Rats in cages protecting their home turf.
I moved. I don't have a job. I need one.
I also need a bank account, but that's another story for.. well, not another time, 'cause I'm not going to tell you. It's just another story.
Anyway, in hopes of getting a job, here's my resume, in case you're looking to hire someone.
Postscripter (Name changed to protect the terribly naive)
[email address/phone number]
Professional experience
1)Retail
a.Played with a pink stuffed bunny rabbit while pretending to help people.
b.Did manager's paperwork because there was nothing else to do.
2)Mental Health Stuff
a.Slept.
b.Told people to go to bed.
3)Retail
a.Screwed around while pretending to work.
b.Pretended to know what I was doing.
4)Gift Shop
a.Played with a bird.
b.Played with bigger birds.
c.Played with lizards and a big, fat frog.
Education
1)Not enough.
Skills
1)Divot in my chest (Admittedly not a skill, but still pretty neat, or gross, depending on how you look at it).
2)Affinity for procrastination.
3)A remarkable ability to avoid work while making it look like I'm working very hard.
Yep, that's me, in a nutshell. Now, put me on your payroll and give me money!
I also need a bank account, but that's another story for.. well, not another time, 'cause I'm not going to tell you. It's just another story.
Anyway, in hopes of getting a job, here's my resume, in case you're looking to hire someone.
Postscripter (Name changed to protect the terribly naive)
[email address/phone number]
Professional experience
1)Retail
a.Played with a pink stuffed bunny rabbit while pretending to help people.
b.Did manager's paperwork because there was nothing else to do.
2)Mental Health Stuff
a.Slept.
b.Told people to go to bed.
3)Retail
a.Screwed around while pretending to work.
b.Pretended to know what I was doing.
4)Gift Shop
a.Played with a bird.
b.Played with bigger birds.
c.Played with lizards and a big, fat frog.
Education
1)Not enough.
Skills
1)Divot in my chest (Admittedly not a skill, but still pretty neat, or gross, depending on how you look at it).
2)Affinity for procrastination.
3)A remarkable ability to avoid work while making it look like I'm working very hard.
Yep, that's me, in a nutshell. Now, put me on your payroll and give me money!