Hidden Emotions (Chapter 8)
Title: Hidden Emotions
Rating: R
Genre: angst, romance
Pairings: JaeChunSu...maybe some YunJae I dunno
Warnings: Violence, suicide attempts, sex
Author's Note: this is for a friend of mine (Junsuholic!) who wanted a really angsty YooSu story so this will be one of the most depressing stories I've ever written...hopefully I don't get depressed writing it >.<
Summary: the prologue says all haha
....oooohh you're all going to hate me....another cliff hanger! (apparently I looooove making them because I still do it.....huh, don't hurt me I'm doing this to make the story a little longer and i love keeping all you in suspense. What can I say, I'm a cruel person :P)
The ambulance pulled into emergency and Junsu was whisked off to surgery while Yoochun was shown to the waiting room. At first he sat in a chair but his leg bounced irritably and he stood up and paced instead. Thoughts of Junsu and Jaejoong flickered through his head and he rubbed his temples to get them out. He shook his head and leaned it against the wall when a nurse came out. As fast as he had jumped out of the chair, he had straightened himself and bowed stiffly and nervously.
“Are you a relative of his?” Yoochun shook his head and the nurse sighed. “Do you know where they are?”
“His father’s dead and his brother’s currently being held for questioning,” he replied. She nodded.
“Well do you know how long his heart has been failing him?” she asked, and Yoochun shrugged.
“I couldn’t tell you…I kind of met him about a month ago. Very quiet and lonely, too lonely. My family doctor told me though that it could have been brought on by stress…and from what I know he was under so much it was almost crushing him.” Yoochun looked at the floor. “I knew I should have done something; now look what happened.”
The nurse patted his shoulder reassuringly. “Don’t blame yourself. And since you’re the only one here for him I guess it would be best for you to know what’s going on. There’s severe damage to his heart and it’ll take a good three to four hours to repair, depending on how smoothly everything goes. By the looks of it, though, we’ll be able to repair it well enough that there will be no need for a transplant. We’ll give you an update every hour. In the meantime I suggest you get yourself a bite to eat or do something that’ll keep you occupied.” She dropped her hand and headed back into surgery.
Again Yoochun slumped into the waiting room chair and ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily. Suddenly his cell phone jumped to life, scaring the hell out of him. He scrambled to get it and was surprised to see that it was Changmin. Quickly he flipped it open and pressed it to his ear. “Hello?”
“Oh thank god you picked up! You will never believe who’s on the news,” Changmin said, “where are you?”
“At the hospital. What’s going on?” Yoochun looked up at the TV hanging from the ceiling and grabbed the remote. “Who’s on TV?”
When he turned the channel to the news it showed an anchorwoman in front of a familiar house. Yoochun’s eyes widened. How did the media get a hold on that already?!
“Neighbours say they never heard anything other than strange yelling that erupted from the otherwise quiet house,” she was saying and Yoochun leaned closer to the TV. “When the ambulance arrived it was witnessed that the youngest son, Kim Junsu, age 19, was taken into the vehicle shortly before his older brother, Kim Jaejoong, age 21, was taken into custody. The sudden death of Kim Dong, age 50, has been left to police for further investigation under suspicion of murder or possibly self defence. Kim Jaejoong’s trial is supposed to commence when his brother is awake and able to testify.”
Yoochun watched the news silently. “How did they find out about all this already? It’s so soon….”
“Hey, it’s the media, never doubt their keen senses for a story,” Changmin sighed, “so then Jae hyung’s really under investigation?”
“Kind of…Junsu’s in the hospital going through surgery and their father is dead. The thing is…Jaejoong killed his father to save Junsu. They can’t really be considering it as murder!”
“Well until Junsu wakes up what else do they have to fall back on? Their father’s blood was found all over Jaejoong and they only have his word that he was only protecting Junsu.” There was a pause on the other line and Yoochun imagined Changmin biting his nail. “I just hope the surgery goes well and that Junsu will be able to sort all this out in the end.”
Nodding, Yoochun sat in the chair and sighed. “I don’t know Changmin…it was as though there was no more life in him, even on the first day I met him. It was as though there was no hope for him, nothing in this life worth living for.”
“There might be one reason,” Changmin said softly, and Yoochun sat up. “I’m pretty sure he loves you back Chun, that little stunt he pulled on the roof…that was because he saw you with Jae hyung. The way he acted around you; when he had been confronted before he would ignore them completely. With you, his cheeks went red, he pulled away…he acknowledged you.”
“Observant much?” Yoochun said quietly and Changmin snorted.
“Yeah, I can read people easily enough...but if he really does love you then maybe that’s reason enough for him to keep wanting to live.”
“Thanks Min…I appreciate that.”
“Yeah no problem. Just don’t screw this up okay? If he’s that delicate he’s going to need you big time.”
“You don’t have to worry about that,” Yoochun smirked, “alright well that cheered me up a little, I think I can stomach some food now.” They laughed and said their good-byes. Yoochun slid the phone shut and rested his head against the wall and smiled. The thought of Junsu having the same feelings as he did was enough to make his mood a little more optimistic. He stretched and went down to the cafeteria for a bite to eat.
~*~*~*~
When Yoochun arrived back up in the waiting room he was surprised when he found Jaejoong sitting there, a police at his side. He looked up and stood quickly, and hurried forward to wrap his arms around Yoochun. Yoochun held him tightly while the older man broke down into sobs.
“Is he going to be alright?” he asked in a quivering voice, and Yoochun sighed.
“I don’t know…it all lies in Junsu’s hands now. If he wants to live he’ll pull through this. All we can do is pray that that’s what he’ll do.” Yoochun rubbed Jaejoong’s back reassuringly and rested his head against Jaejoong’s. The guard made no move to separate them so they stood there, holding each other for what seemed like an eternity. When Jaejoong pulled away, he wiped his eyes and took a shaking breath.
“Thank-you, for everything,” he said, clearing his throat. “Even when you found out what I did you’re still here supporting me and Junsu.”
“No one deserves to be left alone,” Yoochun replied, “I would never do that to anyone…besides you’re still a friend.”
Jaejoong gasped and looked completely taken back. “But I thought you said-”
“I know what I said, and I don’t forgive you, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. It’s hard losing someone, believe me I lost my grandfather a few years ago. But you have to move forward, and I’m willing to move past this.” He smiled and patted Jaejoong’s shoulder. “Right?”
“Thanks…”
It had already been an hour and the nurse came out and they all bowed formally before he spoke. Jaejoong slid his hand into Yoochun’s and squeezed it tightly; Yoochun didn’t move his hand and let the older man hold it.
“So far the surgery is going smoothly,” he explained, “there was a little fright when we couldn’t tell if the heart was still pumping blood or not, but it still seems that it’s got a few years left when we finish the repairs. However, those years could shorten if he puts any stress on it whatsoever. Heavy activity is out of the question, along with mental stress. We’ll let you a little more on the check-ups when we finish the surgery.”
“Thank-you doctor,” Yoochun said, because Jaejoong was too shaken to say anything at all. When the doctor left Jaejoong fell into the seat and put his chin on his hands.
“So…now what do we do?” he asked, as Yoochun sat next to him.
“Now we wait.”
~*~*~*~
Junsu was lying on the table in the emergency room, a tube down his throat and an IV in his arm. His chest was bare and a heart and lung bypass machine. His heart lay still as the surgeon operated on it, repairing the severe damage of his dying heart. The only sounds were of the machines beeping and pumping, and the occasional instruction from the surgeon to the nurses. They worked slowly and skilfully, for that kind of procedure was a common thing for them to do. The hours went by and everything went smoothly. They had to work carefully or one twitch could jeopardize the entire surgery.
~*~*~*~
Yoochun and Jaejoong waited as patiently as they could for the surgery to end. No matter how long they sat, Yoochun’s leg bounced rapidly, and Jaejoong’s almost had a hole in it from him biting it so hard. Yunho and Changmin had dropped by and they sat next to them quietly, as if they were afraid saying the wrong thing would ruin everything.
Just when the fourth hour came and went Yoochun got really anxious. “They said it would only take three to four hours. What’s taking them so long?”
“They can only estimate. Things happen and they have to slow down or something,” Changmin said, shaking his head, “it’s alright Chun…nothing’s wrong.”
“You’d better be right,” Yoochun huffed, sitting back in seat.
The moment his butt touched the chair, however, the surgery door opened and the surgeon himself came out. All four men stood up and waited to hear the news of the sudden beloved Junsu.
Rating: R
Genre: angst, romance
Pairings: JaeChunSu...maybe some YunJae I dunno
Warnings: Violence, suicide attempts, sex
Author's Note: this is for a friend of mine (Junsuholic!) who wanted a really angsty YooSu story so this will be one of the most depressing stories I've ever written...hopefully I don't get depressed writing it >.<
Summary: the prologue says all haha
....oooohh you're all going to hate me....another cliff hanger! (apparently I looooove making them because I still do it.....huh, don't hurt me I'm doing this to make the story a little longer and i love keeping all you in suspense. What can I say, I'm a cruel person :P)
The ambulance pulled into emergency and Junsu was whisked off to surgery while Yoochun was shown to the waiting room. At first he sat in a chair but his leg bounced irritably and he stood up and paced instead. Thoughts of Junsu and Jaejoong flickered through his head and he rubbed his temples to get them out. He shook his head and leaned it against the wall when a nurse came out. As fast as he had jumped out of the chair, he had straightened himself and bowed stiffly and nervously.
“Are you a relative of his?” Yoochun shook his head and the nurse sighed. “Do you know where they are?”
“His father’s dead and his brother’s currently being held for questioning,” he replied. She nodded.
“Well do you know how long his heart has been failing him?” she asked, and Yoochun shrugged.
“I couldn’t tell you…I kind of met him about a month ago. Very quiet and lonely, too lonely. My family doctor told me though that it could have been brought on by stress…and from what I know he was under so much it was almost crushing him.” Yoochun looked at the floor. “I knew I should have done something; now look what happened.”
The nurse patted his shoulder reassuringly. “Don’t blame yourself. And since you’re the only one here for him I guess it would be best for you to know what’s going on. There’s severe damage to his heart and it’ll take a good three to four hours to repair, depending on how smoothly everything goes. By the looks of it, though, we’ll be able to repair it well enough that there will be no need for a transplant. We’ll give you an update every hour. In the meantime I suggest you get yourself a bite to eat or do something that’ll keep you occupied.” She dropped her hand and headed back into surgery.
Again Yoochun slumped into the waiting room chair and ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily. Suddenly his cell phone jumped to life, scaring the hell out of him. He scrambled to get it and was surprised to see that it was Changmin. Quickly he flipped it open and pressed it to his ear. “Hello?”
“Oh thank god you picked up! You will never believe who’s on the news,” Changmin said, “where are you?”
“At the hospital. What’s going on?” Yoochun looked up at the TV hanging from the ceiling and grabbed the remote. “Who’s on TV?”
When he turned the channel to the news it showed an anchorwoman in front of a familiar house. Yoochun’s eyes widened. How did the media get a hold on that already?!
“Neighbours say they never heard anything other than strange yelling that erupted from the otherwise quiet house,” she was saying and Yoochun leaned closer to the TV. “When the ambulance arrived it was witnessed that the youngest son, Kim Junsu, age 19, was taken into the vehicle shortly before his older brother, Kim Jaejoong, age 21, was taken into custody. The sudden death of Kim Dong, age 50, has been left to police for further investigation under suspicion of murder or possibly self defence. Kim Jaejoong’s trial is supposed to commence when his brother is awake and able to testify.”
Yoochun watched the news silently. “How did they find out about all this already? It’s so soon….”
“Hey, it’s the media, never doubt their keen senses for a story,” Changmin sighed, “so then Jae hyung’s really under investigation?”
“Kind of…Junsu’s in the hospital going through surgery and their father is dead. The thing is…Jaejoong killed his father to save Junsu. They can’t really be considering it as murder!”
“Well until Junsu wakes up what else do they have to fall back on? Their father’s blood was found all over Jaejoong and they only have his word that he was only protecting Junsu.” There was a pause on the other line and Yoochun imagined Changmin biting his nail. “I just hope the surgery goes well and that Junsu will be able to sort all this out in the end.”
Nodding, Yoochun sat in the chair and sighed. “I don’t know Changmin…it was as though there was no more life in him, even on the first day I met him. It was as though there was no hope for him, nothing in this life worth living for.”
“There might be one reason,” Changmin said softly, and Yoochun sat up. “I’m pretty sure he loves you back Chun, that little stunt he pulled on the roof…that was because he saw you with Jae hyung. The way he acted around you; when he had been confronted before he would ignore them completely. With you, his cheeks went red, he pulled away…he acknowledged you.”
“Observant much?” Yoochun said quietly and Changmin snorted.
“Yeah, I can read people easily enough...but if he really does love you then maybe that’s reason enough for him to keep wanting to live.”
“Thanks Min…I appreciate that.”
“Yeah no problem. Just don’t screw this up okay? If he’s that delicate he’s going to need you big time.”
“You don’t have to worry about that,” Yoochun smirked, “alright well that cheered me up a little, I think I can stomach some food now.” They laughed and said their good-byes. Yoochun slid the phone shut and rested his head against the wall and smiled. The thought of Junsu having the same feelings as he did was enough to make his mood a little more optimistic. He stretched and went down to the cafeteria for a bite to eat.
~*~*~*~
When Yoochun arrived back up in the waiting room he was surprised when he found Jaejoong sitting there, a police at his side. He looked up and stood quickly, and hurried forward to wrap his arms around Yoochun. Yoochun held him tightly while the older man broke down into sobs.
“Is he going to be alright?” he asked in a quivering voice, and Yoochun sighed.
“I don’t know…it all lies in Junsu’s hands now. If he wants to live he’ll pull through this. All we can do is pray that that’s what he’ll do.” Yoochun rubbed Jaejoong’s back reassuringly and rested his head against Jaejoong’s. The guard made no move to separate them so they stood there, holding each other for what seemed like an eternity. When Jaejoong pulled away, he wiped his eyes and took a shaking breath.
“Thank-you, for everything,” he said, clearing his throat. “Even when you found out what I did you’re still here supporting me and Junsu.”
“No one deserves to be left alone,” Yoochun replied, “I would never do that to anyone…besides you’re still a friend.”
Jaejoong gasped and looked completely taken back. “But I thought you said-”
“I know what I said, and I don’t forgive you, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. It’s hard losing someone, believe me I lost my grandfather a few years ago. But you have to move forward, and I’m willing to move past this.” He smiled and patted Jaejoong’s shoulder. “Right?”
“Thanks…”
It had already been an hour and the nurse came out and they all bowed formally before he spoke. Jaejoong slid his hand into Yoochun’s and squeezed it tightly; Yoochun didn’t move his hand and let the older man hold it.
“So far the surgery is going smoothly,” he explained, “there was a little fright when we couldn’t tell if the heart was still pumping blood or not, but it still seems that it’s got a few years left when we finish the repairs. However, those years could shorten if he puts any stress on it whatsoever. Heavy activity is out of the question, along with mental stress. We’ll let you a little more on the check-ups when we finish the surgery.”
“Thank-you doctor,” Yoochun said, because Jaejoong was too shaken to say anything at all. When the doctor left Jaejoong fell into the seat and put his chin on his hands.
“So…now what do we do?” he asked, as Yoochun sat next to him.
“Now we wait.”
~*~*~*~
Junsu was lying on the table in the emergency room, a tube down his throat and an IV in his arm. His chest was bare and a heart and lung bypass machine. His heart lay still as the surgeon operated on it, repairing the severe damage of his dying heart. The only sounds were of the machines beeping and pumping, and the occasional instruction from the surgeon to the nurses. They worked slowly and skilfully, for that kind of procedure was a common thing for them to do. The hours went by and everything went smoothly. They had to work carefully or one twitch could jeopardize the entire surgery.
~*~*~*~
Yoochun and Jaejoong waited as patiently as they could for the surgery to end. No matter how long they sat, Yoochun’s leg bounced rapidly, and Jaejoong’s almost had a hole in it from him biting it so hard. Yunho and Changmin had dropped by and they sat next to them quietly, as if they were afraid saying the wrong thing would ruin everything.
Just when the fourth hour came and went Yoochun got really anxious. “They said it would only take three to four hours. What’s taking them so long?”
“They can only estimate. Things happen and they have to slow down or something,” Changmin said, shaking his head, “it’s alright Chun…nothing’s wrong.”
“You’d better be right,” Yoochun huffed, sitting back in seat.
The moment his butt touched the chair, however, the surgery door opened and the surgeon himself came out. All four men stood up and waited to hear the news of the sudden beloved Junsu.