(no subject)
This will sound SO emo.... But please read if you care about me at all.
Lately, if any of you care, I have been holding up all my emotions, and everything I've been feeling is just inside and i dident show any emotion for it... I have been trying to be a help people and friends through their dilemas so i dident have time for myself, and nobody has time for me, i always have to help my friends, but i never recieve help. anyways, I think I just was holding all this stuff in so I should have reacted to the unfortunate events eventually, like my parent's big fight which is currently going on, and the're acting like children and i believe they want divorce but there most likely wont becuz my mom would probably end up homeless in a year, or the fact that I'm still watching my best friend and the guy I love fall in love, or that nobody cares about what they do to me, or maybe becuase I'm fucking hiding myself from people, or maybe it's my friend ( her name is classified information)who points out all my flaws and rubs them in my face and makes me feel like shit about myself, or that the same friend treats everyone else better than me, or maybe its that i knew that if i ever needed a place to crash becuz of some inccedent at home i would have nowhere to go... Also People have done things I cannot say to me.
I dont like to complain, so a few nights ago, I burst out crying, and i couldent stop, and I literally layed in my tears, and my nobody cared, only my brother, and he talked to me, but he made it worse, I just wanted to be left alone, or I wanetd somebody to be by my shoulder helping me out. And im afraid i stopped crying before i was done, becuase it seems that everytime i think of it, I want to cry again.
I just dont know what to do with myself at the moment. I need to just get away, before I forget all the great things, and i want to kill myself or sumthing stupid like that.
Somebody be by my side.
Lately, if any of you care, I have been holding up all my emotions, and everything I've been feeling is just inside and i dident show any emotion for it... I have been trying to be a help people and friends through their dilemas so i dident have time for myself, and nobody has time for me, i always have to help my friends, but i never recieve help. anyways, I think I just was holding all this stuff in so I should have reacted to the unfortunate events eventually, like my parent's big fight which is currently going on, and the're acting like children and i believe they want divorce but there most likely wont becuz my mom would probably end up homeless in a year, or the fact that I'm still watching my best friend and the guy I love fall in love, or that nobody cares about what they do to me, or maybe becuase I'm fucking hiding myself from people, or maybe it's my friend ( her name is classified information)who points out all my flaws and rubs them in my face and makes me feel like shit about myself, or that the same friend treats everyone else better than me, or maybe its that i knew that if i ever needed a place to crash becuz of some inccedent at home i would have nowhere to go... Also People have done things I cannot say to me.
I dont like to complain, so a few nights ago, I burst out crying, and i couldent stop, and I literally layed in my tears, and my nobody cared, only my brother, and he talked to me, but he made it worse, I just wanted to be left alone, or I wanetd somebody to be by my shoulder helping me out. And im afraid i stopped crying before i was done, becuase it seems that everytime i think of it, I want to cry again.
I just dont know what to do with myself at the moment. I need to just get away, before I forget all the great things, and i want to kill myself or sumthing stupid like that.
Somebody be by my side.