All your old notes and school papers are really interesting. And the letter from horse camp is very funny! Why is he 17 and only in 10th grade I wonder? Did you ever send him a pic? hee hee.
And that report about yourself... I love that kinda stuff. I saved a lot of my old writings and other friend's writing. I'm a bit of a pack rat too. But I feel like I forget where I came from sometimes and re-reading the old me or pieces of the old me helps me see where I was and how I have changed or haven't changed at all for that matter. I found an old poem I wrote at age 18, when I was 23 and freaking out about life, everything and who I was. The poem spelled it out for me. I realized I knew myself really well when I was 18 (surprisingly) and maybe over the years I started questioning identity too much and forgetting to just listen to myself. Hmm... as John Lennon sings "Who am I? Who am I suppose to be? Who am I suppose to be? All my love... all my love!" :) *hugs*
hmmm. old stuff.. i've kept alot of things too... when i was at uni and living on campus i used to make a scrapbooks every year out of things i had put on my wall... i used to really love my walls.. *sigh.. been a while since i looked at them. i need to get my own place and settle down..
i had my shit together so much better when i was at school where is my mind?
i'm ready to get back home. aww *sigh horse camp. aww TR, when u gonna come visit us in oz?? xo
hey kuta, if i had the finances i would catch the next plane out to australia in a flash. !!! i know it wouldn't solve my problems or make the hurt go away but it sure would help distract me abit. all the australians i haev ever met in my life haev been evry friendly and good to talk to. even some crazy cokehead i met in london, he was just so fucking cheerful! plus the heat would be oppressive and i could concetrate on being grossed out by that rather than this! ha. plus i have heard lots of good things about australia and i have always wanted ot go there. since i was like 10. i have an old penpal in adelaide, as well as obviously jacobus and caroline being there. where are you at the moment? i didn't even know you were back in oz. i am, as they say, so out of the loop. look, i have regained some sort of sense of humour, that's a good sign at least.
hey katie, no i never did sen him apicture though i did rsepond to his note just saying hello i believe. i have always liked letters so i always respond to mail i get. he never replied though which is fine.
what oyu said about finding something from the past when you felt a little more secure makes a lot of sense. the thing is i felt i have grown since i was 17 and still know myself quite well but it doesn't always do much for oneself, you know? sigh.
i know john lennon's music has always been helpful to me throughout my life, i really ought to listen to some now but i haven't been able to yet. it is almost as if i can't let myself be ok yet because it has only been a couple days, you know? but i am trying to be optimistic and today once i maged to get dressed i dressed for sunny weatehr cos i could see the blue breaks in the sky. however now it's poring out, and i'm wearing flip flops and white pants. so much for optimism,eh? fo shizzle.
fo shizzle! it's dumping bucks o' water as I type dis. and I totally understand wanting to not "be ok" at the moment. I like to listen to very depressing music and scream a lot when I am truly upset. I even made a mix of the most depressing songs I could think of and I just threw it away a few days ago because I didn't want it anymore. But at the time I listened to it none stop even on head phones while in class. I made some of my best art stuff while utterly depressed and heart broken. Be not ok, be sad, angry, upset, just let it out... and if you need to talk I'm here. If you want to drive around and scream to pj harvey in my car or some other music, that is one of my favorite therapeutic things to do. *more hugs and an umbrella to stay dry!*
And that report about yourself... I love that kinda stuff. I saved a lot of my old writings and other friend's writing. I'm a bit of a pack rat too. But I feel like I forget where I came from sometimes and re-reading the old me or pieces of the old me helps me see where I was and how I have changed or haven't changed at all for that matter. I found an old poem I wrote at age 18, when I was 23 and freaking out about life, everything and who I was. The poem spelled it out for me. I realized I knew myself really well when I was 18 (surprisingly) and maybe over the years I started questioning identity too much and forgetting to just listen to myself. Hmm... as John Lennon sings "Who am I? Who am I suppose to be? Who am I suppose to be? All my love... all my love!" :)
*hugs*
Reply
old stuff..
i've kept alot of things too... when i was at uni and living on campus i used to make a scrapbooks every year out of things i had put on my wall... i used to really love my walls.. *sigh.. been a while since i looked at them. i need to get my own place and settle down..
i had my shit together so much better when i was at school
where is my mind?
i'm ready to get back home.
aww
*sigh
horse camp.
aww TR, when u gonna come visit us in oz??
xo
Reply
if i had the finances i would catch the next plane out to australia in a flash. !!! i know it wouldn't solve my problems or make the hurt go away but it sure would help distract me abit. all the australians i haev ever met in my life haev been evry friendly and good to talk to. even some crazy cokehead i met in london, he was just so fucking cheerful! plus the heat would be oppressive and i could concetrate on being grossed out by that rather than this! ha. plus i have heard lots of good things about australia and i have always wanted ot go there. since i was like 10. i have an old penpal in adelaide, as well as obviously jacobus and caroline being there. where are you at the moment? i didn't even know you were back in oz. i am, as they say, so out of the loop. look, i have regained some sort of sense of humour, that's a good sign at least.
Reply
no i never did sen him apicture though i did rsepond to his note just saying hello i believe. i have always liked letters so i always respond to mail i get. he never replied though which is fine.
what oyu said about finding something from the past when you felt a little more secure makes a lot of sense. the thing is i felt i have grown since i was 17 and still know myself quite well but it doesn't always do much for oneself, you know? sigh.
i know john lennon's music has always been helpful to me throughout my life, i really ought to listen to some now but i haven't been able to yet. it is almost as if i can't let myself be ok yet because it has only been a couple days, you know?
but i am trying to be optimistic and today once i maged to get dressed i dressed for sunny weatehr cos i could see the blue breaks in the sky. however now it's poring out, and i'm wearing flip flops and white pants. so much for optimism,eh? fo shizzle.
Reply
and I totally understand wanting to not "be ok" at the moment. I like to listen to very depressing music and scream a lot when I am truly upset. I even made a mix of the most depressing songs I could think of and I just threw it away a few days ago because I didn't want it anymore. But at the time I listened to it none stop even on head phones while in class. I made some of my best art stuff while utterly depressed and heart broken. Be not ok, be sad, angry, upset, just let it out... and if you need to talk I'm here. If you want to drive around and scream to pj harvey in my car or some other music, that is one of my favorite therapeutic things to do. *more hugs and an umbrella to stay dry!*
Reply
Leave a comment