everything went dark.
Anamaria withdrew her sword from the dead woman's body and sheathed it once more.
"I don't give warnings," she said. "Especially not to Sues."
Jack shook his head as if ridding himself of the last vestiges of an unclean thought, as the world around them, and Jack himself, reverted back to its normal state.
"OI! Don't kill each other YET!" Jack said, moveing away and sat cofmartabally Cofmartabally? Cofmartabally!? COFMARTABALLY?!?! *weeps for the future of mankind* on your bed, "okay, now's good... I'M KIDDING!!" He said when both Annamaria and you shot him a look. "Annamaria, Morgane here was sad, I was just trying to cheer her up." Yeah, right. Was he deliberately trying to crush you? If so, he was doing a friggin' good job! You looked at him for a moment, trying to keep the tears from your eyes. "So thats it then?" You whisper, and run. Running out of your room, up the stairs, out on deck, leaving the only person that you had ever loved behind as you swan dived into the freezing water, the water that you somehow knew would take your life, swimming as fast as you could(witch was pretty fast) Yes, we all know. This Sue is superlative at everything. away from the Black Pearl. What.Ev.Er. Dramaqueen.
Jack saw all of this
'Well, that was stupid, Jack. Now Morgane's as good as dead and Annamaria won't stop bugging you. Uhm... Anamaria was bugging him? When? Is this a reference to that time in the movie when she justifiably wanted to know where the hell her boat was? Or is this a reference to within this fic... where she still hasn't bugged him. You just let the only person that you have EVER loved fly away on you. Uhm... he loves her now? Since when? Yeah, great job.' Jack thought, watching you fade int the distance, a Siren from a mortal, your beautiful body treading water untill you completly disappeared. *scoffs* Also, isn't treading water what you do when you're staying in the same place? Otherwise, it's called swimming. Then he jumped after you. Good riddance to both of them.
Here's YouJack #1:
TITLE: Run From Me If only I could.
CULPRIT: Nature's Mistake ...Nah. Too easy.
SUMMARY: "JackYou fic. You are a ruthless female pirate, Morgane Black, Princess of the high seas. Then you meet Jack.... But when your first mate steppes back into your life, what will you choose: A life you've been dreaming of or a life you know? Maby PG-13."
BEST LINE: "Finally, Jack and the crew got to see that you where NOT a wittle pewfect gewl, killing almost a dozen people in one battle made sure of THAT."
THE VERDICT
Thsi shot is meant for you, Sue.
NAME: "Capitain" Morgane Black
EYES: not described
HAIR: not described
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: none
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: A ship called The Silence, which sunk, as all ships belonging to Lady Pirates do. All she has left of it is "one of the grips from the wheel" that has an extremely accurate carving of her on it and her name.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: A "dreadded" pirate captain.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: Is Jack's new true love.
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: "you could beat everyone on her ship at any tipe of wrestling, plus pretty mutch any man you had ever met."
THE "PLOT": Of course, Sue's boat sinks. She decides to go down with her ship. She wakes up on the Black Pearl. She does the bravado thing where she threatens Jack with a knife, but he overpowers her. She joins the crew. She cries alone at night. Jack finds her, of course. She tells him the story of how she dressed up in a frilly pink dress one night then slept with her best friend Sam. In the actual flashback it says that "you went [too] far" which implies consent, but Sue acts as though she was raped. Jack comforts her. He assures her that nothing like that will ever happen on the Black Pearl and punctuates this by kissing her. Yeah, Sue logic. Anamaria witnesses this. She finds it humorous. Sue throws a knife at her and threatens her. It's nice to see that Anamaria-bashing is back. Jack tells Anamaria that he was just trying to cheer Sue up. Sue is all of a sudden in love with Jack, so she's crushed by this news. She runs up on deck and melodramatically throws herself into the sea and swims away. No, I'm not kidding.
NOTES: YouJack fics are very draining for me, since I have to expend a lot of energy ignoring the fact that the author is spending chapter after chapter telling me that I'm a Sue.
As for this fic in particular... I have three words:
Spellcheck. Spellcheck. Spellcheck.
EXCERPT:
Paragraphs, people. Paragraphs.
Life on the high seas was rough. You stood at the stern of your ship, The Silence, your pride and joy. "Capitain! Shes takin' in water!" Your first mate, Sam, yelled through the pouring rain, maby if you had listened to him then, you wouldn't had met Jack.... "Keep going." You yelled at him. Thats when the lightning struck, frying up two of your crew members Did it also prepare side dishes? and putting a rowboat-sised hole in the side of your ship. You still stood at the wheel. "Capitain! Help!" Shouted a few of your crew members as they tryed to move rowboats. With a sigh you came and losened enough rowboats for your crew to get off safely, then walk to the wheel again. Because they couldn't have untied a knot themselves? "Capn', Morgane, aren't you coming?" Sam yelled to you. "A good Capitain always goes down with her ship." You turned to him, "Bye, Sammy." You shout, your tears wiped from your face by the rain... Oh, please. *~*~*~*~*
You felt the wood beneth you splinter. You felt your body become enguphed by water. How can I feel my body "enguphed" by water if I have no idea what "enguphed" is? Then you felt no more. *~*~*~*~*
"'Lright, luv?" You slowly came back to your senses and started caughing hard. "Woah, 'salright, there. Calm.... I be Jack Sparrow, now, ye just stay there, I'll be back." You where Here we go with this again. delirious, so that name didn't quite register in your brain at the moment. You felt the warm presence of a body move away, whoever was beside you pulled up a soft comforter. It was then that you realized that you where lieing on a hammock, and a comfy one at that. You decide to figure these things out when you wake up, you where exausted now. You pull the covers up over your head and fall asleep. *~*~*~*~*
You woke up at dawn, as usual. "Sam... get me the... oh..." You sat up, memories flooding back, you had never wanted to hear Sam's annoying blabbing more. The hammock you where sitting on rocked dangerously and you lie down. "There y'are, luv! So slepin' beauty has finally awoken." Came a low male voice from the derection of the door, you didn't quite remember the voice just yet, so years of learning fast reflexes sprang you out of the hammock and you pulled a small dagger out of the bandanna around your head. Pushing it to his throat you said incredibly quickly: "Who are you and where in God's name am I?!?!" You yelled right at his face, he frounes and knockes your dagger away, pins your arms to your sides and puts his face right next to your ear. "Now listen, luv, I saved you. So just calm down and I'll tell you everything." You where wrigling beneth his grasp, it was almost insane, his strenghth, you could beat everyone on her ship at any tipe of wrestling, plus pretty mutch any man you had ever met, but he was holding your arms against your sides like it didn't bother him at all. *rollseyes* He sat you on the hammock and you stop fighting. "Now, I be Capitain Jack Sparrow. I saw you near the ruins of one pretty ship. Ye where clinging te this, you wouldn't let go 'o it." He held up a small oddly-carved peice of wood, you quickly grabed it from his hand, looking carefully at it. It was one of the grips from the wheel of your ship. On the side was an amazingly accurate carving of none other than... you. Beneth that was a carving of your name. See! Another random object to angst over. "So, ye must be Morgane then, I've heard 'o ye." He said, though you couldn't see his face. You look back at him, he was probably the best looking man that you have ever seen, mahogany skin, deep blue eyes, Oh, so this isn't Jack at all. Thank God. I was hoping the poor man could catch a break. I do feel sorry for this guy though. Whoever he is. and black hair from wich hung many-colored beads and other sutch trinkets that make a soft tinkling sound as they bumped together. "Thank you." You whisper as he smiles his goden toothed grin. "Any time, luv." He was staring deep into your eyes and there was an expression that you had never seen in his... "Ahem..." You clear your throat and Jack snappes out of his daze. "Erm... ye be hungry, luv?" He asks, walking towards a wardrobe and starting to rummage through it. "Yes, a bit." You looked down at yourself, noiticing that you where only wearing your black slip, a reminder of what had taken place about a day ago... How convenient. "Well, Anna-maria is taking care 'o that, I sure hope ye like salted pork, 'cause ats pretty much as good as it gets 'ere." He comes back with a shirt, belt and a pair of breeches. "This good enough? 'O course, if you prefer dresses, I think 'eres a few 'ere..." "No! I wear shirts and the like just like any man, the other night.. I-I was just fooling arouned with my first mate, just being idiots as usual." You looked down, not wanting to think about it. "Aye..." Jack came back up to you. "Remember, luv, if ye want te talk, I'm here te listen..." Jack said kindly. "Thank you." You smiled away tears and Jack walked out the door, closing it behind him. You sighed and pushed the thoughts to the back of your mind. You searched arouned and found a changing screen behind your hammock, I'm sure those are in great supply on a pirate ship. set it up and go behind it. Never trust a ship full of men, you had learned that the hard way.
WTF?!
Jack kissed your forehead, more like a father than like a lover, but then he moved down, kissing your closed eyelids, then the tip of your nose, then he managed to finally find your mouth, once again you melted, here you find a pirate off guard. He slowly and hesitantly broke the kiss, smiling, "now, 'ats pretty mutch as bad as it will get 'ere." He whispered. "THAT was BAD?" You ask. Then you heard something, a snicker coming from the door, turning, you saw Annamaria standing, trying to smother her giggles. "Oh, don't mind ME! It was just getting interesting." She said, big grin on her face. Humiliated, you threw a knife that landed about an inch from her face, "the first ones a warning." You mutter icily, Annamaria shot you an eaqually evil glare. With a speed that defied description Anamaria had drawn her cutlass and marched over to you. A scathing remark formed on your lips. You were going to dare her to strike you. You were going to tell her what would happen to her if she tried. You never had a chance. She plunged the sword into your chest before you could utter the first syllable. You felt pain. You felt cold. Then everything went dark.
Anamaria withdrew her sword from the dead woman's body and sheathed it once more.
"I don't give warnings," she said. "Especially not to Sues."
Jack shook his head as if ridding himself of the last vestiges of an unclean thought, as the world around them, and Jack himself, reverted back to its normal state.
"OI! Don't kill each other YET!" Jack said, moveing away and sat cofmartabally Cofmartabally? Cofmartabally!? COFMARTABALLY?!?! *weeps for the future of mankind* on your bed, "okay, now's good... I'M KIDDING!!" He said when both Annamaria and you shot him a look. "Annamaria, Morgane here was sad, I was just trying to cheer her up." Yeah, right. Was he deliberately trying to crush you? If so, he was doing a friggin' good job! You looked at him for a moment, trying to keep the tears from your eyes. "So thats it then?" You whisper, and run. Running out of your room, up the stairs, out on deck, leaving the only person that you had ever loved behind as you swan dived into the freezing water, the water that you somehow knew would take your life, swimming as fast as you could(witch was pretty fast) Yes, we all know. This Sue is superlative at everything. away from the Black Pearl. What.Ev.Er. Dramaqueen.
Jack saw all of this
'Well, that was stupid, Jack. Now Morgane's as good as dead and Annamaria won't stop bugging you. Uhm... Anamaria was bugging him? When? Is this a reference to that time in the movie when she justifiably wanted to know where the hell her boat was? Or is this a reference to within this fic... where she still hasn't bugged him. You just let the only person that you have EVER loved fly away on you. Uhm... he loves her now? Since when? Yeah, great job.' Jack thought, watching you fade int the distance, a Siren from a mortal, your beautiful body treading water untill you completly disappeared. *scoffs* Also, isn't treading water what you do when you're staying in the same place? Otherwise, it's called swimming. Then he jumped after you. Good riddance to both of them.