(no subject)
After eighteen years of putting on those pathetic masks, it's hard to live without them. I find myself constantly needing the reassurance of other people, when I should be able to create my own support.
I feel like all I do is repeat myself day and day. I keep thinking these thoughts...but I never dare to say them out loud. I want to tell someone, but I don't know who to talk to. I don't want to talk to anyone, actually. I find that all I am these days is cold hearted. That or I'm just fake.
I feel like people don't care about me or my problems. They can act like it, but do they know me? Do they even give a flying shit what my problems are? Chances are...they don't. Who would? Isn't this world filled with selfish assholes who pretend? I'm one of them. Even the people you think would care, most likely don't because it...one, doesn't involve them, or two, it's just boring.
I try to build a wall between what I feel and what I express. But I feel like that wall is just crumbling away. I'm getting tired of being such a stupid fuck who doesn't do anything but go to school and work. I want a life. I want friends.
As I've said many times, I want to just go drive myself into a brick wall, a river, a fucking black hole. And for all you dumbshits out there...I don't want attention. I don't want to be thought of as 'emo' or some shit. I don't even want you to comment.
I feel like all I do is repeat myself day and day. I keep thinking these thoughts...but I never dare to say them out loud. I want to tell someone, but I don't know who to talk to. I don't want to talk to anyone, actually. I find that all I am these days is cold hearted. That or I'm just fake.
I feel like people don't care about me or my problems. They can act like it, but do they know me? Do they even give a flying shit what my problems are? Chances are...they don't. Who would? Isn't this world filled with selfish assholes who pretend? I'm one of them. Even the people you think would care, most likely don't because it...one, doesn't involve them, or two, it's just boring.
I try to build a wall between what I feel and what I express. But I feel like that wall is just crumbling away. I'm getting tired of being such a stupid fuck who doesn't do anything but go to school and work. I want a life. I want friends.
As I've said many times, I want to just go drive myself into a brick wall, a river, a fucking black hole. And for all you dumbshits out there...I don't want attention. I don't want to be thought of as 'emo' or some shit. I don't even want you to comment.