There's no place like home.
I was asked last night during a phone conversation, "So what are you planning to do?"
I couldn't help but laugh. What a loaded question. I'm pretty much planning on having nothing planned. To tell the truth, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. People keep asking me what I want to do and I have no idea. I don't have a clue what I'm doing past this weekend and that scares me to tears. It's one of the few things that can throw me into a full blown, can't breathe, can't eat, blurry eyed, light headed panic attack. Why must people demand a plan of action at my age? I'm 20 years old. I don't know what I want to do for the next 40 years of my life and I don't think I should have to. And whenever I share my ideas I almost always get a less than enthusiastic reply from people. It's always a, "Oh." or a "Uh-huh." and sometimes a few "Neat!"s thrown in there for good measure. When I start thinking about this shit my mind goes 100 thoughts per second. It's hard because I can't think clearly and it's one of those things that demand a clear head or else you really might screw it up.
Ok, now here comes the panic attack.
I couldn't help but laugh. What a loaded question. I'm pretty much planning on having nothing planned. To tell the truth, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. People keep asking me what I want to do and I have no idea. I don't have a clue what I'm doing past this weekend and that scares me to tears. It's one of the few things that can throw me into a full blown, can't breathe, can't eat, blurry eyed, light headed panic attack. Why must people demand a plan of action at my age? I'm 20 years old. I don't know what I want to do for the next 40 years of my life and I don't think I should have to. And whenever I share my ideas I almost always get a less than enthusiastic reply from people. It's always a, "Oh." or a "Uh-huh." and sometimes a few "Neat!"s thrown in there for good measure. When I start thinking about this shit my mind goes 100 thoughts per second. It's hard because I can't think clearly and it's one of those things that demand a clear head or else you really might screw it up.
Ok, now here comes the panic attack.