(no subject)
People are constantly calling my brother. There is at least one phone call every 10-15 minutes, which also happens to be around the same amount of time my brother spends at home in any given day. These calls continue up until about 9 in the evening, and then they occur about twice an hour. Whenever I say "I am sorry but he isn't in right now," at least half of this countless number of callers insist that I am wrong, as if I'm an incompetent secretary instead of an exhausted sibling who sometimes likes to sleep between the hours of 11 pm and 6 am. "He told me he'd be there," or "Just get him for me." I was even called a "lying bitch" at one point. They're right. I love getting up at 4 am after they call back again and again and again and again when no one answers, letting the phone ring a hundred times just so I can pretend my brother isn't home. I'm fun like that.
A friend of my brother's came to the door about an hour ago. My dad answered. After asking for my brother, "No, he ain't," my dad tells him. But this did not suffice. This friend of my brother's actually started arguing with my dad about it. My dad kept insisting that my brother wasn't home. This kid kept ordering my dad to check. My dad told him he's not going to check and the kid kept yelling at my dad to just run upstairs and check, he knows he's up there. After my dad finally yelled at the top of his lungs for this kid to get off his porch, the kid returned after about five minutes for round two. "His bike's right there, he's here. Get him."
Fuck you! And you! And you!
But it's alright. I've come up with a very good plan. I have assumed my brother's name. Now when someone calls or visits and asks for my brother, I'll merely say "This is she." When they argue with me, I'll forcefully insist that, yes, in fact, it's me. What do you want? But it's not dishonest. Whenever I see my brother, I'll tell him all the wonderful people who took time out of their busy days to check in with us and see how we were.
A friend of my brother's came to the door about an hour ago. My dad answered. After asking for my brother, "No, he ain't," my dad tells him. But this did not suffice. This friend of my brother's actually started arguing with my dad about it. My dad kept insisting that my brother wasn't home. This kid kept ordering my dad to check. My dad told him he's not going to check and the kid kept yelling at my dad to just run upstairs and check, he knows he's up there. After my dad finally yelled at the top of his lungs for this kid to get off his porch, the kid returned after about five minutes for round two. "His bike's right there, he's here. Get him."
Fuck you! And you! And you!
But it's alright. I've come up with a very good plan. I have assumed my brother's name. Now when someone calls or visits and asks for my brother, I'll merely say "This is she." When they argue with me, I'll forcefully insist that, yes, in fact, it's me. What do you want? But it's not dishonest. Whenever I see my brother, I'll tell him all the wonderful people who took time out of their busy days to check in with us and see how we were.