(no subject)
OMFG im never talking to my mom about anything ever again, im sick of her, im not telling her about ezy anymore, im not telling her about me n ben anymore, im not telling her shit. bcuz she treats me like shit, and bcuz everything i tell her about other people gets me in trouble. i told her about erne, and ther stuff that ezy has been going through maybe because i wanted SOME DAMN ADVICE but no, i get in response... ''i dont think i want you around her'' what the FUCK?!??! okay mom, real nice, ill leave my best friend, that way she has yet another thing to be upset and want to kill herself over. jesus christ, what kind of a person is she? i wonder if she even knows how crazy everyone thinks she is. i mean come on, im 15, FIFTEEN a fucking 15 year old who had a dad that told her he didnt want her... my dad told me he didnt want me to my face, and i have nothing more than the thought of to blame it on his stupid fucking dumbass decisions he made with drugs. but for some reason im not trusted. at all... sorry mom, but i know what it feels like to want to kill urself, and im sorry that u didnt even see that is YOUR OWN DAUGHTER... what a great mom, god damn, i cant WAIT till my 18th bday when i can get the fuck out of this house. and leave... to nc, and start over without my mom or my dad. i dont need either of them, i dont need my dads stupidity and mental problems to deal with and i deff. dont need my moms selfishness and lack of faith in me. im gnna move out of state, and not talk to her until my kids are completely grown up, bcuz all she seems to care about is her damn grandkids. i cant do anything bcuz all she wants is grandkids, well sorry mom, but i dont want my kids growing up in all this shit like i did, i dont want them to be depressed, i dont want u to make them feel miserable like u made me feel since i was 12 so i hope this all pays off with her, i hope she understands that every little selfish stupid thing she does, and how stupidd she treats me, is making me want to stay distant from her more and more. oh yea, so this weekend, im only allowed to see ben for 5 hours. i remember the 1st day he came over, he came over at 10 am and she let him leave at 11pm... then she moved it to 10 bcuz i kept on comming home late, which had absolutely nothing to do with me, then for absolutely no reason, actually, prolly to make me more miserable, she moved it to 9... and this weekend, i have to be home at 6... so i guess now to make me more and more upset, its moved down 3 more hours just because she knows she hurts me and likes when im upset. all she cares about is making me upset. maybe if me n ben ever break up, i shouldnt even try to make myself happy anymore, because obviously its completely worthless, i mean, why should i be able to try to make myself happy, and as much as she hates me, the one thing in this whole world that does make me happy, she is slowly taking it away, why cant she just be like other parents. why does she have to be so much like olga's mom? actually nvm, shes worse, bcuz olga is allowed to see the one thing that makes her happy on both days of the week, for as long as she wants, and me, im allowed to see my happiness for 5 hours. which prolly will soon be like 3 hours. and then to no hours, bcuz of all that sex and drugs and acohol im involved with and all.