RP: Evil
Character(s): Cho Weasley.
Location: The flat.
Date: 31st of May, 2000
Status/Warning: Closed.
Summary: Thinking about love.
Completion: Complete.
31 may / sunny (!)
Why do people always want to die for love?
Are they really so arrogant to believe that it's a worthy cause?
A worthier cause than to die for the probability of success?
Everyone thinks that their love is perfect.
Why doesn't anyone acknowledge that there's nothing to it besides the fact that it's love?
I think it must be difficult to try and make it something more important than it already is.
Maybe that's why people leave one another after going through so much -- it's too hard to live up to what they think they've created.
Who do these people think they are? They're so different from me. I don't claim to know what real love is anymore; in fact, the only time I thought I had an idea was a time I'd never been in love at all.
Truth is invisible: like a soul, or fate, or a real sense of propriety. You can't touch it.
Anyway.
Thinking of it now, I place importance on Percy because it happened that way. I don't do it because it's how I think love should be, or because we're already together and it seems as if that's how it should be. Ideally. I did it by accident. I have a life with him now because that's the way it grew on its own -- not anything I controlled, which... Well, does it make it more valid than if I were presumptuous enough to choose this path on my own?
We didn't plan anything. We didn't tell eachother that we would be together like this, one day -- or that this was ever something we'd want. I didn't presume that being in love with Percy meant I'd be his wife eventually, or even that that was something I wanted. That was a title that came of its own accord. In fact... I didn't realise it was what I'd been hoping for until it looked me in the eye. We didn't plan his proposal. We didn't plan the course of our lives. I still don't know where we'll be in six months; this time next year, it all may have evolved even further. Who am I to decide? Who is he? Neither of us can control the future, even if sometimes he can read it like a book. I think that if we tried, we would tear ourselves apart.
Saying it doesn't make it so. How difficult was that lesson? But ...
Sometimes I wish I knew one thing for sure -- that I could ask one question of the universe and have it answered with finality. Truth. But then there's only one thing I REALLY know about love now, or at least only one thing I can tell myself with real certainty.
I love Percy enough. Anything can happen -- I won't mind -- as long as we keep the promises we made on the beach. I don't know why things happen the way they do. I don't understand the patterns in my life. I'm not ready to admit a lot of things. But with almost anything I strive for perfection: the only means of telling that what you're doing is correct.
I learned a long time ago that evil isn't perfect. But love is neither here or there, you know. It won't ever be perfect in a way I understand. It won't ever be good in a way I can gauge.
And if it's evil, it will kill me.
I'm ready.
Location: The flat.
Date: 31st of May, 2000
Status/Warning: Closed.
Summary: Thinking about love.
Completion: Complete.
31 may / sunny (!)
Why do people always want to die for love?
Are they really so arrogant to believe that it's a worthy cause?
A worthier cause than to die for the probability of success?
Everyone thinks that their love is perfect.
Why doesn't anyone acknowledge that there's nothing to it besides the fact that it's love?
I think it must be difficult to try and make it something more important than it already is.
Maybe that's why people leave one another after going through so much -- it's too hard to live up to what they think they've created.
Who do these people think they are? They're so different from me. I don't claim to know what real love is anymore; in fact, the only time I thought I had an idea was a time I'd never been in love at all.
Truth is invisible: like a soul, or fate, or a real sense of propriety. You can't touch it.
Anyway.
Thinking of it now, I place importance on Percy because it happened that way. I don't do it because it's how I think love should be, or because we're already together and it seems as if that's how it should be. Ideally. I did it by accident. I have a life with him now because that's the way it grew on its own -- not anything I controlled, which... Well, does it make it more valid than if I were presumptuous enough to choose this path on my own?
We didn't plan anything. We didn't tell eachother that we would be together like this, one day -- or that this was ever something we'd want. I didn't presume that being in love with Percy meant I'd be his wife eventually, or even that that was something I wanted. That was a title that came of its own accord. In fact... I didn't realise it was what I'd been hoping for until it looked me in the eye. We didn't plan his proposal. We didn't plan the course of our lives. I still don't know where we'll be in six months; this time next year, it all may have evolved even further. Who am I to decide? Who is he? Neither of us can control the future, even if sometimes he can read it like a book. I think that if we tried, we would tear ourselves apart.
Saying it doesn't make it so. How difficult was that lesson? But ...
Sometimes I wish I knew one thing for sure -- that I could ask one question of the universe and have it answered with finality. Truth. But then there's only one thing I REALLY know about love now, or at least only one thing I can tell myself with real certainty.
I love Percy enough. Anything can happen -- I won't mind -- as long as we keep the promises we made on the beach. I don't know why things happen the way they do. I don't understand the patterns in my life. I'm not ready to admit a lot of things. But with almost anything I strive for perfection: the only means of telling that what you're doing is correct.
I learned a long time ago that evil isn't perfect. But love is neither here or there, you know. It won't ever be perfect in a way I understand. It won't ever be good in a way I can gauge.
And if it's evil, it will kill me.
I'm ready.