(no subject)
Wanna know the weird thing.... ya acutally do something that woudl SEEM right. there's this one girl who's liked me for some time now and i tell her exactly what's going on and how i've had a "fuck buddy" for a weekend... and now its' like i shoulda never told. then there's mentioning how things are actually going extremely well wtih this new girl.... not emaning that there's a relationship just that things are going well. and it's like they fall apart... i mean what the hell??? they never see me... so how am i supposed to still like them if they never see me!!! i haven't seen them in who knows how long. since then there have been lots of little random things happen and they're actin all upset over something that i (WHILE I"M SINGLE) have done. one's breaking down because of me tellin her bout Sara. not to mention Maggie and Amanda probably forgot eachother even exist when i specifically told them about eachother. well in the end they're both v cards anyway and i dont' wanna deal with that! cuz then there's gonna be some unbelievable attachment and i SERIOUSLY dont' want that right now. now i'm most likely going to get involved with a girl that i like a lot but (as usual... there's a catch) she lives in MARYLAND ><. why.... why is there ALWAYS A HORRIBLE CATCH LIKE THAT!?!?!?!? i mena... in the end it's nto all that bad. she goes to school 3 hours away. if i was still going otu wtih Jen... she's be 2 horus and 10 misn away.... Amanda is an hour and 20 mins or so away... and maggie while at school is about an hour. but she lives in maryland too so she'd technically be over 3 hours away. T_T..... why.... i've seriously stopped looking... and i get all these long distances when the subject comes up. now granted there's Brian and Audrey... but they at least GO TO SCHOOL TOGETHER!!!! they get to see eachtoher more than they don't.... why the hell can't that kidna thing happen to me. and one other downside.... Sara is a Senior.... but that could be an upside... depending on what she does... she might be closer than usual after she graduates. BUT.... if she's a senior... after this school year we could be capute! it's times like this that make me REALLY happy that Amy isnt' a factor anymore in any of this... thank god two years out of the picture and STAYIN THAT WAY!!! there's a huge plus! Jen's out of the picture which is a plus i guess. tho she's a senior... there's a little over 2 years age difference between me and Sara... but at least we act very similar. i can act a shitload older when i'm not being crazy. i guess things coudl always be worse. like if i kept all this stuff to myself longer and then told everyone what was going on.... granted i probably shoudla just told Amanda and Maggie what was goin on the second thigns started happening...
i appologize for this horrible rant.... i just needed to get all that out of my system!!!
oh and one more thing.... IF somoething ever happens to me and Sara... knwoing kim... she'll find some way to blame it on me... cuz ever notice that it's never the girls fault that something goes wrong???? it always has to be something the guy did.... maybe i'm overreacting.... maybe there's nothing to really be worried about and only distance is a problem and a minor problem at that. perhaps everything will be just fine! maybe for once in my life... things will actually be nice and beautiful! boy do i wish that were true... if it was i could die happy knowing that at least SOMETHING went right relationship wise.....
i appologize for this horrible rant.... i just needed to get all that out of my system!!!
oh and one more thing.... IF somoething ever happens to me and Sara... knwoing kim... she'll find some way to blame it on me... cuz ever notice that it's never the girls fault that something goes wrong???? it always has to be something the guy did.... maybe i'm overreacting.... maybe there's nothing to really be worried about and only distance is a problem and a minor problem at that. perhaps everything will be just fine! maybe for once in my life... things will actually be nice and beautiful! boy do i wish that were true... if it was i could die happy knowing that at least SOMETHING went right relationship wise.....