YEAH BABY I WAIT TABLES BABY
HEY
HEY YOU
You know how I was training to be a waitress last week? Well, today was the real thing - my first time waiting my own tables. My prior job experience is being a barista, and choking on my own sleepdrool while boxes sometimes crawl out of conveyor belts but most often not. I have never been a server before, so I thought they would go easy on me at first. Like, give me two or three tables during the lunch rush since we have a lot of other servers then. Maybe four if they had an inordinate amount of faith in me.
No. They gave me SIX.
SIX MOTHERFUCKIN TABLES DURING MOTHERFUCKIN LUNCH RUSH, WHILE I FUMBLE WITH MY LITTLE BOOK AND TRY TO REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS THOSE THREE OLD DUDES RATTLED OFF AT ME AT NINETY MILES AN HOUR, AND WHY DO WE HAVE TEN OMELETTES THAT ALL SOUND THE SAME, AND DID THE FOOD COME OUT YET, AND WAIT WHOSE FOOD AM I EVEN TALKING ABOUT, OH SHIT I FORGOT TO SEND SIXTEEN'S ORDER TO THE KITCHEN, OH SHIT THOSE BUSINESSSUITED GENTELYMANS HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THEIR CHECK, OH MOTHERFUCKER, I FORGOT TO ASK FLOWERED SHIRT IF SHE WANTED WHEAT OR RYE, OH MY FUCKING LORD!!!
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? IT WAS FUN. NO SARCASM. I SAY THE WORD "FUN" WITH AN OSTENTATIOUS AMOUNT OF SINCERITY, BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THIS JOB IS CRAPPIER THAN CRAP, I FUCKING OWNED ITS ASS THIS MORNING. I AM A MAGNIFICENT LION, AND I TOOK WHAT WAS MINE, AND BY "WHAT IS MINE" I MEAN THE TIPS, AND BY "TIPS" I MEAN MONEY, AND I AM PLANNING ON HAVING A LOT OF THAT STUFF PRETTY MUCH POURING THE FUCK IN. I MEAN, YEAH, I AM A RIDICULOUSLY AWKWARD AND SHY PERSON, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO CUSTOMER SERVICE, I CAN FUCKING DO IT. THE BRO CARD? YEAH, I CAN FUCKING PLAY IT. THE HO CARD? YEAH, BABY, I KNOW ABOUT THOSE MIDDLE-AGED LADIES AND THEIR LUNCH DATES. THE FLIRT CARD? SHOW ME THOSE OLD GUYS, AND BABY, I WILL COME SCAMPERING OUT OF THE KITCHEN WITHOUT PANTS ON.
SO IT WAS GOOD.
I hope you guys are good. I went to Lowe's yesterday and bought a ginormous sheaf of MDF board, and gessoed one, and now my room smells like a delicious chemical forest of artisticness and creativitation. So fuck yes I am going to paint it today. It's the same size as my final portrait was, and I got an idea to make a few more so they all have an overarching theme, but I'm not sure if it's going to work. IDK. I WILL PUT PAINT ON THINGS AND ROCK OUT WITH MY EAR-ENGULFING HEADPHONES.
ANYWAY, I HOPE YOU GUYS ARE GOOD. SORRY ABOUT ALL THE SHOUTING.
HEY YOU
You know how I was training to be a waitress last week? Well, today was the real thing - my first time waiting my own tables. My prior job experience is being a barista, and choking on my own sleepdrool while boxes sometimes crawl out of conveyor belts but most often not. I have never been a server before, so I thought they would go easy on me at first. Like, give me two or three tables during the lunch rush since we have a lot of other servers then. Maybe four if they had an inordinate amount of faith in me.
No. They gave me SIX.
SIX MOTHERFUCKIN TABLES DURING MOTHERFUCKIN LUNCH RUSH, WHILE I FUMBLE WITH MY LITTLE BOOK AND TRY TO REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS THOSE THREE OLD DUDES RATTLED OFF AT ME AT NINETY MILES AN HOUR, AND WHY DO WE HAVE TEN OMELETTES THAT ALL SOUND THE SAME, AND DID THE FOOD COME OUT YET, AND WAIT WHOSE FOOD AM I EVEN TALKING ABOUT, OH SHIT I FORGOT TO SEND SIXTEEN'S ORDER TO THE KITCHEN, OH SHIT THOSE BUSINESSSUITED GENTELYMANS HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THEIR CHECK, OH MOTHERFUCKER, I FORGOT TO ASK FLOWERED SHIRT IF SHE WANTED WHEAT OR RYE, OH MY FUCKING LORD!!!
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? IT WAS FUN. NO SARCASM. I SAY THE WORD "FUN" WITH AN OSTENTATIOUS AMOUNT OF SINCERITY, BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THIS JOB IS CRAPPIER THAN CRAP, I FUCKING OWNED ITS ASS THIS MORNING. I AM A MAGNIFICENT LION, AND I TOOK WHAT WAS MINE, AND BY "WHAT IS MINE" I MEAN THE TIPS, AND BY "TIPS" I MEAN MONEY, AND I AM PLANNING ON HAVING A LOT OF THAT STUFF PRETTY MUCH POURING THE FUCK IN. I MEAN, YEAH, I AM A RIDICULOUSLY AWKWARD AND SHY PERSON, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO CUSTOMER SERVICE, I CAN FUCKING DO IT. THE BRO CARD? YEAH, I CAN FUCKING PLAY IT. THE HO CARD? YEAH, BABY, I KNOW ABOUT THOSE MIDDLE-AGED LADIES AND THEIR LUNCH DATES. THE FLIRT CARD? SHOW ME THOSE OLD GUYS, AND BABY, I WILL COME SCAMPERING OUT OF THE KITCHEN WITHOUT PANTS ON.
SO IT WAS GOOD.
I hope you guys are good. I went to Lowe's yesterday and bought a ginormous sheaf of MDF board, and gessoed one, and now my room smells like a delicious chemical forest of artisticness and creativitation. So fuck yes I am going to paint it today. It's the same size as my final portrait was, and I got an idea to make a few more so they all have an overarching theme, but I'm not sure if it's going to work. IDK. I WILL PUT PAINT ON THINGS AND ROCK OUT WITH MY EAR-ENGULFING HEADPHONES.
ANYWAY, I HOPE YOU GUYS ARE GOOD. SORRY ABOUT ALL THE SHOUTING.