RP: Wake Up, Open the Door, and Escape to the Sea

[pb_sam]

Characters: Sam Kennerly, Seamus Finnigan, Cho Weasley
Location: The Junk Shop --- Diagon Alley
Date: July 28, 2000
Status/Warning: Closed/Angst like WOAH
Summary: Sam finally learns the truth and runs into the worst possible person.
Completion: Incomplete

Comments

[pb_sam]

Sam ran for longer than he had breath for--long enough to summon again that strange drowning sensation. By the time the doors of the Leaky Couldron slammed open if felt like there were raw cracks in his lungs where the air seeped out before he could fill them again properly.

Acid bubbled up in is throat just as he had enough sense to get into bathroom. With each burning heave, Sam remembered something--beginning with right before that storm broke on the North Sea, how the botswain complained about how it was always bad that time of year. Next Sam saw himself talking nervously to the second mate over a game of cards--his stomach doing now what it wanted to do then. And then things he's thought he'd forgotten.

Sam had gone out on deck that night--he'd had to, after the second mate didn't come back. He remembered bracing himself against the wind and chilling rain; inching like a baby taking first steps across the reeling deck. There were odd shapes all around him, and something, something moving... and then he'd slipped because he's stepped on something soft and slick. For a moment Sam remembered his fear as he thought he'd pitch overboard, but he clung to a line, one of the few that hadn't snapped. The next flash of lightning had offered Sam one look at what he'd slipped on and who it belonged to before he scrabbled, mad with fear back to the cabin to barricade himself in the sleeping quarters until daybreak.

With one final, gurgling heave, Sam was spitting nothing but thick mucus. He's quite literally thrown up every last bit of breakfast and lunch. But he wasn't weak or shaking anymore. A strange, new feeling was welling up inside of him...and with nothing in his stomach to impeede it, it culd finally be let loose.

"Haha...hahaha...haha-HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

[pb_seamus]

The customer hadn't been happy about Sam running off; it had made him more skittish than ever, and in the end he'd bought four silver pieces. While Seamus could not deny that this was a brilliant scheme on Sam's part, the fact that the boy didn't come back afterward took away from the effect. He waited for him for what felt like forever -- but was really half an hour or so -- and after it grew boring watching the clock skitter under various draperies and furniture, he decided to take his break. It was sad to think that he'd waste it going after Sam (sometimes the boy was plain odd, and that was clear) but he did like the company, and they'd gotten along, and in a small way he was worried about how frightened his friend had looked running away.

Was it something I said? Seamus had some difficulty remembering exactly what he'd told the customer, and thus had little to no idea what could have triggered such a reaction in Sam. Unless -- well, unless it really had been a ploy to sell and the lad was waiting for him to go on break. Something nice like that.

This was what Seamus chose to believe while approaching the Leaky, where he was sure he'd find the runaway -- there was nowhere else Sam had to go, really -- and all the way up the stairs as well. He grinned crookedly at the sight of the door, and had just opened his mouth to call out when he heard the laughter.

Which was ... Well, strange.

Strange.

Lucky Seamus knew all about strange; he had little to no fear of other wizards men, because men were the least strange of all. Even when they laughed like bleeding lunatics. He paused for a moment, wondering what in the world had happened while he'd waited, and turned the knob without knocking; he figured, after all, that someone laughing like that wouldn't really care if he didn't.

"What the feck, Sam."

[pb_sam]

Sam had moved, stumbled more like it, out of the bathroom and into the main room. He barely saw Sea when he entered and certainly couldn't hear him over the sound of his own--heart break? madness? Surely he was mad, Sam thought.

He laughed harder and reached around his bed for a hidden sketchbook, the one almost completely dedicated to Fenrir. He held it reverently for a moment, not opening it but running fingers over the cloth cover as if trying to remove something only he could see.

Blood. There was blood everywhere. When he looked up again, Sea was bleeding too--Sam's hands were covered with it, and he reflexively wiped them over his face, dropping the sketch book so it fell open.

[pb_seamus]

"What the feck," Sea repeated, firmer this time; he wanted to ask Sam if he were kidding around, anything like that, but he'd seen people act this way before. A part of him knew that there had to be something very wrong with his friend, but it was hard to believe when less than an hour earlier they'd laughed together and almost had fun with the Junk Shop in that way they always did.

For a moment he simply looked at Sam, blinking, but then the boy started... pawing, pawing at everything, and his wierd book fell open, and in the same time it took for him to notice the drawing Sea -- being himself -- made a grab for the sketchbook.

"What're you doing, Sam? This en't funny!"

[pb_sam]

"My--my best work!" Sam blustered, finally knowing that he needed to say something to Seamus and it was the first thing that came to mind.

It was also true. The sketch the book fell open to was the one Roarke had bullied him about--he'd taped it to a blank page for sake-keeping. Watching Sea flip through in what was either, confusion, rage or terror gave Sam time to catch his breath. He was still filled with a kind of giddy energy, though the kind that felt like static all over his nerves. "I really didn't know." The repetition had become an explanation, although something that sounded suspiciously like Emma said, buried in the back of his mind-- 'You're better than this, Sam!'

"I don't think I cared, either."

[pb_seamus]

Seamus eyes grew wide. He stammered for a moment -- uncommon, but then 'stammering' was really only mumbled variants of feck and merlin -- and then it was too much to continue looking through the book, because he was remembering how Sam had sketched Hannah as well. For the first time in a long while Finnigan did not know what to say. He wasn't frightened really, only confused and oddly detached, as if somehow this were any other day he bothered visiting.

"You don't know nothin', no," Sea finally said. What sort of person sketched... Fenrir? Though he hadn't wanted to accept that that was what he was seeing, Sea had seen the beast in person. He had. And he wasn't angry, not really -- merely incredulous that Sam of all people would have the nerve.

He cleared his throat. "I mean -- feck me, Sam. Feck. Me. This ain't cute, it's not. And it ain't art either. Just be glad it's me what looked through, boy; know a few o' me friends what'd clatter you in the jaw for puttin' so much to paper. You might not care, but the world sure feckin' does."

He closed the cover of the sketchbook, looking simultaneously grave and exhilarated. "Now just you -- you don't go showin' this round, Sam. I dunno what's gotten into you, but I know you ain't this."

[pb_sam]

Calm now, Sam listened to Seamus with sort of blank wonder. Was it really such a big deal what the world thought? Time had distanced Sam from just how difficult and laborious a process it was for him to walk away from his old world. The muggle world.

Just what is a muggle, anyway?

And that's when it hit him again, the second wave of emotion for which the laughter had been nothing but the pulling of water away from shore. Those few breathless moments before the tsunami hit. Sam let out a horrible cry and hurdled himself at Seamus, hugging him tighter than he thought he had the strength for.

"So sc-scared!" Seamus didn't need to know why, he would probably assume it was flashblacks to whatever hell Fenrir had caused...and it was easier to be weak when he was lying as well.

[pb_seamus]

Seamus was taken aback by the embrace -- it wasn't every day a bloke threw himself at you, and while usually he might laugh and wrestle Sam away goodnaturedly, today... Today he let the boy, and even held him with something like concern. It was awkward, and nearly wooden -- especially when he got to patting Sam roughly on the back -- but of course Sea had nothing to live down when no one would ever know. Except maybe Hannah. He was sure Hannah'd have an earful about today, next time he saw her; but then, another part of him was equally sure he wouldn't know what to say about it for a long time, apart from you don't know nothin'.

It was sort of silly, honestly; it was a scene from a terrible movie. Seamus found himself grinning crookedly into the fuzz of Sam's hair. "You're scared, are you? I can tell you all sorts about that."

He hadn't really been scared while the Carrows were at Hogwarts, to be honest -- not even during the battle where he'd seen Sam's celebrity. But he'd been scared of other things, of course. He didn't know what it was like to laugh the way Sam did, but he was one for laughter.

"It ain't nothin', lad."

[pb_sam]

"Thought I was gonna d-d-die!" Sam managed...but Sea's voice was uncommonly gentle, not in the joking way he was used to, but in way that made Sam want to take deep, calming breaths before he really did pass out. His body was reeling from everything it had already been through.

"But I'm a coward. I couldn't just go and get killed like...like everyone else." Sam pushed away when he trusted his legs enough to get him to the bed, where he sagged, sniffing loudly. "Can't even die when I'm supposed to, I'm that useless."

[pb_seamus]

"You ain't s'posed to die if you ain't dead yet," said Seamus sagely. "If it was gonna happen, it would've. That's what me da says, yeah?"

He had no idea what Sam was talking about, but he imagined that Sam might not either. He watched his friend carefully, brushing long hair from his eyes, and managed an almost callous grin. "'Sides. Life ain't fun if you don't think you're gonna die once in a while, stick your neck out.. Merlin knows I saw life flashin' by and all that more'n once, can tell you that."

There was a gift Sea had, after the year with the Carrows; he'd been a rebel even from the beginning, but he'd also been the one behind the scenes, attempting to make others laugh, distracting them. He'd been good at it, but he'd never figured out if it was because they were desperate or because he was something that was his.

"You ain't no coward, Sam. Hey -- remember that rat bastard mirror we got in? You're the one what put it in its place. Shite, man. Bet you're ten times the fighter when you stop stammerin'. That ain't feckin' useless."

[pb_sam]

At first Sam listened only dismissivly, his mind pouring over everything, settling with a sort of puzzle like snap into numb shock. When he was certain he wouldn't give anything away about what he'd really been talking about, he nodded.

"I guess." Truthfully the most Sam had managed was standing up to bullies, and it was obvious Sea and seen far worse. Then, as something occured to him, he looked up at Sea with the smallest hint of a smile. "I guess so." He said again, mulling the new thought over.

The thing was, Sam Kennerley was free. He didn't have to use a false name or lie to everyone he met. With Fenrir gone, he had no reason for anything. Nothing at all. He scrubbed at his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Sea. I was just doing my best to avoid the news and when you brought it up...I've just been trying to forget." Not really true, but not really false either.

[pb_seamus]

Seamus was relieved -- more than relieved, even -- to hear Sam sounding... Well... Coherent again. He was suddenly very proud of himself for helping the boy along; for that Sam was treated to unabashed beaming.

"Don't you worry 'bout a thing, McKinnon. I got you. I been around before, I got you."

He rubbed at his eyes for a moment -- not because they were watering! He wasn't a woman -- and absentmindedly thumbed at the line of his crooked nose. "Forget while you can, I s'pose."

[pb_sam]

Sam nodded gratefully. He couldn't quite bring himself to smile yet--it would take some time to work out these new circumstances; the bizarre but elative sense of freedom and the accompanying vast emptiness like standing on the edge of a cliff. The world was wide open to him now, both worlds.

"Thanks, Sea. Think we should get back, or did you want a drink first?" The world was wide open, after all, and it was about time he really experienced a few things.

[pb_seamus]

"Drink!" blared Sea, relieved. "Jaysus, do I need a drink."