RP Log-Niou and Shishido
Date: Backdated to about June 26 or 27th...
Rated: PG for Shishi's constant potty mouth.
Summary: Drinks turn into an argument, an argument turns into getting to know each other better...and a walk in the park turns into a new relationship.
"All right, you can quit laughing at me anytime, damn jerk!" Shishido raked back his hair uselessly, but the heavy, silken mass just slithered forward again, slipping over his shoulders.
He was having some serious bad luck with his hair bands lately. Maybe he'd just bought a faulty pack of them. And just his luck, the fucking thing had decided to snap right when he'd tipped his head back to sip his beer. He'd been startled by the slight snap against the back of his neck and almost swallowed the booze down the wrong way.
Not that he couldn't have overlooked it; but Niou had smirked at him, and then laughed as his hair refused to cooperate and stay out of his face. Shishido's face was a touch pink from embarrassment and annoyance. Did he always have to look like such an idiot in front of the man?
Drinks and Niou really didn't mix...
Niou and Shishido had been drinking for only a few minutes now and already Shishido was making a fool of himself. Niou couldn't help but laugh at the longhaired man. This guy was proving to be more and more fun by the minute honestly.
Shaking his head, Niou reached up to his own hair and pulled the hair tie free, allowing the actually long lower half of his hair unravel and fall down his back. The band was honestly rather large for his hair but it was the only on he had had at the time.
Grunting softly at having to use his injured shoulder, Niou continued to smile as he pulled Shishido's hair back up into its usual ponytail. "There. Fixed."
"What are you--" Shishido jerked back only slightly at arms coming around him, reaching behind. The fingers that snaked through his hair sent a shiver down his spine, and before he could blink twice, Niou had twisted his hair back up into a slightly sloppier version of his ponytail.
He had to firmly remind himself that it meant nothing to him, just a nice gesture. They were friends for Kami's sake. Sort of. Just like he had to pull his eyes away from the sight of loose white strands of hair falling down Niou's back...he didn't want to touch them!
Pinker than he'd been before, Shishido crossed his legs under the table, and busied himself taking a sip from his bottle. He muttered a quiet thanks to the other man as his lips fastened around the cool glass.
Since trying to avert his gaze wasn't working all that well, he let his eyes fall casually down to catch a slight twitch in Niou's shoulder. The younger man had assured him it was healing fine...but it got him to wondering about other things, what seemed to be unspoken between them.
Not that he blamed the other spy for not jumping up and down to share. Shishido never wanted to talk about certain things either. Like being drugged and near-raped, and the embarrassing scene of waking up in a truck clinging to Niou like some leech with a hard on. Setting down his beer, it was a long, quiet moment, but he asked, "How are you?"
Niou simply smiled at the longhaired spy as Shishido quietly thanked him. After a moment of drinking in silence, Niou turned to look at Shishido once again and nodded. "Fine. You?" If Shishido was looking for anything specific he'd have to ask a more specific question.
Shishido sipped his beer again, dangling the neck between his fingers as he stared long and hard at nothing. That was something no one had bothered to ask him after this whole mess had ended. Not even his handler, who had reamed him for both his stupidity and his negligence, had thought to ask.
It shouldn't have meant so much that Niou thought to ask. Of course, he only meant it politely, Shishido knew, because he had asked the other spy first. It was common conversational etiquette.
"Peachy. I don't remember much. And what I do remember..." He shuddered, running the pad of one finger around the lip of his drink. "Physical they gave me after didn't show anything but some lingering bit of drugs in my blood."
He set his beer down, glancing over at the other man. He wanted to ask so many questions...ask? Hell, he wanted to demand answers of the other spy. But most of all he wanted to permanently erase that picture in his head of Niou, strapped to a bed, moaning and thrashing from being sexually tortured by that...that fucking pig.
He frowned and with all the anger and disgust boiling in him from remembering that, he almost exploded. "I should have knocked you out and done the fucking mission myself." It was such a bitter taste in his mouth, knowing it was his fault, his responsibility that Niou had allowed himself to be...he shook his head and rubbed a hand over his face.
"And let you take THAT from that dead fuck?! There was no way...he would have hounded you until he had you and I wasn't going to allow it." Niou gritted his teeth at the horrible memories of his past and of this past mission. The thought of Shishido going through something like that in his place was MORE than unbearable. "I'm use to it, and besides, I'm far more expendable than you are to this agency. I mean I'm a former 'bad guy' here. I've caused them MORE trouble then good. Six whole years of trouble compared to the two I've served with them now. To them...I'm a pet. Only this time around, I'm actually being taken care of and treated well as opposed to being beaten, bruised, raped by everyone in that mansion, and tortured to the point of attempted suicide."
Niou sighed before turning back to his glass of Tequila and downing it in one shot before continuing. "My life's not really worth shit to them and I know that. I've accepted that, but I will NOT allow ANYONE to ever experience the shame, the torture, the humiliations, the pain...I myself have been through. I did what I did to keep you safe and get the mission done."
Shishido's beer ran out long before Niou's speech did, his long continuous swallow doing nothing to prevent him from hearing every word. When Niou was finished, he slammed the bottle down, attracting several glances to their table as he tried to decide what he wanted to rip into the other spy for first.
"If I hadn't been stalling for time so you could get yourself out, he would have gotten a fist in the face before I would have drank that shit and let him anywhere near me", he fumed, the argument already underway like a runaway train. "I don't care if you think you're expendable, you idiot! You aren't, okay? There should have been a better plan than you running back to that fucking pig! But you kept going over my head...we were supposed to be partners!" He should have stopped there, but his mouth kept going. "And I can take care of myself! I don't need anyone to hold my hand or martyr themselves for my sake! You think its better that fucking pervert was touching you just because you're used to it? That doesn't make it better! It makes it worse! If you'd just let me think of another way, you wouldn't have had to go through that again at all!"
Their waitress stood by nervously with more drinks, but Shishido didn't even see her, standing now and leaning on the table with slapped hands to glare fiercely at his companion.
Looking away, Niou never really thought about other options, he was thinking more about how he never wanted anyone to go near that ugly perverted bastard. It didn't matter if Shishido was going to be able to do something different, something better; Niou was too blinded with the thoughts of anyone else near him. "I'm sorry Shishido."
That was all he managed to say as he stood as well, solemn looking on his face, paid the waitress, covering all the drinks and leaving her a huge tip as he began to walk out of the door. Shishido had his points and Niou was not going to argue them. Hearing Shishido say those things caused him to feel horrible. He didn't want to argue nor stay there if he was going to continue to upset the other spy. So...he walked out the door of the bar and onto the sidewalk. A cigarette sounded really damn good about now.
The longhaired spy blinked at the apology. Just the look on Niou's face managed to deflate both his anger and his argument, and he was moving away from the table to go after him before he could think of anything else.
"Wait!" he called, following the other to the sidewalk. He moved in, watching Niou light up, eyes following the bright red tip of the cigarette a moment as he made a slight face and put a hand to Niou's good shoulder. "I'm sorry", he said hesitantly. He looked away, frustrated that he never knew the right thing to say when he wanted to say it. Not in real life, away from the job. "I'm just...mad because I keep...I don't know. Fucking up with you. But it’s done, its over. And he's dead, you know? So...so you don't have to worry about that happening to you ever again, right? That's more important. More than my fucking pride" he bit out.
Taking in a long breath of smoke from the cancer stick, Niou hadn't even turned to look at Shishido until the longhaired spy placed a hand on his shoulder. Listening to Shishido rattle on, Niou simply shook his head. "He may be dead Shishido but you were right. I went over your head when we were supposed to be partners. Now I wish I had listened to you instead of allowing my past haunt me enough to blind me. I just...didn't want ANYONE near him. It's not that I didn't think you were capable of handling yourself, I just...didn't want it to be an option."
He took another drag off the cigarette before turning to face Shishido completely. He still had this solemn look in his eyes as he stared into Shishido's for a moment before letting out a heavy sigh. "I'm nothing but trouble it seems. An idiot. And I'm sorry."
"All right, shut up already." Instead of smacking him in the shoulder, Shishido leaned in and gave the other spy a quick hug before he could think better of it. It was just consoling a friend, right? Right.
He drew away and looked askance at Niou. Trouble? Yeah. Idiot? Definitely. But it didn't seem to matter as much now as it had then. He shrugged. "You have your good points", he said, reaching up to pluck the cigarette from Niou's hand and start up the sidewalk, taking a slow drag.
Menthols...he wouldn't have expected it from the other spy. And just the brand Shishido himself used to smoke when he was in high school, before he'd handed himself over to military training and gave up his low-grade addiction to cigarettes.
And it didn't mean a damn thing. Just like it didn't mean anything that his lips were touching in the exact spot the white haired man's had been.
Ok...THAT was unexpected, as was the part where Shishido stole his cigarette. He rarely smoked because of his job but whenever he was in a mood similar to this one, he lit one up. "I didn't know you smoked..." He smiled shaking his head. "But then I don't really know that much about you to begin with."
His mood began to lighten a little as they continued down the street. Where they were headed...they didn't know nor cared...at least Niou didn't anyway. "What was your childhood like? Your family?"
"Yeah, well I didn't know you smoked either", Shishido said around the cigarette in his mouth as his hands unbound his hair to fix the ponytail as he walked. He didn't know where they were going either; he was just walking to walk. It wasn't important, right?
He didn't answer Niou right away on the question though. He thought about it as he pulled his hair tight and rebound it with the other man's band, and a few moments later, took the cigarette out of his mouth to say, "Average, I guess. Happy family camp outs and Yakitori Fridays.... stuff like that. You?"
"What's average? I'm afraid I don't really know or remember anything about my family. All I do remember is that my mother died when I was six, my older sister ran off with some guy, my old man was ditched out shortly after mother's death...and I think I have a little brother somewhere. I just remembering that I couldn't do anything for him and left him on the doorstep of some nice family's home before walking out onto the streets. Got involved with gangs and shit before getting nabbed by that sick fuck at age fifteen and living in hell for three years before I finally got out of there. After that, I got into black market, thieving, hacking--shit like that. Had great teachers during those days. They were the closest thing to an actual family I had ever had."
Niou was looking off in the distance as he rambled off his entire past in a few minutes.
Shishido listened to all that with a sick, guilty feeling spreading over him. Hell. He wished he hadn't asked. He offered the cigarette back, not really looking at Niou but at his feet as he brushed by a young woman on the sidewalk.
"Well, now I feel like a real asshole." He didn't offer an apology...that seemed too trite, not the right thing to say at all. His head raised a bit, hands tucking into the pockets of his worn and frayed blue jeans. "My parents still live in the same nice neighborhood I grew up in, with my little sister. She’s just finishing high school. I have an older brother...he's a married accountant in Hokkaido. I coasted through school...and pretty much everything else ‘til the military. Served almost three years before I stumbled into this gig."
That was his life, in the proverbial nutshell.
Taking the mentholated cancer stick from Shishido's hand, Niou simply smiled and shrugged. "Meh. It's no big deal. I don't really mind too horribly when it comes to telling others about my shitty past. Makes their problems look like fun in comparison." He chuckled lightly taking another long satisfying drag before handing it back to his friend and commenting. "Sounds like a great family. When'd you start smoking? My beginning in that should be obvious. I was twelve and in a gang at the time."
Sucking in a lungful, Shishido exhaled a perfect ring, then two, then three, and flashed Niou a grin. "My brother set me up with his girlfriend's little sister when I was fifteen. Something like a double date. We hung back on the walk home and split a half pack she swiped out of her mom's purse that morning. We were doing pretty good ducking behind trees and putting the cigs behind our backs whenever they looked over, but we got caught when I figured out I was supposed to be inhaling...and wound up coughing my lungs up in the middle of the sidewalk." He chuckled at the memory. His brother--straight laced as he was--had freaked and held it over his head for two years.
Niou chuckled along with the longhaired man before taking the cigarette back and finishing it off. "Hmph. What else can you tell me about you that I don't know? Hobbies, likes and dislikes--things like that."
Sharing a story about his first cigarette was one thing, but Niou's interest in knowing such personal things about him made Shishido a touch nervous. And curious.
He looked over at the taller man with a speculative expression. "Why are you so interested?" He wished there was another cigarette...if he were bolder he might just reach into Niou's pocket to get another one. "It's not like I'm all that fascinating."
Smiling, Niou reached into this pocket and pulled out another one for Shishido. He can't read minds but he can read people. "Well, let's see. I know barely anything about you and what better way to find out? I mean seriously, I'm interested because I like you and want to be friends. You're fun to pick on, you drink and smoke with me...why not want to learn more about you?" He punched Shishido's arm playfully before lighting the brunette's cigarette. "Hell if you want, I can tell you more about me first."
"Great", the brunette murmured under his breath, just after he took a long drag. "Another person that likes to pick on me." Flicking Niou an inscrutable look from under his lashes, Shishido shook his head quickly and gestured aimlessly with his cigarette. "No, its fine. Just didn't get why...nevermind. I'm not sure what I can tell you, though. I drink after work, I only ever smoked if someone else was..." He glanced at the cigarette in his hand, "...social smoker, I guess. I see my parents every Christmas, even though we don't really celebrate it. I stopped going to the shrine after high school, haven't ever found a reason to go back. I'm not really picky about food and I hate it when women ask me what I use in my hair." A lot of random facts...he wasn't sure exactly what Niou wanted, but he paused in his ramblings to chuck the other lightly in the shoulder and offer him a slightly embarrassed smile.
"Good thing that's my good shoulder." Niou chuckled. He then leaned in close, with this sultry look like he was about to kiss the other man but then asked, "So what do you use in your hair?" He laughed at the slight flush on the other man's face and knew he was going to get shoved. "Just kidding. Just kidding. Couldn't resist." He then leaned in taking a drag off the cigarette in Shishido's hand just when Shishido was about to himself.
He smirked as he blew the smoke out through his nose. "So is drinking after work and social smoking your only hobbies?"
Struggling to tamp down the blush heating his cheeks, Shishido only gave Niou the smallest of shoves, thinking of his shoulder before the man again came close enough to his face just to take a drag from the dwindling cigarette. He felt his breath catch softly, eyes narrowing in on the curve of the other spy's jaw before shaking his head slightly to dispel...whatever the hell that was.
"Since...ah...you're not a woman who's gonna ask me twenty billion questions about products...all I do is follow the instructions on the shampoo and conditioner bottles." He took another long drag himself, suddenly needing to steady himself a bit. He kept walking though; expertly sidling past passerby and absently avoiding anything he could trip over.
"Don't have much more, no. I read. Mysteries mostly. Or a good political thriller if I need some comedy. Go for runs, target practice, nothing that exciting." And he was on the job most of the time...when was the last time he'd gone for a run other than to catch his bus? Or taken the time to read something when he wasn't up to his eyeballs in reams of papers for Yamamoto-san or spending his nights checking documents.
Just thinking about it was sort of depressing. He looked back to Niou and shrugged. "Anything else?"
Niou nodded as Shishido rattled off a few more things, before shaking his head and smirking. "Nope. Unless you can think of anything else then that's good for me." He leaned in again taking a drag off of Shishido's cigarette, it still in the brunette's hand, only this time he had kissed the long haired spy's fingers but covered it up with 'trying to wrap his lips around the filter.' "Heh, missed. There we go." He smirked at the other man as he blew out a nice cloud of smoke. "So anyway, I suppose you'd like to know about me now?" He was being a very sly, cunning and inconspicuous tease. He was quietly enjoying every minute of it.
"I--yeah--what?" Somewhat rattled from the accidental kiss, Shishido flexed his fingers. The flare of tingling was fading already. His surprised face drew back into a scowl, and he inhaled from the cancer stick, letting it dangle from his mouth to discourage another fumbling attempt on the cigarette.
"If you want to", his voice was muffled by the cigarette in his mouth. "Shoot."
Like keeping the cigarette in his mouth was going to make a difference to Niou. When he wanted it he'd grab for it. He smirked at the thought that crawled through his mind. He'd do it later when Shishido wouldn't expect it and when they were away from the crowd.
Niou turned and began to walk toward a park as he began to rattle off his own hobbies and random facts about himself. "Well, let's see...I'm sure you know about my past after my little escape from the Yakuza. I'm not really allowed many hobbies that don't require supervision. I'm a former hacker, thief, con artist and a master of disguise. I like pushing the limits to everything. Always learning what I can when I can, studying everyone around me. I love making my own disguises. Other than the stuff I do for the Agency, I guess my hobbies are drinking, smoking on occasion and picking up hot women or men like yourself. I prefer the men though."
Once they were in the park, Niou saw his chance, leaning in close once again, lips brushing against Shishido's, Niou grabbed the cigarette from Shishido with his mouth to take a drag off the delicious menthol stick of cancer and tobacco.
Giving a muffled squawk of surprise, Shishido backpedaled, leaving Niou with the cigarette now dangling out of his mouth. His mind had been unbiddenly replaying the part where Niou said he was hot, and then there were lips on his, and a wickedly skillful tongue flicking the lit cancer stick from his mouth.
"Wh--why did--you could have just asked!" the brunette fumbled, fixing the white-haired spy with an intense scowl. "I swear, if you're just fucking playing with me...", he grumbled darkly as he stalked past Niou further into the park, his hands burrowing into his front pockets. And dammit...now he had no cigarette to smoke. Interesting how the old addiction kicked right back in.
Chuckling, Niou followed quickly after the brunette. "Wait...hey..." He finally caught up with the other spy, grabbing him by the arm to stop him, spinning Shishido around to face him, cigarette between his fingers as he used his wounded arm to pull Shishido into a real, passionate and deep kiss.
Shishido melted. He would deny it later, and certainly he wasn't thinking about it now, with Niou's mouth fused to his own, but he drew closer to the other man, hands leaving his pockets to curl tentative fingers around the spy's shirt.
It took a full minute for his brain to re-engage. "Nn...s-stop!" He jerked back, confusion and irritation flitting across his face. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing? And why are you doing it?"
Niou raised an eyebrow and looked to at Shishido quizzically. "I was kissing you and because it felt good. You were enjoying it for a minute there. Why stop?"
Smiling he pulled the other man into yet another kiss only this one would leave the other spy slightly breathless and speechless before he would start up again with his denial and false anger.
Dear gods. He shouldn't be enjoying this...he shouldn't be wanting this...
Devoid of his protests and breath, the shorter spy kissed back, arms curling around Niou's waist. There were just too many thoughts and feelings...he shoved them aside so that he could enjoy this. Just this once.
When Niou let him back up for air, he struggled to get his breath back for a second, eyes averting automatically and his face reddening. What the hell, here he was clinging to the man as if he were a life raft! Slowly, he tried to disentangle himself.
"O-Okay. It felt fine. Got it out of your system now? Great. If you wanted the second hand smoke, you could've just let me smoke the rest of the damn thing..."
"Fine?" Niou raised an eyebrow curiously. "Just fine? Seems I've got my work cut out for me if all I get is a fine." He smirked at the other man who was hesitating to remove himself from Niou's arms. It was obviously more than fine but Shishido's words simply gave Niou an excuse to try again.
He chuckled lightly before placing the cigarette in his mouth and carefully, skillfully placed it back into Shishido's the same way he took it out. This was certainly one of his more favorite parts of the evening.
Shishido watched that mouth descend in slow motion. Niou wasn't going to try anything with the menthol in his mouth, was h--
He felt the tongue slide the butt of the cig back into his mouth, licking the inside of his lips briefly before the white haired man withdrew. Shishido felt a shiver, and sucked in a fast breath when Niou pulled back.
Big mistake.
Forgetting the lit cigarette was in his mouth, he inhaled an obscene amount of tobacco, and the menthol shot from his lips as he began to cough violently. His lungs tried to expel the smoke as quickly as it went in, and he wound up doubling over from the force of his choking coughs.
Niou was quite surprised by the reaction and quickly moved Shishido to a nearby bench to sit down. "Whoa! Hey you ok? I'm sorry I didn't think that was going to happen." Niou rubbed the other spy's back as Shishido continued to cough his lungs out. "Here. Sit up with your hands over your head. Will help you catch your breath back." He then smiled and jokingly teased Shishido. "No more cigarettes for you young man." He chuckled as he did his best to help Shishido's coughing fit stop.
"Shut...up..." The hacking subsided, and Shishido worked on just trying to breath normally again. Damn it...his chest hurt now from coughing so hard. Still doubled over, he tried to control the panting the lack of oxygen was prompting. It took a moment to realize Niou's hand was rubbing up and down his back, and he might have snapped at the younger spy to stop, but he kept quiet about it. It felt good, as loathe as he was to admit it.
And, it was damned embarrassing to have a choking fit, like he was some beginner to smoking. Just because almost ten years had passed since he quit shouldn't mean anything, right? If Niou hadn't done that stupid swapping thing...Shishido's pride had him sitting up, fairly lightheaded, and stealing into the other man's pocket anyways. "No more cigarettes for you, you mean. I'm fine." He managed to find the pack but delved in again for the lighter. Never mind that his eyes were watering a bit and he was still a bit out of breath...
Laughing at Shishido, Niou pulled the lighter from his other pocket and with a quick 'zip' lit it holding it up for the other man to light his cigarette. "You can have the cigs but you can't have my lighter. This is my lucky on and I've had it forever now. Besides, I like this one." He smirked before closing the lighter again. "You probably shouldn't light up another one if you haven't caught your breath yet but..." He shrugged. "They're your lungs." He chuckled lightly once again as he continued to rub the other man's back. He was going to keep doing it until Shishido told him to stop.
"Damn straight", came the quiet, surly response, as Shishido took a tentative drag off of the menthol. His eyes watered more--he had to blink rapidly to get that under control--but his pride was soothed over a bit, despite his embarrassment.
Or maybe it was because Niou was still rubbing his back. He felt almost like a cat being stroked...wait, wasn't that a bad thing? Especially since he wanted to lean over and relax against the taller man...
He was stronger than some stupid attraction! That's all it was, he told himself. An attraction. It wasn't even like he had to imagine what sex would be like with Niou; he already knew. Well sort of...he wondered if it counted when you were drunk.
And besides, an insidious little voice in his head piped up, why would Niou want to deal with someone like him? He was often...unpleasant. He had a temper. He was married to his job, didn't have time for much else. And stupid things kept happening to him whenever the white-haired man was around.
Hell...why would anyone want him? His mood turned so incredibly depressing in an instant that he hunched over his knees for a moment, staring blankly at the ground between his feet, Niou's hand still moving over his back.
Suddenly uncomfortable with how intimate it felt, he shook the hand off and stood up from the bench. "Stop that", he said quietly but firmly, shoving one hand into his front pocket, the other flicking ash off of the cigarette as he began to walk again. Stupid, he thought. So incredibly fucking stupid. What the hell was he doing, thinking about Niou...that way? He wasn't some emotional, disgustingly sappy, romance addicted, idiotic girl, for Kami's sake. He wasn't someone who habitually did things spontaneously. He liked his job. He liked rules. He liked the fucking book they had to go by.
And he only like Niou as a friend, he decided, solidifying that fact into his mind, unaware he was scowling faintly at nothing.
Looking at Shishido carefully, as the brunette quickly stood to his feet and began to walk off, Niou couldn't help but smile as he quickly moved after the other spy.
Once he'd caught up to him, Niou, without much thought or warning, wrapped his arms around Shishido from behind, whispering softly in the other's ear. "Why are you fighting what you truly feel? Why not give in? Why not let go and do what you truly want to do? I can see it in your face, in your eyes; hear it in your voice. What's holding you back? Denial?"
Oh, that wasn't fair. Niou had a silky demon's voice, pouring liquid sex straight into his ear and down to his crotch. It was tempting, very tempting to just do what the other man wanted him to do. To just let go, relax, do what he wanted...
But what was it he wanted? That little voice whispered a word, but he squashed it ruthlessly down until he couldn't hear it.
He was tense, almost trembling, but his stubbornness kicked in, jaw set. "Nothing is holding me back. I don't know what you're talking about. Now let me go."
"Liar. Why not let yourself have what you want when it's right here, waiting, holding tightly to you?" He gave the other man a light squeeze before kissing lightly, lovingly on the brunette's neck right behind the left ear.
"You don't know what I want,” Shishido protested before he could think better of it. Hell, he didn't even know what really wanted. The kiss made him shiver, even relaxed him into the other man a little.
Niou smirked. "Do you? Because honestly; I'm getting a few different things. Mostly it seems to be an argument over whether to like me for more than a friend or not."
Too observant, too accurate, and way too smug about it... Shishido's teeth ground together impotently, his body going even more rigid than before. "Even if that's true, and its not, what do you care?
"Isn't that obvious? I want you...in more ways then one." He confessed as he closed his eyes and nuzzled his face against the crook of Shishido's neck.
The brunette's eyes widened in shock, making him tremble in Niou's arms. "What...what do you mean? What are you saying?" He tried pulling away but Niou held onto him.
Smirking against Shishido's neck, he whispered. "I like you...more than a friend...I..." He sighed. "I think...I'm falling for you...Shishido."
"But. But...but we only met weeks ago!" It was a weak protest on Shishido's part, but it came out anyways. His hand left his pocket to curl up around Niou's forearm, telling himself sternly that his knees were just fine, not shaking at all, thank you. "And...Well why would you be doing that?? I mean...I'm always yelling at you, and...And we argue and..." He fumbled, trying to think about more, confused as to why he was arguing in the first place.
"Hmph. Tell me about it. To be completely honest, I wasn't entirely sure about this until just a few minutes ago." He chuckled nervously and gave Shishido a light squeeze while burying his face in the other's shoulder, kissing the slightly exposed skin that was there. "I want to be with you...a little more than friends, Shishido. I haven't had a lover before nor have I ever wanted one until now. I guess what draws me toward you like this is that you're so lively, stubborn, a horrible liar..." He chuckled again, closing his eyes. "You came back for me Shishido. Which I know just about any other agent would do but they would more than likely do by the book about it. You threw it out and came after me without a second thought. You...gave a damn about me. And honestly, that's something I've never really had happen to me. People actually caring about me is something I've never experienced until recently."
This was so much, coming out of the blue for Shishido. The cigarette had dropped from his hand as Niou spoke, and rose up to join his other hand, touching the other spy's arms crossed around his chest. "Niou..." It was said softly, hesitantly. What was he supposed to say? Was this...what he wanted? He dithered a moment, gearing up the courage to just slump back carefully into Niou, feeling the arms around him and the mouth at his neck. It was more comforting than sexual, but the pull was there, under the surface. And if he could admit the attraction to the other man...could he admit to something more? "I...I'm not a horrible liar." He pulled a grimace. He'd chickened out. Twisting around in Niou's arms, he gazed up at him, searching his eyes. "I think...maybe..." He fumbled over the words, unsure of what he was trying to say.
Niou opened his eyes when Shishido spun around to face him. He looked into the other man's eyes with a gentle smile, waiting to hear the brunette's answer to Niou's offer.
Placing a gentle hand on Shishido's face, Niou leaned in close, whispering against the other spy's lips. "Will you go out with me? Will you be my boyfriend?"
It would be so very easy to slide forward and meet those lips, to say yes...but the smaller spy couldn't seem to bring himself to just say it. "Is that really a good idea? I mean, we work together, or well, for the same agency and...I mean...I mean..." Damn, why was he so nervous? Everything in Niou's eyes said he was serious, and it shook Shishido down to his core. He bit his lower lip, chewing it worriedly. His arms were already moving around Niou, however, wrapping slowly around his neck. His body knew his answer before he even did.
"Hmph. Does working together really have anything to do with us dating?" He chuckled slightly, shaking his head softly. "You know...you're cute when you're nervous." He brushed a stray hair from Shishido's face and tucked it behind the brunette's ear before running his fingers gently down the other spy's jaw line to hold his chin bringing their lips together in a sweet and passionate kiss.
"Shut up, I'm not--" Niou's mouth silenced him, drawing him closer into the other spy's arms. His arms tightened around the younger man's neck, and as the kiss deepened, he moaned in his throat, finding it nearing impossible to deny wanting Niou for much longer.
When they finally came back up for air, he couldn't even remember that he'd been arguing. All he could do was flush faintly and stare at Niou with a bit of wonder. Guys mostly wanted to sleep with him, yeah...but date him? He'd never been asked that before. "You really want me to be your boyfriend?" He was starting to sound like a Jr. high schooler in some really clichéd shoujo anime, but he couldn't help asking. He'd kill Niou on the spot if this was some sort of fucked up joke.
Smiling at Shishido's reaction to the kiss, Niou nodded. "Yes." He kissed the other spy once again before repeating himself. "Yes. I want you to be my boyfriend."
There was a stretched out silent moment before Shishido's head slowly nodded. "Okay...okay. We'll try it. Yes." A funny little smile hovered over his lips, but the nervousness was still there. His fingers played covertly with Niou's loosened hair and he murmured, "I, uh...I've never really had a boyfriend before." It was embarrassing somewhat to admit, but it was true.
"Neither have I. So I guess that means you'd better tell me if I'm not doing something right, hm?" He chuckled as he kissed Shishido lovingly, strongly, passionately, feeling absolutely ecstatic about the fact that they were now dating. It was amusing really. He wasn't really sure what to do or how to do it but he figured he could always talk to someone and ask them if he managed to fuck up without noticing it. But he'd worry about all that later, right now...he was a happy man.
"Thought I already did that." Shishido had to smile as they broke away now, really smile. He had no idea how this was going to work out; how they were going to figure all the details... but for right now, in this moment, he didn't give a damn. Niou wanted him...wanted him...and it was a hell of a feeling.
"Don't go getting yourself in too much trouble, then. I hate having to throw out perfectly good books all the time", he teased, though he meant it deep down, and willingly moved up to catch Niou's lips in another breathless kiss, tugging on his hair.
After a minute or so, Niou pulled away slowly, a little reluctantly and smiled. "I think we should head back to either your place or mine but somewhere because there's people coming this direction from behind you and I don't think they need to be seeing us make-out here, even though I could care less if they see us but I figured it might bother you a little."
"Fuck." Shishido blushed, arms dropping from Niou's neck quickly as he ducked around him, reaching out to snag one of the other spy's hands. "Where do you live? Did they see us? How close are they? Forget it, we're going to my place. It's closer." He hauled Niou out of the park as fast as his new boyfriend would go.
Being dragged off, Niou simply laughed at Shishido's reaction to the sudden appearance of people in the park. "I live near the agency building. No they didn't see us. Not very...ok. Works better for me really. My place is still bugged so we'd be heard by others in the agency if we did anything." He quickly pulled himself along side his new boyfriend and followed quickly as the two of them made their way to Shishido's apartment.
Rated: PG for Shishi's constant potty mouth.
Summary: Drinks turn into an argument, an argument turns into getting to know each other better...and a walk in the park turns into a new relationship.
"All right, you can quit laughing at me anytime, damn jerk!" Shishido raked back his hair uselessly, but the heavy, silken mass just slithered forward again, slipping over his shoulders.
He was having some serious bad luck with his hair bands lately. Maybe he'd just bought a faulty pack of them. And just his luck, the fucking thing had decided to snap right when he'd tipped his head back to sip his beer. He'd been startled by the slight snap against the back of his neck and almost swallowed the booze down the wrong way.
Not that he couldn't have overlooked it; but Niou had smirked at him, and then laughed as his hair refused to cooperate and stay out of his face. Shishido's face was a touch pink from embarrassment and annoyance. Did he always have to look like such an idiot in front of the man?
Drinks and Niou really didn't mix...
Niou and Shishido had been drinking for only a few minutes now and already Shishido was making a fool of himself. Niou couldn't help but laugh at the longhaired man. This guy was proving to be more and more fun by the minute honestly.
Shaking his head, Niou reached up to his own hair and pulled the hair tie free, allowing the actually long lower half of his hair unravel and fall down his back. The band was honestly rather large for his hair but it was the only on he had had at the time.
Grunting softly at having to use his injured shoulder, Niou continued to smile as he pulled Shishido's hair back up into its usual ponytail. "There. Fixed."
"What are you--" Shishido jerked back only slightly at arms coming around him, reaching behind. The fingers that snaked through his hair sent a shiver down his spine, and before he could blink twice, Niou had twisted his hair back up into a slightly sloppier version of his ponytail.
He had to firmly remind himself that it meant nothing to him, just a nice gesture. They were friends for Kami's sake. Sort of. Just like he had to pull his eyes away from the sight of loose white strands of hair falling down Niou's back...he didn't want to touch them!
Pinker than he'd been before, Shishido crossed his legs under the table, and busied himself taking a sip from his bottle. He muttered a quiet thanks to the other man as his lips fastened around the cool glass.
Since trying to avert his gaze wasn't working all that well, he let his eyes fall casually down to catch a slight twitch in Niou's shoulder. The younger man had assured him it was healing fine...but it got him to wondering about other things, what seemed to be unspoken between them.
Not that he blamed the other spy for not jumping up and down to share. Shishido never wanted to talk about certain things either. Like being drugged and near-raped, and the embarrassing scene of waking up in a truck clinging to Niou like some leech with a hard on. Setting down his beer, it was a long, quiet moment, but he asked, "How are you?"
Niou simply smiled at the longhaired spy as Shishido quietly thanked him. After a moment of drinking in silence, Niou turned to look at Shishido once again and nodded. "Fine. You?" If Shishido was looking for anything specific he'd have to ask a more specific question.
Shishido sipped his beer again, dangling the neck between his fingers as he stared long and hard at nothing. That was something no one had bothered to ask him after this whole mess had ended. Not even his handler, who had reamed him for both his stupidity and his negligence, had thought to ask.
It shouldn't have meant so much that Niou thought to ask. Of course, he only meant it politely, Shishido knew, because he had asked the other spy first. It was common conversational etiquette.
"Peachy. I don't remember much. And what I do remember..." He shuddered, running the pad of one finger around the lip of his drink. "Physical they gave me after didn't show anything but some lingering bit of drugs in my blood."
He set his beer down, glancing over at the other man. He wanted to ask so many questions...ask? Hell, he wanted to demand answers of the other spy. But most of all he wanted to permanently erase that picture in his head of Niou, strapped to a bed, moaning and thrashing from being sexually tortured by that...that fucking pig.
He frowned and with all the anger and disgust boiling in him from remembering that, he almost exploded. "I should have knocked you out and done the fucking mission myself." It was such a bitter taste in his mouth, knowing it was his fault, his responsibility that Niou had allowed himself to be...he shook his head and rubbed a hand over his face.
"And let you take THAT from that dead fuck?! There was no way...he would have hounded you until he had you and I wasn't going to allow it." Niou gritted his teeth at the horrible memories of his past and of this past mission. The thought of Shishido going through something like that in his place was MORE than unbearable. "I'm use to it, and besides, I'm far more expendable than you are to this agency. I mean I'm a former 'bad guy' here. I've caused them MORE trouble then good. Six whole years of trouble compared to the two I've served with them now. To them...I'm a pet. Only this time around, I'm actually being taken care of and treated well as opposed to being beaten, bruised, raped by everyone in that mansion, and tortured to the point of attempted suicide."
Niou sighed before turning back to his glass of Tequila and downing it in one shot before continuing. "My life's not really worth shit to them and I know that. I've accepted that, but I will NOT allow ANYONE to ever experience the shame, the torture, the humiliations, the pain...I myself have been through. I did what I did to keep you safe and get the mission done."
Shishido's beer ran out long before Niou's speech did, his long continuous swallow doing nothing to prevent him from hearing every word. When Niou was finished, he slammed the bottle down, attracting several glances to their table as he tried to decide what he wanted to rip into the other spy for first.
"If I hadn't been stalling for time so you could get yourself out, he would have gotten a fist in the face before I would have drank that shit and let him anywhere near me", he fumed, the argument already underway like a runaway train. "I don't care if you think you're expendable, you idiot! You aren't, okay? There should have been a better plan than you running back to that fucking pig! But you kept going over my head...we were supposed to be partners!" He should have stopped there, but his mouth kept going. "And I can take care of myself! I don't need anyone to hold my hand or martyr themselves for my sake! You think its better that fucking pervert was touching you just because you're used to it? That doesn't make it better! It makes it worse! If you'd just let me think of another way, you wouldn't have had to go through that again at all!"
Their waitress stood by nervously with more drinks, but Shishido didn't even see her, standing now and leaning on the table with slapped hands to glare fiercely at his companion.
Looking away, Niou never really thought about other options, he was thinking more about how he never wanted anyone to go near that ugly perverted bastard. It didn't matter if Shishido was going to be able to do something different, something better; Niou was too blinded with the thoughts of anyone else near him. "I'm sorry Shishido."
That was all he managed to say as he stood as well, solemn looking on his face, paid the waitress, covering all the drinks and leaving her a huge tip as he began to walk out of the door. Shishido had his points and Niou was not going to argue them. Hearing Shishido say those things caused him to feel horrible. He didn't want to argue nor stay there if he was going to continue to upset the other spy. So...he walked out the door of the bar and onto the sidewalk. A cigarette sounded really damn good about now.
The longhaired spy blinked at the apology. Just the look on Niou's face managed to deflate both his anger and his argument, and he was moving away from the table to go after him before he could think of anything else.
"Wait!" he called, following the other to the sidewalk. He moved in, watching Niou light up, eyes following the bright red tip of the cigarette a moment as he made a slight face and put a hand to Niou's good shoulder. "I'm sorry", he said hesitantly. He looked away, frustrated that he never knew the right thing to say when he wanted to say it. Not in real life, away from the job. "I'm just...mad because I keep...I don't know. Fucking up with you. But it’s done, its over. And he's dead, you know? So...so you don't have to worry about that happening to you ever again, right? That's more important. More than my fucking pride" he bit out.
Taking in a long breath of smoke from the cancer stick, Niou hadn't even turned to look at Shishido until the longhaired spy placed a hand on his shoulder. Listening to Shishido rattle on, Niou simply shook his head. "He may be dead Shishido but you were right. I went over your head when we were supposed to be partners. Now I wish I had listened to you instead of allowing my past haunt me enough to blind me. I just...didn't want ANYONE near him. It's not that I didn't think you were capable of handling yourself, I just...didn't want it to be an option."
He took another drag off the cigarette before turning to face Shishido completely. He still had this solemn look in his eyes as he stared into Shishido's for a moment before letting out a heavy sigh. "I'm nothing but trouble it seems. An idiot. And I'm sorry."
"All right, shut up already." Instead of smacking him in the shoulder, Shishido leaned in and gave the other spy a quick hug before he could think better of it. It was just consoling a friend, right? Right.
He drew away and looked askance at Niou. Trouble? Yeah. Idiot? Definitely. But it didn't seem to matter as much now as it had then. He shrugged. "You have your good points", he said, reaching up to pluck the cigarette from Niou's hand and start up the sidewalk, taking a slow drag.
Menthols...he wouldn't have expected it from the other spy. And just the brand Shishido himself used to smoke when he was in high school, before he'd handed himself over to military training and gave up his low-grade addiction to cigarettes.
And it didn't mean a damn thing. Just like it didn't mean anything that his lips were touching in the exact spot the white haired man's had been.
Ok...THAT was unexpected, as was the part where Shishido stole his cigarette. He rarely smoked because of his job but whenever he was in a mood similar to this one, he lit one up. "I didn't know you smoked..." He smiled shaking his head. "But then I don't really know that much about you to begin with."
His mood began to lighten a little as they continued down the street. Where they were headed...they didn't know nor cared...at least Niou didn't anyway. "What was your childhood like? Your family?"
"Yeah, well I didn't know you smoked either", Shishido said around the cigarette in his mouth as his hands unbound his hair to fix the ponytail as he walked. He didn't know where they were going either; he was just walking to walk. It wasn't important, right?
He didn't answer Niou right away on the question though. He thought about it as he pulled his hair tight and rebound it with the other man's band, and a few moments later, took the cigarette out of his mouth to say, "Average, I guess. Happy family camp outs and Yakitori Fridays.... stuff like that. You?"
"What's average? I'm afraid I don't really know or remember anything about my family. All I do remember is that my mother died when I was six, my older sister ran off with some guy, my old man was ditched out shortly after mother's death...and I think I have a little brother somewhere. I just remembering that I couldn't do anything for him and left him on the doorstep of some nice family's home before walking out onto the streets. Got involved with gangs and shit before getting nabbed by that sick fuck at age fifteen and living in hell for three years before I finally got out of there. After that, I got into black market, thieving, hacking--shit like that. Had great teachers during those days. They were the closest thing to an actual family I had ever had."
Niou was looking off in the distance as he rambled off his entire past in a few minutes.
Shishido listened to all that with a sick, guilty feeling spreading over him. Hell. He wished he hadn't asked. He offered the cigarette back, not really looking at Niou but at his feet as he brushed by a young woman on the sidewalk.
"Well, now I feel like a real asshole." He didn't offer an apology...that seemed too trite, not the right thing to say at all. His head raised a bit, hands tucking into the pockets of his worn and frayed blue jeans. "My parents still live in the same nice neighborhood I grew up in, with my little sister. She’s just finishing high school. I have an older brother...he's a married accountant in Hokkaido. I coasted through school...and pretty much everything else ‘til the military. Served almost three years before I stumbled into this gig."
That was his life, in the proverbial nutshell.
Taking the mentholated cancer stick from Shishido's hand, Niou simply smiled and shrugged. "Meh. It's no big deal. I don't really mind too horribly when it comes to telling others about my shitty past. Makes their problems look like fun in comparison." He chuckled lightly taking another long satisfying drag before handing it back to his friend and commenting. "Sounds like a great family. When'd you start smoking? My beginning in that should be obvious. I was twelve and in a gang at the time."
Sucking in a lungful, Shishido exhaled a perfect ring, then two, then three, and flashed Niou a grin. "My brother set me up with his girlfriend's little sister when I was fifteen. Something like a double date. We hung back on the walk home and split a half pack she swiped out of her mom's purse that morning. We were doing pretty good ducking behind trees and putting the cigs behind our backs whenever they looked over, but we got caught when I figured out I was supposed to be inhaling...and wound up coughing my lungs up in the middle of the sidewalk." He chuckled at the memory. His brother--straight laced as he was--had freaked and held it over his head for two years.
Niou chuckled along with the longhaired man before taking the cigarette back and finishing it off. "Hmph. What else can you tell me about you that I don't know? Hobbies, likes and dislikes--things like that."
Sharing a story about his first cigarette was one thing, but Niou's interest in knowing such personal things about him made Shishido a touch nervous. And curious.
He looked over at the taller man with a speculative expression. "Why are you so interested?" He wished there was another cigarette...if he were bolder he might just reach into Niou's pocket to get another one. "It's not like I'm all that fascinating."
Smiling, Niou reached into this pocket and pulled out another one for Shishido. He can't read minds but he can read people. "Well, let's see. I know barely anything about you and what better way to find out? I mean seriously, I'm interested because I like you and want to be friends. You're fun to pick on, you drink and smoke with me...why not want to learn more about you?" He punched Shishido's arm playfully before lighting the brunette's cigarette. "Hell if you want, I can tell you more about me first."
"Great", the brunette murmured under his breath, just after he took a long drag. "Another person that likes to pick on me." Flicking Niou an inscrutable look from under his lashes, Shishido shook his head quickly and gestured aimlessly with his cigarette. "No, its fine. Just didn't get why...nevermind. I'm not sure what I can tell you, though. I drink after work, I only ever smoked if someone else was..." He glanced at the cigarette in his hand, "...social smoker, I guess. I see my parents every Christmas, even though we don't really celebrate it. I stopped going to the shrine after high school, haven't ever found a reason to go back. I'm not really picky about food and I hate it when women ask me what I use in my hair." A lot of random facts...he wasn't sure exactly what Niou wanted, but he paused in his ramblings to chuck the other lightly in the shoulder and offer him a slightly embarrassed smile.
"Good thing that's my good shoulder." Niou chuckled. He then leaned in close, with this sultry look like he was about to kiss the other man but then asked, "So what do you use in your hair?" He laughed at the slight flush on the other man's face and knew he was going to get shoved. "Just kidding. Just kidding. Couldn't resist." He then leaned in taking a drag off the cigarette in Shishido's hand just when Shishido was about to himself.
He smirked as he blew the smoke out through his nose. "So is drinking after work and social smoking your only hobbies?"
Struggling to tamp down the blush heating his cheeks, Shishido only gave Niou the smallest of shoves, thinking of his shoulder before the man again came close enough to his face just to take a drag from the dwindling cigarette. He felt his breath catch softly, eyes narrowing in on the curve of the other spy's jaw before shaking his head slightly to dispel...whatever the hell that was.
"Since...ah...you're not a woman who's gonna ask me twenty billion questions about products...all I do is follow the instructions on the shampoo and conditioner bottles." He took another long drag himself, suddenly needing to steady himself a bit. He kept walking though; expertly sidling past passerby and absently avoiding anything he could trip over.
"Don't have much more, no. I read. Mysteries mostly. Or a good political thriller if I need some comedy. Go for runs, target practice, nothing that exciting." And he was on the job most of the time...when was the last time he'd gone for a run other than to catch his bus? Or taken the time to read something when he wasn't up to his eyeballs in reams of papers for Yamamoto-san or spending his nights checking documents.
Just thinking about it was sort of depressing. He looked back to Niou and shrugged. "Anything else?"
Niou nodded as Shishido rattled off a few more things, before shaking his head and smirking. "Nope. Unless you can think of anything else then that's good for me." He leaned in again taking a drag off of Shishido's cigarette, it still in the brunette's hand, only this time he had kissed the long haired spy's fingers but covered it up with 'trying to wrap his lips around the filter.' "Heh, missed. There we go." He smirked at the other man as he blew out a nice cloud of smoke. "So anyway, I suppose you'd like to know about me now?" He was being a very sly, cunning and inconspicuous tease. He was quietly enjoying every minute of it.
"I--yeah--what?" Somewhat rattled from the accidental kiss, Shishido flexed his fingers. The flare of tingling was fading already. His surprised face drew back into a scowl, and he inhaled from the cancer stick, letting it dangle from his mouth to discourage another fumbling attempt on the cigarette.
"If you want to", his voice was muffled by the cigarette in his mouth. "Shoot."
Like keeping the cigarette in his mouth was going to make a difference to Niou. When he wanted it he'd grab for it. He smirked at the thought that crawled through his mind. He'd do it later when Shishido wouldn't expect it and when they were away from the crowd.
Niou turned and began to walk toward a park as he began to rattle off his own hobbies and random facts about himself. "Well, let's see...I'm sure you know about my past after my little escape from the Yakuza. I'm not really allowed many hobbies that don't require supervision. I'm a former hacker, thief, con artist and a master of disguise. I like pushing the limits to everything. Always learning what I can when I can, studying everyone around me. I love making my own disguises. Other than the stuff I do for the Agency, I guess my hobbies are drinking, smoking on occasion and picking up hot women or men like yourself. I prefer the men though."
Once they were in the park, Niou saw his chance, leaning in close once again, lips brushing against Shishido's, Niou grabbed the cigarette from Shishido with his mouth to take a drag off the delicious menthol stick of cancer and tobacco.
Giving a muffled squawk of surprise, Shishido backpedaled, leaving Niou with the cigarette now dangling out of his mouth. His mind had been unbiddenly replaying the part where Niou said he was hot, and then there were lips on his, and a wickedly skillful tongue flicking the lit cancer stick from his mouth.
"Wh--why did--you could have just asked!" the brunette fumbled, fixing the white-haired spy with an intense scowl. "I swear, if you're just fucking playing with me...", he grumbled darkly as he stalked past Niou further into the park, his hands burrowing into his front pockets. And dammit...now he had no cigarette to smoke. Interesting how the old addiction kicked right back in.
Chuckling, Niou followed quickly after the brunette. "Wait...hey..." He finally caught up with the other spy, grabbing him by the arm to stop him, spinning Shishido around to face him, cigarette between his fingers as he used his wounded arm to pull Shishido into a real, passionate and deep kiss.
Shishido melted. He would deny it later, and certainly he wasn't thinking about it now, with Niou's mouth fused to his own, but he drew closer to the other man, hands leaving his pockets to curl tentative fingers around the spy's shirt.
It took a full minute for his brain to re-engage. "Nn...s-stop!" He jerked back, confusion and irritation flitting across his face. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing? And why are you doing it?"
Niou raised an eyebrow and looked to at Shishido quizzically. "I was kissing you and because it felt good. You were enjoying it for a minute there. Why stop?"
Smiling he pulled the other man into yet another kiss only this one would leave the other spy slightly breathless and speechless before he would start up again with his denial and false anger.
Dear gods. He shouldn't be enjoying this...he shouldn't be wanting this...
Devoid of his protests and breath, the shorter spy kissed back, arms curling around Niou's waist. There were just too many thoughts and feelings...he shoved them aside so that he could enjoy this. Just this once.
When Niou let him back up for air, he struggled to get his breath back for a second, eyes averting automatically and his face reddening. What the hell, here he was clinging to the man as if he were a life raft! Slowly, he tried to disentangle himself.
"O-Okay. It felt fine. Got it out of your system now? Great. If you wanted the second hand smoke, you could've just let me smoke the rest of the damn thing..."
"Fine?" Niou raised an eyebrow curiously. "Just fine? Seems I've got my work cut out for me if all I get is a fine." He smirked at the other man who was hesitating to remove himself from Niou's arms. It was obviously more than fine but Shishido's words simply gave Niou an excuse to try again.
He chuckled lightly before placing the cigarette in his mouth and carefully, skillfully placed it back into Shishido's the same way he took it out. This was certainly one of his more favorite parts of the evening.
Shishido watched that mouth descend in slow motion. Niou wasn't going to try anything with the menthol in his mouth, was h--
He felt the tongue slide the butt of the cig back into his mouth, licking the inside of his lips briefly before the white haired man withdrew. Shishido felt a shiver, and sucked in a fast breath when Niou pulled back.
Big mistake.
Forgetting the lit cigarette was in his mouth, he inhaled an obscene amount of tobacco, and the menthol shot from his lips as he began to cough violently. His lungs tried to expel the smoke as quickly as it went in, and he wound up doubling over from the force of his choking coughs.
Niou was quite surprised by the reaction and quickly moved Shishido to a nearby bench to sit down. "Whoa! Hey you ok? I'm sorry I didn't think that was going to happen." Niou rubbed the other spy's back as Shishido continued to cough his lungs out. "Here. Sit up with your hands over your head. Will help you catch your breath back." He then smiled and jokingly teased Shishido. "No more cigarettes for you young man." He chuckled as he did his best to help Shishido's coughing fit stop.
"Shut...up..." The hacking subsided, and Shishido worked on just trying to breath normally again. Damn it...his chest hurt now from coughing so hard. Still doubled over, he tried to control the panting the lack of oxygen was prompting. It took a moment to realize Niou's hand was rubbing up and down his back, and he might have snapped at the younger spy to stop, but he kept quiet about it. It felt good, as loathe as he was to admit it.
And, it was damned embarrassing to have a choking fit, like he was some beginner to smoking. Just because almost ten years had passed since he quit shouldn't mean anything, right? If Niou hadn't done that stupid swapping thing...Shishido's pride had him sitting up, fairly lightheaded, and stealing into the other man's pocket anyways. "No more cigarettes for you, you mean. I'm fine." He managed to find the pack but delved in again for the lighter. Never mind that his eyes were watering a bit and he was still a bit out of breath...
Laughing at Shishido, Niou pulled the lighter from his other pocket and with a quick 'zip' lit it holding it up for the other man to light his cigarette. "You can have the cigs but you can't have my lighter. This is my lucky on and I've had it forever now. Besides, I like this one." He smirked before closing the lighter again. "You probably shouldn't light up another one if you haven't caught your breath yet but..." He shrugged. "They're your lungs." He chuckled lightly once again as he continued to rub the other man's back. He was going to keep doing it until Shishido told him to stop.
"Damn straight", came the quiet, surly response, as Shishido took a tentative drag off of the menthol. His eyes watered more--he had to blink rapidly to get that under control--but his pride was soothed over a bit, despite his embarrassment.
Or maybe it was because Niou was still rubbing his back. He felt almost like a cat being stroked...wait, wasn't that a bad thing? Especially since he wanted to lean over and relax against the taller man...
He was stronger than some stupid attraction! That's all it was, he told himself. An attraction. It wasn't even like he had to imagine what sex would be like with Niou; he already knew. Well sort of...he wondered if it counted when you were drunk.
And besides, an insidious little voice in his head piped up, why would Niou want to deal with someone like him? He was often...unpleasant. He had a temper. He was married to his job, didn't have time for much else. And stupid things kept happening to him whenever the white-haired man was around.
Hell...why would anyone want him? His mood turned so incredibly depressing in an instant that he hunched over his knees for a moment, staring blankly at the ground between his feet, Niou's hand still moving over his back.
Suddenly uncomfortable with how intimate it felt, he shook the hand off and stood up from the bench. "Stop that", he said quietly but firmly, shoving one hand into his front pocket, the other flicking ash off of the cigarette as he began to walk again. Stupid, he thought. So incredibly fucking stupid. What the hell was he doing, thinking about Niou...that way? He wasn't some emotional, disgustingly sappy, romance addicted, idiotic girl, for Kami's sake. He wasn't someone who habitually did things spontaneously. He liked his job. He liked rules. He liked the fucking book they had to go by.
And he only like Niou as a friend, he decided, solidifying that fact into his mind, unaware he was scowling faintly at nothing.
Looking at Shishido carefully, as the brunette quickly stood to his feet and began to walk off, Niou couldn't help but smile as he quickly moved after the other spy.
Once he'd caught up to him, Niou, without much thought or warning, wrapped his arms around Shishido from behind, whispering softly in the other's ear. "Why are you fighting what you truly feel? Why not give in? Why not let go and do what you truly want to do? I can see it in your face, in your eyes; hear it in your voice. What's holding you back? Denial?"
Oh, that wasn't fair. Niou had a silky demon's voice, pouring liquid sex straight into his ear and down to his crotch. It was tempting, very tempting to just do what the other man wanted him to do. To just let go, relax, do what he wanted...
But what was it he wanted? That little voice whispered a word, but he squashed it ruthlessly down until he couldn't hear it.
He was tense, almost trembling, but his stubbornness kicked in, jaw set. "Nothing is holding me back. I don't know what you're talking about. Now let me go."
"Liar. Why not let yourself have what you want when it's right here, waiting, holding tightly to you?" He gave the other man a light squeeze before kissing lightly, lovingly on the brunette's neck right behind the left ear.
"You don't know what I want,” Shishido protested before he could think better of it. Hell, he didn't even know what really wanted. The kiss made him shiver, even relaxed him into the other man a little.
Niou smirked. "Do you? Because honestly; I'm getting a few different things. Mostly it seems to be an argument over whether to like me for more than a friend or not."
Too observant, too accurate, and way too smug about it... Shishido's teeth ground together impotently, his body going even more rigid than before. "Even if that's true, and its not, what do you care?
"Isn't that obvious? I want you...in more ways then one." He confessed as he closed his eyes and nuzzled his face against the crook of Shishido's neck.
The brunette's eyes widened in shock, making him tremble in Niou's arms. "What...what do you mean? What are you saying?" He tried pulling away but Niou held onto him.
Smirking against Shishido's neck, he whispered. "I like you...more than a friend...I..." He sighed. "I think...I'm falling for you...Shishido."
"But. But...but we only met weeks ago!" It was a weak protest on Shishido's part, but it came out anyways. His hand left his pocket to curl up around Niou's forearm, telling himself sternly that his knees were just fine, not shaking at all, thank you. "And...Well why would you be doing that?? I mean...I'm always yelling at you, and...And we argue and..." He fumbled, trying to think about more, confused as to why he was arguing in the first place.
"Hmph. Tell me about it. To be completely honest, I wasn't entirely sure about this until just a few minutes ago." He chuckled nervously and gave Shishido a light squeeze while burying his face in the other's shoulder, kissing the slightly exposed skin that was there. "I want to be with you...a little more than friends, Shishido. I haven't had a lover before nor have I ever wanted one until now. I guess what draws me toward you like this is that you're so lively, stubborn, a horrible liar..." He chuckled again, closing his eyes. "You came back for me Shishido. Which I know just about any other agent would do but they would more than likely do by the book about it. You threw it out and came after me without a second thought. You...gave a damn about me. And honestly, that's something I've never really had happen to me. People actually caring about me is something I've never experienced until recently."
This was so much, coming out of the blue for Shishido. The cigarette had dropped from his hand as Niou spoke, and rose up to join his other hand, touching the other spy's arms crossed around his chest. "Niou..." It was said softly, hesitantly. What was he supposed to say? Was this...what he wanted? He dithered a moment, gearing up the courage to just slump back carefully into Niou, feeling the arms around him and the mouth at his neck. It was more comforting than sexual, but the pull was there, under the surface. And if he could admit the attraction to the other man...could he admit to something more? "I...I'm not a horrible liar." He pulled a grimace. He'd chickened out. Twisting around in Niou's arms, he gazed up at him, searching his eyes. "I think...maybe..." He fumbled over the words, unsure of what he was trying to say.
Niou opened his eyes when Shishido spun around to face him. He looked into the other man's eyes with a gentle smile, waiting to hear the brunette's answer to Niou's offer.
Placing a gentle hand on Shishido's face, Niou leaned in close, whispering against the other spy's lips. "Will you go out with me? Will you be my boyfriend?"
It would be so very easy to slide forward and meet those lips, to say yes...but the smaller spy couldn't seem to bring himself to just say it. "Is that really a good idea? I mean, we work together, or well, for the same agency and...I mean...I mean..." Damn, why was he so nervous? Everything in Niou's eyes said he was serious, and it shook Shishido down to his core. He bit his lower lip, chewing it worriedly. His arms were already moving around Niou, however, wrapping slowly around his neck. His body knew his answer before he even did.
"Hmph. Does working together really have anything to do with us dating?" He chuckled slightly, shaking his head softly. "You know...you're cute when you're nervous." He brushed a stray hair from Shishido's face and tucked it behind the brunette's ear before running his fingers gently down the other spy's jaw line to hold his chin bringing their lips together in a sweet and passionate kiss.
"Shut up, I'm not--" Niou's mouth silenced him, drawing him closer into the other spy's arms. His arms tightened around the younger man's neck, and as the kiss deepened, he moaned in his throat, finding it nearing impossible to deny wanting Niou for much longer.
When they finally came back up for air, he couldn't even remember that he'd been arguing. All he could do was flush faintly and stare at Niou with a bit of wonder. Guys mostly wanted to sleep with him, yeah...but date him? He'd never been asked that before. "You really want me to be your boyfriend?" He was starting to sound like a Jr. high schooler in some really clichéd shoujo anime, but he couldn't help asking. He'd kill Niou on the spot if this was some sort of fucked up joke.
Smiling at Shishido's reaction to the kiss, Niou nodded. "Yes." He kissed the other spy once again before repeating himself. "Yes. I want you to be my boyfriend."
There was a stretched out silent moment before Shishido's head slowly nodded. "Okay...okay. We'll try it. Yes." A funny little smile hovered over his lips, but the nervousness was still there. His fingers played covertly with Niou's loosened hair and he murmured, "I, uh...I've never really had a boyfriend before." It was embarrassing somewhat to admit, but it was true.
"Neither have I. So I guess that means you'd better tell me if I'm not doing something right, hm?" He chuckled as he kissed Shishido lovingly, strongly, passionately, feeling absolutely ecstatic about the fact that they were now dating. It was amusing really. He wasn't really sure what to do or how to do it but he figured he could always talk to someone and ask them if he managed to fuck up without noticing it. But he'd worry about all that later, right now...he was a happy man.
"Thought I already did that." Shishido had to smile as they broke away now, really smile. He had no idea how this was going to work out; how they were going to figure all the details... but for right now, in this moment, he didn't give a damn. Niou wanted him...wanted him...and it was a hell of a feeling.
"Don't go getting yourself in too much trouble, then. I hate having to throw out perfectly good books all the time", he teased, though he meant it deep down, and willingly moved up to catch Niou's lips in another breathless kiss, tugging on his hair.
After a minute or so, Niou pulled away slowly, a little reluctantly and smiled. "I think we should head back to either your place or mine but somewhere because there's people coming this direction from behind you and I don't think they need to be seeing us make-out here, even though I could care less if they see us but I figured it might bother you a little."
"Fuck." Shishido blushed, arms dropping from Niou's neck quickly as he ducked around him, reaching out to snag one of the other spy's hands. "Where do you live? Did they see us? How close are they? Forget it, we're going to my place. It's closer." He hauled Niou out of the park as fast as his new boyfriend would go.
Being dragged off, Niou simply laughed at Shishido's reaction to the sudden appearance of people in the park. "I live near the agency building. No they didn't see us. Not very...ok. Works better for me really. My place is still bugged so we'd be heard by others in the agency if we did anything." He quickly pulled himself along side his new boyfriend and followed quickly as the two of them made their way to Shishido's apartment.