it's tomorrow!!!!!
hello all..
I really don't even know if i feel like going into detail about what i'm feeling or what has happened but fuck it..it's my journal..It makes me feel better expressing it..
I didnt see Nick for a week due to our work hours conflicting and the snow..anywho he came over last night after he got out of work.. i was so excited that he was finally coming..i had to run upstairs really quick to help shannon online and nick remained downstairs when i came back down he wa son his cell phone..i heard' i'm just calling you back cause i said i would' after he hung up i asked who it was and he said well...(i knew right there who it was) im like nick who was it..he's like well sherrie came over my house today blah blah blah may i mind u he was at work..why was she going there??? im like that didnt answer my question who was on the phone and he said he was calling sherrie back..he didnt want her calling during the movie...umm i would have much rather her have called ...i dont have a problem with them talking at all i have a problem with the fact that he called her from MY house...i would NEVER call matt from his house...anyway i got upset and i asked if his mom like her more than me and instead of him saying no he replies with " she has known her longer grace" he didnt know it but i wanted to die right there and cry.. i dont know what it is..i worry constantly that he is thinking about her and no matter how much he says he loves me(which i know he does) i still feel like he always thinks of her or compares me to her in his head...i dont know if its cause i have issues trusting guys after what ive been through but i have a bd feeling about all of it and i think its only going to get worse...i understand he might get jealous of matt too but i guess there is nothing either of us can do.. i was honest and up front about matt since day 1 to nick i explained he was my best friend and if i ever had to choose between the 2 of them i think i would just kill myself..matt is like someone i cant function without..i think he's the only one that really gets me..and nick is like a second chance..sometimes everything with him just seems to good to be true..ugggghhhhhhh i just want everything to be ok...
after we talked about everything we were ok and one thing led to another and yeah we ended up in my downstairs bathroom lol...half way through i hear my mom open her bedroom door and say "grace ur still awake" im like holy shittttt....so i say yes and she says ok and goes back to bed lol...close freaken call lol..oh boyyy it's reasons like that, that make me like him so much..spontaneous acts of craziiness...anyway..
my birthday is tomorrow...going out with matt in the after noon then nick at night...saturday we are all going to the charlie horse and then to a strip club..fun fun...most of us have never gone b4 so it will be fun..can't wait to wear my 21 birthday crown...i'll write more later byeeeeeee xoXo
Gracie <3
I really don't even know if i feel like going into detail about what i'm feeling or what has happened but fuck it..it's my journal..It makes me feel better expressing it..
I didnt see Nick for a week due to our work hours conflicting and the snow..anywho he came over last night after he got out of work.. i was so excited that he was finally coming..i had to run upstairs really quick to help shannon online and nick remained downstairs when i came back down he wa son his cell phone..i heard' i'm just calling you back cause i said i would' after he hung up i asked who it was and he said well...(i knew right there who it was) im like nick who was it..he's like well sherrie came over my house today blah blah blah may i mind u he was at work..why was she going there??? im like that didnt answer my question who was on the phone and he said he was calling sherrie back..he didnt want her calling during the movie...umm i would have much rather her have called ...i dont have a problem with them talking at all i have a problem with the fact that he called her from MY house...i would NEVER call matt from his house...anyway i got upset and i asked if his mom like her more than me and instead of him saying no he replies with " she has known her longer grace" he didnt know it but i wanted to die right there and cry.. i dont know what it is..i worry constantly that he is thinking about her and no matter how much he says he loves me(which i know he does) i still feel like he always thinks of her or compares me to her in his head...i dont know if its cause i have issues trusting guys after what ive been through but i have a bd feeling about all of it and i think its only going to get worse...i understand he might get jealous of matt too but i guess there is nothing either of us can do.. i was honest and up front about matt since day 1 to nick i explained he was my best friend and if i ever had to choose between the 2 of them i think i would just kill myself..matt is like someone i cant function without..i think he's the only one that really gets me..and nick is like a second chance..sometimes everything with him just seems to good to be true..ugggghhhhhhh i just want everything to be ok...
after we talked about everything we were ok and one thing led to another and yeah we ended up in my downstairs bathroom lol...half way through i hear my mom open her bedroom door and say "grace ur still awake" im like holy shittttt....so i say yes and she says ok and goes back to bed lol...close freaken call lol..oh boyyy it's reasons like that, that make me like him so much..spontaneous acts of craziiness...anyway..
my birthday is tomorrow...going out with matt in the after noon then nick at night...saturday we are all going to the charlie horse and then to a strip club..fun fun...most of us have never gone b4 so it will be fun..can't wait to wear my 21 birthday crown...i'll write more later byeeeeeee xoXo
Gracie <3