Random entry
tomorrow i leave to LA to go to USA nationals. i guess i'd be more excited if we ewren't gonna suck but whatever.
Exactly one year ago from tomorrow (march 31) i would have left for campanytown with one of the best groups of people i have ever met. cuz of campanytown, i became such good friends with so many people and it was sooooooo fun too. i wish it was a year ago so i could go back. it was one of the only places and one of the few times where i felt like i could actually be myself and not care about what people are gong to think of me. I'm the kind of person that is always thinking of what other people think of me, what they are saying about me and i watch my every move. i've done it for so long that i can't really help it anymore. it's hard to find someone who i can actually be myself around and know that they wont think any less of me. one of the few exceptions where i was myself was camp anytown and i guess tahts why you could say i liked it so much. so many people say that you should be true to yourself and not worry about what everyone else thinks of you. i've heard it more times than i can count but no matter how many times i hear it, it'll never really gonna mean anything. i was raised thinking that i have to present the best of myself so that i can have a good future. i was told that i should or shouldn't do something only because of how other people will see me and what they will think. i was taught that everyone else comes before me and that i should please them before myself. when i was younger, this is what i thought everyone was like but as i got older, i noticed that i was so different from everyone else. becasue my culture is like that, people would take advantage of me and i thought i would be bad to say no so i would. now i don't let anyone do that to me for obvious reasons. my brother is learning phsycology and he's learned so many things about culture and how it clashes with another. ex: hispanic culture teaches you that you should never took into the eyes of an authorative figure when being punished becaue that signifies that you want to challenge them which makes everything so much worse. here, people are told to look into the eyes of whoever is talking to you. when a hispanic person comes here, and they get in trouble by a teacher for something and look down because thats what they were always told to do, then the teacher gets even more mad then before becasue it's a sign of disrespect. now the kid is confused cuz he doesn't know what to do. what he has been taught his whole life is now getting him in trouble eventhough he doesn't know any better. i guess i was the confused kid.
Exactly one year ago from tomorrow (march 31) i would have left for campanytown with one of the best groups of people i have ever met. cuz of campanytown, i became such good friends with so many people and it was sooooooo fun too. i wish it was a year ago so i could go back. it was one of the only places and one of the few times where i felt like i could actually be myself and not care about what people are gong to think of me. I'm the kind of person that is always thinking of what other people think of me, what they are saying about me and i watch my every move. i've done it for so long that i can't really help it anymore. it's hard to find someone who i can actually be myself around and know that they wont think any less of me. one of the few exceptions where i was myself was camp anytown and i guess tahts why you could say i liked it so much. so many people say that you should be true to yourself and not worry about what everyone else thinks of you. i've heard it more times than i can count but no matter how many times i hear it, it'll never really gonna mean anything. i was raised thinking that i have to present the best of myself so that i can have a good future. i was told that i should or shouldn't do something only because of how other people will see me and what they will think. i was taught that everyone else comes before me and that i should please them before myself. when i was younger, this is what i thought everyone was like but as i got older, i noticed that i was so different from everyone else. becasue my culture is like that, people would take advantage of me and i thought i would be bad to say no so i would. now i don't let anyone do that to me for obvious reasons. my brother is learning phsycology and he's learned so many things about culture and how it clashes with another. ex: hispanic culture teaches you that you should never took into the eyes of an authorative figure when being punished becaue that signifies that you want to challenge them which makes everything so much worse. here, people are told to look into the eyes of whoever is talking to you. when a hispanic person comes here, and they get in trouble by a teacher for something and look down because thats what they were always told to do, then the teacher gets even more mad then before becasue it's a sign of disrespect. now the kid is confused cuz he doesn't know what to do. what he has been taught his whole life is now getting him in trouble eventhough he doesn't know any better. i guess i was the confused kid.