COCKTOBERFEST
Terms and Conditions for Hanging Out With Jeff During Cocktoberfest (as suggested by his legal team):
1. Jeff takes no responsibility for his actions past his 9th drink unless (a) it results in awesomeness (b) it makes for a great photo op or (c)
jorts are to be removed to the cheering masses.
2. Jeff can claim plausible deniability to anything he so chooses if he is wearing his aviators.
3. Jeff owns the right to say whatever he pleases as long as he laughs maniacally afterward.
4. Jeff will not be allowed to drive unless he can repeat back the names of every K-5 teacher he had and be able to do so while thrusting his hips in a sexual manner. (Note from legal team: This has never happened successfully.)
5. You must encourage Jeff to make grotesque facial expressions regardless of cameras being present.
6. You must either compliment or berate his outfit. No fence riding!
7. You must have the expectation that there is a correlation between the amount you drink and the amount you enjoy being seen with Jeff wearing a dragon shirt bought from Wal-Mart. Since this expectation has been set any separation from Jeff during this time can result in an Early Termination Fee of one (1) drink of Jeff's choosing up to and including Jager, lone star, Kaliber, and/or virgin blood.
8. Having read these Terms and Conditions binds you to a non-verbal agreement that is recognized by the Livejournal Tribunal Section 48: Meeting B as held June 23rd, 1999. Violation of said agreement results in buying Jeff two (2) drinks as noted in Term 7.
See you tonight. Maybe not tomorrow. Pics, too, in the NEER FUTARZ!
1. Jeff takes no responsibility for his actions past his 9th drink unless (a) it results in awesomeness (b) it makes for a great photo op or (c)
jorts are to be removed to the cheering masses.
2. Jeff can claim plausible deniability to anything he so chooses if he is wearing his aviators.
3. Jeff owns the right to say whatever he pleases as long as he laughs maniacally afterward.
4. Jeff will not be allowed to drive unless he can repeat back the names of every K-5 teacher he had and be able to do so while thrusting his hips in a sexual manner. (Note from legal team: This has never happened successfully.)
5. You must encourage Jeff to make grotesque facial expressions regardless of cameras being present.
6. You must either compliment or berate his outfit. No fence riding!
7. You must have the expectation that there is a correlation between the amount you drink and the amount you enjoy being seen with Jeff wearing a dragon shirt bought from Wal-Mart. Since this expectation has been set any separation from Jeff during this time can result in an Early Termination Fee of one (1) drink of Jeff's choosing up to and including Jager, lone star, Kaliber, and/or virgin blood.
8. Having read these Terms and Conditions binds you to a non-verbal agreement that is recognized by the Livejournal Tribunal Section 48: Meeting B as held June 23rd, 1999. Violation of said agreement results in buying Jeff two (2) drinks as noted in Term 7.
See you tonight. Maybe not tomorrow. Pics, too, in the NEER FUTARZ!