(Untitled)

[r3djust1c3]

WHO: r3djust1c3 and mythslayer in the first thread, ALL OTHER THREADS OPEN TO anyone who happens to be at the trollhouse.
WHAT: Shenanigans. All of them.
WHERE: The desert.
WHEN: Tonight!
WARNINGS: Profanity and anger, par for the course. Someone may or may not utter the words what the butt.
SUMMARY: It's Valentine's Day! And First Perigee Spawning. Guess

Comments

MOVIES

[hate_actually]

[TONIGHT WE WILL BE VIEWING: A lightly comic account of the romantic travails of a varied ensemble cast over the course of the approach to 12th Perigee's Eve, involving two flushed relationships, three pale, one ashen and three caliginous; in which class divides are crossed nonthreateningly; skeptics learn to admit affection; infidelity in various quadrants thwarted; unrequited feelings resolved peacefully after appropriate tension; minor characters satisfactorily culled; numerous characters interlinked in ways that could be considered ingenious; several examples of harmless pseudopolitical commentary; at least 20 humorous quotes; 7 attractive older actors popular with middle-aged females; 38 moments of heartwarming romantic affirmation etc. etc.]

[this is, for those unaware, the troll equivalent of Love Actually, more on which can be found here if you really want to familiarize yourselves with the depths of my failure. Karkat had his copy returned to him in his stocking at Christmas, and has finally succeeded in getting it to work with an Earth television]

[so YOU ARE ALL WATCHING IT WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT]

[currently he is messing with the controls for the TV. YOU HAD BETTER BE AMASSING, GUYS. THIS FILM IS REALLY GOOD (no it's not)]

[idkmybffrufio]

[drags himself into the living room in an inexplicably pathetically endearing fashion] Oh, uhh, hey, Karkat, what movie are you watching? [HOISTS himself up onto the couch, his robot parts making clanking noises as they knock together]

[hate_actually]

[Karkat hands Tavros the DVD case rather than actually read out the title as, apparently content with the state of the DVD player, he sits back on the couch]

[looks down at the robot legs]

... How did you even get over here?

[idkmybffrufio]

[Tavros gives him a bit of a blank stare] I, umm, dragged myself, with my arms.

[becomes completely engrossed in reading the DVD case]

[hate_actually]

[pulls his own, functional legs up onto the sofa, contemplating vaguely how uncomfortable that sounds. presumably Tavros is going to be reading that for a while, but he interjects, helpfully:] It's pretty fucking good, especially the part where Troll Colin Firth has to fight the rancoreels.

[idkmybffrufio]

[still squinting at the back of the DVD case]

[finally hands it back to Karkat]

Is this, umm, your favorite? Movie, I mean. Since I know you, uhh, really like a lot of those romance movies.

[hate_actually]

[takes it, with vaguely incriminating carefulness]

Well, it's pretty great, but it's kind of hard to pick favorites. This is just the only one I've actually got on this dumb planet, so it's not like I have an actual choice here.

[idkmybffrufio]

[scratches his head a little in thought] I don't know, I think, uhh, once you get out of the sun, it isn't so bad here, I mean, better than just, you know, hiding in the Veil...

[hate_actually]

You say that now because you haven't gotten dragged across the entire fucking continent by a bunch of delusional fuckwits painting their faces with each other's blood and nailing tents to walls.

[...grudgingly] But, yeah, it beats the Veil. I mean, we might actually get to stay alive now, as long as we don't just get sent back where we came from.

[seeingtwofold]

[Comes into the living room, sees what's happening, and smirks like an asshole.]

Oh, are we doing this now? Awesome. I am feeling festive as shit.

[Flops on couch.]

[hate_actually]

Fuck you, Captor, this movie is excellent and if you decide you're going to be a heckling smartass about it I am going to feed you your own bulge.

[seeingtwofold]

Wow KK, such an appealing offer given the season.

[Lolzors]

But seriously, if you're expecting to make it through this without anybody heckling it even a little bit you are kidding yourself.

[hate_actually]

I'm just saying, if you assholes wind up acting like heckling it is the entire point I'm going to seriously flip my shit, because I would like it if this could be taken just a little bit seriously.

[seeingtwofold]

Well if it's such a good movie there should be nothing to heckle, right?

[hate_actually]

[rolls his eyes] Yeah, maybe if you weren't all complete fucking phiglistines.

[seeingtwofold]

[Rolls his eyes right back - thought it's seriously hard to tell since he has no pupils]

If we're such philistines, then why are you even bothering getting us to watch it?