arg

[possumxmafia]

so my mom read my diary while i was out yesterday. she told me in the car when she picked me up from fat pipe. i almost just ran down the street when i got out of the car. but i turned around and whent in the house thinking runing away like this isn't worth it. i'd end up going to kristens and be home in a matter of hours. if i'm gonna runaway it has to be thought out. cause if i'm gonna do something like that i have to makeit flawless. it's just a pet peve of mine. luckly she only read stuff that was old but it was a few months ago. she got pissed about two things. i'm not gonna write them here. she didn't have that bad of a reaction to it i donno what she suspected i'm not doing drugs. i'm not haveing sex. sure i got drunk but i haven't done that in 6 months i'm not a fucking alchlohalic. i am realy pissed at her for doing that and she black mailed me so she could read my new one she doesn't care about me if she did she'd want to talk about all the feelings that where expressed in there. she just cares if i do drugs and if i'm haveing sex. she cares about my reputation nothing elce. honestly now i do hate her. now she's realy but me in a jail cell. just for being myself. she cares about her repuataion as a mother. she doesn't care about me. i've never felt this type of hatered towards any one. not even my aunt who whould let me die if it meant more money. my own mother i realy do hate her and cathrine is right i should i just don't know what to do about her. she's a real bitch about every thing. i can't go to my dad he's an ass about shit like this all he'll do if he does take my side is yell at my mom which whould result in further bullshit from my mom by her elling my dad shit from my diary and then he'd get pissed. my dad's not much better than my mom depite popular beileif. my dad's always drunk and he gives off a vibe like he's gonna rape you. especialy when he's drunk. the only thing me and my mo agree on. well my cell is pissing me off i keep on loseing signal in here. well i'm gonna do what i can to get out of this jail cell. i donno maybe i have to wait till collage. or i could just practice my guitar. like smile empty soul. of course they had it worse than me. but that's how they got out but that's not gonna happen over night i need to stay here so they can pay for my guitar lessons. and then i can make money off of that i've never wanted a career in music this bad. i know swimming isn't gonna get me out of here. i'm never going to the olympics and even if i do it's not like that pays alot. the captain of the us gymnastics team is dirt poor. she has to deliver pizza's just to live. my guitar is my ticket out of this hell. i'm not good but i just started so ya can't blame me. i'm sure as hell gonna give this shit a try.

I've got a ticket to ride
and baby i care

christa<3