(no subject)
Well 2005 in a nutshell:
-Usually im not to big on putting personal things in my livejournal because i dont find it very appropriate. But as ive looked at what has happened to me in the past year, i cant help but share what has happened to me. Just sitting down and thinking about it kinda gives me the chills, because it doesnt seem like it was possible, to think that so much happened between the night at the zoo at the fiesta bowl, and the party i went to the other day.
-As i think about it, It has taken me a long time to figure out who i actually am. Frankly, i did alot of immature things on the way to finding that person. Although in life i dont think really anyone can ever figure out who they truly are, but they can figure out what they dont want to be, and thats what has happened to me.
-As you all know, gossip is probably my biggest weakness. For a while, I just frankly couldnt keep a secret, and it has done nothing but caused me trouble. Ive hurt alot of people, and broken the trust of many, something that i cannot earn back. Its not like i do it on purpose, but the large struggle just didnt go away. So for this year, my goal is to eliminate this problem. I know it seems like a long shot, but right now i have the motivation, because now ive learned the hard way on why. Im starting now to gain the maturity of understanding the pact of someone having their trust in you, and how to keep it. My apoligies out to all those in which have been affected by this, all i can do is improve, and im trying. But thanks for helping me learn, and know that you will not be forgotten.
-Still being pretty young, ive approached many sitiuations this past year with shear immaturity. When i look back on some of the situations that i so called "handled" honestly im embarressed. I could have been so much smarter and acted more my age, but no, i went the easy way and just quit and gave up, and even broke some hearts on the way. But there is no time machine, and i cant go back and change it. I have to deal with it, and thats just part of growing up, nobody said it was going to be easy. Ive learned, and all i can do is take what i got from it and apply it to what is going on now. But for this year, im going to re-think the way i handle things, before just giving up, because i dont want to do what i did to anybody else.
-Well this past year ive gossiped, cheated, yelled, cried, fell in love, broke a heart, got mine broken, ruined someone elses relationship, started a rumor, got drunk, got caught, got redeemed, got a car, got responsiblity, got redemtion, got peace, been stupid, been smart, been immature, lied, stole, cursed, denied god, took him back, denied him again, finally understood my true beliefs, made mistakes, relized mistakes, made them again, learned from them again, made them again, lost a friend, told someone i cared about them, found a new girl, liked her, got together, been scared of the future, been scared of the present, forgot about the past, forgot about other peoples pasts, yelled at someone, they yelled back, been happy, proud, arrogant, humble, loving, hateful, caring, pessimisstic, condescending, thoughtful, but most of all ive been me, the whole time.
-I cant predict the future, but I know that in the end, im still me, im still here, and I have got nothing to complain about. Thanks to everybody for the memories. I promise ill do my best to grow up a bit. You guys are the best, thanks for the great year, and cheers to the next
-Usually im not to big on putting personal things in my livejournal because i dont find it very appropriate. But as ive looked at what has happened to me in the past year, i cant help but share what has happened to me. Just sitting down and thinking about it kinda gives me the chills, because it doesnt seem like it was possible, to think that so much happened between the night at the zoo at the fiesta bowl, and the party i went to the other day.
-As i think about it, It has taken me a long time to figure out who i actually am. Frankly, i did alot of immature things on the way to finding that person. Although in life i dont think really anyone can ever figure out who they truly are, but they can figure out what they dont want to be, and thats what has happened to me.
-As you all know, gossip is probably my biggest weakness. For a while, I just frankly couldnt keep a secret, and it has done nothing but caused me trouble. Ive hurt alot of people, and broken the trust of many, something that i cannot earn back. Its not like i do it on purpose, but the large struggle just didnt go away. So for this year, my goal is to eliminate this problem. I know it seems like a long shot, but right now i have the motivation, because now ive learned the hard way on why. Im starting now to gain the maturity of understanding the pact of someone having their trust in you, and how to keep it. My apoligies out to all those in which have been affected by this, all i can do is improve, and im trying. But thanks for helping me learn, and know that you will not be forgotten.
-Still being pretty young, ive approached many sitiuations this past year with shear immaturity. When i look back on some of the situations that i so called "handled" honestly im embarressed. I could have been so much smarter and acted more my age, but no, i went the easy way and just quit and gave up, and even broke some hearts on the way. But there is no time machine, and i cant go back and change it. I have to deal with it, and thats just part of growing up, nobody said it was going to be easy. Ive learned, and all i can do is take what i got from it and apply it to what is going on now. But for this year, im going to re-think the way i handle things, before just giving up, because i dont want to do what i did to anybody else.
-Well this past year ive gossiped, cheated, yelled, cried, fell in love, broke a heart, got mine broken, ruined someone elses relationship, started a rumor, got drunk, got caught, got redeemed, got a car, got responsiblity, got redemtion, got peace, been stupid, been smart, been immature, lied, stole, cursed, denied god, took him back, denied him again, finally understood my true beliefs, made mistakes, relized mistakes, made them again, learned from them again, made them again, lost a friend, told someone i cared about them, found a new girl, liked her, got together, been scared of the future, been scared of the present, forgot about the past, forgot about other peoples pasts, yelled at someone, they yelled back, been happy, proud, arrogant, humble, loving, hateful, caring, pessimisstic, condescending, thoughtful, but most of all ive been me, the whole time.
-I cant predict the future, but I know that in the end, im still me, im still here, and I have got nothing to complain about. Thanks to everybody for the memories. I promise ill do my best to grow up a bit. You guys are the best, thanks for the great year, and cheers to the next