i am so fucking lame.
Sooooooo what's a good subject to talk about? Hey, I know! How about my little friend Josh? Mmmkay, super, awesome, sounds good.
My friends tease me about him. (Well, really Audrey, but you know...whatever.) Obviously, they know that he asked me out and they think it's cute and keep asking me when I'm going to "hit it" or they'll be all "hey Stefanie your boyfriend is coming" out in the halls. (Nice.) Well, I guess they think that I might maybe sorta kinda like him back since I'll sometimes be all "hah. this one time on the bus, Josh..." or "it was so funny, me and Josh were talking about..." It's nothing major like I talk about him non-stop or anything, but...you know how friends are. Whatever. Nerds. (I even think Audrey once told me that she has a bet going on when I'm finally going to "hit it", but I could just be making that up...? *ponders*)
Weeeeeeelll...so Sunday night I'm just sitting at my house, listening to Audrey and Jovani on the phone on me about boys and whatnot, and watching "She's All That" and "10 Things I Hate About You" (God, I love those movies) on Comedy Central. Somewhere around the time where Julia Stiles is drunk table dancing at the party and Heath Ledger is hott, I'm wondering "if fucking Laney Boggs can get Zach Siler, THEN WHY CAN'T I?!" Because I push away everyone away and everytime there actually is a dude out there that happens to actually enjoy my weirdness, he's always not good enough or I just freak out and run away, that's why...oh yeah, I forgot. (Also there's that "real life ain't no fairy tale" its-just-a-movie thing too, but that's besides the point.)
Oh and then Josh. The truth is, I really do kind of maybe sorta possibley might...like him. *cough* (SHUT UP.) I don't know...he's such a nerd and his glasses and manerisms. (*cough*FRESHMAN*coughcough*) Aw, but at the same time he's whacky and fun to talk to and just so...Josh. Maybe I just like that he likes me? (Seriously my ego? <------------------------------this big----------------------->) I don't know.
But you know what? I really should just go ahead and "hit it". (<---hee this expression never gets old) It's not like we're getting married or anything. And if I hung out with Josh, then I'd could get all my weirdness towards guys out NOW and then by the time I get to college or whatever, I maybe wouldn't be so gehy. (Is this making any sense?)
Neddless to say, I didn't really sleep much that night. Just because a lot was going through my mind. I thought about asking to go see Harry Potter with me on Friday (since I'm going anyway) and maybe making a move. Whatever.
He didn't come to school yesterday and I was sad. I had no one to talk to on the bus.
Audrey and Jovani want me to go after Richard. It's funny because they always kind just rolled their eyes at me because I though he was hott and they think he's ugly. Then today they were all "You have to get with Richard!" when I told them that I wa sthinking about Josh. Well, I would go for Richard if I actually maybe had a chance with him. We've never talked, but we've had 11th grade English together and we just stare at each other creepily and happen to run into each other all stalkerish all the time. (For the past year and a half, I always though that he thought that I was stalking him and that I was a total creep. Which I wasn't, we just ALWAYS HAPPENED TO BE AT THE SAME PLACE AT THE SAME TIME, especially out of school, and also..the staring. The whole thing is kinda weird actually. But my lovely friends have decided that maybe..it is, in fact, HE who is stalking ME. And that I should just go talk to him in Art Society. Werd. Heh.) Y...eah he's hott. Prowr. Today I went and gave blood this morning because his name was on the sign-up sheet. Flip yes. (Goddammit, no I am not stalking him. This was the first time, I swear.)
Josh was at school today. HURRAY! But then in 3rd, he usualy comes over to talk to me, instead he was talking to his other chick friend. HOly crap, I was kind of surprised at how kind of...jealous I was. (SHUT UP.) Oh and then of course, on the bus ride home, he starts telling me about how he was going to ask this chick out today whom apparently, thinks he's hott, but he didn't run into her before he got on bus today oh noes. Also, there is another chick who thinks he's hott.
NOOOOOO GODDAMN YOU NO NO NO NO NO NO NO MOTHERFUCKER NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
*sigh*
Holy crap. It's 7:00pm and I've been typing this entry since 4:30-ish. Jesus. Whatever. He's freshman anyway. Over it. Gah. *faceplant*
My friends tease me about him. (Well, really Audrey, but you know...whatever.) Obviously, they know that he asked me out and they think it's cute and keep asking me when I'm going to "hit it" or they'll be all "hey Stefanie your boyfriend is coming" out in the halls. (Nice.) Well, I guess they think that I might maybe sorta kinda like him back since I'll sometimes be all "hah. this one time on the bus, Josh..." or "it was so funny, me and Josh were talking about..." It's nothing major like I talk about him non-stop or anything, but...you know how friends are. Whatever. Nerds. (I even think Audrey once told me that she has a bet going on when I'm finally going to "hit it", but I could just be making that up...? *ponders*)
Weeeeeeelll...so Sunday night I'm just sitting at my house, listening to Audrey and Jovani on the phone on me about boys and whatnot, and watching "She's All That" and "10 Things I Hate About You" (God, I love those movies) on Comedy Central. Somewhere around the time where Julia Stiles is drunk table dancing at the party and Heath Ledger is hott, I'm wondering "if fucking Laney Boggs can get Zach Siler, THEN WHY CAN'T I?!" Because I push away everyone away and everytime there actually is a dude out there that happens to actually enjoy my weirdness, he's always not good enough or I just freak out and run away, that's why...oh yeah, I forgot. (Also there's that "real life ain't no fairy tale" its-just-a-movie thing too, but that's besides the point.)
Oh and then Josh. The truth is, I really do kind of maybe sorta possibley might...like him. *cough* (SHUT UP.) I don't know...he's such a nerd and his glasses and manerisms. (*cough*FRESHMAN*coughcough*) Aw, but at the same time he's whacky and fun to talk to and just so...Josh. Maybe I just like that he likes me? (Seriously my ego? <------------------------------this big----------------------->) I don't know.
But you know what? I really should just go ahead and "hit it". (<---hee this expression never gets old) It's not like we're getting married or anything. And if I hung out with Josh, then I'd could get all my weirdness towards guys out NOW and then by the time I get to college or whatever, I maybe wouldn't be so gehy. (Is this making any sense?)
Neddless to say, I didn't really sleep much that night. Just because a lot was going through my mind. I thought about asking to go see Harry Potter with me on Friday (since I'm going anyway) and maybe making a move. Whatever.
He didn't come to school yesterday and I was sad. I had no one to talk to on the bus.
Audrey and Jovani want me to go after Richard. It's funny because they always kind just rolled their eyes at me because I though he was hott and they think he's ugly. Then today they were all "You have to get with Richard!" when I told them that I wa sthinking about Josh. Well, I would go for Richard if I actually maybe had a chance with him. We've never talked, but we've had 11th grade English together and we just stare at each other creepily and happen to run into each other all stalkerish all the time. (For the past year and a half, I always though that he thought that I was stalking him and that I was a total creep. Which I wasn't, we just ALWAYS HAPPENED TO BE AT THE SAME PLACE AT THE SAME TIME, especially out of school, and also..the staring. The whole thing is kinda weird actually. But my lovely friends have decided that maybe..it is, in fact, HE who is stalking ME. And that I should just go talk to him in Art Society. Werd. Heh.) Y...eah he's hott. Prowr. Today I went and gave blood this morning because his name was on the sign-up sheet. Flip yes. (Goddammit, no I am not stalking him. This was the first time, I swear.)
Josh was at school today. HURRAY! But then in 3rd, he usualy comes over to talk to me, instead he was talking to his other chick friend. HOly crap, I was kind of surprised at how kind of...jealous I was. (SHUT UP.) Oh and then of course, on the bus ride home, he starts telling me about how he was going to ask this chick out today whom apparently, thinks he's hott, but he didn't run into her before he got on bus today oh noes. Also, there is another chick who thinks he's hott.
NOOOOOO GODDAMN YOU NO NO NO NO NO NO NO MOTHERFUCKER NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
*sigh*
Holy crap. It's 7:00pm and I've been typing this entry since 4:30-ish. Jesus. Whatever. He's freshman anyway. Over it. Gah. *faceplant*