recommendations
mixtape for skidding wildly out of control on an ice patch while driving a Budget rental car, crashing into somebody's living room:
nancy sinatra, some velvet morning
panda bear, take pills
of montreal, suffer for fashion
the decemberists, here i dreamt i was an architect
mates of state, a duel will settle this
kate bush, wuthering heights
gogol bordello, not a crime
the fiery furnaces, police sweater blood vow
yo la tengo, let's burn tony orlando's house
14 iced bears, come get me
stars, your ex-lover is dead
camera obscura, i don't do crowds
pedro the lion, bad things to such good people
american football, i'll see you when we're both not so emotional
elvis costello, i want to vanish
uses for Arm & Hammer baking soda:
use with water in hair at shower-time to strip excess product buildup
in a sachet of cheesecloth overnight in the toe of athletic shoes to mute any offensive odors
sprinkling on a little white lie to make it that much more believable
leave it sitting in the refrigerator to cover up the stench of what you decided to take home from outback steakhouse last weekend and just kind of forgot about
place entire box in the middle of an empty field at midnight during a full moon and wish really hard for like ten minutes or so to make a magical unicorn appear
a tiny amount in a pitcher of iced tea to clear its cloudy appearance and contribute to a lighter, fresher taste
throw cloud in assailant's face and amidst the confusion that ensues, run away
baking
ways to kill someone:
silently
make it look like an accident
release the cougars!
or maybe hire a professional
know someone who owns a hog farm who isn't much for asking questions
but if you have to dispose of the body some other way (burying, throwing in the river) be sure to pierce all the way through with an ice pick or something like it; the gasses make the corpse bloat during decomposition to where the earth above the body can rise, or they can make it float in the river of course
there's no turning back after this, you know
are you sure?
Hostess fruit pie fillings:
cherry
blueberry
chocolate
nancy sinatra, some velvet morning
panda bear, take pills
of montreal, suffer for fashion
the decemberists, here i dreamt i was an architect
mates of state, a duel will settle this
kate bush, wuthering heights
gogol bordello, not a crime
the fiery furnaces, police sweater blood vow
yo la tengo, let's burn tony orlando's house
14 iced bears, come get me
stars, your ex-lover is dead
camera obscura, i don't do crowds
pedro the lion, bad things to such good people
american football, i'll see you when we're both not so emotional
elvis costello, i want to vanish
uses for Arm & Hammer baking soda:
use with water in hair at shower-time to strip excess product buildup
in a sachet of cheesecloth overnight in the toe of athletic shoes to mute any offensive odors
sprinkling on a little white lie to make it that much more believable
leave it sitting in the refrigerator to cover up the stench of what you decided to take home from outback steakhouse last weekend and just kind of forgot about
place entire box in the middle of an empty field at midnight during a full moon and wish really hard for like ten minutes or so to make a magical unicorn appear
a tiny amount in a pitcher of iced tea to clear its cloudy appearance and contribute to a lighter, fresher taste
throw cloud in assailant's face and amidst the confusion that ensues, run away
baking
ways to kill someone:
silently
make it look like an accident
release the cougars!
or maybe hire a professional
know someone who owns a hog farm who isn't much for asking questions
but if you have to dispose of the body some other way (burying, throwing in the river) be sure to pierce all the way through with an ice pick or something like it; the gasses make the corpse bloat during decomposition to where the earth above the body can rise, or they can make it float in the river of course
there's no turning back after this, you know
are you sure?
Hostess fruit pie fillings:
cherry
blueberry
chocolate