Fucking Pissed
Pissed. Fucking pissed.
A screw up at work by someone else and I got to suffer from it.
CB.
Well, I know I am not perfect and have my fair share of screwups but to have it tonight of all blurdy nights....when I have to wake up early the next freaking morning has made me fucking mad!
And now that I am pissed to high heavens, I just feel like ranting like a shrew, so pardon me.
The bff is coming back in less than a month and it'll be great. There's never a boring day with her around BUT I know what she has in store for me and I don't like it.
She's going to start pairing me up with every guy she knows just so she can make me forget someone. I am going to force myself to be open to that possibility because it will be good for me to broaden my horizons.
As you can see, I am trying to be positive and open to challenges and different possibilities. My life path may be different from what I envision or desire it to be. It might be better this way.
I don't have to like it though.
Yesterday, he asked me why did it matter to me how long it'll be. I told him I was curious why he wouldn't just settle for the lesser instead of fighting and risking it all.
FUCK curiousity! It's not curiousity, it's a selfish feeling that I won't get to be held by him again.
But with Debz back in the picture, even with a possibility of another chance, she will drag me away from that. How strong is my love? Looks like it'll be put to the test very soon.
God give me strength.