If You Need Help, Please Hang Up And Dial Again.
Not doing well, just apathetic towards anything anymore. I'm starting to question everything in my life, and second-guess if Clarion is the right school for me. It's affordable, I have people I love dearly here, and it's an undergrad degree. It'll do.
It's rained last night and today, and I'm feeling even lower. I can't describe why grey, rainy days just make me sad. I'm ready for home, ready to relax from this semester. Each semester here it seems things fall a part, then I have amazing people who help me put things back together correctly. It's as if we're all laying on the floor, doing a huge 12,000 piece puzzle called my life. But the interesting thing is, everyone else has their puzzles, we work together, but alone on building said puzzles.
I don't know where that rant came from, I honestly don't. It's been quite some time since I've candidly typed, without going back and erasing what I've typed. If I'm having dirrehea via finger, let me be.
Friends; what a concept. I have so many, yet so few. So few that when the going gets rough I can turn to them and say, "I'm not okay". I hate asking for help. I hate admitting that sometimes I'm overwhelmed, and not strong enough.
And I have an amazing friend, who I love with all of my heart. She's not doing well, and I don't like to think that. She's one of the strongest people I know, and I know, I just know that she'll come out on top, fighting. She's a strong woman, and there's not alot of those left anymore. She's taken me under her wing, (per say) and I'll never be able to give to her what she's given to me. She's took me in, and has helped me pick up the pieces. I don't fall to pieces very often, but she's stood beside me when I've needed her the most. I just hope that I can do the same. I love her, in a non-sexual way because duh, we're both big gays.
Maybe this is what I needed. Just a rant, to take off some of this burden I'm carrying. I'm climbing up Mt.Everest with a refridgerator on my back, but damn..I have some amazing people beside me, helping lift this load.
It's rained last night and today, and I'm feeling even lower. I can't describe why grey, rainy days just make me sad. I'm ready for home, ready to relax from this semester. Each semester here it seems things fall a part, then I have amazing people who help me put things back together correctly. It's as if we're all laying on the floor, doing a huge 12,000 piece puzzle called my life. But the interesting thing is, everyone else has their puzzles, we work together, but alone on building said puzzles.
I don't know where that rant came from, I honestly don't. It's been quite some time since I've candidly typed, without going back and erasing what I've typed. If I'm having dirrehea via finger, let me be.
Friends; what a concept. I have so many, yet so few. So few that when the going gets rough I can turn to them and say, "I'm not okay". I hate asking for help. I hate admitting that sometimes I'm overwhelmed, and not strong enough.
And I have an amazing friend, who I love with all of my heart. She's not doing well, and I don't like to think that. She's one of the strongest people I know, and I know, I just know that she'll come out on top, fighting. She's a strong woman, and there's not alot of those left anymore. She's taken me under her wing, (per say) and I'll never be able to give to her what she's given to me. She's took me in, and has helped me pick up the pieces. I don't fall to pieces very often, but she's stood beside me when I've needed her the most. I just hope that I can do the same. I love her, in a non-sexual way because duh, we're both big gays.
Maybe this is what I needed. Just a rant, to take off some of this burden I'm carrying. I'm climbing up Mt.Everest with a refridgerator on my back, but damn..I have some amazing people beside me, helping lift this load.