(no subject)
It's been two weeks since I last updated and that wasn't even me updating. And I wish I had the will power to delete you and just stop coming on to livejournal every day to read my friends page and explore other people's friends pages. But I enjoy some of the pretense and drama and whatnot that takes place and some friendships on livejournal are better here then wherever else they may take place. So as much as people get frustrated with livejournal, deleting it wont stop you from still coming back and spending extended periods of time reading other people's entries. So instead of vowing a livejournal absence in my life im going to own up to my addiction and embrace it with more frequent updates. I have to thank Hannah for holding off the beasts in my temporary lack of presence. So now I am making some changes to my life. Im starting an intense diet, I am exercising and I am updating on livejournal and I am also vowing to stop the procrastination in all aspects of my life including school. And I need to make these changes to make myself happy. I don't go swimming naymore without a shirt on. In gym, I dont take off my shirt the normal way but instead switch shirts underneath my current shirt. I am uncomfortable in my skin and one of the few things i had going for myself, my good grades, are lacking. I need to pick up all aspects of my life. And it really is a need. And livejournal, you need to help me. Oh god. I have too much invested in this livejournal. It doesn't really provide any answers but I like thinking out loud sometimes and looking back at souvenirs of times before.
I guess the most efficient way to do this update would be to do a list of things I've done. I wish I could write a paragraph for each and every single event but unfortunately that is quite impossible. Which leads to another reason to update more frequently: a bunch of details of memories will be lost from being written down. I'll try.
-I got Mushnik in Little Shop of Horrors in one of the best castings I've seen in a while.
-I went to see Avenue Q and fell in love with the show in every way. One of the most amazing nights.
-Emily and I went to see Bright Eyes the night before a French midterm and didn't get home until the wee hours of the morning. I had tremendous amounts of fun and wonderful conversations.
-Someone may or may not have developed a skeevy mancrush on me.
-I let go of a previous crush and just decided it was better for me to move on.
-I let down a best friend when i didn't show up to a promised occasion. I have to say more on this. I feel like such a douche bag and I want to just talk to her and tell her everything I felt that weekend but when she comes down the hallway I just get scared.
-I completely stopped doing work for English and I'm really hurting my average as well as my self-esteem.
-I developed a new crushish.
-I vowed to effectively give up on old friendhsips but instead of taking a healthy friendship i reacted by proceeding in an immature rebuttle. I don't cope well with change.
-My mother purchased one of the town houses. I think i may get my own room as a final verdict. I showed my house to my friends and they loved it reassuring me that I can be happy with change
-I had a wonderful and skanky hellweek for LSOH. The shows were amazing Im in love with the cast. I got named the cast whore.
-My average in English went up 10 points.
-I started excelling in Math Honors.
-i dissected a frog, a grasshopper and an earthworm.
-I got to be really good friends with katie allyn who I barely used to talk to.
-I started enjoying art class less and less.
-I got miserably lost in Manhattan with KK and sofia in one of the worst nights ever, all on a trip to the dermatologist.
-I saw a whole bunch of people from summer camp that i love and miss dearly. Maddy and Tess I sweat you guys.
-I got a lot closer with the cast of LSOH and especially all my girls in the dressing room.
-Laurie Samay began stalking LSOH. Freaky girl.
-I kind of stopped watching The O.C. not because i dont love it but because im so busy.
-I spent a fair amount of lunches in the library.
-I played truth or dare at Todd's house and had the most awkward night of my life.
-I went on a two hour car ride with two drunk people in a really small and smelly car. Bean was my only sober one.
-Melanie and Todd and myself fell out of touch with eachother for two weeks because of our tremendously busy lives.
-My brother went schizo and tried to kill my mom.
-David and I got in a battle using items of kitchenware. For details see his xanga: Aphoticpierce
-My phone broke, I got a new phone, and it broke too!
-I may attend LLC. I got a scholarship for my association with BTC and the idea is intriguing.
So much happened. So much that I wish I could write down now but I just can't remember every single detail since then.
My current feeling is quite discontented. I'm getting to a huge state of paranoia. I see kk and anna talking about getting into college and ive worked myself into this tremendous complex system of thoughts. I 'm beginning to think that the work im doing this year is going to decide my fate in college and furthermore the state of my future life. Its so bizarre and I can't really talk about it because it really only makes sense to me, I'm pretty sure. And yet I feel like i'm watching my chances of success dripping away and my chances of hving a future as well. Every time I don't do my english homework i feel as though there is another college that won't accept me. It's extreme but it's how i think.
LSOH. I love you guys so much. thank you for everything that you have done for me and for the innumerable good times and everything.
Signing out,
Michael
I guess the most efficient way to do this update would be to do a list of things I've done. I wish I could write a paragraph for each and every single event but unfortunately that is quite impossible. Which leads to another reason to update more frequently: a bunch of details of memories will be lost from being written down. I'll try.
-I got Mushnik in Little Shop of Horrors in one of the best castings I've seen in a while.
-I went to see Avenue Q and fell in love with the show in every way. One of the most amazing nights.
-Emily and I went to see Bright Eyes the night before a French midterm and didn't get home until the wee hours of the morning. I had tremendous amounts of fun and wonderful conversations.
-Someone may or may not have developed a skeevy mancrush on me.
-I let go of a previous crush and just decided it was better for me to move on.
-I let down a best friend when i didn't show up to a promised occasion. I have to say more on this. I feel like such a douche bag and I want to just talk to her and tell her everything I felt that weekend but when she comes down the hallway I just get scared.
-I completely stopped doing work for English and I'm really hurting my average as well as my self-esteem.
-I developed a new crushish.
-I vowed to effectively give up on old friendhsips but instead of taking a healthy friendship i reacted by proceeding in an immature rebuttle. I don't cope well with change.
-My mother purchased one of the town houses. I think i may get my own room as a final verdict. I showed my house to my friends and they loved it reassuring me that I can be happy with change
-I had a wonderful and skanky hellweek for LSOH. The shows were amazing Im in love with the cast. I got named the cast whore.
-My average in English went up 10 points.
-I started excelling in Math Honors.
-i dissected a frog, a grasshopper and an earthworm.
-I got to be really good friends with katie allyn who I barely used to talk to.
-I started enjoying art class less and less.
-I got miserably lost in Manhattan with KK and sofia in one of the worst nights ever, all on a trip to the dermatologist.
-I saw a whole bunch of people from summer camp that i love and miss dearly. Maddy and Tess I sweat you guys.
-I got a lot closer with the cast of LSOH and especially all my girls in the dressing room.
-Laurie Samay began stalking LSOH. Freaky girl.
-I kind of stopped watching The O.C. not because i dont love it but because im so busy.
-I spent a fair amount of lunches in the library.
-I played truth or dare at Todd's house and had the most awkward night of my life.
-I went on a two hour car ride with two drunk people in a really small and smelly car. Bean was my only sober one.
-Melanie and Todd and myself fell out of touch with eachother for two weeks because of our tremendously busy lives.
-My brother went schizo and tried to kill my mom.
-David and I got in a battle using items of kitchenware. For details see his xanga: Aphoticpierce
-My phone broke, I got a new phone, and it broke too!
-I may attend LLC. I got a scholarship for my association with BTC and the idea is intriguing.
So much happened. So much that I wish I could write down now but I just can't remember every single detail since then.
My current feeling is quite discontented. I'm getting to a huge state of paranoia. I see kk and anna talking about getting into college and ive worked myself into this tremendous complex system of thoughts. I 'm beginning to think that the work im doing this year is going to decide my fate in college and furthermore the state of my future life. Its so bizarre and I can't really talk about it because it really only makes sense to me, I'm pretty sure. And yet I feel like i'm watching my chances of success dripping away and my chances of hving a future as well. Every time I don't do my english homework i feel as though there is another college that won't accept me. It's extreme but it's how i think.
LSOH. I love you guys so much. thank you for everything that you have done for me and for the innumerable good times and everything.
Signing out,
Michael