Meat, Time and Boredom
The other day I ended up partying into the early morning and I couldn't help but notice that my body isn't quite as good at dealing with complete full night of fun. The whole next day my mind was occupied with all of the moments that helped me realize that I was getting older. Things like going to school, sexual education, learning to drive, going on a trip by myself, and seeing friends have children remind me that I'm progressing through life. Every once in a while those things run though my mind so I can see myself more clearly in the now.
This seems about right.
One of the biggest ones was when my sister had baby Taylor and I watched the Golden Girls marathon in the waiting room for 24 hours. That was a year ago and now he's even eating solid foods. I just fed my sister and nephew Ryan chicken chili and it got me thinking about my diet for the first time since the last time I just stopped eating meat. After having been vegetarian for a few months, I returned to being an omnivore. Since then, I have noticed that meat has lost a lot of its appeal but I still consume animal when offered to me. I would wager that a lot of is has to do with my issues with food going to waste. My parents are of the opposing mindset, though. I would say that more than half of their canned and frozen food as long past the "best by" date and I have had a long standing rivalry with expired food. This began when I was a child, it was like the expired food was daring me to eat it. Most food can be eaten well past the expiration date if you are willing to make certain concessions. For example, after about a decade, canned food begins to lose most of it's flavor but holds onto its nutritional value for a much longer. Other foods start getting confusing after the "best by" date. Pasta is one of the worst because I can't find any science behind determining how eatable it is.
Anyway, I was spending some time with my parents and noticed that they had an abundance of beef jerky from back in the day. If some sad animal had to get chopped up for food, it is really a shame to not eat it, so I opened it up and immediately noticed that the strips of dried meat had darkened and dried in the last three years, which was the year the package suggested you eat the food by. Placing a piece into my mouth zone left me immediately perplexed. It had been quite some time, but this was not how I remember beef jerky tasting. It is really difficult to explain the palette so I will try to be a descriptive as possible. Close your eyes and imagine that you are pushing a thin crispy piece of pure mummy's skin into your face. I'm talking straight up mummy skin.
So my initial foray back into meatsmanship has not been the great success that I had hoped for. I found that I could only eat about seven square inches of mummy skin before I started feeling ill. Annoyingly, it also required me to consume massive amounts of water in order to replenish my own body's moisture as it was quickly stolen from me by the bark like flesh cursed by the sun-god, Ra. However, not all meat related incidents have been quite as woeful. I had a pretty good chicken sandwich at Beezy's and have even frequented fast food restaurants and taken advantage of their various "value" menus. I should specify to those of you who do not know, Beezy's is not a fast food restaurant. It is actually one of the only places in the universe that is worth repeatedly going back to just for the food. I don't recall having ever taken a person there and heard them complain about anything. The prices are reasonable, the food is outstanding and the ambiance is good for your psyche. I just realized that this turned into an advertisement and I'm getting off topic, so here is the link: http://www.beezyscafe.com/
Yesterday I didn't go to Beezy's, though. I went to a Burger King, and I went in a particularly good mood too. When I am in these moods and bored, I tend to do things to entertain myself. On this particular occasion I took note that I was wearing a shirt that featured a zombie from one of my favorite games of 1996. I walked quickly up to the counter as the cashier asked how he could help me. The first thing out of my mouth was a long sigh, followed by, "Hey, I'm really sorry that I'm wearing such a scary shirt but I really didn't know I was going to be leaving the house today."
He was immediately confused, "What?"
"Yeah, I hadn't planned on going out of the house today so I put this shirt on because it's too scary to just wear around but then I got hungry and forgot I was wearing it. I just wanted to say that I was sorry for wearing such a scary shirt in your Burger King." I grabbed at the shirt a little as if it was upsetting me to even have it on.
"Oh. I guess- I guess that's okay."
"No, I really should have thought about what I was doing before I left the house in this scary shirt. Frankly, it is very kind of you to even consider serving me under these circumstances."
Two other employees had also taken notice and were giving me vaguely panicked looks. I began to feel myself quickly loosing all composure. If they said anything about the scariness of my shirt, I would have erupted into a fit of laughter and probably collapsed on the ground. There was absolutely no way I was even prepared to handle him even acknowledging the shirt at this point. I was on the razor's edge of sanity and just about to fall into an abyss of a giggling seizure that would last the rest of my weird life. I imagined the employees trying to picture me going through my closet that morning and saying aloud, "Oh my, this shirt is far to scary to wear out! It might frighten someone." I faked a cough to relieve a little bit of pressure but it quickly took hold of my face as a barely controlled grin. I twisted it into a bizarre and extreme faux-gratitude.
There was a long pause and I said, "Thank you so much. I'm very excited to order."
"Um. Sure, whenever you are ready."
That was it. I lost it. It started as a soft chuckle that I tried to repress but it evolved into a good amount of laughter and began to snowball. I had to roll with it so I acted surprised and delighted that they had chocolate cream pies and chicken in the shape of lightning bolts. I kept saying how outrageous and funny I thought it all was. I even said, "ICEE? They should call it NICE-E because that's how it tastes!" I walked out, laughing maniacally, with fries and a drink and I am guessing that the entire staff assumed that I was crazy or high.
Speaking of being high, I have come to the realization that I am on a first name basis with more crackheads than would be perceived as normal. I bumped into Eugene the other night and, as with most crackheads, knowing their name is useful because they will almost never remember who you are. If you can provide them with their name, a place they hang out at and the name of one of their crackhead allies, you have essentially vouched for yourself. I hope everyone found that little how-to helpful. Learn your local crackhead's names and maybe give them a beer. You'll be glad you did.
I've always wanted to interview them but I doubt that most of them would ever go for it. I remember once that this young man interrupted something I was shooting and then begged me to film him while he laid down this freestyle about how JFK got shot and he was a "rose that rose through the pavement." I did until the battery ran out and when I told him that the battery ran out and just faked the last two minutes. Writing about it reminds me of how frequently we used to film and how that has not been the case as of late. I have always wanted everyone to do well in terms of creative output and fulfillment. The reality is that it doesn't matter why we ever stopped filming. What matters is that it doesn't stay that way. I would like to get as much done before I leave and can contribute a substantial amount of time, energy and ideas. We have plenty of helpful friends and more equipment than ever before. I'd like to see us all make use of that equipment and our talents so that we can feel good about ourselves and continue to work on things I know that we all care about.
I guess that applies to a lot of things. It doesn't always matter why it went wrong. You cannot keep your focus there if you ever plan on fixing it and achieving something better. I should know, I sometimes hold grudges and dwell on certain mistakes I have made years later.
Hmm. That doesn't seem very progressive of me.
This seems about right.
One of the biggest ones was when my sister had baby Taylor and I watched the Golden Girls marathon in the waiting room for 24 hours. That was a year ago and now he's even eating solid foods. I just fed my sister and nephew Ryan chicken chili and it got me thinking about my diet for the first time since the last time I just stopped eating meat. After having been vegetarian for a few months, I returned to being an omnivore. Since then, I have noticed that meat has lost a lot of its appeal but I still consume animal when offered to me. I would wager that a lot of is has to do with my issues with food going to waste. My parents are of the opposing mindset, though. I would say that more than half of their canned and frozen food as long past the "best by" date and I have had a long standing rivalry with expired food. This began when I was a child, it was like the expired food was daring me to eat it. Most food can be eaten well past the expiration date if you are willing to make certain concessions. For example, after about a decade, canned food begins to lose most of it's flavor but holds onto its nutritional value for a much longer. Other foods start getting confusing after the "best by" date. Pasta is one of the worst because I can't find any science behind determining how eatable it is.
Anyway, I was spending some time with my parents and noticed that they had an abundance of beef jerky from back in the day. If some sad animal had to get chopped up for food, it is really a shame to not eat it, so I opened it up and immediately noticed that the strips of dried meat had darkened and dried in the last three years, which was the year the package suggested you eat the food by. Placing a piece into my mouth zone left me immediately perplexed. It had been quite some time, but this was not how I remember beef jerky tasting. It is really difficult to explain the palette so I will try to be a descriptive as possible. Close your eyes and imagine that you are pushing a thin crispy piece of pure mummy's skin into your face. I'm talking straight up mummy skin.
So my initial foray back into meatsmanship has not been the great success that I had hoped for. I found that I could only eat about seven square inches of mummy skin before I started feeling ill. Annoyingly, it also required me to consume massive amounts of water in order to replenish my own body's moisture as it was quickly stolen from me by the bark like flesh cursed by the sun-god, Ra. However, not all meat related incidents have been quite as woeful. I had a pretty good chicken sandwich at Beezy's and have even frequented fast food restaurants and taken advantage of their various "value" menus. I should specify to those of you who do not know, Beezy's is not a fast food restaurant. It is actually one of the only places in the universe that is worth repeatedly going back to just for the food. I don't recall having ever taken a person there and heard them complain about anything. The prices are reasonable, the food is outstanding and the ambiance is good for your psyche. I just realized that this turned into an advertisement and I'm getting off topic, so here is the link: http://www.beezyscafe.com/
Yesterday I didn't go to Beezy's, though. I went to a Burger King, and I went in a particularly good mood too. When I am in these moods and bored, I tend to do things to entertain myself. On this particular occasion I took note that I was wearing a shirt that featured a zombie from one of my favorite games of 1996. I walked quickly up to the counter as the cashier asked how he could help me. The first thing out of my mouth was a long sigh, followed by, "Hey, I'm really sorry that I'm wearing such a scary shirt but I really didn't know I was going to be leaving the house today."
He was immediately confused, "What?"
"Yeah, I hadn't planned on going out of the house today so I put this shirt on because it's too scary to just wear around but then I got hungry and forgot I was wearing it. I just wanted to say that I was sorry for wearing such a scary shirt in your Burger King." I grabbed at the shirt a little as if it was upsetting me to even have it on.
"Oh. I guess- I guess that's okay."
"No, I really should have thought about what I was doing before I left the house in this scary shirt. Frankly, it is very kind of you to even consider serving me under these circumstances."
Two other employees had also taken notice and were giving me vaguely panicked looks. I began to feel myself quickly loosing all composure. If they said anything about the scariness of my shirt, I would have erupted into a fit of laughter and probably collapsed on the ground. There was absolutely no way I was even prepared to handle him even acknowledging the shirt at this point. I was on the razor's edge of sanity and just about to fall into an abyss of a giggling seizure that would last the rest of my weird life. I imagined the employees trying to picture me going through my closet that morning and saying aloud, "Oh my, this shirt is far to scary to wear out! It might frighten someone." I faked a cough to relieve a little bit of pressure but it quickly took hold of my face as a barely controlled grin. I twisted it into a bizarre and extreme faux-gratitude.
There was a long pause and I said, "Thank you so much. I'm very excited to order."
"Um. Sure, whenever you are ready."
That was it. I lost it. It started as a soft chuckle that I tried to repress but it evolved into a good amount of laughter and began to snowball. I had to roll with it so I acted surprised and delighted that they had chocolate cream pies and chicken in the shape of lightning bolts. I kept saying how outrageous and funny I thought it all was. I even said, "ICEE? They should call it NICE-E because that's how it tastes!" I walked out, laughing maniacally, with fries and a drink and I am guessing that the entire staff assumed that I was crazy or high.
Speaking of being high, I have come to the realization that I am on a first name basis with more crackheads than would be perceived as normal. I bumped into Eugene the other night and, as with most crackheads, knowing their name is useful because they will almost never remember who you are. If you can provide them with their name, a place they hang out at and the name of one of their crackhead allies, you have essentially vouched for yourself. I hope everyone found that little how-to helpful. Learn your local crackhead's names and maybe give them a beer. You'll be glad you did.
I've always wanted to interview them but I doubt that most of them would ever go for it. I remember once that this young man interrupted something I was shooting and then begged me to film him while he laid down this freestyle about how JFK got shot and he was a "rose that rose through the pavement." I did until the battery ran out and when I told him that the battery ran out and just faked the last two minutes. Writing about it reminds me of how frequently we used to film and how that has not been the case as of late. I have always wanted everyone to do well in terms of creative output and fulfillment. The reality is that it doesn't matter why we ever stopped filming. What matters is that it doesn't stay that way. I would like to get as much done before I leave and can contribute a substantial amount of time, energy and ideas. We have plenty of helpful friends and more equipment than ever before. I'd like to see us all make use of that equipment and our talents so that we can feel good about ourselves and continue to work on things I know that we all care about.
I guess that applies to a lot of things. It doesn't always matter why it went wrong. You cannot keep your focus there if you ever plan on fixing it and achieving something better. I should know, I sometimes hold grudges and dwell on certain mistakes I have made years later.
Hmm. That doesn't seem very progressive of me.