“My sister has cancer…”
Hello Frank,
I’m a long-time fan of PostSecret and have sent in several postcards over the years.
The “my sister has cancer and I don’t want to talk to her about it” postcard is mine. Unfortunately, my sister has passed away. She fought until the very end. While I visited her repeatedly over the two years she was sick, we never did have a full conversation about her diagnosis aside from “how are you feeling today.” I could never find the courage to talk about it, fearing I would become too emotional. I hope she just wanted my company but it does make me incredibly sad that I won’t have that chance now. She was an incredible person.
I’m happy this postcard is now in your hands and hope it honours my sister and her life.
Thank you.
~~~
Dear J-
Your heartfelt postcard and email resonate deeply with me and I’m sure with others in our PostSecret community who have faced similar struggles with end-of-life caregiving and loss.
Your story reminds me of other similar experiences others have shared about the complexities of being present during the final stages of a loved one’s life. Some secrets reveal the deep regret of not being there at the moment of passing, such as leaving for a quick meal or stepping out for a call only to return to find them gone.
In response to these heartbreaking secrets, hospice workers have responded with their experiences and wisdom. They’ve found that some individuals nearing the end of life choose to wait until they’re alone to let go, either out of personal preference or to spare their loved ones further anguish.
You visited your sister repeatedly for two years and she didn’t bring up her condition either? Your sister’s choice not to discuss her condition might have been her way of focusing on life, on your relationship, on the moments you still had together. In honoring that unspoken agreement, you demonstrated a deep understanding and respect for her wishes.
Your secret is a gift to our community. It helps others feel less alone in their experiences and does indeed honour your sister - but not as much as the time you spent and the compassion you showed.
Take care.
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https://postsecret.com/2024/09/08/my-sister-has-cancer/
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