What would you like someone to say? Because I'd probably say it for you. I miss you. It's easy to be passive and say everything about "someone". It's harder to just tell you. So I'm just telling you. I'm stupid and I don't expect any friendship from you. I bitch and complain and blame every pathetic part of my life on you.
But really I just tell you because I feel like you might be able to handle it. Really I think you will listen and care about what I say. Like I try to with you. Really I think nothing bad about you. We all have flaws. I've identified mine. I'm wrathful and dumb and neglect all the people I care about from time to time. And I'm sorry for it. I don't know how to change.
Today I realized that no matter how I live my life it will never be good enough for me. I will be working forever. I'm a middle-class American who is just like her parents. I maybe will go on one trip the entire rest of my life - somewhere special like Sydney or Hong Kong. But all the places I've ever dreamed of seeing will be lost to me. I will never be able to afford... my dreams.
I wish I could help. And I know how you feel. But it won't really make a difference. Nothing I ever say will change the world or even one person's feelings within it.
Because I'd probably say it for you.
I miss you. It's easy to be passive and say everything about "someone". It's harder to just tell you. So I'm just telling you.
I'm stupid and I don't expect any friendship from you. I bitch and complain and blame every pathetic part of my life on you.
But really I just tell you because I feel like you might be able to handle it. Really I think you will listen and care about what I say. Like I try to with you. Really I think nothing bad about you. We all have flaws. I've identified mine. I'm wrathful and dumb and neglect all the people I care about from time to time. And I'm sorry for it. I don't know how to change.
Today I realized that no matter how I live my life it will never be good enough for me. I will be working forever. I'm a middle-class American who is just like her parents. I maybe will go on one trip the entire rest of my life - somewhere special like Sydney or Hong Kong. But all the places I've ever dreamed of seeing will be lost to me. I will never be able to afford... my dreams.
I wish I could help. And I know how you feel.
But it won't really make a difference.
Nothing I ever say will change the world or even one person's feelings within it.
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