(no subject)
temptation comes in many forms. life is hard. the right thing to do is rarely the easiest or clearest.
seems like everyone keeps telling me these things, everyone including myself, but it's kind of like someone living in tahiti telling someone that snow is cold. the human mind has always been so powerful (as well as our confidence of its power) that usually we can rationalize how hard a decision is going to be, and in what ways that decision will be hard. sadly, the more you rationalize or predict or prepare for all of this, the more ways life seems to find to throw you off of your feet again. what's more is that you have to live with what you are doing no matter how much you just sit there thinking about what you are going to do, thinking you are making things better by trying to deal with all of the pain and the doubt and uncertainty ahead of time. thinking about all this just makes more fucked up thing happen to you. after a point, these things are become your own thoughts, or the smallest of occurances or words uttered, and you've become so concentrated on the big stuff, the the little stuff knocks you off of your feet like a ton of bricks.
but i don't feel any differently. or believe any differently. i still have that.
seems like everyone keeps telling me these things, everyone including myself, but it's kind of like someone living in tahiti telling someone that snow is cold. the human mind has always been so powerful (as well as our confidence of its power) that usually we can rationalize how hard a decision is going to be, and in what ways that decision will be hard. sadly, the more you rationalize or predict or prepare for all of this, the more ways life seems to find to throw you off of your feet again. what's more is that you have to live with what you are doing no matter how much you just sit there thinking about what you are going to do, thinking you are making things better by trying to deal with all of the pain and the doubt and uncertainty ahead of time. thinking about all this just makes more fucked up thing happen to you. after a point, these things are become your own thoughts, or the smallest of occurances or words uttered, and you've become so concentrated on the big stuff, the the little stuff knocks you off of your feet like a ton of bricks.
but i don't feel any differently. or believe any differently. i still have that.