Ramblings what have been on my mind.
Lately, I have been reading an awful lot of blogs by women who were abused as children. A lot of them are roughly my age.
They say things like, "I remember when I thought everyone was X" or "Now I know Y isn't true about me" or "I used to think everyone panicked when they talked too loud, because sometimes I got hit for that and didn't know it's okay to be loud as a Real Adult."
And I say: Really? For seriousness? That's not normal?
It makes me feel like an alien. When you were a kid and you were hungry, did you really just ask for food and get it? Were you really never scared to be caught typing too loudly? Did you really never stay up late because mom was playing Solitare and if she lost, you'd be in for it? Did your parents really never steal your money because you were nine-years-old and a slut who didn't deserve to have her own money? Really really?
And while I have this vague idea that my family really was worst than most, how bad is that, really? Mostly I'm just whiney... right?
The internet tells me that is actually pretty bad.
I don't know. What do I have to compare it to? Maybe I'm actually terrified of people for a good reason, though.
They say things like, "I remember when I thought everyone was X" or "Now I know Y isn't true about me" or "I used to think everyone panicked when they talked too loud, because sometimes I got hit for that and didn't know it's okay to be loud as a Real Adult."
And I say: Really? For seriousness? That's not normal?
It makes me feel like an alien. When you were a kid and you were hungry, did you really just ask for food and get it? Were you really never scared to be caught typing too loudly? Did you really never stay up late because mom was playing Solitare and if she lost, you'd be in for it? Did your parents really never steal your money because you were nine-years-old and a slut who didn't deserve to have her own money? Really really?
And while I have this vague idea that my family really was worst than most, how bad is that, really? Mostly I'm just whiney... right?
The internet tells me that is actually pretty bad.
I don't know. What do I have to compare it to? Maybe I'm actually terrified of people for a good reason, though.