I haven't been on here in a LONG time...you'll get over it.
SO, here's the rundown on my life since my last dismal update:
~Now attending (and borderline failing out of) WJU.
~Joined the choir at WJU.
~Quit the choir at WJU after it was confirmed that NO, I'm NOT good enough.
~STILL have no fucking clue what I'm supposed to do with the rest of my miserable existence on this earth, and evaluating whether or not I even have a place in it.
~Started slicing myself open again. The scars are pretty gnarly. But no one even notices, even though I wear short sleeves and whatnot all the time, so it's okay.
~Thinking about getting another lip ring. I'm on the fence about it.
~Trying to figure out whether or not they REALLY don't notice, or if they've just given up on me. Either way, at least I don't have to talk about it.
~Single again. Hating it. Relationship ended on less-than-favorable terms, I'm bitter as hell about it, and it sucks.
~My sister is FINALLY moving out. It's about damn time. When she leaves, I want to burn her room down. (I don't care if it's impossible)
~My brother is being less of a douchebag. It's nice. I'm starting to think he might have a soul.
~My relationship with my extended family (namely uncle John, cousins Ben, Greg, and Stefan, and others in similar categories) has gotten REALLY kick-ass. Have they ALWAYS been this awesome? If so, WHY did I not see it?!
~I hate my mother more than ever. Yesterday, as she went into work, I wanted her not to come back.
~Friend moved to Idaho. It sucked.
~Friend moved back from Idaho. I rejoiced.
~The one friend I counted on always being there is no longer there.
~But they've been replaced, so it's okay.
~Been seriously neglecting my guitar.
~HATE myself for seriously neglecting my guitar.
~Actually lost quite a bit of weight.
~Except in the boob and ass regions. (WHY?!)
~Puppy almost got put down due to an unfortunate misunderstanding and a run-in with an anemic rat.
~Crisis averted. Abby is alive and kickin' (ass).
~I'm on a mission to lose my virginity. Not to just anyone, but I DO want to lose it.
~Considering learning to pole-dance. (yes, I'm serious. And actually, believe it or not, it has NOTHING to do with the previous statement.)
~Trying to like myself more.
~FAILING at it.
~Trying to save up munny for cosplay items.
~FAILING at it.
~Also trying to save up for a tattoo.
~FAILING at it.
~Loving my friends. Missing my friends. Wanting more than anything to have them with me.
~Scared about actually growing the fuck up. Responsibility isn't for me. Thinking of checking myself into a crazy house or just downright blowing my brains out just to avoid life.
~Sort-of-almost crushing on a girl I met on Tagged. She lives in Montana. She's Visual/EroGuro-Kei, too. She's beautiful, and understands me. I like her a lot. I want to kiss her. And then I realize: SHE'S IN MONTANA
~Realizing that not EVERYONE is out to get me.
~But a lot of people still are.
~Realizing that I love too much, and am therefore, an easy target.
~Trying to stop loving.
~FAILING at it.
~DYING to start a band. I have a band name, a CD title, several song names, several songs actually written, a band logo, a website name, and a tour schedule. I have everything I need for a band. Except the actual BAND. I don't know of anyone who would be willing to be in a band with me. At least, not anyone who can actually play any kind of instrument.
~The ONE thought that gets me through the day: 'if you die now, your family will just sell your possessions and not even care enough to give you a real funeral.'
~Holding on until I can find someone who would actually give me a real funeral.
~More pessimistic than ever. I think it's partially because I realize that everything around me is changing, and it wants me to change, too.
~I'd rather hump the underside of a running lawnmower than change.
SO, as you can see, I've been quite busy.....sort of.
I might update later, if I can ever find anything to say.
Peace out
~~Izvritelj~~
~Now attending (and borderline failing out of) WJU.
~Joined the choir at WJU.
~Quit the choir at WJU after it was confirmed that NO, I'm NOT good enough.
~STILL have no fucking clue what I'm supposed to do with the rest of my miserable existence on this earth, and evaluating whether or not I even have a place in it.
~Started slicing myself open again. The scars are pretty gnarly. But no one even notices, even though I wear short sleeves and whatnot all the time, so it's okay.
~Thinking about getting another lip ring. I'm on the fence about it.
~Trying to figure out whether or not they REALLY don't notice, or if they've just given up on me. Either way, at least I don't have to talk about it.
~Single again. Hating it. Relationship ended on less-than-favorable terms, I'm bitter as hell about it, and it sucks.
~My sister is FINALLY moving out. It's about damn time. When she leaves, I want to burn her room down. (I don't care if it's impossible)
~My brother is being less of a douchebag. It's nice. I'm starting to think he might have a soul.
~My relationship with my extended family (namely uncle John, cousins Ben, Greg, and Stefan, and others in similar categories) has gotten REALLY kick-ass. Have they ALWAYS been this awesome? If so, WHY did I not see it?!
~I hate my mother more than ever. Yesterday, as she went into work, I wanted her not to come back.
~Friend moved to Idaho. It sucked.
~Friend moved back from Idaho. I rejoiced.
~The one friend I counted on always being there is no longer there.
~But they've been replaced, so it's okay.
~Been seriously neglecting my guitar.
~HATE myself for seriously neglecting my guitar.
~Actually lost quite a bit of weight.
~Except in the boob and ass regions. (WHY?!)
~Puppy almost got put down due to an unfortunate misunderstanding and a run-in with an anemic rat.
~Crisis averted. Abby is alive and kickin' (ass).
~I'm on a mission to lose my virginity. Not to just anyone, but I DO want to lose it.
~Considering learning to pole-dance. (yes, I'm serious. And actually, believe it or not, it has NOTHING to do with the previous statement.)
~Trying to like myself more.
~FAILING at it.
~Trying to save up munny for cosplay items.
~FAILING at it.
~Also trying to save up for a tattoo.
~FAILING at it.
~Loving my friends. Missing my friends. Wanting more than anything to have them with me.
~Scared about actually growing the fuck up. Responsibility isn't for me. Thinking of checking myself into a crazy house or just downright blowing my brains out just to avoid life.
~Sort-of-almost crushing on a girl I met on Tagged. She lives in Montana. She's Visual/EroGuro-Kei, too. She's beautiful, and understands me. I like her a lot. I want to kiss her. And then I realize: SHE'S IN MONTANA
~Realizing that not EVERYONE is out to get me.
~But a lot of people still are.
~Realizing that I love too much, and am therefore, an easy target.
~Trying to stop loving.
~FAILING at it.
~DYING to start a band. I have a band name, a CD title, several song names, several songs actually written, a band logo, a website name, and a tour schedule. I have everything I need for a band. Except the actual BAND. I don't know of anyone who would be willing to be in a band with me. At least, not anyone who can actually play any kind of instrument.
~The ONE thought that gets me through the day: 'if you die now, your family will just sell your possessions and not even care enough to give you a real funeral.'
~Holding on until I can find someone who would actually give me a real funeral.
~More pessimistic than ever. I think it's partially because I realize that everything around me is changing, and it wants me to change, too.
~I'd rather hump the underside of a running lawnmower than change.
SO, as you can see, I've been quite busy.....sort of.
I might update later, if I can ever find anything to say.
Peace out
~~Izvritelj~~