Log - Saeki and Fuji~ [Closed]
Who: Saeki Koujirou & Fuji Syuusuke
When: April 5th
Where: Saeki's place
Summary: Fuji decides that he hasn't seen his friend for far too long, and pays him a surprise visit~ They discuss house planning, and then Fuji clues Saeki in on what's been going on in his life lately.
Warning/Rating: PG - 13. Mostly fluff, but some mention of Fuji's more....adult situations.
Player Comments: Awwwwwww, these two ♥
Comments/Crits allowed? Sure
The infra-structure still had its problems, due to the earthquake, but it was getting back on its feet, and Fuji found his trip from Tokyo to Chiba go over without too much ado. As he stepped off the train he pulled up his cell phone and checked the GPS. With it, and if his memory served him right, it wouldn't take him too long to locate Saeki's house.
It was a perfect day for a surprise visit. The sky was high and clear, the sun was warm, and people seemed lively. Tezuka was out job hunting, and that had left Fuji a bit bored. He had ended up looking through an old photo album from his Elementary school days, and there had been a lot of pictures of Saeki in it, the two of them goofing around and probably causing all kinds of headaches for their parents. Dwelling on his own parents wasn't something Fuji liked doing, but dwelling on Saeki was an entirely different matter all together. He had realized that he missed him, and it bothered him that they hadn't seen each other in the flesh for at least half a year, if not more. So he decided to do something about it.
And here he was, three hours later, standing in front of Saeki's house. Maybe he should have let him know he was coming. Maybe it was a bad timing... But he was here now, and he ought to at least say hi. He didn't even know why he was suddenly nervous and second guessing himself, but as he approached the door to ring the bell, he had to take a long, deep breath to calm himself down.
Here it goes.
Saeki was seated at the dining room table, a large sketchpad in front of him. He wasn’t an artist by any means, but he’d toured the campus of his technical school recently, and the guide had been an architecture student that was only about a year away from graduating. They'd gotten to talking, and the guy had agreed that if Saeki could loosely sketch out the beach house floorplan, he’d try and draw up an actual blueprint.
He’d managed to get a few sketches, but they didn’t quite seem right, so he’d kind of started drawing what he might want the new beach house to be, even if it wasn’t what was before it was destroyed. That, he’d gotten nowhere with, and so he was staring at a blank page when he heard the doorbell ring.
Shindo, sleeping under the table, woke up and started barking, and Saeki commanded him to be quiet as he got up and went to the door, pencil tucked behind his ear. “Eh? … Fuji?” he asked, quite surprised to see his old friend standing on the other side. “Man! What are you doing down here?! Come on in!”
"I'm not disturbing you?" He blinked a little at the barking that had been heard - he had forgotten that Kurobane and Saeki had dogs, which was silly because he had met those dogs when he had been visiting during that birthday party. Oh well. He smiled ruefully, teeth sneaking out to worry his lower lip. "I mean, if it's a bad time, I..."
But he did tell me to come in, and he seems happy to see me. Right?
Saeki laughed, and beside him, Shindo seemed to recognize Fuji at least a little, or perhaps was responding to Saeki’s good mood, because he wagged his tail and licked at Fuji’s fingers. “Quit worrying and get your skinny ass in here!” Saeki reached out, slung an arm around Fuji’s shoulders, and practically pulled him in, shutting the door behind them. “Having you here is never bad timing, Fuji! So don’t be silly. Want anything to drink?”
"Hey there, boy," he mumbled to the dog, reaching out to ruffle him gently between the ears. He stepped inside, kicked off his outdoor shoes and stepped into the indoor slippers, looking around to find somewhere he could hang his coat. "Sure. Do you have juice?" Ah, there was a coat rack~
Saeki laughed. “Do we have juice. We have apple juice, orange juice, pineapple juice, grape juice, cranberry juice, tomato juice...” He made a face at that one. “And Mom bought some blueberry pomegranate thing that I haven’t been brave enough to try, yet... Take your pick. And make yourself at home. Mi casa es su casa, after all.” He headed into the kitchen and grabbed a glass, then opened the fridge to check and see if he’d forgotten any.
"Whoa there," Fuji chuckled, curiously following Saeki into the kitchen. "I'll try that blueberry pomegranate thing then. If only to show that I am still braver than you~" He grinned, and then reached out to pinch Saeki's butt. "And that's for calling my ass skinny."
Saeki grinned and pulled out the blueberry pomegranate. “Your ass is skinny. You’re like, what, three sizes smaller than me or something?” As kids, there hadn’t been that much of a size difference between them, but somewhere during puberty and high school, Saeki had grown differently. His body had grown bigger, and not just in height. Fuji had stayed slim and petite... actually the type Saeki had previously fantasized over, before he’d started bottoming himself.
He poured a glass full of the juice and handed it to Fuji before putting the bottle back into the fridge. “And you didn’t answer me, earlier. What brings you down here all of a sudden? Not that I’m not glad to see you, because I totally am.”
"I'd say three sizes smaller is exaggerating it a little, don't you think?" Sure, he had to tilt his head upwards to look Saeki in the eyes, and the other man - he could call him a man, right? Even if they officially weren't twenty years old yet - most definitely weighed more than him... That didn't mean anything. Well, at least he'd like to tell himself that. He offered a mock pout and dipped his finger in the juice, only to poke said finger against Saeki's nose, leaving a small, blueish red droplet behind. "Meanie."
He pulled out a chair and sat down, sipping on the juice, a somewhat thoughtful expression on his face. "Well... I guess the biggest reason is that I miss you. I was looking through old photo albums, you know? And I was feeling nostalgic all of a sudden. That, and we really haven't touched base since the earthquake. So I figured I'd drop by."
“Maybe two. Maybe.” Saeki chuckled, wiping the drop of juice from his nose. He followed and pulled out the chair across from Fuji for himself and made himself comfortable. “Just nostalgia, then? Everything else is going well? You and Tezuka, your house...? All that’s good?” He shut the sketchpad and set it aside; he’d go back to it later, maybe when he saw Bane next.
"Maybe? How kind of you." The juice was good, he thought. Fresh and a little tart, without being sour and unpleasant. He really didn't like anything sour, so orange juice was a no-go. You couldn't trust that. He actually enjoyed tomato juice, and carrot juice even more so, but he also knew that his taste-buds were somewhat... unique.
"Oh. Well..." His eyes shifted and finally he settled on staring into the juice. "Yeah, things are going great with Tezuka. We've been out furniture shopping and we're thinking of putting up new wallpapers in the room. Tezuka's looking into how to prepare a dark room in the basement. I got accepted to Geidai, did you hear that?" He chuckled softly, tongue nervously sneaking out to wet his lips.
"... I guess I'm still trying to understand that we actually live together. That we're actually getting a house together. I mean... It wasn't that long ago I had that disastrous affair with Ichinose. I... Think I told you about him. Did I? Hm... Anyway... Things happened... And then I just had to move away from home, and... It all went so fast, you know?"
He was babbling and probably not making much sense, he feared. He emptied the glass and set it aside, giving a light shrug and a bleak smile came to his face as he finally looked up to face Saeki. "How about you?"
Saeki listened. He remembered hearing some things about Ichinose, and inferring a few others, but Fuji had always been kind of vague about it. He did remember quite clearly a feeling of relief when Fuji had announced that he and Ichinose were over, and again when he’d mentioned going out with Tezuka. Even if Saeki didn’t know the guy well, Tezuka seemed like the type that had a good soft inside beneath all that stoic exterior. “Geidai, huh? That’s impressive, but I’d be lying if I said I was surprised,” he grinned. “And I’m glad to hear you and Tezuka are doing well. I always did think you two would make a cute pair.”
“As for me... I’m alright, I guess. It still hasn’t really sunk in that I’m not in high school anymore, and between that and the quake and tsunami and the beach house getting ruined... I’m pretty frazzled, but Haru’s good for making sure I don’t go freaking myself out. When I can get him to sit still long enough, at least.” Bane still liked to run around and see who he could help out with all the recovery efforts. It was a good thing, and Saeki was proud of him for it...even if he couldn’t bring himself to go along.
"You guys weren't hurt, right? You got hit worse than we did." He looked Saeki over worriedly. "How's Kurobane-kun?" His eyes caught the now closed sketchbook. "And... What's that?"
Saeki shook his head. “We’re fine. The family house needs some work, but it’s still livable, and aside from a few scrapes and bruises from stuff falling, we’re good. Haru and his family too. He’s been doing a lot to help out with the cleanup and rebuilding... So much I can hardly get him to sit down and chill for a few.” He glanced over at the sketchbook. “Oh, well. The beach house got annihilated, between the quake and the tsunami... His cousin was going to give it to us so we could move out of our parents’ places but.... Well, anyway. I met an architecture student at the community college I’m gonna be going to, and he offered to draw up a blueprint if I gave him a rough sketch to work on, so....” He removed the pencil from behind his ear, having almost forgotten it was there. “But I suck at drawing, so it’s not going very well,” he shrugged.
Fuji nodded, frowning. "Well... I partly want to say that I could help you out with the drawing... But then again, it's your house, so maybe that would be too intrusive. If you want to, I could give it a once over though, and come with some pointers. But that's only if it would be absolutely okay with both you and Kurobane-kun."
Saeki pushed the pencil and the sketchpad towards him. “If you want to, go right ahead. You’re the artsy one between the two of us. I’m not gonna give the guy anything that hasn’t been cleared with Haru first, but any help you can give is more than welcome.” He flipped the cover open, giving Fuji a little head start. “At first I was trying to recreate the original layout....but I don’t remember it that well, so then I just kind of started trying to figure out what I might want the rebuilt one to look like and was making it up as I went along.”
"Well, what do you want to favor? The sun... Like, have a lot of windows and such? Or privacy? Not so many windows, but maybe a door that leads directly out on the beach? A veranda perhaps?" Fuji gnawed lightly on the pencil as he thought out loud.
“Haha! That’s half the problem, I guess. I don’t really know,” Saeki laughed. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, trying to picture it in his head. In his mind, it was warm and bright, lots of sun... but not so many windows that he felt exposed. “I think I want a lot of light - sunlight - but...not so many windows that people would be able to see in if they passed by. Maybe sun roofs? And a veranda sounds nice...with an overhang to keep it shaded, but...facing the ocean?”
"That sounds good. What if you have glass slide doors facing the veranda, and then sun roofs? That way you'll get the evening sun, whether you're out on the veranda or indoors, and of course that should be where you have your living room. The bedroom ought to be more closed off. How many rooms are you going to have? Two or more? And would you like an open planning, with no walls between the kitchen and the living room, or would you want that to be more closed off as well? To keep the smell from the kitchen away from the living room? That could work... But with open planning it would be easier for you to air the entire house out." Maybe he should slow down a bit, not get ahead of himself here, but he did love interior designing, be it either how you'd decorate your home, or how it was going to be planned out. "... I should probably give you some time to think this over." He blushed sheepishly.
“Ummmmmmmmm...... Holy cow, Fuji.” Okay, Saeki knew Fuji liked interior design and related stuff, but damn. “I totally have no idea. I know Haru likes the idea of being able to have all of Rokkaku over at once, so probably multiple bedrooms in addition to a living room and kitchen area, but beyond that.... I dunno. Maybe I should be taking notes so I don’t forget all this when I go to talk it over with Haru.”
"Am I too much?" He rubbed the back of his head, still blushing. "Oh... But anyway, well... I'm thinking that you don't need too many bedrooms. Just big guest rooms with a lot of space; that way you can fit more beds or futons, and it's cozier when you share room anyway. But there should be at least one smaller guestroom, for when you don't have as many people over, or your guests feel that they need some privacy." He drew a few sketches in the book, and then stopped, gnawing on the butt of the pencil again. "How are you going to finance this? This isn't going to be some tiny playhouse, you know."
Saeki shook his head. “You’re not too much. It’s good. It’s all stuff we need to take into consideration with all this anyway, and I’m not sure Haru would’ve thought of it either. It’s really good.” He leaned forward and propped his elbow on the table and his chin in his hand. “Well, I’ve been saving up money, since I’ve been working. I was gonna put it towards finishing up my dune buggy, but that can wait. I’d rather use it towards rebuilding the house. Haru was going to look into seeing if the house was insured. If it was, we should be able to get some from that, too. Plus he’s been saving... We’ve also got a lot of friends that are willing to help any way they can...so I’m thinking maybe instead of hiring an whole team of construction workers, maybe we can do at least some of the labor ourselves and just have a supervisor or two to make sure it all goes up right. …... It might be a while before we get that far, though, but with a proper blueprint, it should be easier to figure out exactly how much it’s going to run.....and we can always make changes to fit the budget...” Saeki had also considered seeing if they could get a loan from a bank to help pay for it, and then pay it off like any regular old house payment, but he wanted an estimate first so they didn’t take out more than they’d really need.
He laughed. “Heh. For now, it’s mostly a ‘this is what we’d like to do’, instead of an ‘okay, here’s what we’re doing’.”
"Okay, I get it." Fuji smiled and continued to sketch down a couple of different ideas and layouts, before satisfied. He then went to scribble down a few pointers here and there that he thought might be useful if Saeki remembered to bring up when talking to Bane, and then he finally handed the sketch book back. "Okay. I could go for something warmer now though. Do you have tea or coffee?"
“You are totally the best,” Saeki grinned, taking a quick glance at the sketches. Even for being just sketches, they were way better than his own had been. “I’ll start some coffee.” His sister might as well mainline the stuff, so there was an actual coffee maker in the house instead of just instant, and Saeki got up to get a batch started. “You know, I’ve missed you too, Fuji. I miss all the crazy shit we did as kids, running around like we owned the world....beating up anybody that teased Yuuta...” He grinned. “We should make a point of hanging out more often. I’d tell you to move back down here, but I think you’re pretty glued to Tokyo,” he chuckled.
"Pretty much, yeah." He chuckled, memories of old cheerfully coming back to the surface. "Yuuta was absolutely adorable, wasn't he?" He smiled, inhaling the scent of the coffee powder as it wafted over. "Just... If you want to get hold of me and can't reach my cell phone... Call Tezuka's house, okay? Not my p-parent's."
Hmmmm....So that explained it. “You know, I did try to call you after the quakes and everything, to make sure you were alright. All your mom would say is that you weren’t home... I finally got Yumiko-nee and she told me you and your folks had had a falling out, but she wasn’t very specific about it...” Knowing Fuji like he did, it was possible Yumiko didn’t know any more than she’d told him, but knowing her like he did, he wouldn’t be surprised if she knew more than she let on. Strange family, those Fujis. “I won’t ask you to tell me if you don’t want to, but...You will let me know if I can help out at all, right?”
It wasn't that he wanted to keep it a secret. Quite frankly, he wanted to be able to talk about it, because if he didn't, he only sent signals to himself that he was ashamed of himself, that he had done something wrong here and not his parents. But on the other hand, it felt like it might be too much for Saeki to handle, considering the recent events. "I'd gladly tell you... But it's a bit on the heavy side. I'm not sure if it's a good time for you." Because he worried more about how his story would affect his friend, rather than if it would end up being stressful for himself. "I want to be open with you, you know."
Saeki brought over two mugs of coffee when it finished, along with little containers of cream and sugar. He couldn’t remember how Fuji liked it, but personally, he took it with more cream and sugar than coffee. “Fuji, you know as well as I do that it’s never really a good time for heavy stuff,” he chuckled, handing Fuji the un-butchered coffee. “Besides. It’ll distract me from my own stresses. That’s totally different. If you’re okay with talking, then I’m okay with listening.”
Fuji liked his coffee black some times, and sweetened other times. This time he needed sweetness, he felt, so he doused some cream into the coffee along with two spoons of sugar. "Well... I don't know if you remember it, but dad was pretty... strict with me when I was growing up."
Saeki nodded. “I remember. I remember always thinking how unfair it seemed that he treated you and Yuuta differently, with you guys being so close in age and all. He could get away with murder, and you got yelled at if you sneezed wrong.” It’d pissed him off as a kid, but his own mom and dad had always told him not to butt into other people’s family business.
"Well, Yuuta was the child who took after him... But I'm guessing if he had known how Yuuta would be pushed around and we had to butt in to save him, he would have thought differently. But anyway..." He paused, cupping his hands around the coffee mug. "I always had this pressure on me that I had to always be the best, you know? Tennis or school or just my general disposition. It was tiring." He frowned. "I thought... hoped, that dad would let up as I got older. It was quite the opposite." He paused again, blowing gently on the coffee to cool it down. "He got... pretty violent."
“Vio---Fuji.” His first instinct was to ask if Fuji was joking, but he knew that Fuji didn’t have the bad taste enough to joke about something like that. His next instinct was to ask why Fuji never told him, but he knew the answer to that too. Between things he’d learned at Rokkaku and the little he’d heard from Bane about some of his cases, he knew it wasn’t an easy thing to talk about. “Damn it. I knew he had a mean streak in him, but damn.” Saeki shook his head. “That bastard.”
"Yeah... I didn't do anything about it though." He frowned. "I... just let it happen. Came up with excuses, the whole deal, you know? Did anything I could to hide the bruises or come up with explanations for them, you know? When I couldn't hide them. And then I ended up with a boyfriend who treated me just about the same way. With an added sexual relationship thrown into it all." He shrugged. "I... Wouldn't have ended it with Ichinose if Tezuka hadn't intervened. I can't ever thank him enough that he did. So then it was just back to dad hit-- no. Abusing me. I'm gonna use the correct term here." Or he'd continue to lie to himself. He didn't want that. "At least with him, there wasn't any sex. ... I thought."
Saeki’s hands clenched tightly around his mug. He understood, mostly from what he’d learned through Bane, that abuse victims very rarely acted to stop it. The abuser was able to control them through fear, and fear can be a very paralyzing thing. Even though he liked to think he’d have done something, if he had been in Fuji’s shoes, he really doubted he’d have been any different. “Fuji. … Why is your dad not in prison right now? I mean, with all he’s done...he should be locked up.” Surely there was something, some reason why he wasn’t behind bars...
"Weeeeell..." Fuji sucked on his teeth for a moment, before offering a bland smile. "After he ra-- After shit hit the fan, Tezuka was furious. He went over to talk with d-dad, and... I don't know. Kunimitsu simply promised that he'll never hurt me again. It's fine like that. Yuuta and Nee-san doesn't have to know the details."
“Hmmmm....” Maybe he’d give Tezuka a call and ask. Even if Fuji didn’t want to know what he’d done...Saeki kind of did. But then, maybe it wasn’t worth dredging it all up if he didn’t have to. “As long as he’s not doing the same to them...yeah, I think you might be right.” Saeki sighed, shaking his head again. “I do kind of wish you’d told me all this sooner...but I get it. I do. It can’t...be easy to talk about.” He got up and walked around the table to Fuji’s side to hug him tight.
Fuji wasn't an overly touchy person. After the rape, even less, unless it was Tezuka, that was a different matter all together - and still, even with him, he couldn't even bring himself to make out, if the touches became too intimate, not yet - or, as he found out now, unless it was Saeki. Maybe it was the whole childhood friend thing that did it. That sense of familiarity and safety that Saeki had always provided. He found himself returning the hug, almost desperately, and even though he knocked the coffee cup over while doing so, he didn't notice. He simply burrowed his nose into Saeki's shirt and held on tight.
Saeki noticed the mug falling over, but he didn’t bother. The table was dark -- nobody’d notice if it stained. “You know, I think, if I ever see your dad again, I’ll probably end up punching him in the face.” He probably wouldn’t be able to resist the urge, knowing him. “But the important thing is...how are you holding up?” He let go a little, just enough to bring a chair over so he could sit next to Fuji.
"I'm... I'm trying. I can talk to Tezuka whenever I need to and..." He paused, pushing himself away from Saeki, if just barely. "... I don't know. I try to function. Go forward. But I have nightmares almost every night and... I don't know." He gave a wry smile. "I've been doing drugs on and off, you know? And right now, I really miss it. And I know that's bad. Really bad. But I've been pretty hooked, and you can't just quit like that. I haven't. Not entirely, because I couldn't deal with the withdrawal on top of everything else."
Saeki put his hand on Fuji’s shoulder. He hated hearing that, but Fuji didn’t need him to get angry about it or to yell at him. So even though he was tempted, he tried to stay level-headed about it. “You need to quit, though, Fuji. It’s not good for you, as I’m sure you know, and I have to assume Tezuka doesn’t know about this, because he seems to be the kind of person that would be pretty pissed off if he knew. But instead of quitting cold turkey, because that can be rough... Try weaning yourself off. I would think that would make any withdrawal symptoms lesser, too...” Of course, Saeki had nothing really to base that on, except the time he’d tried to quit caffeine, but a caffeine headache was nothing compared to withdrawal from other things, from what he did know.
"I know it's every bit as stereotypical as the next one that art students do drugs like there's no tomorrow, but I guess I'm scared that if I do try and quit, even if it isn't cold turkey, that the temptation will be too great when I attend collage. And that I'll crash and burn faster than ever." He sighed, rubbing his temples. "I know the smartest way to go about this would be to become a ronin for one year and have myself admitted to a clinic, but I've already gotten accepted, and it's Geidai! What if I don't get accepted next year?" Leaning back in the chair, a frustrated expression passed over his face. "I just wish I could make this past year completely undone. I mean... Save for me dating Kunimitsu. But you can't rewind anything, can you?"
Saeki shook his head. “If taking a year off is what you need to do, then do it. If they accepted you once, they have no reason to accept you again. Or maybe only take like, one or two of the easier classes, this year, while you try to get everything else sorted out, and then start up full time next year.” He gave Fuji’s shoulder a squeeze. “The most important thing is getting yourself sorted out first. Everything else comes after that.”
"But... It's not exactly cheap. Rehabilitation. And I've got a scholarship to pay for most of my university expenses, but I can't ask Kunimitsu to bail in to help me pay for something like that." Well, he could, and he was pretty sure most of Tezuka's family would pitch in to help him, but it didn't feel right to ask that of them. Even if he saw the logic in it.
“You’re being stubborn again.” Saeki gently thwapped his shoulder. “There are lots of options, Fuji. You can petition the school, explain to them that things have come up that need to be taken care of before you can start, see if they’re willing to hold it over for you for a while.” His sister had done that, with her school, a couple of years ago, and the school had allowed it, as long as she enrolled by a certain date. If she missed that date, she’d have lost it all, but fortunately she had everything sorted out when that day came. “It’s worth a shot, at least.”
"I... guess. Yeah, I won't get any changes done if I sit around and mope, nee~? I should give Hana-neesan a call. Does she still have the same number? I doubt it..." Saeki Hana was Koujirou's sister.
Saeki had to laugh. His sister wasn’t good for much, most of the time, but she actually managed to be pretty dependable when you needed her. When she wasn’t busy being crazy, at least. “Actually, yeah, she does. She’s very attached to that number, for some reason, so even though she’s not on the family cell plan anymore, she kept the number she had when she switched.” He used to tease and tell her she should get it tattooed on her.
"Really?" He laughed. "Well, then it's settled. I'll call her. I wonder what's up with the number though..." A mystery! Of course he would have to pester Hana about it.
Saeki grinned. “Good. And if they need you to have like, letters from friends or familiy as character references, let me know. I can churn one out for ya. They asked her for a few, though different universities have different policies, it at least can’t hurt, I imagine.” Saeki propped himself up, elbow on the table. “As for the number, I dunno. I’ve bugged her about it for so long and gotten nothing. Near as I can figure, she’s either nuts, or just paranoid that if she changes it she won’t remember it.”
"It might be a bit of both," Fuji mused. "She is pretty special, after all." He smiled affectionately. "A--aa. Yes, I'll remember that." He got to his feet. "Now that's that out of the way... Would you mind showing me around here?"
Saeki grinned again and got up, taking a second to quickly grab a towel and clean up the coffee spill. “There isn’t much to see,” he remarked, tossing the towel to the sink. “But absolutely. C’mon, get up,” he pretty much hauled Fuji out of the chair, “and I’ll show you what we’ve got. Of course, you’ve already seen the living room and kitchen area....” He tugged Fuji down the hall. “There’s Hana’s room, when she’s here, but we usually use it as a guest room...”
When: April 5th
Where: Saeki's place
Summary: Fuji decides that he hasn't seen his friend for far too long, and pays him a surprise visit~ They discuss house planning, and then Fuji clues Saeki in on what's been going on in his life lately.
Warning/Rating: PG - 13. Mostly fluff, but some mention of Fuji's more....adult situations.
Player Comments: Awwwwwww, these two ♥
Comments/Crits allowed? Sure
The infra-structure still had its problems, due to the earthquake, but it was getting back on its feet, and Fuji found his trip from Tokyo to Chiba go over without too much ado. As he stepped off the train he pulled up his cell phone and checked the GPS. With it, and if his memory served him right, it wouldn't take him too long to locate Saeki's house.
It was a perfect day for a surprise visit. The sky was high and clear, the sun was warm, and people seemed lively. Tezuka was out job hunting, and that had left Fuji a bit bored. He had ended up looking through an old photo album from his Elementary school days, and there had been a lot of pictures of Saeki in it, the two of them goofing around and probably causing all kinds of headaches for their parents. Dwelling on his own parents wasn't something Fuji liked doing, but dwelling on Saeki was an entirely different matter all together. He had realized that he missed him, and it bothered him that they hadn't seen each other in the flesh for at least half a year, if not more. So he decided to do something about it.
And here he was, three hours later, standing in front of Saeki's house. Maybe he should have let him know he was coming. Maybe it was a bad timing... But he was here now, and he ought to at least say hi. He didn't even know why he was suddenly nervous and second guessing himself, but as he approached the door to ring the bell, he had to take a long, deep breath to calm himself down.
Here it goes.
Saeki was seated at the dining room table, a large sketchpad in front of him. He wasn’t an artist by any means, but he’d toured the campus of his technical school recently, and the guide had been an architecture student that was only about a year away from graduating. They'd gotten to talking, and the guy had agreed that if Saeki could loosely sketch out the beach house floorplan, he’d try and draw up an actual blueprint.
He’d managed to get a few sketches, but they didn’t quite seem right, so he’d kind of started drawing what he might want the new beach house to be, even if it wasn’t what was before it was destroyed. That, he’d gotten nowhere with, and so he was staring at a blank page when he heard the doorbell ring.
Shindo, sleeping under the table, woke up and started barking, and Saeki commanded him to be quiet as he got up and went to the door, pencil tucked behind his ear. “Eh? … Fuji?” he asked, quite surprised to see his old friend standing on the other side. “Man! What are you doing down here?! Come on in!”
"I'm not disturbing you?" He blinked a little at the barking that had been heard - he had forgotten that Kurobane and Saeki had dogs, which was silly because he had met those dogs when he had been visiting during that birthday party. Oh well. He smiled ruefully, teeth sneaking out to worry his lower lip. "I mean, if it's a bad time, I..."
But he did tell me to come in, and he seems happy to see me. Right?
Saeki laughed, and beside him, Shindo seemed to recognize Fuji at least a little, or perhaps was responding to Saeki’s good mood, because he wagged his tail and licked at Fuji’s fingers. “Quit worrying and get your skinny ass in here!” Saeki reached out, slung an arm around Fuji’s shoulders, and practically pulled him in, shutting the door behind them. “Having you here is never bad timing, Fuji! So don’t be silly. Want anything to drink?”
"Hey there, boy," he mumbled to the dog, reaching out to ruffle him gently between the ears. He stepped inside, kicked off his outdoor shoes and stepped into the indoor slippers, looking around to find somewhere he could hang his coat. "Sure. Do you have juice?" Ah, there was a coat rack~
Saeki laughed. “Do we have juice. We have apple juice, orange juice, pineapple juice, grape juice, cranberry juice, tomato juice...” He made a face at that one. “And Mom bought some blueberry pomegranate thing that I haven’t been brave enough to try, yet... Take your pick. And make yourself at home. Mi casa es su casa, after all.” He headed into the kitchen and grabbed a glass, then opened the fridge to check and see if he’d forgotten any.
"Whoa there," Fuji chuckled, curiously following Saeki into the kitchen. "I'll try that blueberry pomegranate thing then. If only to show that I am still braver than you~" He grinned, and then reached out to pinch Saeki's butt. "And that's for calling my ass skinny."
Saeki grinned and pulled out the blueberry pomegranate. “Your ass is skinny. You’re like, what, three sizes smaller than me or something?” As kids, there hadn’t been that much of a size difference between them, but somewhere during puberty and high school, Saeki had grown differently. His body had grown bigger, and not just in height. Fuji had stayed slim and petite... actually the type Saeki had previously fantasized over, before he’d started bottoming himself.
He poured a glass full of the juice and handed it to Fuji before putting the bottle back into the fridge. “And you didn’t answer me, earlier. What brings you down here all of a sudden? Not that I’m not glad to see you, because I totally am.”
"I'd say three sizes smaller is exaggerating it a little, don't you think?" Sure, he had to tilt his head upwards to look Saeki in the eyes, and the other man - he could call him a man, right? Even if they officially weren't twenty years old yet - most definitely weighed more than him... That didn't mean anything. Well, at least he'd like to tell himself that. He offered a mock pout and dipped his finger in the juice, only to poke said finger against Saeki's nose, leaving a small, blueish red droplet behind. "Meanie."
He pulled out a chair and sat down, sipping on the juice, a somewhat thoughtful expression on his face. "Well... I guess the biggest reason is that I miss you. I was looking through old photo albums, you know? And I was feeling nostalgic all of a sudden. That, and we really haven't touched base since the earthquake. So I figured I'd drop by."
“Maybe two. Maybe.” Saeki chuckled, wiping the drop of juice from his nose. He followed and pulled out the chair across from Fuji for himself and made himself comfortable. “Just nostalgia, then? Everything else is going well? You and Tezuka, your house...? All that’s good?” He shut the sketchpad and set it aside; he’d go back to it later, maybe when he saw Bane next.
"Maybe? How kind of you." The juice was good, he thought. Fresh and a little tart, without being sour and unpleasant. He really didn't like anything sour, so orange juice was a no-go. You couldn't trust that. He actually enjoyed tomato juice, and carrot juice even more so, but he also knew that his taste-buds were somewhat... unique.
"Oh. Well..." His eyes shifted and finally he settled on staring into the juice. "Yeah, things are going great with Tezuka. We've been out furniture shopping and we're thinking of putting up new wallpapers in the room. Tezuka's looking into how to prepare a dark room in the basement. I got accepted to Geidai, did you hear that?" He chuckled softly, tongue nervously sneaking out to wet his lips.
"... I guess I'm still trying to understand that we actually live together. That we're actually getting a house together. I mean... It wasn't that long ago I had that disastrous affair with Ichinose. I... Think I told you about him. Did I? Hm... Anyway... Things happened... And then I just had to move away from home, and... It all went so fast, you know?"
He was babbling and probably not making much sense, he feared. He emptied the glass and set it aside, giving a light shrug and a bleak smile came to his face as he finally looked up to face Saeki. "How about you?"
Saeki listened. He remembered hearing some things about Ichinose, and inferring a few others, but Fuji had always been kind of vague about it. He did remember quite clearly a feeling of relief when Fuji had announced that he and Ichinose were over, and again when he’d mentioned going out with Tezuka. Even if Saeki didn’t know the guy well, Tezuka seemed like the type that had a good soft inside beneath all that stoic exterior. “Geidai, huh? That’s impressive, but I’d be lying if I said I was surprised,” he grinned. “And I’m glad to hear you and Tezuka are doing well. I always did think you two would make a cute pair.”
“As for me... I’m alright, I guess. It still hasn’t really sunk in that I’m not in high school anymore, and between that and the quake and tsunami and the beach house getting ruined... I’m pretty frazzled, but Haru’s good for making sure I don’t go freaking myself out. When I can get him to sit still long enough, at least.” Bane still liked to run around and see who he could help out with all the recovery efforts. It was a good thing, and Saeki was proud of him for it...even if he couldn’t bring himself to go along.
"You guys weren't hurt, right? You got hit worse than we did." He looked Saeki over worriedly. "How's Kurobane-kun?" His eyes caught the now closed sketchbook. "And... What's that?"
Saeki shook his head. “We’re fine. The family house needs some work, but it’s still livable, and aside from a few scrapes and bruises from stuff falling, we’re good. Haru and his family too. He’s been doing a lot to help out with the cleanup and rebuilding... So much I can hardly get him to sit down and chill for a few.” He glanced over at the sketchbook. “Oh, well. The beach house got annihilated, between the quake and the tsunami... His cousin was going to give it to us so we could move out of our parents’ places but.... Well, anyway. I met an architecture student at the community college I’m gonna be going to, and he offered to draw up a blueprint if I gave him a rough sketch to work on, so....” He removed the pencil from behind his ear, having almost forgotten it was there. “But I suck at drawing, so it’s not going very well,” he shrugged.
Fuji nodded, frowning. "Well... I partly want to say that I could help you out with the drawing... But then again, it's your house, so maybe that would be too intrusive. If you want to, I could give it a once over though, and come with some pointers. But that's only if it would be absolutely okay with both you and Kurobane-kun."
Saeki pushed the pencil and the sketchpad towards him. “If you want to, go right ahead. You’re the artsy one between the two of us. I’m not gonna give the guy anything that hasn’t been cleared with Haru first, but any help you can give is more than welcome.” He flipped the cover open, giving Fuji a little head start. “At first I was trying to recreate the original layout....but I don’t remember it that well, so then I just kind of started trying to figure out what I might want the rebuilt one to look like and was making it up as I went along.”
"Well, what do you want to favor? The sun... Like, have a lot of windows and such? Or privacy? Not so many windows, but maybe a door that leads directly out on the beach? A veranda perhaps?" Fuji gnawed lightly on the pencil as he thought out loud.
“Haha! That’s half the problem, I guess. I don’t really know,” Saeki laughed. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, trying to picture it in his head. In his mind, it was warm and bright, lots of sun... but not so many windows that he felt exposed. “I think I want a lot of light - sunlight - but...not so many windows that people would be able to see in if they passed by. Maybe sun roofs? And a veranda sounds nice...with an overhang to keep it shaded, but...facing the ocean?”
"That sounds good. What if you have glass slide doors facing the veranda, and then sun roofs? That way you'll get the evening sun, whether you're out on the veranda or indoors, and of course that should be where you have your living room. The bedroom ought to be more closed off. How many rooms are you going to have? Two or more? And would you like an open planning, with no walls between the kitchen and the living room, or would you want that to be more closed off as well? To keep the smell from the kitchen away from the living room? That could work... But with open planning it would be easier for you to air the entire house out." Maybe he should slow down a bit, not get ahead of himself here, but he did love interior designing, be it either how you'd decorate your home, or how it was going to be planned out. "... I should probably give you some time to think this over." He blushed sheepishly.
“Ummmmmmmmm...... Holy cow, Fuji.” Okay, Saeki knew Fuji liked interior design and related stuff, but damn. “I totally have no idea. I know Haru likes the idea of being able to have all of Rokkaku over at once, so probably multiple bedrooms in addition to a living room and kitchen area, but beyond that.... I dunno. Maybe I should be taking notes so I don’t forget all this when I go to talk it over with Haru.”
"Am I too much?" He rubbed the back of his head, still blushing. "Oh... But anyway, well... I'm thinking that you don't need too many bedrooms. Just big guest rooms with a lot of space; that way you can fit more beds or futons, and it's cozier when you share room anyway. But there should be at least one smaller guestroom, for when you don't have as many people over, or your guests feel that they need some privacy." He drew a few sketches in the book, and then stopped, gnawing on the butt of the pencil again. "How are you going to finance this? This isn't going to be some tiny playhouse, you know."
Saeki shook his head. “You’re not too much. It’s good. It’s all stuff we need to take into consideration with all this anyway, and I’m not sure Haru would’ve thought of it either. It’s really good.” He leaned forward and propped his elbow on the table and his chin in his hand. “Well, I’ve been saving up money, since I’ve been working. I was gonna put it towards finishing up my dune buggy, but that can wait. I’d rather use it towards rebuilding the house. Haru was going to look into seeing if the house was insured. If it was, we should be able to get some from that, too. Plus he’s been saving... We’ve also got a lot of friends that are willing to help any way they can...so I’m thinking maybe instead of hiring an whole team of construction workers, maybe we can do at least some of the labor ourselves and just have a supervisor or two to make sure it all goes up right. …... It might be a while before we get that far, though, but with a proper blueprint, it should be easier to figure out exactly how much it’s going to run.....and we can always make changes to fit the budget...” Saeki had also considered seeing if they could get a loan from a bank to help pay for it, and then pay it off like any regular old house payment, but he wanted an estimate first so they didn’t take out more than they’d really need.
He laughed. “Heh. For now, it’s mostly a ‘this is what we’d like to do’, instead of an ‘okay, here’s what we’re doing’.”
"Okay, I get it." Fuji smiled and continued to sketch down a couple of different ideas and layouts, before satisfied. He then went to scribble down a few pointers here and there that he thought might be useful if Saeki remembered to bring up when talking to Bane, and then he finally handed the sketch book back. "Okay. I could go for something warmer now though. Do you have tea or coffee?"
“You are totally the best,” Saeki grinned, taking a quick glance at the sketches. Even for being just sketches, they were way better than his own had been. “I’ll start some coffee.” His sister might as well mainline the stuff, so there was an actual coffee maker in the house instead of just instant, and Saeki got up to get a batch started. “You know, I’ve missed you too, Fuji. I miss all the crazy shit we did as kids, running around like we owned the world....beating up anybody that teased Yuuta...” He grinned. “We should make a point of hanging out more often. I’d tell you to move back down here, but I think you’re pretty glued to Tokyo,” he chuckled.
"Pretty much, yeah." He chuckled, memories of old cheerfully coming back to the surface. "Yuuta was absolutely adorable, wasn't he?" He smiled, inhaling the scent of the coffee powder as it wafted over. "Just... If you want to get hold of me and can't reach my cell phone... Call Tezuka's house, okay? Not my p-parent's."
Hmmmm....So that explained it. “You know, I did try to call you after the quakes and everything, to make sure you were alright. All your mom would say is that you weren’t home... I finally got Yumiko-nee and she told me you and your folks had had a falling out, but she wasn’t very specific about it...” Knowing Fuji like he did, it was possible Yumiko didn’t know any more than she’d told him, but knowing her like he did, he wouldn’t be surprised if she knew more than she let on. Strange family, those Fujis. “I won’t ask you to tell me if you don’t want to, but...You will let me know if I can help out at all, right?”
It wasn't that he wanted to keep it a secret. Quite frankly, he wanted to be able to talk about it, because if he didn't, he only sent signals to himself that he was ashamed of himself, that he had done something wrong here and not his parents. But on the other hand, it felt like it might be too much for Saeki to handle, considering the recent events. "I'd gladly tell you... But it's a bit on the heavy side. I'm not sure if it's a good time for you." Because he worried more about how his story would affect his friend, rather than if it would end up being stressful for himself. "I want to be open with you, you know."
Saeki brought over two mugs of coffee when it finished, along with little containers of cream and sugar. He couldn’t remember how Fuji liked it, but personally, he took it with more cream and sugar than coffee. “Fuji, you know as well as I do that it’s never really a good time for heavy stuff,” he chuckled, handing Fuji the un-butchered coffee. “Besides. It’ll distract me from my own stresses. That’s totally different. If you’re okay with talking, then I’m okay with listening.”
Fuji liked his coffee black some times, and sweetened other times. This time he needed sweetness, he felt, so he doused some cream into the coffee along with two spoons of sugar. "Well... I don't know if you remember it, but dad was pretty... strict with me when I was growing up."
Saeki nodded. “I remember. I remember always thinking how unfair it seemed that he treated you and Yuuta differently, with you guys being so close in age and all. He could get away with murder, and you got yelled at if you sneezed wrong.” It’d pissed him off as a kid, but his own mom and dad had always told him not to butt into other people’s family business.
"Well, Yuuta was the child who took after him... But I'm guessing if he had known how Yuuta would be pushed around and we had to butt in to save him, he would have thought differently. But anyway..." He paused, cupping his hands around the coffee mug. "I always had this pressure on me that I had to always be the best, you know? Tennis or school or just my general disposition. It was tiring." He frowned. "I thought... hoped, that dad would let up as I got older. It was quite the opposite." He paused again, blowing gently on the coffee to cool it down. "He got... pretty violent."
“Vio---Fuji.” His first instinct was to ask if Fuji was joking, but he knew that Fuji didn’t have the bad taste enough to joke about something like that. His next instinct was to ask why Fuji never told him, but he knew the answer to that too. Between things he’d learned at Rokkaku and the little he’d heard from Bane about some of his cases, he knew it wasn’t an easy thing to talk about. “Damn it. I knew he had a mean streak in him, but damn.” Saeki shook his head. “That bastard.”
"Yeah... I didn't do anything about it though." He frowned. "I... just let it happen. Came up with excuses, the whole deal, you know? Did anything I could to hide the bruises or come up with explanations for them, you know? When I couldn't hide them. And then I ended up with a boyfriend who treated me just about the same way. With an added sexual relationship thrown into it all." He shrugged. "I... Wouldn't have ended it with Ichinose if Tezuka hadn't intervened. I can't ever thank him enough that he did. So then it was just back to dad hit-- no. Abusing me. I'm gonna use the correct term here." Or he'd continue to lie to himself. He didn't want that. "At least with him, there wasn't any sex. ... I thought."
Saeki’s hands clenched tightly around his mug. He understood, mostly from what he’d learned through Bane, that abuse victims very rarely acted to stop it. The abuser was able to control them through fear, and fear can be a very paralyzing thing. Even though he liked to think he’d have done something, if he had been in Fuji’s shoes, he really doubted he’d have been any different. “Fuji. … Why is your dad not in prison right now? I mean, with all he’s done...he should be locked up.” Surely there was something, some reason why he wasn’t behind bars...
"Weeeeell..." Fuji sucked on his teeth for a moment, before offering a bland smile. "After he ra-- After shit hit the fan, Tezuka was furious. He went over to talk with d-dad, and... I don't know. Kunimitsu simply promised that he'll never hurt me again. It's fine like that. Yuuta and Nee-san doesn't have to know the details."
“Hmmmm....” Maybe he’d give Tezuka a call and ask. Even if Fuji didn’t want to know what he’d done...Saeki kind of did. But then, maybe it wasn’t worth dredging it all up if he didn’t have to. “As long as he’s not doing the same to them...yeah, I think you might be right.” Saeki sighed, shaking his head again. “I do kind of wish you’d told me all this sooner...but I get it. I do. It can’t...be easy to talk about.” He got up and walked around the table to Fuji’s side to hug him tight.
Fuji wasn't an overly touchy person. After the rape, even less, unless it was Tezuka, that was a different matter all together - and still, even with him, he couldn't even bring himself to make out, if the touches became too intimate, not yet - or, as he found out now, unless it was Saeki. Maybe it was the whole childhood friend thing that did it. That sense of familiarity and safety that Saeki had always provided. He found himself returning the hug, almost desperately, and even though he knocked the coffee cup over while doing so, he didn't notice. He simply burrowed his nose into Saeki's shirt and held on tight.
Saeki noticed the mug falling over, but he didn’t bother. The table was dark -- nobody’d notice if it stained. “You know, I think, if I ever see your dad again, I’ll probably end up punching him in the face.” He probably wouldn’t be able to resist the urge, knowing him. “But the important thing is...how are you holding up?” He let go a little, just enough to bring a chair over so he could sit next to Fuji.
"I'm... I'm trying. I can talk to Tezuka whenever I need to and..." He paused, pushing himself away from Saeki, if just barely. "... I don't know. I try to function. Go forward. But I have nightmares almost every night and... I don't know." He gave a wry smile. "I've been doing drugs on and off, you know? And right now, I really miss it. And I know that's bad. Really bad. But I've been pretty hooked, and you can't just quit like that. I haven't. Not entirely, because I couldn't deal with the withdrawal on top of everything else."
Saeki put his hand on Fuji’s shoulder. He hated hearing that, but Fuji didn’t need him to get angry about it or to yell at him. So even though he was tempted, he tried to stay level-headed about it. “You need to quit, though, Fuji. It’s not good for you, as I’m sure you know, and I have to assume Tezuka doesn’t know about this, because he seems to be the kind of person that would be pretty pissed off if he knew. But instead of quitting cold turkey, because that can be rough... Try weaning yourself off. I would think that would make any withdrawal symptoms lesser, too...” Of course, Saeki had nothing really to base that on, except the time he’d tried to quit caffeine, but a caffeine headache was nothing compared to withdrawal from other things, from what he did know.
"I know it's every bit as stereotypical as the next one that art students do drugs like there's no tomorrow, but I guess I'm scared that if I do try and quit, even if it isn't cold turkey, that the temptation will be too great when I attend collage. And that I'll crash and burn faster than ever." He sighed, rubbing his temples. "I know the smartest way to go about this would be to become a ronin for one year and have myself admitted to a clinic, but I've already gotten accepted, and it's Geidai! What if I don't get accepted next year?" Leaning back in the chair, a frustrated expression passed over his face. "I just wish I could make this past year completely undone. I mean... Save for me dating Kunimitsu. But you can't rewind anything, can you?"
Saeki shook his head. “If taking a year off is what you need to do, then do it. If they accepted you once, they have no reason to accept you again. Or maybe only take like, one or two of the easier classes, this year, while you try to get everything else sorted out, and then start up full time next year.” He gave Fuji’s shoulder a squeeze. “The most important thing is getting yourself sorted out first. Everything else comes after that.”
"But... It's not exactly cheap. Rehabilitation. And I've got a scholarship to pay for most of my university expenses, but I can't ask Kunimitsu to bail in to help me pay for something like that." Well, he could, and he was pretty sure most of Tezuka's family would pitch in to help him, but it didn't feel right to ask that of them. Even if he saw the logic in it.
“You’re being stubborn again.” Saeki gently thwapped his shoulder. “There are lots of options, Fuji. You can petition the school, explain to them that things have come up that need to be taken care of before you can start, see if they’re willing to hold it over for you for a while.” His sister had done that, with her school, a couple of years ago, and the school had allowed it, as long as she enrolled by a certain date. If she missed that date, she’d have lost it all, but fortunately she had everything sorted out when that day came. “It’s worth a shot, at least.”
"I... guess. Yeah, I won't get any changes done if I sit around and mope, nee~? I should give Hana-neesan a call. Does she still have the same number? I doubt it..." Saeki Hana was Koujirou's sister.
Saeki had to laugh. His sister wasn’t good for much, most of the time, but she actually managed to be pretty dependable when you needed her. When she wasn’t busy being crazy, at least. “Actually, yeah, she does. She’s very attached to that number, for some reason, so even though she’s not on the family cell plan anymore, she kept the number she had when she switched.” He used to tease and tell her she should get it tattooed on her.
"Really?" He laughed. "Well, then it's settled. I'll call her. I wonder what's up with the number though..." A mystery! Of course he would have to pester Hana about it.
Saeki grinned. “Good. And if they need you to have like, letters from friends or familiy as character references, let me know. I can churn one out for ya. They asked her for a few, though different universities have different policies, it at least can’t hurt, I imagine.” Saeki propped himself up, elbow on the table. “As for the number, I dunno. I’ve bugged her about it for so long and gotten nothing. Near as I can figure, she’s either nuts, or just paranoid that if she changes it she won’t remember it.”
"It might be a bit of both," Fuji mused. "She is pretty special, after all." He smiled affectionately. "A--aa. Yes, I'll remember that." He got to his feet. "Now that's that out of the way... Would you mind showing me around here?"
Saeki grinned again and got up, taking a second to quickly grab a towel and clean up the coffee spill. “There isn’t much to see,” he remarked, tossing the towel to the sink. “But absolutely. C’mon, get up,” he pretty much hauled Fuji out of the chair, “and I’ll show you what we’ve got. Of course, you’ve already seen the living room and kitchen area....” He tugged Fuji down the hall. “There’s Hana’s room, when she’s here, but we usually use it as a guest room...”