[LOG] Choutarou & Shishido - Silent Treatment
Who: Choutarou & Shishido
When: 28th May
Where: Walking from school to Choutarou's house
Summary: Shishido went out with Chinen to get drunk and beat people up because he was upset about Jirou. He wasn't feeling well at school and upset Choutarou decides to take him away but gives him a bit of a silent treatment.
Warning/Rating: PG
Player Comments: Another short log. Dunno, just them being kinda cute again ♥~ ... but angrish/blunt Choutarou is fun. Prob lots of typos >.>
Comments/Crits Allowed: Sure thing.
Shishido: *waits for another ten minutes or so until his class is over, picks up his things and head to the school entrance.*... *sighs as he sees Choutarou waiting and feels a heavy weight in his stomach as he walks closer. He has a cut on his bottom lip and a very painful looking bruise under his left eye from a punch he doesn't even remember taking*...*just stops next to choutarou and says nothing*
Choutarou: *After talking with Atobe and everyone he needed to to get permission to leave he'd gone to wait for his boyfriend, arms crossed over his chest he let against the wall with his bags at his feet, staring down at the ground* ... *He didn't know why he was so angry but he couldn't help it, of everything it just seemed like the last straw, then to have his boyfriend argue with him like he had... He shook his head and sighed to himself, then he heard footsteps coming toward him and stopping next to him, looking up he had to force back the instant smile that Shishido-san usually envoked in him, it was easy to do when he saw the brusing* ... Come on. *Spoken softly, he bent to pick up his bags and turned away to walk out of the school*
Shishido: *could have done with a smile, or a gentle hug, or a kiss, but he, himself, was too proud to ask of anything and by the look on Choutarou's face, that he could see with the corner or his eyes, he wasn't sure he would get any of that even if he asked for it.*... Okay... *looks away and follows his boyfriend quietly for a while before he starts to feel a dizzy again and stops*... hold on... *says quietly, a little ashamed of himself really*
Choutraou: *Stops walking after a few minutes when he's asked to and half turns to see what the hold up is, then frowns as he turns around and walks back to Shishido-san and holds out his hand* ... Hold onto me.
Shishido: *stares at it and without thinking twice, reaches out a hand and holds onto Choutarou's arm but instead of walking, he leans his forehead on his shoulder*... Choutarou... *sighs, feeling so guilty it hurts his stomach even more*
Choutarou: ... *Holds himself still whe his boyfriend steps against him and leans his head upon his shoulder, for a moment he doesn't react, he's hurt and he's angry and for some reason he wants to hold onto those emotions because letting them go would be too easy, Shishido-san had hurt him, had done something stupid and no wanted him to be caring and sympathetic and it was hard... But harder than that was holding back from holding the one he loved... Slowly and ever so gently, he wrapped his arm about him, but he said no word*
Shishido: *holds onto Choutarou's top and presses a little more against him as he feels the arms going around him, which is a relief because for a moment he thought he wouldn't*... I don't know why I said I didn't want to come with you, I'm sorry... I give you such a hard time when I know you're just worried... *says quietly because loud noises, even his own voice, makes his head hurt*
Choutarou: ... Because you're an idiot. *answers very, very softly, and even though he wanted it to sound angry, somehow his voice came out tender and almost loving, he guessed being angry with his boyfriend was out of the question* ... Can we go now? You should be laying down.
Shishido: *if he wasn't feeling so dizzy he would have smile to that... there was going to be a lot more of being called an idiot before the end of the day* ...yeah, probably... *says raising his head, still a little too guilty to actually look into his boyfriend's eyes, so he just briefly runs his eyes pass them before stepping away and walking with a frown because the light hurts his head as well*
Choutarou: *As they turn to walk he moves his bags to his other arm, settles them in place and then wraps an arm about Shishido-san's waist, holding him close to his side and, should he stumble, he has hold of him* ... Will you do this every time you get angry, Shishido-san?
Shishido: *shakes his head, looking down to the ground to keep himself steady*... you fucking kidding me? *says in the same quiet tone as before* I don't think I've ever done anything this ridiculous before... *kicks the ground a couple of times* You know, I wasn't just angry...
Choutarou: It was ridiculous... *Agree's quietly before falling into silence again, after a few moments though he finally has to ask, since Shishido-san wasn't going to say* ... What else made you do it, then?
Shishido: You sound as if you’re doubting there is any other reason… *takes a long moment to get his mind in place* I wasn’t just angry that Jirou did what he did… I don’t know if I can explain how I felt. We’ve been friends for… ten years or something… *kicks the ground again* … I never noticed something wasn’t right and I don’t understand. *finally looks up at Choutarou* I don’t get him at all. What is so depressing in his life that he’s been thinking of killing himself for a year? And I hate myself for not figuring out, doesn’t matter how hard I try. *looks away again, his head hurting even more that that he’s thinking about it again* What if he does it? I’ve been there all this time and I can’t do anything, and I can’t say anything because I’m fucking dense about shit like that. Doesn’t matter how much I care, what I say or do… it isn’t enough. All I could do was listen and even for that I’m useless, I explode and say things that don’t help at all. *shakes head and runs a hand over his face* Why is he like that, Choutarou?
Choutarou: *Is quiet as he listens, continuing to walk and lead his boyfriend toward his home, intent to get there, talking about these things out on the street felt strange to him* ... *eventually though he knew he had to say something* ... Someone said it's always the ones you least expect. He's always been the happiest of us all. Endlessly cheerful... How could anyone know when he hid it so well? When they smile just so and never let on... They always smile. *sighs* ... I've thought about it... I've always thought suicide was selfish and cowardly, for people who give up... But I wonder if there's more... if he's just lost faith. I think he could have stopped believing in himself and allowed his sickness to get the better of him. He's lost his ability to believe in us too, otherwise he would never have hid it from us all. Especially not you. I think there is selfishness there too, he's thinking only of himself, only of his limitations, of his weakness... *looks over at Shishido-san and smiles a little* ... He needs someone to be his strength, I think... Like you are for me. I rely on you. And he relies on no one.
Shishido: *stares at his boyfriend as he smiles at him, listening carefully and thinking that choutarou is a lot better at understanding things than he is, maybe because he isn't trying to hide his emotions with anger and that way he pays more attention*... I don't try being your strength, Choutarou, I just thought you needed a push back then. But I depend on you just as much... *looks away again, thinking for a moment* I don't think suicide is selfish. I don't think anything about it. If it's your life, and you hate it, then like anything you have, if it's yours, you should have the right to get rid of it. But... how can he hate his life that much to even think about it... let alone to gamble like a spoiled brat. *looks back at Choutarou a little pale because he hasnt eaten anything yet* There's always something to fight for, even if it's not for yourself. How can someone who has so much lose faith like that... *leans on Choutarou's side a little*
Choutarou: I know you didn't set out to be that way, it just happens that you are now. And I don't want you to feel pressured by that. You're just... the person who means the most to me in the world... *looks ahead then, then lowers his head to look at the ground* ... I... I do think it's selfish. It's all about my pain and my suffering, never mind others who have suffered the same, or worse, and lived through it. People with that frame of mind... they can't think about anyone outside of themselves, friends and family are not even second place to the pain they feel. So they take the easy way out, never thinking of what they leave behind... That's selfish to me... If he was truly suffering, unable to move, in agony, terminal... Maybe I'd be able to offer more sympathy than I have... *sighs again and wraps his arm about Shishido-san more firmly* ... Maybe he's forgotten he has more to live than to die for?
Shishido: I don't feel pressured, Choutarou, I'm happy to be all that to you, you're the same to me so it's easy *looks up at him* No, you are right... I suppose it is pretty selfish, and it hurts.... it hurts knowing that I'm part of the life he thought of ending. Makes me want to... disappear from his life, since it doesn't really matter if I'm part of it or not. But that's giving up, isn't it? I don't do that sort of thing... *sighs deeply, hoping they arrive soon as he's starting to feel sick again, but probably from hunger this time*... but it's scary... I'm scared he'll do it, i'm scared of how I'd feel, and how things would change. I don't like being scared, Choutarou. *looks ahead again, frowning as he thinks about the night before* I thought ... i could do anything to stop feeling scared... i could have gone climb a wall or something, but i was angry as well and it would be pretty dangerous if I wasn't paying attention. *sighs deeply* It's not an excuse I'm giving... it's just what happened.
Choutarou: *He wished that he knew what to say to make his boyfriend happier again, he wished there was something he could say or do to make everything better, but what?* ... Maybe... it's best that we stop thinking about ourselves right now... Maybe we should think about him? If he can't look after himself then we should all look after him. I don't know if it would work or not, it's worth a try, don't you think? *is was really the only way he could think of getting around his anger and unease about what had happened* ... I wish that you'd come to me... But I... I think I understand why you did what you did. *looks up and gives an abrupt smile when he realises that they're just stepping on to his street, his home just down the road*
Shishido: You're right... *nods at Choutarou's suggestion but deep inside he doesn't really want to see Jirou, or talk to him and once he can't avoid him he'll just pretend nothing happened, until he's ready to forgive him, until then he would have to forget about it all*...*looks back at his boyfriend again*... I'm not scared of you though, it wouldn't have worked... not that I'm scared of Chinen either but he's a lot more threatening than you to me... cos... you're like.. my happy place kinda thing... *smiles weakly as he notices where they are, and says quietly again* Thank fuck... I'm almost fainting.
Choutarou: ... If I'm your happy place... maybe... I would have been able to help you with your anger, fear, hurt... without you having to get beaten up? *Smiles a little, a smile that gets wider once he hears his boyfriends words* ... You're almost fainting? *Thinking quickly, he wondered about something, and as they came up to his home he stopped Shishido-san in his tracks, and before he could say a word he bent and scooped his boyfriend up in his arms carefully, not wanting to turn his stomach by moving too quickly, laughing to softly he started walking up the path to his door, expecting to be told off but ready to ignore everything*
Shishido: *stares at Choutarou as his smile grew and wondered why he was so happy that he was fainting... but the answer came pretty fast* Choutarou!! *says loudly as he's picked up but that makes his head hurt so he lowers his voice again* Put me down... I'm not fainting yet! *hides his sore face, that now is completely red, on Choutarou's chest*... urgh... you're showing off... *says in an embarrassed muffed voice, though it feels nice not having to walk another step and just closes his eyes*
Choutarou: *Actually starts to grin as his name is yelped and knows it must have hurt Shishido-san to do it, but he ignored it and carried on walking* I'm not showing off... I'm being a good boyfriend. If I'd realised you were near to fainting before I might have done this earlier. *Glances down for a moment to where his boyfriends face his pressed against his chest and feels an almost overwhelming urge to kiss him... instead he walks up to the door and, sadly, is forced to set the older teen back to his feet as he fishes out his keys and opens the door* ... No one should be home yet, they'll be working.
Shishido: If i were a girl then you would be a good boyfriend, but I'm not so you're being embarrassing... *complains against his chest, blushing so hard his head is throbbing and as he is put down he crosses his arms and looks away, grumpy*... hm, good... I guess... and you better not do that again... I think I hit something or someone kicked me or whatever and I have this big bruise on my side... not that it hurt, but it could have.
Choutarou: I know you're not a girl... I didn't want a girl, I wanted you... *Is still smiling as he unlocks the door and pushes it open, then takes his boyfriends hands within his and leads him inside* ... I was very gentle with you, Shishido-san, I wouldn't hurt you.
Shishido: *blushes more as choutarou's says he was handling him gently... didn't he just say he wasn't a girl? that wasn't helping* And I wanted you, but doesn't mean I'm going to pick you up like that *says in a grumpy tone, that he probably won't be able to keep since the whole frowning is painful* ... but I could if I wanted *he takes off his shoes by the door knowing pretty well he probably wouldn't be able to carry Choutarou like a bride really*
Choutarou: *has already slipped out of his shoes and had stepped into the house as the other was talking, but stops and turns to smile at him* If you have trouble walking then I'm going to do something about it, shishido-san, even if that means picking you up so you don't have to suffer. *holding out his hand again, he let his boyfriend come to him*
Shishido: *looks at the hand and considers not taking it, not because he doesn't want to but just because even then his pride yells at him, he decides to take it though and slowly walks up to him, letting his frown go for the moment* I know that, Choutarou... *says in a quiet tone as he rubs the side of his sore head* … I’m not sure that’s the right thing to do though, you know… picking you boyfriend up just cos you can… *weakly leans against him though*. I’m hungry, I haven’t eaten today.
Choutarou: *For a second he wondered if he was just going to be left hanging, but then his hand was taken and his boyfriend stepped toward him and back into his arms, he smiled then and wrapped them about the smaller teen lovingly* ... What about if I do it because I want to? *Lifting a single hand he runs it over Shishido-san's soft hair* ... Then why don't you go sit in the living room and I'll go and find something for you to eat?
Shishido: Then... I don't know, you like to see me embarrassed or something, is what I think *gives him a little smile before closing his eyes as his hair is stroke... it feels nice and he is glad he didn't stay is school*..*he stays in his boyfriend's arms for a little longer, then steps back and looks at the living room* Anything would do, you know that right? *looks back at his boyfriend and tiptoes quickly to press a soft peck on his lips... since they haven't even kissed yet*
Chotarou: I'll admit you're cute when you blush... but it's not why I do these things. I do them because I love you... *Smiles widely and happily* ... But let me go and make you a sandwich or something, I'll explain how I love you some more when I come back. *At the sudden little kiss he laughed, and before Shishido-san could move away he grabbed him and pulled him close again. He had no idea what was coming over him in the last few days, but there was no use in fighting it, holding his boyfriend back in his arms he bent his head and captured his lips in a slow, lingering kiss*
Shishido: *was just going for the peck really but as choutarou pulls him back there's nothing he can do but to let himself be kissed, his finger closing around the fabric of choutarou's top and closing his eyes*..uhm... *sounds into the kiss and has no intetion of letting go just yet even though he feel very weak and fainty, he just lets his weight be carried by Choutarou's arms a little*
Choutarou: *Is ever mindful of the cut to his boyfriends lip and fragile state, so is very gentle with him, holding him close and making sure he doesn't hurt him... but also can't help but let the kiss linger for a bit longer than was really needed, so when he finally does pull away he smiles down at the other and, with a last, soft kiss to his lips, leads him over to the living room door where he loosens his hold on him* ... Make yourself comfortable. I'll only be a few minutes. *Letting go completely he walks off down the hall and to the kitchen to make something to eat*
Shishido: *only remembers his lip is cut when Chouatrou pulls away and it hurts a little, but he doesn't say or do anything about it. He watches the other walk away into the kitchen, smiling a little... until he notices he's staring at Choutarou's butt, blushes some, shakes his head and decides to take a seat because he's probably not thinking right* Tch... *closes his eyes and rests his head back after a moment*... thinking about stuff like that at a time like this, you're getting dumber by the minute Ryou.... *says in a normal tone of voice since Chouatrou is away anyway, so he things*
Choutarou: *In a silent house sound carried, so he heard the other teens words and, for a moment, didn't really understand what he meant, it wasn't until he started making his boyfriend a sandwich that it clicked and he suddenly burst out laughing, and slapped a hand across his mouth to shut himself up* ... *It took him about five minutes to make the sandwich, grab some soda's from the fridge and hunt down the first aid case his mother liked to keep stocked so he could find some painkillers for Shishido-san, armed with them all he headed back to the living room with a broad grin and sat himself beside the other, handing him the sandwich as he did* Here you go.
Shishido: *was completely unaware he could be heard but he did hear choutarou's laugh, or what seems like a very loud sounding noise that suddenly stopped, but soon that was away from his mind and all he could hear was his stomach complaining*...Hm? *opens his eyes and looks at his boyfriend first, then the food and sits up, taking the sandwich, a little hungry smile forming on his lips* Thanks... *says before giving it a big bite*... you're the best, Choutarou. *keeps eating it happily even if he lip hurts a little, he's always seemed happy when eating especially if it's bread and cheese with anything else in it... and chocolate*
Choutarou: *Just sits back and watches, waiting for him to finish eating so he can give him his drink and then demand, nicely, that he take some painkillers and then have a bit of a rest, because despite how he was attacking the sandwich now, he's seemed very very tired before and he remembered that very clearly* ... *Once Shishido-san was done, he held out the soda (he'd aleady opened it) and held two painkillers in his other hand, smiling sweetly* Now these.
Shishido: *holds the soda and stares at the pills in Choutarou's hand* Do I really need to take that? What are they? *looks up at him and gently press a finger against the cut on his bottom lip, that are not hurting again after eating* Trying to drug me... *jokes, and without hesitation, takes the pills, puts both of them straight into his mouth and wash them down with the soda* ...*as he puts the drink down the presses his hand against his lip again* What did I just take?
Choutarou: *Raises a brow at the first question, and then at the second he starts laughing again and reaches out an arm to wrap it about his boyfriend and bring him gently closer* ... Just painkillers, that's all. Though I suppose I could have made you panic and told you they were aphrodisiacs or Viagra or something like that and I was going to have my wicked way with you. *grinning he bent his head to press a gentle kiss to his cheek* But you're not well so I won't joke... And you need to rest, Shishido-san. You've had a rough night and you're hung over. You've eaten and those pills should ease the headache, so if you like you can go and sleep in my bed for a few hours till you feel better.
Shishido: *takes him a split second between hearing the word aphrodisiac and blushing darkly, his head suddenly throbbing again, let alone after he heard the rest of it* Wicked way?? Choutarou, don't joke like that, for fuck sake... *only blushes more, as if that was possible, when he sees the grin on his boyfriend's face... thinking what the hell did he take when he was in the kitchen, but as soon as he calms down from the shock he decides to play a bit cool and not let Chouatrou tease him so much cos... everyone else does already!*... I don't need any of those, you know... *picks up the soda again just to pretend he isn't still blushing*... not sure I trust you enough to go sleep in your bed now.
Choutarou: *He was just about able to resist squeezing the hell out of Shishido-san for being cute, that blush just brought a bigger grin to his lips than before, he didn't know why he'd made a joke out of that, it wasn't really like him at all, but somehow it had just come out and the reaction had been worth it* ... I know you don't, Shishido-san. *laughing he loosened his arms from around his boyfriend a bit* I promise you'll be safe with me, you can go up on your own and I'll stay down here if you don't trust me to keep my hands to myself. *smiles* I just want you to have some rest.
Shishido: So no Choutarou's wicked ways, uhm? *puts the now empty soda down, smiles and as Choutarou looses the hold around him, he only leans on further* I don't mind if you're there with me. I always seem to sleep better if you are around for some reason. * some reason being that he likes feeling Choutarou's hand brushing against him, whether on his hair or anywhere else really* But if you have other things to do I'll go have my sleep or whatever.
Choutarou: Well... maybe not right now... *Can't help a little blush as he says that, but still manages to smile and, when Shishido-san leans against him some more, goes back to having his arms wrapped about him if that's what his boyfriend wants* .. I've nothing else I need to be doing, I just thought... you would... I'm not really sure where I was going with that. *laughing softly he pressed a kiss to the top of the shorter boys head* I'll stay with you if that's what you want.
Shishido: Right now would be the best time if you were indeed wicked and wanted to have your way with me since I feel pretty lame and incapable of fighting...*looks up at him and stares for a moment or two before smiling*... but you aren't, if anything, you are too good. I need to learn how to be a better boyfriend before you decide to trade or something. *is joking but really is thankful to have someone like Choutarou looking out for him all the time*
Choutarou: *Lifting a hand he gently touched the other's cheek, turning him to face him, as he did he bent his head to place a soft kiss to his lips* ... I wouldn't try anything like that while you're unwell, Shishido-san... And I wouldn't want you to fight either, or think you had to... I don't want you thinking I might trade you in, either. I'd never do that. You're a good boyfriend, the only one I want... *He smiled* Do you want me to carry you to bed? Or can you walk?
Shishido: Well, thanks cos that would be kinda bad *smiles and welcomes the kiss, pressing a little more against Choutarou but as he offers to take him up Shishido blushes again and pulls away from his boyfriend with a grumpy* Tch... I can walk, Choutarou. *stands up and stretches his arm but as soon as he does he winces and touches his side*...Anyway... *starts to walk away*
Choutarou: *Starts to pout after his boyfriend, trying his best Sad Puppy-Dog Look(tm), but the second that Shishido-san touched his side in pain he was up and at his side, rather than picking him up though he slipped an arm about him and held him gently as they walked* ... What's wrong with your side?
Shishido: *is perfectly fine to walk but decides not to complain, having Choutarou's arms around him is always nice whatever the reason is* Nah, i'm fine... I told you, I kinda fell, of someone kicked me or... I don't know, I can't remember... *but he reached and lifted his shirt and there was a quite big purpleish bruise on his side, slightly below his ribs*... it's a little sore that's all. *says not to worry his boyfriend even though it does feel a lot more painful than a little sore*
Choutarou: *Doesn't believe him, and for quite a good reason as, when the shift is lifted and he sees the bruise, his eyes widen and he just about holds himself back from scooping his boyfriend up and running up the stairs so he could have a real look at the injury, but he knows Shishido-san will only complain so, instead, he reaches out a hand to gently touch his side, not the bruise as it looked very painful* ... You could have broken a rib, why didn't you tell me? Shishido-san, you should go to the hospital to be checked!
Shishido: *looks again at it and realises it looks worse than it did in the morning, so he lets go of the shirt* It doesn't hurt enough to be a broken rip, Choutarou, I'm tough, you know. Whatever happened there it's just a bruise. *gives him a little frown and almost a pout though he would deny it if called out on it* And I told you I had it before we walked in...
Choutarou: ... *Can't help looking worried, but says nothing else, just nods as they continue walking to the bedroom, the bruise worries him deeply and means that he was going to make a point of finding Chinen and having a private word to him about the health of his boyfriend and, if he doesn't take it into consideration when they go out, he'll be very irritated* ... You told me, just not how bad it was... *Answers finally before slipping past and opening his bedroom door to let Shishido-san inside*
Shishido: *touches his side again as he walks into the bedroom straight to Choutarou's bed, a bed he was maybe getting to used to*... It's just bruised, Choutarou, I'll be fine in no time. *tries hard to remember what did happen and how he got that thing, it wasn't Chinen because he gave him the one on his eye and that was all it took to have him down on the ground then, but there were other drunks in the bar and he picked up fights with some of them, so it could have been anyone.* I always am....*sits on the bed and rests on his back, grabbing his boyfriend's pillow and putting it under his head*
Choutarou: *Stays near the door to watch Shishido-san move over to the bed and settle himself down as if he belonged there, as if it were his bed, smiling despite himself he closed the door behind him and walked over to his boyfriend, sitting on the edge of the bed he lay back to lay next to the older teen, his cheek resting against his shoulder* ... Can you blame me for worrying?
Shishido: *does feel pretty at home there after speding so many nights a week hugging his boyfriend as he sleeps... so much so he even knows what pillow he likes best when he is not using Choutarou as one*... No, I can't... i do a lot of things that I wouldn't blame anyone for worrying and if you did half of it I'll be quite stressed myself. *brings his hand up and touches Choutarou's face with his fingers, softly, and tilts his head to the side so to touch his boyfriends* ... *sighs quietly and blushes some*... I love you, Choutarou... i'm sorry I'm such an ass sometimes.
Choutarou: *Closes his eyes as he wraps an arm loosely about the other's waist, careful not to put any pressure on his sore side, he smiles at the touch and tips his own head a little to strengthen the contact* ... I wouldn't do anything to stress you. *smiles wider* I love you too. I love you so much you don't have to apologise, not for that.
Shishido: *goes quiet for a moment, feeling happy despite the headache, the pain on his side, his tiredness and weakness and wondering if he did something to deserve a person like Choutarou*...alright,... then I'll thank you for loving me so much you don't mind be being an ass. *smiles, turns his head and kisses choutarou's softly*
Choutarou: *He wasn't going to argue, they'd be at it all day if they did, he just tipped his head and accepted that gentle kiss with a smile, he loved Shishido-san, no matter what, it was that simple, he needed no thanks, but he kept that to himself as the kiss parted and he went back to laying his head upon his boyfriends shoulder* ... *they fell into a comfortable silence then, and while he hadn't been tired himself, the sound of his boyfriends even breaths, his heartbeat, it lulled him to sleep*
When: 28th May
Where: Walking from school to Choutarou's house
Summary: Shishido went out with Chinen to get drunk and beat people up because he was upset about Jirou. He wasn't feeling well at school and upset Choutarou decides to take him away but gives him a bit of a silent treatment.
Warning/Rating: PG
Player Comments: Another short log. Dunno, just them being kinda cute again ♥~ ... but angrish/blunt Choutarou is fun. Prob lots of typos >.>
Comments/Crits Allowed: Sure thing.
Shishido: *waits for another ten minutes or so until his class is over, picks up his things and head to the school entrance.*... *sighs as he sees Choutarou waiting and feels a heavy weight in his stomach as he walks closer. He has a cut on his bottom lip and a very painful looking bruise under his left eye from a punch he doesn't even remember taking*...*just stops next to choutarou and says nothing*
Choutarou: *After talking with Atobe and everyone he needed to to get permission to leave he'd gone to wait for his boyfriend, arms crossed over his chest he let against the wall with his bags at his feet, staring down at the ground* ... *He didn't know why he was so angry but he couldn't help it, of everything it just seemed like the last straw, then to have his boyfriend argue with him like he had... He shook his head and sighed to himself, then he heard footsteps coming toward him and stopping next to him, looking up he had to force back the instant smile that Shishido-san usually envoked in him, it was easy to do when he saw the brusing* ... Come on. *Spoken softly, he bent to pick up his bags and turned away to walk out of the school*
Shishido: *could have done with a smile, or a gentle hug, or a kiss, but he, himself, was too proud to ask of anything and by the look on Choutarou's face, that he could see with the corner or his eyes, he wasn't sure he would get any of that even if he asked for it.*... Okay... *looks away and follows his boyfriend quietly for a while before he starts to feel a dizzy again and stops*... hold on... *says quietly, a little ashamed of himself really*
Choutraou: *Stops walking after a few minutes when he's asked to and half turns to see what the hold up is, then frowns as he turns around and walks back to Shishido-san and holds out his hand* ... Hold onto me.
Shishido: *stares at it and without thinking twice, reaches out a hand and holds onto Choutarou's arm but instead of walking, he leans his forehead on his shoulder*... Choutarou... *sighs, feeling so guilty it hurts his stomach even more*
Choutarou: ... *Holds himself still whe his boyfriend steps against him and leans his head upon his shoulder, for a moment he doesn't react, he's hurt and he's angry and for some reason he wants to hold onto those emotions because letting them go would be too easy, Shishido-san had hurt him, had done something stupid and no wanted him to be caring and sympathetic and it was hard... But harder than that was holding back from holding the one he loved... Slowly and ever so gently, he wrapped his arm about him, but he said no word*
Shishido: *holds onto Choutarou's top and presses a little more against him as he feels the arms going around him, which is a relief because for a moment he thought he wouldn't*... I don't know why I said I didn't want to come with you, I'm sorry... I give you such a hard time when I know you're just worried... *says quietly because loud noises, even his own voice, makes his head hurt*
Choutarou: ... Because you're an idiot. *answers very, very softly, and even though he wanted it to sound angry, somehow his voice came out tender and almost loving, he guessed being angry with his boyfriend was out of the question* ... Can we go now? You should be laying down.
Shishido: *if he wasn't feeling so dizzy he would have smile to that... there was going to be a lot more of being called an idiot before the end of the day* ...yeah, probably... *says raising his head, still a little too guilty to actually look into his boyfriend's eyes, so he just briefly runs his eyes pass them before stepping away and walking with a frown because the light hurts his head as well*
Choutarou: *As they turn to walk he moves his bags to his other arm, settles them in place and then wraps an arm about Shishido-san's waist, holding him close to his side and, should he stumble, he has hold of him* ... Will you do this every time you get angry, Shishido-san?
Shishido: *shakes his head, looking down to the ground to keep himself steady*... you fucking kidding me? *says in the same quiet tone as before* I don't think I've ever done anything this ridiculous before... *kicks the ground a couple of times* You know, I wasn't just angry...
Choutarou: It was ridiculous... *Agree's quietly before falling into silence again, after a few moments though he finally has to ask, since Shishido-san wasn't going to say* ... What else made you do it, then?
Shishido: You sound as if you’re doubting there is any other reason… *takes a long moment to get his mind in place* I wasn’t just angry that Jirou did what he did… I don’t know if I can explain how I felt. We’ve been friends for… ten years or something… *kicks the ground again* … I never noticed something wasn’t right and I don’t understand. *finally looks up at Choutarou* I don’t get him at all. What is so depressing in his life that he’s been thinking of killing himself for a year? And I hate myself for not figuring out, doesn’t matter how hard I try. *looks away again, his head hurting even more that that he’s thinking about it again* What if he does it? I’ve been there all this time and I can’t do anything, and I can’t say anything because I’m fucking dense about shit like that. Doesn’t matter how much I care, what I say or do… it isn’t enough. All I could do was listen and even for that I’m useless, I explode and say things that don’t help at all. *shakes head and runs a hand over his face* Why is he like that, Choutarou?
Choutarou: *Is quiet as he listens, continuing to walk and lead his boyfriend toward his home, intent to get there, talking about these things out on the street felt strange to him* ... *eventually though he knew he had to say something* ... Someone said it's always the ones you least expect. He's always been the happiest of us all. Endlessly cheerful... How could anyone know when he hid it so well? When they smile just so and never let on... They always smile. *sighs* ... I've thought about it... I've always thought suicide was selfish and cowardly, for people who give up... But I wonder if there's more... if he's just lost faith. I think he could have stopped believing in himself and allowed his sickness to get the better of him. He's lost his ability to believe in us too, otherwise he would never have hid it from us all. Especially not you. I think there is selfishness there too, he's thinking only of himself, only of his limitations, of his weakness... *looks over at Shishido-san and smiles a little* ... He needs someone to be his strength, I think... Like you are for me. I rely on you. And he relies on no one.
Shishido: *stares at his boyfriend as he smiles at him, listening carefully and thinking that choutarou is a lot better at understanding things than he is, maybe because he isn't trying to hide his emotions with anger and that way he pays more attention*... I don't try being your strength, Choutarou, I just thought you needed a push back then. But I depend on you just as much... *looks away again, thinking for a moment* I don't think suicide is selfish. I don't think anything about it. If it's your life, and you hate it, then like anything you have, if it's yours, you should have the right to get rid of it. But... how can he hate his life that much to even think about it... let alone to gamble like a spoiled brat. *looks back at Choutarou a little pale because he hasnt eaten anything yet* There's always something to fight for, even if it's not for yourself. How can someone who has so much lose faith like that... *leans on Choutarou's side a little*
Choutarou: I know you didn't set out to be that way, it just happens that you are now. And I don't want you to feel pressured by that. You're just... the person who means the most to me in the world... *looks ahead then, then lowers his head to look at the ground* ... I... I do think it's selfish. It's all about my pain and my suffering, never mind others who have suffered the same, or worse, and lived through it. People with that frame of mind... they can't think about anyone outside of themselves, friends and family are not even second place to the pain they feel. So they take the easy way out, never thinking of what they leave behind... That's selfish to me... If he was truly suffering, unable to move, in agony, terminal... Maybe I'd be able to offer more sympathy than I have... *sighs again and wraps his arm about Shishido-san more firmly* ... Maybe he's forgotten he has more to live than to die for?
Shishido: I don't feel pressured, Choutarou, I'm happy to be all that to you, you're the same to me so it's easy *looks up at him* No, you are right... I suppose it is pretty selfish, and it hurts.... it hurts knowing that I'm part of the life he thought of ending. Makes me want to... disappear from his life, since it doesn't really matter if I'm part of it or not. But that's giving up, isn't it? I don't do that sort of thing... *sighs deeply, hoping they arrive soon as he's starting to feel sick again, but probably from hunger this time*... but it's scary... I'm scared he'll do it, i'm scared of how I'd feel, and how things would change. I don't like being scared, Choutarou. *looks ahead again, frowning as he thinks about the night before* I thought ... i could do anything to stop feeling scared... i could have gone climb a wall or something, but i was angry as well and it would be pretty dangerous if I wasn't paying attention. *sighs deeply* It's not an excuse I'm giving... it's just what happened.
Choutarou: *He wished that he knew what to say to make his boyfriend happier again, he wished there was something he could say or do to make everything better, but what?* ... Maybe... it's best that we stop thinking about ourselves right now... Maybe we should think about him? If he can't look after himself then we should all look after him. I don't know if it would work or not, it's worth a try, don't you think? *is was really the only way he could think of getting around his anger and unease about what had happened* ... I wish that you'd come to me... But I... I think I understand why you did what you did. *looks up and gives an abrupt smile when he realises that they're just stepping on to his street, his home just down the road*
Shishido: You're right... *nods at Choutarou's suggestion but deep inside he doesn't really want to see Jirou, or talk to him and once he can't avoid him he'll just pretend nothing happened, until he's ready to forgive him, until then he would have to forget about it all*...*looks back at his boyfriend again*... I'm not scared of you though, it wouldn't have worked... not that I'm scared of Chinen either but he's a lot more threatening than you to me... cos... you're like.. my happy place kinda thing... *smiles weakly as he notices where they are, and says quietly again* Thank fuck... I'm almost fainting.
Choutarou: ... If I'm your happy place... maybe... I would have been able to help you with your anger, fear, hurt... without you having to get beaten up? *Smiles a little, a smile that gets wider once he hears his boyfriends words* ... You're almost fainting? *Thinking quickly, he wondered about something, and as they came up to his home he stopped Shishido-san in his tracks, and before he could say a word he bent and scooped his boyfriend up in his arms carefully, not wanting to turn his stomach by moving too quickly, laughing to softly he started walking up the path to his door, expecting to be told off but ready to ignore everything*
Shishido: *stares at Choutarou as his smile grew and wondered why he was so happy that he was fainting... but the answer came pretty fast* Choutarou!! *says loudly as he's picked up but that makes his head hurt so he lowers his voice again* Put me down... I'm not fainting yet! *hides his sore face, that now is completely red, on Choutarou's chest*... urgh... you're showing off... *says in an embarrassed muffed voice, though it feels nice not having to walk another step and just closes his eyes*
Choutarou: *Actually starts to grin as his name is yelped and knows it must have hurt Shishido-san to do it, but he ignored it and carried on walking* I'm not showing off... I'm being a good boyfriend. If I'd realised you were near to fainting before I might have done this earlier. *Glances down for a moment to where his boyfriends face his pressed against his chest and feels an almost overwhelming urge to kiss him... instead he walks up to the door and, sadly, is forced to set the older teen back to his feet as he fishes out his keys and opens the door* ... No one should be home yet, they'll be working.
Shishido: If i were a girl then you would be a good boyfriend, but I'm not so you're being embarrassing... *complains against his chest, blushing so hard his head is throbbing and as he is put down he crosses his arms and looks away, grumpy*... hm, good... I guess... and you better not do that again... I think I hit something or someone kicked me or whatever and I have this big bruise on my side... not that it hurt, but it could have.
Choutarou: I know you're not a girl... I didn't want a girl, I wanted you... *Is still smiling as he unlocks the door and pushes it open, then takes his boyfriends hands within his and leads him inside* ... I was very gentle with you, Shishido-san, I wouldn't hurt you.
Shishido: *blushes more as choutarou's says he was handling him gently... didn't he just say he wasn't a girl? that wasn't helping* And I wanted you, but doesn't mean I'm going to pick you up like that *says in a grumpy tone, that he probably won't be able to keep since the whole frowning is painful* ... but I could if I wanted *he takes off his shoes by the door knowing pretty well he probably wouldn't be able to carry Choutarou like a bride really*
Choutarou: *has already slipped out of his shoes and had stepped into the house as the other was talking, but stops and turns to smile at him* If you have trouble walking then I'm going to do something about it, shishido-san, even if that means picking you up so you don't have to suffer. *holding out his hand again, he let his boyfriend come to him*
Shishido: *looks at the hand and considers not taking it, not because he doesn't want to but just because even then his pride yells at him, he decides to take it though and slowly walks up to him, letting his frown go for the moment* I know that, Choutarou... *says in a quiet tone as he rubs the side of his sore head* … I’m not sure that’s the right thing to do though, you know… picking you boyfriend up just cos you can… *weakly leans against him though*. I’m hungry, I haven’t eaten today.
Choutarou: *For a second he wondered if he was just going to be left hanging, but then his hand was taken and his boyfriend stepped toward him and back into his arms, he smiled then and wrapped them about the smaller teen lovingly* ... What about if I do it because I want to? *Lifting a single hand he runs it over Shishido-san's soft hair* ... Then why don't you go sit in the living room and I'll go and find something for you to eat?
Shishido: Then... I don't know, you like to see me embarrassed or something, is what I think *gives him a little smile before closing his eyes as his hair is stroke... it feels nice and he is glad he didn't stay is school*..*he stays in his boyfriend's arms for a little longer, then steps back and looks at the living room* Anything would do, you know that right? *looks back at his boyfriend and tiptoes quickly to press a soft peck on his lips... since they haven't even kissed yet*
Chotarou: I'll admit you're cute when you blush... but it's not why I do these things. I do them because I love you... *Smiles widely and happily* ... But let me go and make you a sandwich or something, I'll explain how I love you some more when I come back. *At the sudden little kiss he laughed, and before Shishido-san could move away he grabbed him and pulled him close again. He had no idea what was coming over him in the last few days, but there was no use in fighting it, holding his boyfriend back in his arms he bent his head and captured his lips in a slow, lingering kiss*
Shishido: *was just going for the peck really but as choutarou pulls him back there's nothing he can do but to let himself be kissed, his finger closing around the fabric of choutarou's top and closing his eyes*..uhm... *sounds into the kiss and has no intetion of letting go just yet even though he feel very weak and fainty, he just lets his weight be carried by Choutarou's arms a little*
Choutarou: *Is ever mindful of the cut to his boyfriends lip and fragile state, so is very gentle with him, holding him close and making sure he doesn't hurt him... but also can't help but let the kiss linger for a bit longer than was really needed, so when he finally does pull away he smiles down at the other and, with a last, soft kiss to his lips, leads him over to the living room door where he loosens his hold on him* ... Make yourself comfortable. I'll only be a few minutes. *Letting go completely he walks off down the hall and to the kitchen to make something to eat*
Shishido: *only remembers his lip is cut when Chouatrou pulls away and it hurts a little, but he doesn't say or do anything about it. He watches the other walk away into the kitchen, smiling a little... until he notices he's staring at Choutarou's butt, blushes some, shakes his head and decides to take a seat because he's probably not thinking right* Tch... *closes his eyes and rests his head back after a moment*... thinking about stuff like that at a time like this, you're getting dumber by the minute Ryou.... *says in a normal tone of voice since Chouatrou is away anyway, so he things*
Choutarou: *In a silent house sound carried, so he heard the other teens words and, for a moment, didn't really understand what he meant, it wasn't until he started making his boyfriend a sandwich that it clicked and he suddenly burst out laughing, and slapped a hand across his mouth to shut himself up* ... *It took him about five minutes to make the sandwich, grab some soda's from the fridge and hunt down the first aid case his mother liked to keep stocked so he could find some painkillers for Shishido-san, armed with them all he headed back to the living room with a broad grin and sat himself beside the other, handing him the sandwich as he did* Here you go.
Shishido: *was completely unaware he could be heard but he did hear choutarou's laugh, or what seems like a very loud sounding noise that suddenly stopped, but soon that was away from his mind and all he could hear was his stomach complaining*...Hm? *opens his eyes and looks at his boyfriend first, then the food and sits up, taking the sandwich, a little hungry smile forming on his lips* Thanks... *says before giving it a big bite*... you're the best, Choutarou. *keeps eating it happily even if he lip hurts a little, he's always seemed happy when eating especially if it's bread and cheese with anything else in it... and chocolate*
Choutarou: *Just sits back and watches, waiting for him to finish eating so he can give him his drink and then demand, nicely, that he take some painkillers and then have a bit of a rest, because despite how he was attacking the sandwich now, he's seemed very very tired before and he remembered that very clearly* ... *Once Shishido-san was done, he held out the soda (he'd aleady opened it) and held two painkillers in his other hand, smiling sweetly* Now these.
Shishido: *holds the soda and stares at the pills in Choutarou's hand* Do I really need to take that? What are they? *looks up at him and gently press a finger against the cut on his bottom lip, that are not hurting again after eating* Trying to drug me... *jokes, and without hesitation, takes the pills, puts both of them straight into his mouth and wash them down with the soda* ...*as he puts the drink down the presses his hand against his lip again* What did I just take?
Choutarou: *Raises a brow at the first question, and then at the second he starts laughing again and reaches out an arm to wrap it about his boyfriend and bring him gently closer* ... Just painkillers, that's all. Though I suppose I could have made you panic and told you they were aphrodisiacs or Viagra or something like that and I was going to have my wicked way with you. *grinning he bent his head to press a gentle kiss to his cheek* But you're not well so I won't joke... And you need to rest, Shishido-san. You've had a rough night and you're hung over. You've eaten and those pills should ease the headache, so if you like you can go and sleep in my bed for a few hours till you feel better.
Shishido: *takes him a split second between hearing the word aphrodisiac and blushing darkly, his head suddenly throbbing again, let alone after he heard the rest of it* Wicked way?? Choutarou, don't joke like that, for fuck sake... *only blushes more, as if that was possible, when he sees the grin on his boyfriend's face... thinking what the hell did he take when he was in the kitchen, but as soon as he calms down from the shock he decides to play a bit cool and not let Chouatrou tease him so much cos... everyone else does already!*... I don't need any of those, you know... *picks up the soda again just to pretend he isn't still blushing*... not sure I trust you enough to go sleep in your bed now.
Choutarou: *He was just about able to resist squeezing the hell out of Shishido-san for being cute, that blush just brought a bigger grin to his lips than before, he didn't know why he'd made a joke out of that, it wasn't really like him at all, but somehow it had just come out and the reaction had been worth it* ... I know you don't, Shishido-san. *laughing he loosened his arms from around his boyfriend a bit* I promise you'll be safe with me, you can go up on your own and I'll stay down here if you don't trust me to keep my hands to myself. *smiles* I just want you to have some rest.
Shishido: So no Choutarou's wicked ways, uhm? *puts the now empty soda down, smiles and as Choutarou looses the hold around him, he only leans on further* I don't mind if you're there with me. I always seem to sleep better if you are around for some reason. * some reason being that he likes feeling Choutarou's hand brushing against him, whether on his hair or anywhere else really* But if you have other things to do I'll go have my sleep or whatever.
Choutarou: Well... maybe not right now... *Can't help a little blush as he says that, but still manages to smile and, when Shishido-san leans against him some more, goes back to having his arms wrapped about him if that's what his boyfriend wants* .. I've nothing else I need to be doing, I just thought... you would... I'm not really sure where I was going with that. *laughing softly he pressed a kiss to the top of the shorter boys head* I'll stay with you if that's what you want.
Shishido: Right now would be the best time if you were indeed wicked and wanted to have your way with me since I feel pretty lame and incapable of fighting...*looks up at him and stares for a moment or two before smiling*... but you aren't, if anything, you are too good. I need to learn how to be a better boyfriend before you decide to trade or something. *is joking but really is thankful to have someone like Choutarou looking out for him all the time*
Choutarou: *Lifting a hand he gently touched the other's cheek, turning him to face him, as he did he bent his head to place a soft kiss to his lips* ... I wouldn't try anything like that while you're unwell, Shishido-san... And I wouldn't want you to fight either, or think you had to... I don't want you thinking I might trade you in, either. I'd never do that. You're a good boyfriend, the only one I want... *He smiled* Do you want me to carry you to bed? Or can you walk?
Shishido: Well, thanks cos that would be kinda bad *smiles and welcomes the kiss, pressing a little more against Choutarou but as he offers to take him up Shishido blushes again and pulls away from his boyfriend with a grumpy* Tch... I can walk, Choutarou. *stands up and stretches his arm but as soon as he does he winces and touches his side*...Anyway... *starts to walk away*
Choutarou: *Starts to pout after his boyfriend, trying his best Sad Puppy-Dog Look(tm), but the second that Shishido-san touched his side in pain he was up and at his side, rather than picking him up though he slipped an arm about him and held him gently as they walked* ... What's wrong with your side?
Shishido: *is perfectly fine to walk but decides not to complain, having Choutarou's arms around him is always nice whatever the reason is* Nah, i'm fine... I told you, I kinda fell, of someone kicked me or... I don't know, I can't remember... *but he reached and lifted his shirt and there was a quite big purpleish bruise on his side, slightly below his ribs*... it's a little sore that's all. *says not to worry his boyfriend even though it does feel a lot more painful than a little sore*
Choutarou: *Doesn't believe him, and for quite a good reason as, when the shift is lifted and he sees the bruise, his eyes widen and he just about holds himself back from scooping his boyfriend up and running up the stairs so he could have a real look at the injury, but he knows Shishido-san will only complain so, instead, he reaches out a hand to gently touch his side, not the bruise as it looked very painful* ... You could have broken a rib, why didn't you tell me? Shishido-san, you should go to the hospital to be checked!
Shishido: *looks again at it and realises it looks worse than it did in the morning, so he lets go of the shirt* It doesn't hurt enough to be a broken rip, Choutarou, I'm tough, you know. Whatever happened there it's just a bruise. *gives him a little frown and almost a pout though he would deny it if called out on it* And I told you I had it before we walked in...
Choutarou: ... *Can't help looking worried, but says nothing else, just nods as they continue walking to the bedroom, the bruise worries him deeply and means that he was going to make a point of finding Chinen and having a private word to him about the health of his boyfriend and, if he doesn't take it into consideration when they go out, he'll be very irritated* ... You told me, just not how bad it was... *Answers finally before slipping past and opening his bedroom door to let Shishido-san inside*
Shishido: *touches his side again as he walks into the bedroom straight to Choutarou's bed, a bed he was maybe getting to used to*... It's just bruised, Choutarou, I'll be fine in no time. *tries hard to remember what did happen and how he got that thing, it wasn't Chinen because he gave him the one on his eye and that was all it took to have him down on the ground then, but there were other drunks in the bar and he picked up fights with some of them, so it could have been anyone.* I always am....*sits on the bed and rests on his back, grabbing his boyfriend's pillow and putting it under his head*
Choutarou: *Stays near the door to watch Shishido-san move over to the bed and settle himself down as if he belonged there, as if it were his bed, smiling despite himself he closed the door behind him and walked over to his boyfriend, sitting on the edge of the bed he lay back to lay next to the older teen, his cheek resting against his shoulder* ... Can you blame me for worrying?
Shishido: *does feel pretty at home there after speding so many nights a week hugging his boyfriend as he sleeps... so much so he even knows what pillow he likes best when he is not using Choutarou as one*... No, I can't... i do a lot of things that I wouldn't blame anyone for worrying and if you did half of it I'll be quite stressed myself. *brings his hand up and touches Choutarou's face with his fingers, softly, and tilts his head to the side so to touch his boyfriends* ... *sighs quietly and blushes some*... I love you, Choutarou... i'm sorry I'm such an ass sometimes.
Choutarou: *Closes his eyes as he wraps an arm loosely about the other's waist, careful not to put any pressure on his sore side, he smiles at the touch and tips his own head a little to strengthen the contact* ... I wouldn't do anything to stress you. *smiles wider* I love you too. I love you so much you don't have to apologise, not for that.
Shishido: *goes quiet for a moment, feeling happy despite the headache, the pain on his side, his tiredness and weakness and wondering if he did something to deserve a person like Choutarou*...alright,... then I'll thank you for loving me so much you don't mind be being an ass. *smiles, turns his head and kisses choutarou's softly*
Choutarou: *He wasn't going to argue, they'd be at it all day if they did, he just tipped his head and accepted that gentle kiss with a smile, he loved Shishido-san, no matter what, it was that simple, he needed no thanks, but he kept that to himself as the kiss parted and he went back to laying his head upon his boyfriends shoulder* ... *they fell into a comfortable silence then, and while he hadn't been tired himself, the sound of his boyfriends even breaths, his heartbeat, it lulled him to sleep*