take me back, 'cause i'm so in love with what we were...
so today was a fairly awesome day... it's been a week now... and i haven't killed myself, haven't killed him, haven't called him, haven't driven by his/her house; i have removed him from my speed dial on my phone, i have taken down several pictures that were prominently displayed in my bedroom of the two of us, i have started to replace some of the things i had on my walls (like our date wall thing from prom senior year) with other things (like a poster of the pope i bought this summer).
i bought a lot of stuff today. a brief summary:
*gifts (can't list what they are, as the people they are for read this ^_~)
*13 books, none of which i needed, but they were .99 and how the hell was i supposed to resist?
*a super cute BLUE hatbox for storage
*a black leather magazine butler for the apartment
*some Crane writing paper
*several sets of fairy notecards (you know, the small little blank folded cards for whatever? yeah)
*a shower head for the apartment
*the new backstreet boys CD
*some DVD-Rs for the special that I recorded on TLC about feral children for Dr. J
*a pack of Marlboro Ultra Lights and a lighter. weenie, i know, but i wanted it that way.
and about this last item, and the comments made to me: okay. last night, in my 16-odd hours of sleeping, i had a very long and extensive dream about smoking a cigarette. so tonight whilst at wal*mart, i gave in to temptation, and bought a box. i smoked one, and it just wasn't what i was looking for. i've smoked before, and i've never really enjoyed it, but for some reason, i just thought... oh i don't know, i just had this minor obsessive reoccurring thought that maybe this was something i needed to do, something that would work... but i didn't enjoy it this time either, it wasn't the escape i was looking for, and so i now have a mostly full carton of cigarettes and a very pretty $0.97 red lighter. not sure if i should keep it, or throw it away. i doubt i'll use the cigarettes, but i kinda just want to have them around to remind me that i didn't enjoy it, so that i won't feel this compulsion to buy more the next time i go insane and feel like i need an unhealthy, cancer-forming addiction. whee!
so. tomorrow's my last day at B&N in mactown til christmas... and when i come back in christmas, it's going to be so different, all my buddies'll be gone, but oh well.
monday, i think i'm going to maybe get my car washed (finally!), i have my 3-month follow-up eye dr appt, and i'll probably go by the hospital to visit mr. bob. oh! thanks for the positive thoughts/prayers/virgin sacrifices... he's in a regular room now, out of ICU, awake and givin' the nurses hell. so praises be for that.
tuesday, i'm leavin' at 8 am for the roma. woohoo!
oh yeah, and i have a date with david the hottie tomorrow... :\ we'll see what happens there.
ciao, loves.
i bought a lot of stuff today. a brief summary:
*gifts (can't list what they are, as the people they are for read this ^_~)
*13 books, none of which i needed, but they were .99 and how the hell was i supposed to resist?
*a super cute BLUE hatbox for storage
*a black leather magazine butler for the apartment
*some Crane writing paper
*several sets of fairy notecards (you know, the small little blank folded cards for whatever? yeah)
*a shower head for the apartment
*the new backstreet boys CD
*some DVD-Rs for the special that I recorded on TLC about feral children for Dr. J
*a pack of Marlboro Ultra Lights and a lighter. weenie, i know, but i wanted it that way.
and about this last item, and the comments made to me: okay. last night, in my 16-odd hours of sleeping, i had a very long and extensive dream about smoking a cigarette. so tonight whilst at wal*mart, i gave in to temptation, and bought a box. i smoked one, and it just wasn't what i was looking for. i've smoked before, and i've never really enjoyed it, but for some reason, i just thought... oh i don't know, i just had this minor obsessive reoccurring thought that maybe this was something i needed to do, something that would work... but i didn't enjoy it this time either, it wasn't the escape i was looking for, and so i now have a mostly full carton of cigarettes and a very pretty $0.97 red lighter. not sure if i should keep it, or throw it away. i doubt i'll use the cigarettes, but i kinda just want to have them around to remind me that i didn't enjoy it, so that i won't feel this compulsion to buy more the next time i go insane and feel like i need an unhealthy, cancer-forming addiction. whee!
so. tomorrow's my last day at B&N in mactown til christmas... and when i come back in christmas, it's going to be so different, all my buddies'll be gone, but oh well.
monday, i think i'm going to maybe get my car washed (finally!), i have my 3-month follow-up eye dr appt, and i'll probably go by the hospital to visit mr. bob. oh! thanks for the positive thoughts/prayers/virgin sacrifices... he's in a regular room now, out of ICU, awake and givin' the nurses hell. so praises be for that.
tuesday, i'm leavin' at 8 am for the roma. woohoo!
oh yeah, and i have a date with david the hottie tomorrow... :\ we'll see what happens there.
ciao, loves.