mixed emotions
rough day. I'm fighting the feeling of isolation. it's screaming in my ears.
walls are closing in and there is nothing I can do to stop them.
everything is so loud. everything is nauseating. I want to be sick and get it over worth.
to date, I'm two days off of Zoloft. I'm trying to make it last. I'm so broke, I can't afford my own sanity.
it's wearing on me.
I should take a walk or pray because I feel so restless and ... bleak.
but it might rain.
suddenly, I don't even care.
I miss my friends. (oh wait.) never mind.
edit. I'm tired of missing friends that don't miss me.
I'm tired of being stood up. I'm tired of not mattering.
I'm so irritated with myself and I just want to cry. [check]
I hate feeling like this. I want to be more in control.
I want to make it stop. but it's so loud and so quiet at the same time ...
and it's only 8:40. 41. 42. 43. it's far to early to feel like the world is coming to an end.
it should at least wait until midnight to sneak up on me.
when I tell my Dad how I feel, he tells me that he loves me.
now I know what it's like to know that loving someone will never fix them.
love is helpless sometimes. but that doesn't mean it's not worth everything.
I miss being naive enough to believe that I could make it better. I miss believing in the power of love.
now I'm too bitter to have any kind of hope in love at all.
forget this. I'm taking a walk. I can't keep thinking of all these things.
I really will make myself sick.
sorry to be so down, guys.
walls are closing in and there is nothing I can do to stop them.
everything is so loud. everything is nauseating. I want to be sick and get it over worth.
to date, I'm two days off of Zoloft. I'm trying to make it last. I'm so broke, I can't afford my own sanity.
it's wearing on me.
I should take a walk or pray because I feel so restless and ... bleak.
but it might rain.
suddenly, I don't even care.
I miss my friends. (oh wait.) never mind.
edit. I'm tired of missing friends that don't miss me.
I'm tired of being stood up. I'm tired of not mattering.
I'm so irritated with myself and I just want to cry. [check]
I hate feeling like this. I want to be more in control.
I want to make it stop. but it's so loud and so quiet at the same time ...
and it's only 8:40. 41. 42. 43. it's far to early to feel like the world is coming to an end.
it should at least wait until midnight to sneak up on me.
when I tell my Dad how I feel, he tells me that he loves me.
now I know what it's like to know that loving someone will never fix them.
love is helpless sometimes. but that doesn't mean it's not worth everything.
I miss being naive enough to believe that I could make it better. I miss believing in the power of love.
now I'm too bitter to have any kind of hope in love at all.
forget this. I'm taking a walk. I can't keep thinking of all these things.
I really will make myself sick.
sorry to be so down, guys.