OWL: Charlie

[pb_bill]

Characters: Bill Weasley, Charlie Weasley
Location: Respective residences
Date: 11 January 2000
Status: Private
Summary: What's shakin', lil bro?
Completion: Complete.

Comments

[pb_charlie]

Billiam,

William. Praticus. Weasley.

That's right, I replaced Dad's name with a middle name more fitting for you. What I have been doing is working. You know that thing that those of us not gallivanting about the Mediterranean with part-veela vixens do to earn a galleon or two?

And you know perfectly well, I am not the overprotective brother who stops the younger ones from doing idiotic shite. I'm the cool brother that encourages them to take care of themselves and use their brains when attempting idiotic shite. Of course Mum was having kittens, ask Percy, George and Ron for the details. I was locked up on the Reserve through most of it, dealing with poachers and our own shite.

Harry and Athena got Fenrir Greyback. I know ma belle soeur will be disappointed. Your wife's a little blood thirsty, Billy-boy. I bet she's glad to be back in her cottage. Speaking of which, you only asked me to check in once in awhile to make sure the wards held. You said nothing about turning me into your house elf to keep the cobwebs away

[pb_bill]

Charlie old chap,
Far more handsome brother? Merlin, this is the problem with living in foreign climes. No one told me I should have come home months ago. I could have cared for you after what had to have been a horrible, grievous, and life-threatening head injury. Never fear, we'll get that memory of yours fixed up in no time.

Count yourself lucky that my bloodthirsty wife is not currently in residence, wanker. (Count yourself terribly unlucky you haven't your own bloodthirsty wife. Ooh la la, as her people would say.) She'd Have Words With You over the state of the place. Fortunately, there's a right handy ocean just there into which I may sweep all the dust and spiders. They can swim, right? Should be able to, got all those legs.

Heard about Greyback. Good. Sodding fantastic, actually. I'll stand Harry a round next time I see him. Stand Athena one as well. Not surprised she was in on it, girl's a force like her Mum. I've seen pyramids with less strength.

Pints? More like barrels. You try finding a decent lager

[pb_charlie]

Dear Elderly Brother,

My memory is just fine. It's yours which is showing signs of diminished capacity in your old age.

You disengaged your cock lips from Fleur? How the bloody hell did that happen? I reckoned she had that collar and lead permanently welded to you. About that bloodthirsty wife bit, we need to chat. I think I've gone completely mental and started the development phase of a long-term plan.

If I was in Marseille, I'd be looking at the topless beauties on the beach and seeing how they fall short of Attie's outstanding set, not the inside of a pub. You are thoroughly whipped, my man. Thoroughly. I'm saving my coins, you miser, I gots plans for those galleons that don't include you. You'll just have to pony up for your own share. Your old age dementia is showing, oh ancient one. I asked what time and where on Tuesday. Loosen Fleur's choke chain and let some blood back into your brain, Billiam.

The best younger brother an old man could hope for,
Charlie

P.S. In case you've already forgot: When and where on Tuesday?

[pb_bill]

Little brother,
She's finishing up the last dribs and drabs of our assignment. Thought I'd saunter over while I had some free time and make sure the house looked good so I didn't have to get any of those LOOKS, you wouldn't think she's only part-Veela in that case.

Whipped, bitten, and ridden, and haven't been sorry once. Jealous? Should be.

Your observational skills have clearly disappeared along with your ability to judge attractiveness - you asked lunch or pints and I answered pints. Tsk, tsk, tsk. You'll get stepped on by a dragon if you keep this up.

You never know, I might start taking applications for a better younger brother. I've four three to choose from, you know.
Bill

PS. Broomsticks? I've a hankering to see Rosie.