My Yesterday:
I depressed myself yesterday... I was sitting in the front yard with Jeremiah because it was so beautiful out and my mind decided it would be a good idea to start thinking. It started to think about people, humans... How they are so stupid and hopeless and worthless, but I didn't want to say it that way to Jeremiah, he's a senitive guy, so I said that I feel bad that there are so little realy people out there, they are all greedy hateful individuals that never think about anything important, only them and how to get ahead in life... I told him that it made me sad that people don't care about really being happy, or about how someone loves them for real, not just for their money or because that's what people do, they 'love' eachother. I started crying because...
I don't know why I started crying, the thought of all that made me cry... Then I decided to start thinking about what happens when people die. I have no clue what happens, but most people seem to think they know and that's enough for them... Then I started thinking about how pointless everything is if there is nothing after we die... How all of our faith and hope and god-fearing might mean jack in the afterlife... What is there when you're going into oblivion? All of this living I've been doing seemed so absolutely worthless to me... I felt so insignificant and stupid... I won't change the world by thinking this, I can't change the world and that kills me. I want to make things better, I want the world to change and be everything... To be what it really meanns to be a human...
But that's just my value judgement. I don't think humans are inherently good or evil, they're just human and that's all they will ever be. It's wrong to say they're good or bad, it just depends on the person...
I also decided that there are no gods... God is just a character in faerie tales and people are wasting their time putting faith in absent gods... I can't believe in a god that is never there. He's a myth, a lie, a story made up to make children obey their parents and to make adults feel like they need a reason to behave like a worthwhile individual... They need someone to blame all of their 'sins' on. THey don't want to take the responsibility, and I don't blame them, who would want to feel bad about choices you made? It sure doesn't seem like the 'moral' thing to do anymore...
He talked to me about his religion. I told him that I have a hard enough time believing in my own. I told him I hated when people try to convert others, how I won't believe anything that people tell me is what I should believe in. Thi supset him, he wanted me to see how his religion has anwsers to all my questions.
So that made my biggest question this:
Why do people need a religion to do good things for others?
If it's really that great, why do you need someone to tell you that's what you should be doing that? Why do you need someone there at your back telling you what to do or that what you're doing is good? Why can't you tell yourself that?
I don't know why I started crying, the thought of all that made me cry... Then I decided to start thinking about what happens when people die. I have no clue what happens, but most people seem to think they know and that's enough for them... Then I started thinking about how pointless everything is if there is nothing after we die... How all of our faith and hope and god-fearing might mean jack in the afterlife... What is there when you're going into oblivion? All of this living I've been doing seemed so absolutely worthless to me... I felt so insignificant and stupid... I won't change the world by thinking this, I can't change the world and that kills me. I want to make things better, I want the world to change and be everything... To be what it really meanns to be a human...
But that's just my value judgement. I don't think humans are inherently good or evil, they're just human and that's all they will ever be. It's wrong to say they're good or bad, it just depends on the person...
I also decided that there are no gods... God is just a character in faerie tales and people are wasting their time putting faith in absent gods... I can't believe in a god that is never there. He's a myth, a lie, a story made up to make children obey their parents and to make adults feel like they need a reason to behave like a worthwhile individual... They need someone to blame all of their 'sins' on. THey don't want to take the responsibility, and I don't blame them, who would want to feel bad about choices you made? It sure doesn't seem like the 'moral' thing to do anymore...
He talked to me about his religion. I told him that I have a hard enough time believing in my own. I told him I hated when people try to convert others, how I won't believe anything that people tell me is what I should believe in. Thi supset him, he wanted me to see how his religion has anwsers to all my questions.
So that made my biggest question this:
Why do people need a religion to do good things for others?
If it's really that great, why do you need someone to tell you that's what you should be doing that? Why do you need someone there at your back telling you what to do or that what you're doing is good? Why can't you tell yourself that?