Prompt Post Round 2
Rules~ Prompt Post Round 1~ Fills Round 1~ Discussion
This post is now closed to new prompts, but open to fills and comments. Post new prompts on round 3!A note: anons, your comments may not show up right away. This is an LJ server problem I can't do anything about. Rest assured that your comments haven't been deleted, they're just lost in the ( Read more... )
This post is now closed to new prompts, but open to fills and comments. Post new prompts on round 3!A note: anons, your comments may not show up right away. This is an LJ server problem I can't do anything about. Rest assured that your comments haven't been deleted, they're just lost in the ( Read more... )
You could tell, just by looking at the test subject application form. It was one of the first questions. "Are you a) wanted for any outstanding offences under state or federal law; b) an illegal immigrant; c) currently absent without leave from any form of military service?" Of course, the applicants always answered "no", and Aperture couldn't possibly be held responsible for checking into the backgrounds of every single test subject on their books at any one time. Especially not with the high turnover that was an inevitable side effect of the extremely stringent testing process.
But this morning, for the first time ever in Doug's experience, one of them had answered "yes".
His job was to go through the form with the applicants and assess their psychological state, determine whether they were able to handle the requirements of testing, and...
...it was a joke, a travesty, he deserved to go to Scientist Hell for all the damaged, vulnerable people whose applications he had rubber-stamped in order to meet his targets...
A repetitive knocking at the door forced him to set those thoughts aside.
"Hullo? Hullo? They told me this was where I should come, only now I'm not sure if they said left or right at the end of the corridor... Hullo? Dr... Rattman?" The man who said "yes" was evidently outside.
Doug glanced quickly through his paperwork. Physically, he was in far better shape than the majority of people they saw in here, although the doctors had also commented that he was "pumpkin positive," referring to the phenomenon whereby a pen torch shone into a subject's mouth would shine out of his ears and eyes, unimpeded by the presence of a brain.
He allowed himself the luxury of a small groan, then called for the man to come in.
Test subject Wheatley was so tall he had to stoop to get through the door. He grinned as he shook Doug's hand, then folded himself into his chair. "This is the right room then? Cos I wasn't sure... Been looking forward to this bit. They've been poking and prodding and measuring me all morning, been looking forward to just sitting down and having a good ol' chat."
His voice was surprisingly deep for such a thin man, with an accent that made Doug want to smile. Coughing to hide his sudden disquiet, he began to make his assessment. Wheatley's IQ was normal, albeit slightly below average. He appeared to have some form of attention deficit, but he was very eager to please. Doug felt a little sorry for him. He was just smart enough to realise that he was stupid.
"Most of your paperwork is actually in order, Mr, uh, Wheatley," he concluded, opening the form to the relevant page. "It's just question 15." Wheatley craned his head around and studied the page where Doug was pointing. "What? Oh yeah. Well I mean it's not "yes" to the whole thing, obviously, but still, two out of three ain't bad, eh?"
"You don't understand... if you answer "yes", we can't accept you." Wheatley's face fell.
Doug sighed. He really, really hated this part, but Henry's instructions had been quite specific.
"Maybe you made a mistake? If you ask me for a new page, you can fill it in again."
Wheatley frowned, then after an unbearably long pause, his face brightened.
"All right then... Can I, er, can I have a new page, please?" He winked and tapped his nose. "Dodged a bullet there, eh?"
Doug forced the image of this scrawny, ridiculous man confronted by a roomful of turrets out of his mind. He returned the file to its folder, and handed it back to Wheatley.
"Ok, hand these in back at the office, then follow the signs for Test Associate Hygienification and Pedicular Elimination."
Wheatley grinned as he took his papers, snapping Doug a little salute as he made for the door.
"Bye, Dr Rattman."
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